Tips on helping someone with depression?

[gr8tpanther]

Bi-Polar CAN be controlled by willpower. I am Bi Polar and have NEVER been on nor will I ever be on drugs! I have struggled with it my entire life and now I am able to control it. It all depends on the person really.

I will say it isn't easy. I just have to know what is important and know my limits and boundries and no matter what, remind myself DAILY how important it is NOT to let go of my desires, wants and impulses.

I have my ups and downs and I have my times of depression and impulsive desires, but I am much stronger than the disease, and that is IMHO what Bi-polar is. It is a disease just like cancer, it can hinder your life, it can make or break you, it can KILL you, if you let it. I choose not to let it!!!

However, I also believe that knowing the problem is a quarter of the battle, dealing with it is the rest of your life, day in day out, non stop. You can't give up and you can't give in, you have to fight every day to stay on top of who and what you are.

 

[ginna74]

NO not EVERYONE can be controlled by will power. I didn't think until you said that that it even could be done. I did some searching and I guess it depends on the person, the severity and such. I found these sites that helped me out
bipolar.com

this has some support stuff and talks about treatment



another support that has some good info too
http://www.mentalhealth.com/dis/p20-md02.html
nice one too


As you and your doctor evaluate your needs, it's important to keep in mind that some people with bipolar disorder will need medication only a few times in their lifetime. Most may need ongoing medication and periodic visits to the psychiatrist throughout their lives. Still others may experience controlled symptoms for many years, only to have them reappear. But since the disorder is treatable, the best plan is to continue with professional treatment even when your symptoms seem to have disappeared. You can reduce your chances of having symptoms return or get worse by continuing regular professional treatment.1

this is the only place I have found about not using meds. It might be dormant but will come out. I wish I didn't have to take meds. But as I said I have to have them as my doctor has said and from what I read up. I know there is a book that I read of this ladies son. She is a famous write and wrote how her son died. He stoped taking his meds and like 3 days later he was dead. He was pretty bad from what I read. No there is no doubt from what I read that most (I say most because I was obviously wrong saying everyone). I do agree with the severity thing though. If you can control it then I you have a very MILD case of it. I knew a lady who CUT herself. And there was no amount of " I love me " that was gonna help that. And I have said that you can even have phschotic episodes also. This is not a will yourself into health disease. It is a physical diesease plain and simple.


****ok it is danielle stelle here is a page where she talked about her son http://www.yourcongress.com/ViewArticle.asp?article_id=79 I STRONGLY SUGGEST YOU READ THIS.... IT IS REALLY MOVING....


the book is called HIS BRIGHT LIGHT..... I first read it when my friend was diagnose. It is a moving book as well.. I don't read .. well any books hardly but I read this start to finish.

ok ty lol

 

[totalia]

Originally posted by gr8tpanther
Bi-Polar CAN be controlled by willpower. I am Bi Polar and have NEVER been on nor will I ever be on drugs! I have struggled with it my entire life and now I am able to control it. It all depends on the person really.

I will say it isn't easy. I just have to know what is important and know my limits and boundries and no matter what, remind myself DAILY how important it is NOT to let go of my desires, wants and impulses.

I have my ups and downs and I have my times of depression and impulsive desires, but I am much stronger than the disease, and that is IMHO what Bi-polar is. It is a disease just like cancer, it can hinder your life, it can make or break you, it can KILL you, if you let it. I choose not to let it!!!

However, I also believe that knowing the problem is a quarter of the battle, dealing with it is the rest of your life, day in day out, non stop. You can't give up and you can't give in, you have to fight every day to stay on top of who and what you are.

Thank you. Exactly. I'm glad someone else agrees with me and its someone who's going through it.

