Tips for a 4.5 year Old with developmental delays

[gus's dad]

My wife and I have decided to take our son for his first visit to Disney World in June.

We have been told that he functions at about the level of a 2.5 year when it comes to speech and communication. He is also not potty trained yet.

I was wondering if any of you had any suggestions or tips for us to help him get the most of this trip.

He is a happy little boy and I know that there are things about Disney that he will love and other things, like waiting in lines and maybe being scared of certain attractions that will make him melt down because he doesn't communicate well.

I think that if my wife and I do the right things with him during the trip it may help him to open up a little more and maybe even talk a little better.

Right not he does not form sentences well and can say the name of objects and people but not express his feeling in sentence form.

Any of your suggestions will help out a lot. I just want this to be a positive experience for all of us and a great fun trip for him.

 

[JohnnySharp2]

Hi,

Our son is 13 and autistic, he is non verbal and has severe learning difficulties.

We have been to Florida many times and always had enjoyable holidays.

Over the years his patience and tolerance levels have improved, I actually think it is a good thing to have to queue providing the wait time is reasonable. It will build up your confidence and also that of your child.
For example at Magic Kingdom getting to the park early means you can get on most or all of the rides at the Fantasyland area without excessive wait times.

The big thing is not to set too many targets, just enjoy the vacation, we never know when Joshua will just get upset, majority of times he is fine.
As parents we deal with it as best we can, you are certainly not alone with your worries and I can relate to what you are asking.

 

[bookwormde]

Become knowlegable about WDW, check out the GAC inforamtion in the stickey threads above and just take your time and take your cues from your child. WDW is a magical place for our children, where they often express themselves beyond prior levels so have fun and enjoy the magic.

bookwormde

 

[digiMom]

My daughter was almost non-verbal for a long time. No diagnosis still, other than low muscle tone, hypotonia & sensory intergration issues. She's now 13.

We went to Disney World around her 8th birthday and this is what helped us.

1) Got the trip planning DVD and watched it before we went. Alot. We also went online and looked at pictures and videos. Even of what the ride seats looked like.

2) We brought along earplugs. Many of the rides and restaurants are loud. This took the edge off.

3) We got a GAC card our first day. We went in January and never really had to use it except to get a seat near an exit for some of the shows in case she got scared and we needed to leave. (We didn't)

4) We got a stroller. Everyday. It gave her a safe place and kept her from getting too tired.

5) We took breaks at our Disney resort every lunch time. She rested or watched TV.

6) We asked for a bedrail. (free) Not sure if this applies for you, but without it she definately would have fallen out of bed.

7) We made sure we had some slow days; swimming, etc.

Hope this helps. I'm sure you'll have a great trip!

 

[HollVoll]

We have a child who is nearly 6 with Down syndrome. Cognitively, he is closer to 2 and has major speech delays. We have taken him to Disney for one day at MK (around age 2) and then for a week at a time at age 4 and age 5.

For US, the GAC to use the stroller as a wheelchair has been the best thing. He is able to walk, but has no stamina and when he decides not to walk he collapses and curls into a ball. Not fun with a 40 pound kid with a strong will.

For him, the stroller provides a safe haven. We had a few toys attached (magna doodle and a little Buzz Lightyear phone) and when he was overstimulated he would pull his canopy down and play. It was how he coped. Being able to wait in line in his stroller was a tremendous blessing. When the ride was over he knew where to go and went right back to his happy place.

I will note that here at home he is a major pest in the stroller to the point it isn't worth putting him in one....but (with one exception) he was excellent at Disney in one. I can't promise it will work for you, but it was great for us.

 

[VickiHD]

Hi

Congrats on your vacation!! I know it is stressful and overwhelming but you are getting some great ideas.

Our son who is almost 4 has speech and developmental delays and we actually use Disneyland as therapy for him. We have been doing this over the years. I know DL is much smaller than WDW but I think the suggestions could still be helpful to you.

Find our the locations of the "family or companion" bathrooms are in the parks. They are larger and you can wheel the stroller right in and there should be more room in regards to the changing table.

