Tips on becoming a saver?

[MinnieForMe]

I don't know if this was suggested yet but many libraries offer free museum passes, as well as educational passes to places like aquariums, historical sites etc.. Also, since your daughter is so young, look into what your town's Park and Recreations dept. offers. You might find coupons or free events right in your community to attend.

As far as Birthday parties, I have ordered catered food before and never spent over $150 with that amount of people. We keep it simple. A large tray of ziti and meatballs, a healthy salad, nice rolls, and a deli platter. Of course, it doesn't cost much to add chips, or a cheese and fruit platter that you make yourself. My mother and SILs always bring something which adds to the variety.

Good luck! You can do it just take baby steps and pick one area of your life to cut back on.

 

[eliza61]

The themed plates and cups, they add up fast! I have to buy like 4 packs of everything.

Why do you have to have themed paper products?? I just brought a party pack of 100 nice, heavy 10 inch dinner plates. 7.99.

2-3 trips to Disney. cut one, save what you would spend on that.
300 gifts? you don't say how old your daughter is but if she still likes toys my guess is she's young and you could easily give a nice gift for half that.

 

[rnorwo1]

Hints for doing things, like birthday parties, cheaper will only get you so far. Managing money is so much more about attitude and philosophy than know-how and budgets (although those are important, too).

We make about the same amount as you, have 3 children in private schools (because not only are we in the worst school district in one of the worst states (education wise) but the schools are not even safe), and we are able to take 3-4 vacations a year, have no debt (not even a mortgage or car notes) and are able to save. I do not buy clothes at thrift stores or shop garage sales (for time reasons, not that I'm opposed to them), we have a very nice home, just put in an in-ground swimming pool, just bought solar panels, etc. We do not "look" like people who spend little money, is my point. We look just like every other family around us who are in debt up to their eyeballs, many of whom make more than us. We do not spend on things that are not important to us, and therefore we have enough to spend on others that are.

Yes, I am a master at finding bargains, but that is not what allowed us to pay off our mortgage 21 years early with the expense of 3 kids. For ex,
We routinely have birthday parties with 100 people since we both have huge families and the kids' friends. I usually spend less than $200 (have sometimes gone over if renting a bouncy or something) and most of the time I serve a full meal, I always give favors, and the parties are always just what they are meant to be... Fun for the kids. So, I can give you the tips that allow me to do nice parties, but I suspect the real difference between us is what we believe is necessary. While I use Pinterest a lot for ideas, I think seeing all of these ideas makes us believe that is what we have to do. It's beyond "Keeping up with the Jones." While we think our parties are fabulous and everyone seems to think they are great, I am completely ok with the possibility that someone may think that I made a major faux-pas by not having personalized cups or whatever else is the Pinterest norm. I am truly happy with our lifestyle and all that it affords us... I am able to work only what I want to because we have no bills to speak of. So, I would just chuckle at someone working full time to pay for their personalized cups. and if all of our friends are going out to eat for the 3rd time in one week, I am truly ok not going and happy knowing that we are about to go on our 3rd vacation this summer.

My philosophy is that I have a ridiculously easy, blessed life that is filled with absurd extravagances. Therefore, I don't feel that I'm doing without when I don't buy things that our friends are. You can get to your savings goals with budgets and cutting back, but without a change in philosophy you won't be able to sustain or to feel good about it. One of my favorite blogs is Mr. Money Mustache. It is an early retirement blog (like in your 30s kind of early), and we are not intending to do that because we love our professions. He curses a lot, is very judgmental, and does lots of things to save money that I would never do (like bathe and wash your clothes infrequently), but I think his philosophies are spot on. I highly recommend you start from the beginning of his first post and keep reading, it will get you thinking in a new way.

In the end, it is your money... If you want to save more, then you have to make more or spend less. It's totally up to you how you change that formula. If you couldn't live with yourself throwing a party that isn't professionally catered, then that's ok. Just pick somewhere else to cut it. But, you may feel less stressed if you examine your priorities and find out where they are, and make sure you aren't confusing that with others' priorities.