Originally posted by ginna74
NO not EVERYONE can be controlled by will power. I didn't think until you said that that it even could be done. I did some searching and I guess it depends on the person, the severity and such. I found these sites that helped me out
bipolar.com

this has some support stuff and talks about treatment



another support that has some good info too
http://www.mentalhealth.com/dis/p20-md02.html
nice one too


As you and your doctor evaluate your needs, it's important to keep in mind that some people with bipolar disorder will need medication only a few times in their lifetime. Most may need ongoing medication and periodic visits to the psychiatrist throughout their lives. Still others may experience controlled symptoms for many years, only to have them reappear. But since the disorder is treatable, the best plan is to continue with professional treatment even when your symptoms seem to have disappeared. You can reduce your chances of having symptoms return or get worse by continuing regular professional treatment.1

this is the only place I have found about not using meds. It might be dormant but will come out. I wish I didn't have to take meds. But as I said I have to have them as my doctor has said and from what I read up. I know there is a book that I read of this ladies son. She is a famous write and wrote how her son died. He stoped taking his meds and like 3 days later he was dead. He was pretty bad from what I read. No there is no doubt from what I read that most (I say most because I was obviously wrong saying everyone). I do agree with the severity thing though. If you can control it then I you have a very MILD case of it. I knew a lady who CUT herself. And there was no amount of " I love me " that was gonna help that. And I have said that you can even have phschotic episodes also. This is not a will yourself into health disease. It is a physical diesease plain and simple.


****ok it is danielle stelle here is a page where she talked about her son http://www.yourcongress.com/ViewArticle.asp?article_id=79 I STRONGLY SUGGEST YOU READ THIS.... IT IS REALLY MOVING....


the book is called HIS BRIGHT LIGHT..... I first read it when my friend was diagnose. It is a moving book as well.. I don't read .. well any books hardly but I read this start to finish.

ok ty lol

You may take this as an insult but I can find a web site to prove whatever I have said too. The net just doesn't cut it because the net can lie and you have no way of proving the truth of it because the net is NOT policed and not currently subject to most laws. It is a free flowing entity with little control over the people who post those things (or for that matter a way of really tracing said poster). Personal experience tells much more truth.

You may not be able to control how you FEEL, but you CAN control what you DO.

 

[gr8tpanther]

I never said it was EASY! Not by ANY means was my road to self control easy. I was a very violent child, VERY violent! I used to cut myself (I have many scars), I used to hit my head with a hammer, I was very self destructive. The last straw was when I woke up in the hospital from an over dose of 15 different meds from heart and blood pressure meds to meds to move your bowels. ALL this was before I knew I had it because my mother refused to get me help. She would always tell me I NEEDED HELP, but would never get me help. When I tried to kill myself, I knew right then and there that I needed to do something, so I changed my life to make myself happier.

It wasn't till my daughter started showing the same signs that I took her to see a specialist who diagnosed us BOTH with bi-polar. She is on meds, I am not. I have been doing well for 12 years now on the self control aspect and I am not going to say that I will NEVER have an episode, but as long as I can control it, I am not doing meds.

It isn't easy, and there are days when I feel numb, but as stated, I can't control how I feel, but I CAN control what I DO!

I also agree on the severity, some people have it worse than others.

I might also add that my father is bi-polar as well, however him and I haven't spoken in many many years. Being a Bi-Polar parent to a Bi-Polar child is NOT EASY AT ALL!!!!!!!!!! But it too, like all the other life trials and tribulations, CAN BE DONE!

 

[ginna74]

I am glad you two are non medicated.. believe it is o fun! but I do have to say most of the bi polar population needs it. And I so wish it could be controled by willpower! But chemicals in my brain tend to not go where I want them too! It is a purely physical disease and you CAN have psychotic episodes when not treated. I know people who are depressive and not meddicated. That is so different then being bipolar. When not treated you can mimic having psyzophrenia (sp?) and be paranoid and such. I learned that from my doctor. I told here my grandma is and she said there are lots of people who are mis diagnosed and should be labeled as being bi polar.

anyways I am not saying you need meds I am saying that most of the bi polar population does, and the people who don't are more likely to have the disease dormant.. I have never seen anyone who really has it not be on meds. We need then to control the chemicals in out heads. As I said no amount of "I love me"s is going to make my chemicals go where they are supoosed to. Hold insulin from a diabetic and that person will likey die... hold meds from a bipolar person and within a few days you will see either death by suicide or a definete mania or psychotic episode depending on the severity.It is that bad and worse! I was told I am much worse then when I started and basicly if I go off of it I am def agoner lol. No I wish I didn't have to take this. I have gained weight and am always tired. I have no choice as most people do not. I want to live and I want to raise my kids. If I were to stop they would be bearing me, and not because I lacked self control but because I have a disease that is purely physical even now people do not take it as "real" disease.