Our guy knows the park and we have used that as "speech therapy". Looking at maps and naming attractions, characters, and other interesting things has helped him be familiar with his surrounding as well as practing his words. He actually know DL like the back of his hand as well as increasing his vocabulary. Maybe get some maps and talk about what you would like to do or see as a family? This can also help you determine what is of interest & must see and do. Even have a couple extra maps so he can look at them when he wants.

How about getting a guide book with plenty of photos in it? Again, this will help with getting familiar with characters, attractions, etc.

Anyone can get sensory overload in the parks. How about taking a break at the hotel and rest a bit during the day. I would only tackle one park a day since you have to "commute" to the parks.

Character meet and greets; Just try and see how that goes. He might be just as happy seeing Mickey from a far than hugging him. Our little guy loved the characters when he was 3 months, then he didn't want anything to do with them and how he loves them again so it really depends on the child. I will say the Characters in DL are so great and really try and engage the children at their comfort level. I'm sure it similar at WDW.

Maybe find quiet little nooks to rest in the parks. Ask at City Hall or post a online question. We also try and eat at quest restaurants and off times too. This is for my sanity

We use You Tube not only as a reward but also to help him get familiar with a show, fireworks, characters, attraction etc. This has been so helpful. You be surprised what reaction you get when there is a chance to watch Fireworks with Dumbo flying over Sleeping Beauty's Castle.

I guess the most important thing you could do is try and be as prepared as you can and then just let the Disney magic happen.

Hope this helps! Please let us know how your trip goes. Happy Vacation!!!

Vicki

 

[JennyG]

Not sure if you still lay him down to change diapers... but if so.. the baby stations at most of the parks have VERY large, stable, changing areas. I think AK is the only one who uses standard size tables, but all the other parks have the big ones.
Those stations are also a nice cool place to take a quiet break. Most have a tv, microwave, etc...

 

[kirstenb1]

Our dd is 4 1/2 also, with various delays. Like Holly Vol mentioned about the stroller, our dd loves hers when she's in a large crowd. It really is her safe little retreat. We just bought noise-canceling headphones that will also plug into her MP3 player. If your little guy will use one, you could load it up with songs from the rides, etc.

We always have a car handy, whether we drive or fly. There is nothing worse than realizing your child is starting to melt down, and then go stand in line for a bus to go back to the resort.

 

[toodycat]

We've been traveling to WDW with DS who has ASD for 10 years. Here are some of the things we've learned to do for our son. Hopefully, some of them will work for your child,too.

1. Our DS didn't have much in the way of language when we first started visiting. Although he isn't an eloper per se, I was always afraid we would accidentally get separated, so I got some hospital ID bracelets for him to wear and wrote his name, our names, our resort and my cell phone # on them. I told him that if we were separated, he should show a cast member the bracelet. Luckily, we were only separated once and by that time, he could talk, but before that, I felt more secure with the bracelet. Once he was more verbal, we had him carry a walkie-talkie. Then, when he was even bigger, he just had a cell phone.

2. We dressed DS in a different, incredibly bright T-shirt every day. This way, I could always spot him.

3. We didn't try to tour the parks to see everything. Lots of people visit WDW thinking that they need to get the most out of their trip, so they will tour the parks for 10 hours at a time. When my son showed signs of being tired or cranky, we just assumed he was done and went back to the resort. Too much stimulation makes him anxious, so we would leave the parks by 1:30 or 2 and return to the resort for a relaxing swim. If he was sufficiently refreshed, we would return around dinner time when the crowds decrease a little.

4. Because you made need to depart hastily, we made it a habit to either bring a car or stay on the monorail. The last thing you need is a 20 minute wait for a bus with a kid who is too hot, too hungry, too tired, overstimulated or has had an accident.

5. Definitely bring earplugs. Some situations are very loud. Even with earplugs, DS has never sat through all of Fantasmic because of the volume.

6. Show your child videos of the parks on youtube or via the trip planning DVD, so he knows what to expect.

7. Some attractions look like fun but are really too scary for a little one. The Dinosaur attraction at AK was a prime example as was Snow White's Scary Adventures. Also, the Kilamanjero safari story line can be a bit upsetting for a little kid. Believe it or not, the Enchanted Tiki Room even caused a little stress.