Good luck on your journey!

 

[crisi]

You want to know how other people do it. And how they do it is they have a non catered birthday party for their kid, don't buy them a $300 gift, and don't have $2400 a year in personal trainer expenses. They plan meals.

You have a good income - low $100,000 a year. Lets assume that's AFTER taxes and healthcare (although I bet its before).

You spend 1% of your income on your daughter's birthday.
You spend another 4% of your income on Disney vacations
You spend about 2.5% on your personal trainer.
You spend 12% on grad school for your husband.

You are already around 20% of your income, right there

And we haven't touched car loans, mortgage, property taxes. We haven't paid for groceries. We haven't done pizza on a Friday night, we haven't bought any clothes or shoes. You haven't put your daughter in dance or gymnastic, or attended any concerts.

Think about your expenses as a percentage of your overall take home pay (not your income - that way lies madness).

Then start prioritizing. Organic food - its great - is it more or less important than one vacation? List it in priority order (index cards help). For me, mortgage payments, insurance payments,utilities etc, top the list. Then my BASIC NON-ORGANIC grocery expenses. THEN my savings goals. Now I have money to spend. I like better food than the basics - I like organics, too, so that is pretty high on the list. My kids are in activities at school, that's pretty high on the list. A vacation every year or two is high on the list. I like nice clothes, and everyone in my family does - so the clothes budget is fairly high. Low on our list - we don't have cable TV. We eat out infrequently. My kids constantly complain about the low quality of their cell phone plan. Although my kids are in activities in school - we've kept them reasonable (no hockey!)

Now start filling out your budget based off your priorities. You can do it monthly or annually - but if you do it monthly, budget monthly for annual expenses. You will probably run out of money before you get to the bottom of your priorities, but now you can make decisions based off what's important to you. And move things around - I don't want to have no money for eating out, so I might move some from clothes to dining.

But, two things - your needs are untouchable - the mortgage, utilities, debt. And so is your savings goal - you can only move money around in your wants, or you won't save.

 

[TwoMisfits]

I gotta 2nd the advice of thinking of your priorities and how much they are "worth" to you. It's okay to splurge on things you value highly, just like it's okay to skimp on things you value less. I want to add...it's also okay to have a period of life when you save less, especially if you NEED to spend the money (BUT that doesn't mean you spend yourself into debt!) - the grad degree is probably a need right now, and when it's finished, you will have an open $12K/year. Hopefully, if you can make adjustments now (since it sounds like you are underwater when it comes to money in, money out right now...aka, you are spending more than your income and taking on debt) and get to a zero balance, you will be able to put the entire $12K to savings when the degree is finished. That should be your 1st goal. Once you spend only what you make, then you can work further on spending less than you make (and continue to do even better than the $12K per year).

 

[Lisaloo]

Just. Do. It.

Learn how to want something. I used to buy anything we "needed" immediately. Then I chose to wait for a bit and I usually decided to not even buy whatever it was we had to have in the first place.

Also, spend more to save more. Boots, jackets, luggage, etc. buy quality and not trendy and replace them less often.

We went through a budgeting period where DH said if we give up a housekeeper, private club and Starbucks we can pay off the house TEN years sooner. HECK YEAH! Count me in. Know where all of your money is going and decide if it is worth it.

I'm really passionate about this because DH is a business owner and financial counselor. We try to be extremely conservative and live a fabulous lifestyle. It can be done.

