Today's Dr. Phil: I am truly shocked

[Divamomto3]

Originally posted by Deb in IA
They are the kids who got limo rides for their 5th grade graduation . . .

OMG, that is SOOOOO TRUE!!

 

[Pin Wizard]

The question is...where is their common sense! My parents didn't teach me everything step by step. I had classes that helped as well as figuring it out along the way. Apparently, whoever was interviewed lacked common sense.

 

[Duchie]

Wow.....

Makes me think of my niece, who is 21 and struggling to put herself through college. She'd be ticked if she saw this show.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Originally posted by barbeml
I hope Mom and Dad have plenty socked away for these parasites to live off when they are gone, because they are going to have a tough time getting along without help!

Even if the parents did, the kids would blow it. So why have it. They don't know the responsiblity of having money. I'm sure they could blow it in no time. But that WILL be the true eye opener for them if they don't "get it" before hand...when mom and dad are no longer here.

 

[doubletrouble_vb]

I don't think this is true of all kids by a long shot. And I don't think it is a recent phenomena either. The only thing that is new about it is the amount of debt that is available to a group of people who have no jobs (college students).

The difference is a lot more of them have parents who are willing to cushion the blow for them (somewhat stupid since these same people will no doubt have to struggle through their retirement without help from these same bozos).

 

[barbeml]

HeyMickey--Congrats to you and your parents--you have a good head on your shoulders. Just goes to show, it is not always the parents with lots of money who do the poorest job of prepping kids for reality.

doubtletrouble--what really struck me is that even after Dr. Phil showed some of these "young adults" how much they would ACTUALLY be paying for their consumer debt (let alone their student loans), they were not at all phased. They truly seemed to believe that some magical fun and high-paying job was on the horizon. I guess their folks never told them that money does not grow on trees! (I heard that from my Dad often enough!)

 

[maleficent1959]

Originally posted by Jenn Lynn
No, they are the kids whose PARENTS did not teach them about money. Whose PARENTS did not prepare them mentaly for the reality of the real world. Whose PARENTS took these things for granted and so do the kids.

I think you're absolutely right. It isn't a rich kid thing, it's an attitude thing that can afflict rich, middle income and even poor kids.

In five years of working as an advisor to college freshman and sophomores I can tell you I was amazed how many kids have this kind of attitude. It isn't as infrequent as you might think. I can't even begin to guess how many students really thought they would be handed a "totally awesome" job with a huge salary right out of school or how many had no idea about budgeting, writing checks -- just basic stuff.

Quite a few students blew through their loan money long before the end of the semester and came to me to see where they could get more. Another honestly thought that as long as she had checks in her checkbook she had money in the bank. The sad part is that we developed a workshop that taught students how to manage money etc. and it was so poorly attended that my boss decided to pull the plug.

Hearing about how they "deserve" it and didn't think they should have to put in the work required for it really got old. I got even more cynical and jaded after that job.

I could write volumes about my 26-year-old cousin and how she makes the people on Dr. Phil look dowright frugal. I don't know how that woman sleeps at night.

And to be fair, I also advised many students who worked hard, whether putting themselves through school or getting assistance from their parents, who were very grounded and realistic in their expectations. And occasionally some of them were rewarded with the "totally awesome" job right off the bat while the rest were happy to work toward their goals they set for themselves.

 

[bumcat]

Deb
They are the kids who got limo rides for their 5th grade graduation
_________________________________________________


LOL! I think part of the problem is that too many kids are trying to keep up with the Jones's as they saw their parents do. They think they can have it all at once. Their parents have taught them well.

 

[maleficent1959]

Originally posted by doubletrouble_vb
The difference is a lot more of them have parents who are willing to cushion the blow for them (somewhat stupid since these same people will no doubt have to struggle through their retirement without help from these same bozos).

Ah, you must know my DH's uncle Bob He has two children. His DS was the salutatorian from a large Dallas high school, went to a very expensive school in CA (as a non-resident) for bio-mechanical engineering and somehow despite his grades didn't get a scholarship (turns out he never applied for any but that's another story). He has just graduated and got a really good paying job.

Bob's DD also graduated near the top of her class yet applied for no scholarships, got her B.A. and now attends a very expensive law school in CA (as a non-resident). I'm sure she'll do okay when she gets her law degree.

Bob, on the other hand, is an older parent a year away from retirement. He recently lost his job as a "mainfrane dinosaur" as he put it and ended up taking a job in Hong Kong because he couldn't find anything else. Why didn't he just retire early you may ask? Because he is paying for all of the loans his kids took out for school, even the law school loans. So he is looking at working for at least the next ten years while his kids are doing well and paying nothing.

 

[teh fish]

my parents have told me that they are paying for half of college for four years. I have changed majors after 3 years but will still get only one more year with help.

I know money doesn't just appear. It's just a shame that they don't teach us these things in school. I'd rather learn about personal financees and investments then taking a few of the classes I was forced to take in high school.

 

[onecoolmama]

Originally posted by maleficent1959
Ah, you must know my DH's uncle Bob...

Where do I get an Uncle Bob? LOL!!

 

[sunni]

I think these young adults were children that were not taught about the consequences of their actions and made to suffer them. They know nothing of taking responsibility for themselves and they've been babied their whole lives.

