Today's Dr. Phil: I am truly shocked

[hercamore]

My son is 23 and has no college debt. Working a temp full time job and will start grad school soon.

DD also has no debt (so far) starting her jr. year UMTC. They both paid for their own tuition/fees/books. We paid for their housing/food.

I wish I had seen this Dr. Phil show.

herc.

 

[Sammie]

Originally posted by barbeml
Today's topic was college grads whining that they are in debt, Mommy & Daddy are no longer paying for everything and they do not have "totally awesome fun jobs."

Talk about people who need a reality check. None of these kids seems to have gotten any parental guidance on how to live day to day. Some did not know how to write a check or what it costs to maintain a car.

Some were $60,000 in debt! Monthly budget items ranged from "the bulk of my income goes for alcohol" to "I spend $2,000 per month on clothes." They interviewed a bunch of other college kids on the street who said they thought the average salary they would get for their first job was $100,000!

Why aren't parents talking about this important stuff with their kids today? My parents always discussed household finance, good credit habits etc. with us, and there was even a class in High School called "Single Survival" that taught us everything from opening a bank account to managing credit.

Yikes!

In my opinion as an under 30 person your last paragraph is the key note here. For example and please no flaming me as this is my opinion and no critism of anyone particular person just examples.

I read all the time posts on here about which resort should I book to make my 2 year old happy. Gee what 2 year old cares. Or the one where my son does not want to use his ticket because Minnie is on it. My Dad would have said, Fine if having a ticket with Minnie on it is a big deal to you, you can stay home and we will give it to someone who appreciates going regardless of who is on the ticket.

Limos for 6 year old birthday partys, rooms at the Grand Floridians with spa treatments at 12.

I mean no wonder when they meet the real world head on, its a reality check of work is not fun.

 

[Poohbear123]

My DD found out about the REAL WORLD Quick! When she "dropped out" of college, and came home and said her "counselor said she needed to rest"......she rested alright, for about 3 weeks and than OUT the door she went, via my FOOT! She is NOW 22, married, a Mom, and KNOWS what its like to PAY BILLS!!! Including the Student Loan she took out, and has to pay back.

 

[Disney Doll]

My DH is a realtor, and he has told me numerous times about the newlywed 20-somethings who come into his office with thousands of $$$ of consumer debt because they have to lease a "Beemer" and buy the Manolos etc. Then they want to buy a house, and don't understand why the bank won't give them a mortgage with their thousands of dollars of consumer debt. Then, they also want the 4 bedroom 3 1/2 bath colonial that Mom and Dad live in now, and God forbid they should have to look at a starter home.!!!
A classic case of not preparing the child for the path.

 

[antbritt]

Originally posted by Deb in IA
They are the kids who got limo rides for their 5th grade graduation . . .

Deb that is exactly what I was thinking!!!

One way or the other REALITY will come, so you can choose to make sure your children are prepared or you can dhoose tto let them think they DESERVE everything!!!!

Mary

 

[momof3disneyholics]

Originally posted by Deb in IA
They are the kids who got limo rides for their 5th grade graduation . . .

 

[HauntedMansionGeek]

Originally posted by Sammie
In my opinion as an under 30 person your last paragraph is the key note here. For example and please no flaming me as this is my opinion and no critism of anyone particular person just examples.

I read all the time posts on here about which resort should I book to make my 2 year old happy. Gee what 2 year old cares. Or the one where my son does not want to use his ticket because Minnie is on it. My Dad would have said, Fine if having a ticket with Minnie on it is a big deal to you, you can stay home and we will give it to someone who appreciates going regardless of who is on the ticket.

Limos for 6 year old birthday partys, rooms at the Grand Floridians with spa treatments at 12.

I mean no wonder when they meet the real world head on, its a reality check of work is not fun.

Truer words were never spoken. Yup yup yup...

 

[msdznyduck]

Originally posted by barbeml
.

I hope Mom and Dad have plenty socked away for these parasites to live off when they are gone, because they are going to have a tough time getting along without help!

I think alot of these "kids" think good ole' Mom 'n Dad will leave them a big inheritance to live on.

 

[RitaZ.]

They interviewed a bunch of other college kids on the street who said they thought the average salary they would get for their first job was $100,000!

ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!

Believe it or not, there are some that do get jobs paying $100k+. Generally, that's not the case though.

 

[ValerieK]

Originally posted by Miss Jasmine
That's because these are the kids whose parents went to the teacher and complained when they didn't get an "A", or the kids who parents always ran out and got them whatever they asked for, or the kids whose parents went and complained when their child got in trouble at school, etc. etc. etc. Face it, there are a lot of kids being raised out there with the "gimme" and "I deserve it" mentality.

I totally agree with this. I use to teach and this happened a lot. Are you a teacher?

 

[onecoolmama]

Originally posted by Miss Jasmine
That's because these are the kids whose parents went to the teacher and complained when they didn't get an "A", or the kids who parents always ran out and got them whatever they asked for, or the kids whose parents went and complained when their child got in trouble at school, etc. etc. etc. Face it, there are a lot of kids being raised out there with the "gimme" and "I deserve it" mentality.