 

[Lisaloo]

That's the crazy thing- I do have the party at home! I'miss not a fan of commercial type parties, but it gets expensive to have a nice party at home. The meal is a buffet with several types of pasta, salad, fruit, some appetizers. It is a catered meal, because i have too much going on that day to cook for 35 people too. Dessert is cake, ice cream, and home made decorative cookies. I made a lot of the decorations, or bought them cheaply and jazzed them up. But all the craft supplies get expensive. Just the cups, lunch plates, cake plates, napkins and cutlery for that many people is around $75. And the favor bags- the trinkets and candy add up! And the helium balloons. An did had to bug a. princess costume and wig so my sister in law can be Cinderella to entertain the kids. And I have to rent tables and chairs...

You're doomed. Sorry but if you can't serve pasta to a crowd on the cheap ....sigh. Your kids better hope for college scholarships.

 

[EvieBug]

Well if nothing else this discussion has inspired me to pull out my spreadsheet and get back on my money management wagon. So thank you all for that!

 

[usnuzuloose]

I am grateful for what I have. I don't do vacations. But I have a happy home.

 

[Happyinwonerland]

You're doomed. Sorry but if you can't serve pasta to a crowd on the cheap ....sigh. Your kids better hope for college scholarships.

I guess you missed the part where we have a college fund.
And I'm not doing the cooking, no time for it. So yes, even pasta adds up when you're getting it catered.

 

[Happyinwonerland]

I gotta 2nd the advice of thinking of your priorities and how much they are "worth" to you. It's okay to splurge on things you value highly, just like it's okay to skimp on things you value less. I want to add...it's also okay to have a period of life when you save less, especially if you NEED to spend the money (BUT that doesn't mean you spend yourself into debt!) - the grad degree is probably a need right now, and when it's finished, you will have an open $12K/year. Hopefully, if you can make adjustments now (since it sounds like you are underwater when it comes to money in, money out right now...aka, you are spending more than your income and taking on debt) and get to a zero balance, you will be able to put the entire $12K to savings when the degree is finished. That should be your 1st goal. Once you spend only what you make, then you can work further on spending less than you make (and continue to do even better than the $12K per year).

I'm not sure where you got this from. I never said we were taking on debt. I said I had small debt from when I was in college. And a car loan that is 0 % interest with enough liquid cash to pay it off. we are not in the red each month.

 

[Lisaloo]

I guess you missed the part where we have a college fund.
And I'm not doing the cooking, no time for it. So yes, even pasta adds up when you're getting it catered.

I didn't miss that part. A college fund can mean anything. We have 4 college tuitions fully funded. We make multiples of what your salary is and I don't spend nearly that much on a child's party. We aren't out to impress anyone. You asked for advice, not me. It sounds to me that you will live underwater financially or you will mature beyond it. Best wishes.

 

[Happyinwonerland]

Crisi- looking at is as percentages is a good idea, I'be never done that before. When I make budgets it's usually $X here and $X, instead of percentages.

 

[crisi]

Crisi- looking at is as percentages is a good idea, I'be never done that before. When I make budgets it's usually $X here and $X, instead of percentages.

It will likely open up your eyes a lot with some of the bigger expenses, and once you start thinking that way, you'll start seeing the themed cups as a much smaller percentage of the overall budget - and instead of saying "well, its only a few dollars" recognizing that that few dollars, spent over and over again, over the course of a year, is eating into a large percentage of your budget.

Elizabeth Warren (yes, that one) wrote a book with her daughter called "All Your Worth" that is worth finding at a library.

 

[CAFarmerGirl]

I have a similar background, poor growing up but making a fair amount now. I find that money is just a means to an end for me. I don't get too worked up over it and don't worry too much about spending it. Maybe deep down you don't really mind either? Easy come, easy go, right?

However, I do have different priorities. I will drop $10k on a vacation, but not spend that much on a party. We host 4th of July for my family every year and it lasts over 2 days and everyone brings something (I provide all the meat and drinks and some extras). I never spend more than $500 and that is with tritip, wild caught salmon, pulled barbeque pork, and lots of beer. The spending varies depending on the animals we have (some years we serve the animals we butchered). As for birthdays, my kids usually just have a few friends over for their birthday and I will get stuff for ice cream sundaes and make a simple dinner. My kids don't expect or want anything different. I find birthday parties silly, but will host a 2 day party over the 4th of July.