I get money every month from the VA. My medical is covered for the reast of my life. My meds are as well. I get this becasue I am BI Polar. I take meds and go to counciling. Doing them both helps me continute to be the person I am.


anyways that's my story (and probably most everyones) and I am sticking to it lol!

 

[totalia]

Originally posted by gr8tpanther
I never said it was EASY! Not by ANY means was my road to self control easy. I was a very violent child, VERY violent! I used to cut myself (I have many scars), I used to hit my head with a hammer, I was very self destructive. The last straw was when I woke up in the hospital from an over dose of 15 different meds from heart and blood pressure meds to meds to move your bowels. ALL this was before I knew I had it because my mother refused to get me help. She would always tell me I NEEDED HELP, but would never get me help. When I tried to kill myself, I knew right then and there that I needed to do something, so I changed my life to make myself happier.

It wasn't till my daughter started showing the same signs that I took her to see a specialist who diagnosed us BOTH with bi-polar. She is on meds, I am not. I have been doing well for 12 years now on the self control aspect and I am not going to say that I will NEVER have an episode, but as long as I can control it, I am not doing meds.

It isn't easy, and there are days when I feel numb, but as stated, I can't control how I feel, but I CAN control what I DO!

I also agree on the severity, some people have it worse than others.

I might also add that my father is bi-polar as well, however him and I haven't spoken in many many years. Being a Bi-Polar parent to a Bi-Polar child is NOT EASY AT ALL!!!!!!!!!! But it too, like all the other life trials and tribulations, CAN BE DONE!

You are a very strong person. That's rare these days.

Originally posted by ginna74
I am glad you two are non medicated.. believe it is o fun! but I do have to say most of the bi polar population needs it. And I so wish it could be controled by willpower! But chemicals in my brain tend to not go where I want them too! It is a purely physical disease and you CAN have psychotic episodes when not treated. I know people who are depressive and not meddicated. That is so different then being bipolar. When not treated you can mimic having psyzophrenia (sp?) and be paranoid and such. I learned that from my doctor. I told here my grandma is and she said there are lots of people who are mis diagnosed and should be labeled as being bi polar.

anyways I am not saying you need meds I am saying that most of the bi polar population does, and the people who don't are more likely to have the disease dormant.. I have never seen anyone who really has it not be on meds. We need then to control the chemicals in out heads. As I said no amount of "I love me"s is going to make my chemicals go where they are supoosed to. Hold insulin from a diabetic and that person will likey die... hold meds from a bipolar person and within a few days you will see either death by suicide or a definete mania or psychotic episode depending on the severity.It is that bad and worse! I was told I am much worse then when I started and basicly if I go off of it I am def agoner lol. No I wish I didn't have to take this. I have gained weight and am always tired. I have no choice as most people do not. I want to live and I want to raise my kids. If I were to stop they would be bearing me, and not because I lacked self control but because I have a disease that is purely physical even now people do not take it as "real" disease.


I get money every month from the VA. My medical is covered for the reast of my life. My meds are as well. I get this becasue I am BI Polar. I take meds and go to counciling. Doing them both helps me continute to be the person I am.


anyways that's my story (and probably most everyones) and I am sticking to it lol!

The argument is NOT that no one needs drugs. Some people do. But it is a far fewer number of people than actually take them. Most who take them don't need them. Today's society is entirely too medicated and are seeking the quick fix for everything because they don't want to actually deal with the problem themselves.

The drugs can help you feel better but the drugs don't mean stop you from attacking people, YOU do that.

YOU are responsible for your own behavior. Blaming it on a mental disease is saying that you don't need to take responsibility for your own actions.

 

[tinkerbell of winter]

OMG what scares me is that this woman worked as an RN! Those poor patients. Everyone has their issues but hers sound major and she definiely needs some professional help.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Originally posted by totalia


The drugs can help you feel better but the drugs don't mean stop you from attacking people, YOU do that.