OMG!!! My roomate freshman year of college was like that! I am not even kidding! One time she got "busy" and never got down to Ohio State to pick up a paper that someone else had turned in that she was going to "borrow." It was 10:30 at night the paper was due the next day and she called her mom to go down there and pick it up for her. Which her poor mom, who hates driving at night, did!

We ran into some problems rooming together (not suprising!), and she told the counselor that the only resolution was me leaving becuase there was no way she should have to leave. Well, that wasn't happening...so her mom called the head of housing!LOL! Head of housing not only told me that her mom called, but appreciated how "mature" I was to handle this problem myself instead of having my parents call!LOL!

Come to think of it. BIL is like that too. He is 25, it took him 7 years to graduate college, he has never held a job and he was just given 13k from his parents and a car. Again, he has NO job!!! I can't believe the things parents do to ruin their kids chances of ever learning any resposibility! Oh and BIL has a credit card bill of 22k and all of his bills are again, paid by his mom becuse he does not have a job! And he is now looking and wont take less then 45k! LOL!

 

[Miss Jasmine]

No Valerie, not a teacher, I just read threads on this board.

 

[Mskanga]

I bet you anything these are the kids whose parents say, let my kids have what I couldn't have.
Welcome to the real world!

 

[curlyjbs]

charge charge charge! It's the american way these days and kids of all ages know it! (I personally dont have a cc.....DH does but uses it mainly for business expenses.) I've heard kids in the stores begging mom & dad for something and mom/dad says "no, I didn't bring any money. Know what the kids say? Thats ok just use the card! Can you believe it!

I also blame the school system. There is no competition anymore. Everyone has to be a winner - Everyone has to recieve a passing grade. How do they expect these kids to grow up and face the real world. Everyone does not win. You may be turned down for a job or a loan.... whatever. Kids nowadays dont know how to handle defeat.

It's really sad.

Oh and I agree with the limo statements. Ridiculous! But i have to add: hair/nails/dresses..........Utterly ridiculous. Oh and cell phones too!

Why does a 12 yr old id need a cell phone? DD is in middle school and begs me for one. "All her friends have one" she whines.

It's really SAD!

curly

 

[sha_lyn]

Saw part of the show and thought about my cousin. she ran out and bought a brand new SUV right after graduation, and didn't have a job. when asked about it by her parents she said "Well you both have new cars". thing is both parents had never had brand new cars until that yr. They told her she wanted to start out life at 23 where most professionals are at age 40.

 

[dzneelvr]

It was a sad show to watch. The main point they don't seem to get is that credit involves an interest charge for their money. The first gal didn't blink an eye at the graphic that showd her paying off a $17K student loan at a pace that would eventually cost her $85K!!! I think even Phil was shocked that the light didn't seem to go on with her.

Key to me was that these kids DO want to have a lifestyle right out of the shoot that is the same as their parent's have after decades of work. $2000 a month on clothes --YIKES. Self Sacrifice is a word that is fairly foreign to them....

WDW ON JUNE 24

 

[Jenn Lynn]

I grew up in a wealthy community. My friends were given nice cars to drive, they took great vacations, pretty much had anything they wanted.

Guess what? They ALL knew they would be starting at the bottom of the totem pole when they got a job. They expected it.

Kids who are given things do not all expect hand outs later in life.

 

[Stepharoonie!]

Originally posted by Deb in IA
They are the kids who got limo rides for their 5th grade graduation . . .

 

[Jenn Lynn]

Originally posted by Deb in IA
They are the kids who got limo rides for their 5th grade graduation . . .

No, they are the kids whose PARENTS did not teach them about money. Whose PARENTS did not prepare them mentaly for the reality of the real world. Whose PARENTS took these things for granted and so do the kids.

 

[HeyMickey]

Just a word from the other side...

I'm 20 years old. I've always had it pretty good. My dad has worked for the same engineering company for 30 years. We own our house and five cars. We eat at nice restaurants, go to the symphony and the ballet, and go on wonderful vacations. Thanks to scholarships, savings bonds, stocks, and my parents' generosity I will graduate from a private university next year with no debt.

On the other hand I know my parents didn't just walk out of college and into their current situation. My dad was certainly making a lot less when my parents had me in 1983 than he does now. I know there were a lot of times when they couldn't afford to pay the credit card bill or what have you. My mom's extensive wardrobe (my dad is building a new closet in their bedroom as I type this) was bought almost exclusively from clearance racks, and she dresses better than any mom I know. She starts having nervous tics if we enter a grocery store without her coupons.

I have a fair amount of my own money for a 20 year old kid, and a very good summer job starting in two weeks, but that doesn't mean I'm going to run out and buy a Bimmer and a few pairs of Jimmy Choo's. My clothes always come on clearance too - last week I spent $60 at Aeropostale, but for that money I got three pairs of pants, three shirts, two purses, and two bikinis. I could just as easily have blown that money on one outfit. My friends and I make dinner for each other or hang out at the park rather than going to restaurants or clubs. I know I won't be making a lot of money when I graduate next year, especially if I decide to go on to grad school, and I will probably have to cut corners and give up some things to live on what I will be making. I look at it this way: someday, hopefully, I will be able to afford the car and clothes and vacations of my dreams, and I'll appreciate how well I've done for myself that much more because I had to work and take the bus and live in crappy apartments and eat PB&J to get there.

We kids aren't all total idiots where money is concerned, I promise. Just most of us.