I do find as I am getting older, I am starting to prioritize my money more. Paying down our mortgage early, no debt, etc... Maybe once you start thinking about something specific you really want, your priorities will change? This year we are taking one simple vacation because all of our disposable income went into the house. Last year, we had annual passes to Disneyland and went 4x, usually staying onsite. So, I get what you are saying. I will say that paying extra on the mortgage through automatic bill pay does help. The money is gone before I even see it.

 

[KristinU]

Do yourself a favor and do some calculations on your retirement or other long range planning. Take some time to really analyze and dream about where you want to be and what your goals are, then back up and decide if lifestyle changes now are worth doing so you can achieve your dreams later. Time is going to go by in the blink of an eye.

And I might suggest considering not moving up in home as you suggested in your original post. This is the best thing we've ever not done. We are on our second house because of a relocation, but never moved up from here and are now looking ahead to downsizing when DS is out of the next in a mere 7-8 years. As I said, time flies, and I'm just so happy to have the wiggle room that we do because we never went for a bigger, newer house. We are making 2+ times what we made when we bought our house 15 years ago and are close to mortgage payoff, it is just really nice to have that breathing room (plus we love our neighborhood and neighbors!) As cool as DS thinks a McMansion would be at his age (11), I think ultimately it will be cooler to have a college education without having student loans hanging around his neck when he's done, and parents that won't be asking him for a loan when he's a newlywed (um, yeah, been there, it isn't a pretty scenario)

Party-wise, how about considering a breakfast next year? I was the chairperson for two years for our Cub Scout annual banquet for 100 people and we could pull it off for about $1200. I used colored plates and colored napkins in bulk from Party City, mylar balloons from Dollar Tree, clear plasticware from Costco/BJ's/Sam's and I printed my own napkin rings and place cards to make a nice placesetting. Centerpieces and programs and tablecloths were also inexpensive, but the real savings comes from the meal. We serve pancakes and syrup, breakfast potatoes, scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon, and mixed fruit. Not organic or super fancy, but a nice variety and everyone is always happy. Breakfast is almost always less expensive than a lunch or dinner. Oh, and because the banquet is a celebration of Cub Scouting's birthday and the crossover of the oldest boys, we also do cake. We did sheet cakes in the past, but this past year I bought a huge cupcake stand and did cupcakes with custom picks (which I made with just prints and cardstock) and everyone went nuts over the display. Cupcakes were much easier to serve as well, and really, with cake, it is about the presentation

Personal trainer - any chance you could do some split sessions with another person or two that share similar goals? That might help bring the cost down and give you some motivating friends to work out with! Or could you join some forums with challenges or something to help motivate you and drop the trainer altogether? I know I really get motivated by my running forums and sometimes there are monthly challenges and such that I get involved in. Real life buddies are super motivating as well, and sometimes you'll luck out and get involved enough in the fitness community where you're just friends with trainers and work out every so often with them as friends

 

[ilovebassets]

I didn't miss that part. A college fund can mean anything. We have 4 college tuitions fully funded. We make multiples of what your salary is and I don't spend nearly that much on a child's party. We aren't out to impress anyone. You asked for advice, not me. It sounds to me that you will live underwater financially or you will mature beyond it. Best wishes.

We, too, are fortunate enough to make multiples of what the OP makes and cannot imagine paying $2400 a year for a personal trainer or spending that much on a three year olds party.

Make more or spend less. Those are really your only options.

One last thing. I don't understand how you don't have time to prepare meals or plan a grocery list. Do you work full time? Do you have other children you haven't mentioned that you are responsible for? I cut coupons when I was in residency working 80 hours a week and my husband was in grad school and we had a one year old and a dog. You have to make priorities. If your priority is working with a personal trainer, and you see value in that, great. But you can't say EVERYTHING is a priority and then complain you aren't saving enough. Time is money. Money is time.