YOU are responsible for your own behavior. Blaming it on a mental disease is saying that you don't need to take responsibility for your own actions.

Tell that to my MIL who is severly schizophrenic...She has to be on drug in order to function in society.

Right now my MIL is on a drug that almost makes her appear normal!!!! It is the best I ever saw her. It is a new drug too and the name escapes me.

When she is unmedicated she is in her own world & in a psychosis. I suppose you can say she is responsible for her actions but she isn't in "reality" at those times.

Thankfully after many a threat and a GREAT med she is committed to taking it. We are open about it as well. It helps.

I hope you don't have to deal with this illness as it is devastating.

 

[ginna74]

Tell that to my MIL who is severly schizophrenic...She has to be on drug in order to function in society.

So is my grandmother. She has seen little men in the closset and talks to dead people everywhere she goes,eats moldy food (don't you dare throw it away or you will get yelled at!), and has dealt with the fire dept many a times to help her (not fire wise). Her and people like her need medicine. NO WILL POWER CAN DO THAT LOL. IT CaN"T BE DONE lol.

I wish you and your family the best and hope the person the OP is refering to is able to get the help she needs. Like I said mental illness is so misunderstood, even today. people think it can be stopped with just wanting it to stop and not the medicine it needs along with counciling. You can't make anyother disease go away that way and you can't make these ones go away. Situation depression maybe. schizophrenic people HAVE to have meds to keep them sane and I have to say prob 99% of bipolar people do too. I have to think mmaybe there is some mis diagnoses also thus they need no meds. I live with this dease very severly on a day to day basis. I have a wonderfull family and support system. I see a councilor and have help that way. If I miss a dose or too I am alreay thinking of ways to hurt myself and other things. It usually ends up by my hubby standing over me making me take my meds. I burst out into tears anywhere and totally loose it. I love my babies and they know I am sick. If I act different then I am normally they know that either I haven't taken my meds or I am sick again. This just doesn't affect the person with the illness it afects the whole family and people around you. I know what to look for but sometimes but the time I have lost it it is too late for me to realize anything besides wanting to kill myself. I don't have ups and downs like the norm bipolar.... I have an up then down down down down .. then up then down down down down down and so on. even on meds I am very emotional and I do hate to say this negative. But it is livable. I have been in hospital and have scars to proove it lol.

when you are schizophrenic you are in your own little world. You don't have the power to will yourself because as bi polar is it is a physical disiese. You get paranoid , see mke believe things, dream you are in make believe worlds, think people are out to get you and thus be violent sometimes. This disease cannot be willed to stop. That is just impossible lol

Check out that book by the way HIS BRIGHT LIGHT it really opened up my eyes to the disease from a mothers point of view


oh this is my opinion as you guys have put yours down.

 

[lsyorke]

"Hold insulin from a diabetic and that person will likey die... hold meds from a bipolar person and within a few days you will see either death by suicide or a definete mania or psychotic episode depending on the severity"

To compare diabetes to mental illness is comparing apples to oranges. The "chemical inbalance" in mental illness is a theory. It may be possible, but has never been proven. You can't draw blood to check a seratonin level, only a brain biopsy will give you that information.What chemical imbalance is present in Bi-Polar?? I've never seen any specifics and if someone has please let me know. The chemical imbalance title came with the advent of new drugs. It made mental illness less stigmatizing. Diabetes is a disease a lack of a measurable substance. It is traceable and treatable by replacing the missing insulin.
The "chemical Imbalance" theory in depression is not proven,not measurable, and junk medicine at best. That being said, mental illness is real. It's treatment remains a mystery so we try different medications and see what happens. We as human beings want everything fixed so jumping to medications is easy. What we don't look at are the side effects that may actually making the situation worse. The ultimate decision to take medication is yours alone. But please don't compare depression to diabetes, they're not in the same category.

 

[ginna74]

I believe they are. I believe what I have researched and from what my doctors have said. It surely is not junk medicine lol. Yes side effects suck lol, at least for me. But I am alive and I owe it to my many meds and the doctors I have seen and continue to see. NO junk medicine there lol!