My children will only get 2 years of community college from us. Anything else they'll be responsible for. DH and I first have a responsibility to provide for our retirement so that we will not be a burden on our children or society. You value what you have so much more when you've worked hard for it and succeeded.

 

[sunni]

Originally posted by barbeml
I guess their folks never told them that money does not grow on trees! (I heard that from my Dad often enough!)

Dad's love that one. And also "Am I heating the outdoors?", which I've been known to use an awful lot.

I'm a bit cruder with my kids, but it gets the point across. When they start pressuring me to buy something after I've said no, I exasperatedly ask, "And how am I going to pay for it? Can I pull money out of my (butt)?" Generally we are rather strict about language, but in this case it's what works for me. They laugh themselves silly every time (you know kids, it's just as funny the 100th time as it was the 1st) and they get the point with absolutely no further arguement. They realize how absurd it is to think I have endless amounts of money to spend.

 

[Deb & Bill]

Originally posted by theSurlyMermaid
BWAH! I'm glad reality is smacking these kids in the face.

For my first job out of college I was paid about $19,000 a year. I quickly realized that I needed to go back to school and make an effort to take the next step.

...

My first job out of college was teaching school for $6,784/yr. In the 70's.

Two years later I went back to school while I taught another two years to get an Engineering degree. My first salary as an Engineer in the late 70's was about $22,000.

 

[barbeml]

DH has three degrees (Civil Engineering, Land Surveying) and a professional license, plus 20 years of experience and he still does not make $100,000 a year!

My first job paid $8400 per year. Out of that, I had to pay for my car loan (when interest rates were 18%) and gas at $1.50 a gallon which would be more like $3.00 per gallon in today's money. Plus I paid room and board at home and saved for my own appartment.

You know what? Those lean times taught me all I ever needed to know about living responsibly, staying out of debt, saving for big purchases and budgeting. DH and I are doing just fine today because our parents talked to us about these things when we were kids.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

I didn't see the show but it is an interesting topic.

I don't think this is a new phenomena that can be blamed on "today's kids." I'm 36 years old and MY generation has the highest levels of credit card debt, the highest level of personal bankruptcy and the lowest savings rate in history. Since WE are the ones mostly raising today's kids, I guess it isn't surprising that they also know very little about money.

I often wonder what life is going to be like about 40 years from now when the Social Security fund is mostly empty and the people of my generation have no savings at all. I think many people are going to be stuck working right up until death.

 

[LSURyan]

What's the big deal about the limo. Fifth grade graduation is important to some children. They are proud to be moving on to middle school. For a child of that age with little life experiences this is a big moment in their lives. Limos aren't very expensive and it is very exciting especially to a young child...heck even to us older children. I do not see a link between a limo for fifth grade grade graduation and irresponsable young adults.

ryan

 

[sha_lyn]

Here they don't even have a graduation ceremony between ele and middle school, so there wouldn't be anything to take a limo to/from.

I do think the limo ride is a bit excessive. I mean it only adds to what they will expect the parents to give them when they go from middle to high school, and when they graduate high school.

 

[disykat]

My parents paid for my college. I had summer jobs from the time I was 15 and part time during the school year also. Before that I babysat. I had a bank account and I knew how to use it. When my parents gave me money for school, I sat down with them with a breakdown of my anticipated expenses and what I would be able to afford to pay. Then they gave me the money, which I then paid to the college. (One time my college sent my dad a bill instead of me and I've never seen him so mad.)

We plan on funding our children's college as well. They know we are saving money and that I will go back to work full time for that purpose. They know we will spend money on educational opportunities and family vacations. They also know we will NOT spend money on game systems, snacks at the movies, amusement park rides, candy or trinkets when we're out shopping, etc. We are very frugal and tend to look for free entertainment. They know that.

When I was growing up, my parents had more money than many of my friends parents. We took vacations, they paid for my college, etc. However, they did not buy me as many "things" as most of my friends got. They did not give me as much allowance as most of my friends received. They did not tell me I deserved special treatment at school like a few of my friends parents did.
I think I ended up pretty well prepared for real life.

 

[robsmom]

Originally posted by sunni
Dad's love that one. And also "Am I heating the outdoors?", which I've been known to use an awful lot.

LOL - brings back great memories of "do we live in a barn" (apparently if you live in a barn you can leave the door open!)

After I graduted from college, I moved back home to live while I had my first job. My parents charged me rent each month and once a year, I got a rent increase. My mother would always say, "I am a landlord and the landlord always raises the rent". I stayed because I knew that paying rent was still most cost effective than getting an apartment and I had to pay off my student loans (tuition, not credit card debt!!). I ended up staying until I got married at 28. I think i was paying $500 or $550 a month when I left! At one point, when my sister, brother, and I were all living there (they were both in school at the time) my brother posted a notice on the refrigerator for the first ever "tenants association meeting" to be held at 9pm on Thursday. My mother then posted a notice to "all tenants" reminding them that the tenant association should be careful of its demands or the landlord would evict us. Needless to say we had no demands and it turned out that my brother just wanted some new bathroom rules so we posted the new tenant association rules on the bathroom and all had a good laugh.