 

[greentea]

I think it's hard for people to answer questions like "how can I save more" or "what's a cheap and fun thing for my family to do besides a $300 concert" because we don't know your or your family or what your interests are. So I might say check out local festivals and events, or I can say cut your expenses by reducing the $300 bday gift, but if you feel all of your expenses are necessary, that's your choice. You do what works for you.

But you asked how to save and said you have trouble saying no. You say you buy everything your heart desires and want to change that, but are resisting being told not to buy certain things -- that's the trouble saying no kicking in, because in your mind you can rationalize every expense. I know because I can do this too. I can make any expense sound like a necessity -- and sometimes it is, but it can be hard to tell when you get into that mindset. So do I actually need a new bag because it would be perfect for a trip I'm going on? Sometimes yes, because carrying much weight is difficult for me due to back problems and what I have won't work out. Sometimes no, it would just be nice to have (but I can sure make a good case for why it would be better than what I have).

So I guess my question is, how can we help, specfically? Do you want tips on not making impulse buys that add clutter? Do you want an alternative or cheaper option for specific events? Like when you say $300 concert tickets, are you actually interested in considering a different outing, or do you want to know how to get cheaper tickets for the same event? Both are valid questions, but it's helpful to know what you're looking for! I think the more specific you can be in your savings questions the better.

But you can't say EVERYTHING is a priority and then complain you aren't saving enough. Time is money. Money is time.

This. I know when money was tighter, I spent more time planning cheap meals, clipping coupons, and working on finding cheaper alternatives to everyday expenses. It does take time, which is why I don't use many coupons anymore because having to clip them, keep track of expiration dates, and find the few coupons that were for things we'd actually want to buy... it ate up time. Currently, my time is better used elsewhere. It's a choice. I could focus on that, or I could try to spend more time on my freelance work. Even if that work isn't bringing in much money right now, spending the time on it is more valuable than whatever we would save with coupons.

I don't know if these things will help, but some things I do work on to save money (that don't take a lot of time or mental effort) are:

• Use credit cards with cash back rewards and pay the cards off every month (we use them to buy everything because we prefer it to debit cards). Looking into a travel credit card to get a sign-up bonus for cheaper flights when we go cross-country. Having a couple credit cards doesn't take much extra time or effort and it can help you save (we don't do this, but some cash back rewards can go right to your bank account if you have the credit card through your bank -- Bank of America does this, and some others -- so a percentage of your spending could go right into a savings account, for example).

• Making an Amazon wish list and installing the wishlist button to my browser so I can add items from any website to my wishlist. Then if I want something, I add it and either wait for it to go on sale, decide I really do need it soon and buy it, or delete it from the list at some point if I decide it's not really a necessary purchase. But adding it to the list means I can say okay, I've made a note of this thing I kind of want, and I can think about it. It does help me postpone or avoid purchases while validating the feeling that I want this thing! Wanting things is okay.

• Cut back on gift spending and focus on getting one or two really cool items I put a lot of thought into. Etsy can be great for that, lots of custom items that can be personalized, or just unique handcrafted stuff.

• Checking online for cheaper tickets or coupons before going somewhere (we had a recent trip to the zoo and saved money by getting the tickets online before heading out -- took just a minute to buy and print, and was cheaper than the gate price.

 

[OrangeBirdGirl]

Savings is very tricky because each person has a different amount in the bank that they'd feel comfortable with, to be set aside for an emergency (roof replacement, loss of job, etc). Some people that might be $1,000 and some it might be $100,000. So I think you need to figure out what that goal is for your family. If it's your annual salary then it's not realistic to get that saved in a year but you could have a long range goal. Start with what you want your regular savings account (the emergency fund I guess you'd call it) to be at the end of 2015. Make it realistic and divide that amount by the number of paychecks you have left in 2015 and you will know what you need to start setting aside each week. Make that the priority and go from there. When you get a raise, don't take the money. Put it into your retirement account or if that's maxed out just into your longterm/emergency fund.