8. You may want to model meeting a character a few times, before you ask your child to do it. I remember my son watching me get photographed with Minnie and saying, "Minnie's going to love you, Mom." Soon, he really liked posing with the characters, but now at 16, he is too cool. Character meals are a lot of fun, but they can be loud. We like the Crystal Palace the best.

9. Watching the fireworks is fun, but it is crowded. You may want to watch from the beach at the Poly or Grand Floridian.

10. Sometimes you may want to do the low-pressure or air conditioned things. For example, The Hall of Presidents worked for us last time DS had a little bit of a meltdown from the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. Also, for a little guy, spending a lot of time in Mickey's Toontown can be fun.

Hope this helps. Enjoy your trip.

 

[JohnnySharp2]

Some great tips on this thread.

 

[AprilTwins]

Hi

We first took our twins to WDW when they were 4.5
DD was dx. w/ PDD and DS w/ ASD at the age of 2. DD was mostly non- verbal and still in pull-ups when we went. DS was higher functioning at the time. After 2.5 years of therapy (OT ST and ABA ) six sometimes 7 days a week we decided it was time for a vacation and what better place than disney. It was alittle scary as we did not know how the kids would react but it turned out to be one of the best decisions we ever made.

For DD is was all about the characters. She didn't want to ride the rides, all she wanted to do was hug and take pictures with and get autographs from the characters. This is a little girl who had very poor eye contact , social skills and sensory issues yet she interacted so nicely with these characters. It was very touching. I remember having lunch at CRT and Sleeping Beauty actually sat at our table and drew pictures with DD. It really meant alot
DD did not want to leave the parks. She would have stayed there all day.

DS didn't tolerate long periods of time at the parks I think it was too much stimulation for him. It was nice staying onsite so DH could take him for a swim or back to the room for some down time. This worked out well.

What worked for us:

1. I agree stroller very important

2. Staying onsite for breaks and naps

3. going to the parks early in the morning or evening when it was not as hot and less crowded ( we went off season - shorter lines)

4. Try not to do too much in one day

5. Have fun!!!

We've been back to Disney 2 more times since then and plan on going again in Dec. DS and DD are now 9. They are in the 3rd grade. They still receive some special services but are doing awesome.

Have a great time!!

Chris

 

[ilovepooh]

Ds is exactly the same way. His developmental age is half that of his chronological age due to chromosomal issues. What works for us:

1. Baby Care Centers for diaper changes
2. Stroller for comfort
3. Afternoon nap/break at resort
4. He is nonverbal, but shakes his head yes or no, so for some characters or rides....I'd ask if he wanted to see that character or go on that ride rather than have him freak out when I got too close. He was ok with most rides, but never the characters. So we avoided characters, but I'd still ask first to make sure. He likes to admire them from a distance.

We just take our cues from him. If he seems like he's had enough....we stop. Enjoy your trip!!!

 

[blondietink]

You will be surprised how well your child will tolerate things at WDW when in other setting at home/school he would have meltdowns. thre is just something that kids feel while at WDW that helps them focus and grow. My DS was 8 when he went for the first time and he has classic Autism. His speech was one word utterances at the time and echolalia from various movies. It was amazing when he blurted out "It's Eric, waving you (Goofy) over to say hello." when he saw Goofy for the first time. We were shocked! You will have a great time and I am sure your son will grow somehow during his visit. Good luck!

 

[cogero]

Wow there are some great things here Thanks for the tips

 

[kehlyrsmom]

1) Got the trip planning DVD and watched it before we went. Alot. We also went online and looked at pictures and videos. Even of what the ride seats looked like.

Great idea. As a matter of fact, this continues to be one of my autistic sons favorite DVD's - he watches it nightly.

2) We brought along earplugs. Many of the rides and restaurants are loud. This took the edge off.

I was shocked how loud disney is. (not sure why, but I was really surprised) We ended up getting a pair of over-the-head sound supressors (look like headphones, but are the kind you would wear if you worked all day in a loud environment). They were more comfortable for my son than ear plugs and I just slip them over my camera bag strap and he puts them on whenever he wants them (or if I notice him holding his ears). He wore them on the plane, most rides started with them on and any time he needed a break from the noise.

