Today is my anniversary

[a1tinkfans]

I'm sorry you DH has missed so many important things in your family!

THANK YOU to BOTH of you/family for all your sacrifices for our GREAT country.


HAPPY ANNIVERSARY too!

 

[locolala]

I agree with the making lots and lots of cake. Today is a day where calories don't count! Have a spa day at home if you can, make your kids bring you dinner as you relax in front of the tv (only slightly kidding here). I know it's hard being a military wife, people tell me all the time how easy I have it... and we really don't! There are times I want to march down to DH's CO's office and ask him what he's smoking. Seriously, this guy... ugh. Sorry.. anyhow, many hugs from me. We're here if you need us!

 

[Nette]

All I have is for you. I know exactly what you are going through. And I say add a bottle of wine to that cake!

 

[GJM]

Irishbosoxfan - Excellent post - that is how I feel. I think I have become use to it, so many people say to me how do you do it. I don't have an answer I just do it.

 

[tinatark]

Thanks Tina. Because I really wanted to feel CRAPPIER today.

I'm very sorry for your family's loss, but that doesn't mean I'm not entitled to feel sad and miss my husband. Just because he's alive doesn't mean that I should be HAPPY that he's missing our children's lives.

I didn't start this to COMPARE my grief and loneliness to anyone else's and yes I'm VERY fortunate that my husband is alive and well, and I know it.

Sorry... I was feeling particularly bad for my SIL yesterday - it will be 1 year next Sunday and I was UPS-ing a memorial board to her just before I came one these boards.

Yes, you should feel sad and miss your husband on your anniversary, but also count your blessings - he has what is the most secure job these days, with great benefits. Once the economy turns around again, his post-retirement offers should be great. The military retirement program is such that he can easily retire, draw his retirement and start another career.

Military commuications have vastly improved from just the past 10 years, I can remember friends at work with husbands deployed (lived in Jacksonville, FL) - getting calls from Cuba, Puerto Rico, etc., and frantically searching the building for them, all the while mentally calculating the $$ the phone calls were costing.

Military wives have to be a special breed - I agree with everything Irishsoboxfan and lovemygoofy said.

 

[TI double GGER]

Oh Sweetie I feel your pain. Printed on the bags at the commissary is "Navy wife, toughest job in the Navy" and boy are they right! DH is a sub sailor, served for 30 years. We have celebrated Christmas in just about every month! We celebrate birthdays and anniversarys whenever we can, the heck with the date on the calendar, it's when ever we are together. The family is so used to doing that my 22 year old DD is planning to fly to New York on Christmas day when I freaked out she said when do we ever celebrate on the right day anyway? Just a fact of life to her! You do deserve to have a pity party, but just a short one then dust yourself off and as pp have said celebrate with the kids. Just a note, my DH has now retired and I REALLY miss it, never thought I'd say that!

 

[Disney Doll]

I am sorry that you are feeling sad and lonely.
I thank you for your service to our country, and I thank your husband for his.
I will keep you both in my prayers.

 

[BabyTigger99]

Ooh, I feel for you. Since DH's deployment, he missed his DD's birthday, my birthday, Ds's birthday, he will miss our anniversary this month, and every holiday that falls from the beginning of July to the beginning of January. Just as long as he makes it back for when our baby is due the end of January....

 

[Longsx3]

Happy Anniversary, sorry your DH is away! I am in the same boat, DH is on a 365 deployment so he will miss everything this year but we haven't been together on our past 2 anniversaries, March will be our 3 apart...our 17th. The end is in sight 28 weeks left on deployment about 31 weeks until he PCS's to Mac Dill and we are all together again...4yrs until retirement.

 

[Jeanne B]

First of all.... to the OP.

Secondly, I started dating a military man earlier this year, he's deploying next spring and even though we're only casually dating (long story short, there's just too much going on in both our lives right now to consider a serious relationship) we're very close and I'm dreading the day he deploys but since I got involved with him I truly have a new found appreciation for soldiers and their spouses...I'm only experiencing a fraction of what a spouse has to endure but when we first got involved he forewarned me that I came into his life at the worst possible time (this is his 3rd deployment) and wow, was he right, there's deployment, but the months leading up to our troops deploying is something I had never thought about in the past, the weeks of training which is even more time away from loved ones, the mental preparation, household and financial preparations, etc, etc...you don't see that part on tv.

So I just wanted to take this opportunity to tell all the military wives on here that I have a tremendous amount of respect for you, as one of you said, you are a special breed.

 

[jsmith]

Happy Anniversay-and know that there is a sisterhood out here that knows how you are feeling. My husband has missed 3 of the last 5-21,23, and 26-and i will be without him for his birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentines and my birthday. I alway reconcile my self with the the thought that the uniform is a part of who he is and if i asked him to give it up i would be asking him to be someone he is not. My situation is a bit different-my husband is National Guard-and could have retired well before 9-11 and the endless cycle of deployments-my children are grown-so im alone.
Its okay to wallow in self pity now and then-the trick is to get up tomorrow and go back to being superwoman-but you only have to do that 9 to 5. And-remember that you married a man who puts duty honor and country before self-that makes him a special man.
Enjoy your day-send him good mental vibes-and when you think you can go on-remember that you are not alone-we are all in this together.

 

[Ember]

Happy anniversary! I know it feels sad right now, and you have every right to feel that way. Take extra special care of yourself and treat yourself gently. Do whatever you need to in order to find a little happiness in this situation. You deserve it. I bet most days you do count your blessings as well as handle this extremely stressful situation with grace. That doesn't mean you can't also have days that are sad and lonely.