I don't think there's anything wrong with spending a grand on your daughter's birthday. If you enjoy that party for her and the memory, go for it as long as you are still able to maintain your regular savings goals. Same with the trainer. I don't think that is any different then going to the salon each month, getting a massage every other week or mani/pedi twice a month.

For us, our three main categories of savings is retirement, emergency/long term savings and vacation. I can't go without travel so that is our priority and I am putting away a good chunk of money into the vacation account each week. So for you an account that is a top priority might include daughter's birthday party. If you split up these large annual expenses over a smaller amount each check it won't seem like such a burden as the party nears and you are spending all that money during one month or taking the money out of your savings account. I keep a regular savings account for some smaller items as I feel once the money goes into my longterm/emergency fund it better not come out unless there is a major emergency. The smaller regular savings account is at $5K and that would cover stuff such as if the central air goes out and needs to be replaced, TV breaks and has to be replaced, etc. I just set it up that way in our budgeting because like I said I feel horribly guilty pulling money out of my longterm savings account. I had to replace my treadmill earlier this year, so I pulled the money out of that regular account, then the top priority was each paycheck to get that regular account back up to it's limit and halt the long term account funding.

We are like you, we don't like being home. But we can't afford to take a weekend trip every week. If you could find something to do in the outdoors near home, that makes for a great day, you get exercise and it is relatively inexpensive. I'm not sure where you live. If near the ocean, snorkel equipment is basically a one time investment then just upgrading as stuff needs replacement (which is years away), then you could snorkel. If you have inland lakes or rives, kayaks are relatively inexpensive. Once the equipment is purchased, you don't have a daily expense to then do the activity. If you live in a cold climate you could buy snowshoes or cross county skies, both of them have very cheap daily passes for the trails (usually a few bucks a person). Hiking is very cheap. It's basically an investment in a good pair of boots and a water bottle or camelback. Or, if you aren't doing strenuous hiking you could do it in shoes you probably already have. We also plan our vacations to be spread out throughout the year. I'm not sure when you are doing to Disney but if you are doing all the trips in the summer, then you have 7-9 months of the year you aren't traveling, and with you not liking to be at home that is a long stretch without a vacation.

I think the biggest way we save money is not by eating out. I'm lucky that I like to cook. I could make us a great crab dinner for probably half the cost of going to Red Lobster and getting so-so crab. But that takes planning, make a list of what you want to get for the week and going to get all the ingredients and spending the time cooking.

Good luck!

 

[FairestOfThemAll37]

OP-it really is about priorities and it's really difficult to change habits if you really don't want to. I've been there. But you have to pick and choose or just be content with your current spending.

I spend an exorbitant amount in certain areas. I hate to cook and am horrible at it. If I have to come up with a meal in advance and shop and cook I end up eating out, which just isn't as healthy every day. I spend close to $900/month for organic/pastured paleo delivery meals. Yes, I realize this is an insane grocery/food budget for one person! But it keeps me sane and healthy and it's something I prioritize.

On the flip-side-
I hardly spend on clothes.

I'm very lucky that I work in a casual office/industry so I don't need a work wardrobe and a non-work wardrobe. Plus I live in a non-winter place so I don't need seasonal clothes save a few odd pieces. I don't buy new bags or shoes really (I'm in flip flops 85% of the time anyway).

I spend a lot of time at home or walking around the lakes in my area with my dog. Go swimming, etc. sometimes I go to the $5 early show at my local movie place on weekends. But if I'm not vacationing I'm usury at home or doing something free on the weekends.

Because I don't have kids, I travel during off seasons and work credit cards and points to have luxury vacations for less money.

There's no way I could afford so much for the few things (aside from bills, etc.) that are really important to me without saying no to other things.