3) We got a GAC card our first day. We went in January and never really had to use it except to get a seat near an exit for some of the shows in case she got scared and we needed to leave. (We didn't)

We got one of these as well and it really helped with his (and our) adjustment to disney. The crowds, heat and close contact with those around you in line can take its toll on anyone - especially true for those on the spectrum. We got a note from his doctor to get the card from guest relations. Not sure if it was needed, but we never had an issue getting the card with the doctors note.

4) We got a stroller. Everyday. It gave her a safe place and kept her from getting too tired.

This fall will be our first trip to disney where we will not get a stroller (at 8 and 10, the kids are getting physically to large for it). We do not know if we will have to rent a wheelchair or not. (mostly for my daughter who is also on the spectrum, but due to that and medications - just has no endurance at all) - also, don't forget the sunglasses (dark ones).

5) We took breaks at our Disney resort every lunch time. She rested or watched TV.

The heat takes a toll - the few meltdowns we have had at Disney have been our own fault of pushing to hard to see everything and not giving them downtime away from the crowds. (time in the stroller apparently does not count ) After lunch head back to the hotel for downtime and head back for dinner. Don't stay out much longer than they are used to. (if they go to bed around 9:30 - don't try to make the 2am closing)

7) We made sure we had some slow days; swimming, etc.

We did not do this, but should have. We did make sure that any evening we stayed at the park until their bedtime, we took it slow the next morning and headed out when we were ready, not when the rope dropped.

I am sure you will have a great trip. Take your time and enjoy it.

Michael

 

[gus's dad]

Thanks for all of your great tips!! It really helps.

My little guy went to get a haircut last week (which is usually a pretty bad experience) anyway, he hopped right up on the chair. My wife told the stylist that we were going to WDW this June. She then askey my son if he was going to see Mickey Mouse. He said:

"Ya Mickey, I'm gonna see Nemo!"

That turned out to be the best he has ever behaved for a haircut and I couldn't believe that he said that many clear words at once either.

We have been showing him you tube videos of Nemo and friends and the Nemo musical, because of some tips on here and the thinks that they are great.

 

[JennyG]

*HUGS*
I know that feeling exactly!! When our kids get so excited about something, they end up showing us the things we weren't so sure they could do yet. How wonderful and touching at the same time. Congrats on the excellent haircut visit and the many clear words.

 

[MomRN]

We took my 3 1/2 yr old to Disney in March, and while he doesn't have the delays your child does, he has his quirks. Right now GAD with OCD is a possible diagnosis, but for now we are playing it by ear.

1. I suggest planning character meals later in the week, after you have a chance to see how your child will react to the characters in the parks. We had a character lunch the day after arrival... and it did not go well. His first round of character interaction was similar. However, the longer we were there (about day 3 of 6 days) he warmed up to them. Our character dinner= wasted money.
2. Just because he's tall enough to ride, doesn't mean he should. POssibly one of my top 5 worst parenting mistakes was taking my son on TOT and Dinosaur. He loved Soarin, Test Tract, and Thunder... but never should have done those 2. Based on that experience, we didn't do Haunted Mansion or Pirates.
3. Get through the gift shops quickly. Do not browse unless you plan to buy.

 

[JennyG]

1. I suggest planning character meals later in the week, after you have a chance to see how your child will react to the characters in the parks. We had a character lunch the day after arrival... and it did not go well. His first round of character interaction was similar. However, the longer we were there (about day 3 of 6 days) he warmed up to them. Our character dinner= wasted money.
3. Get through the gift shops quickly. Do not browse unless you plan to buy.

Great tips! I think we will take advantage of your advice too... character meals in the later part of our trip and keep gift shops to a min. Enzo is pretty good about not wanting much in the stores.... me on the other hand wants to always buy for him. Although, the last time we took him he was just 1yr.... so he didn't really understand anything. This time we are excited to experience Disney in a way none of us have ever seen it. I am really not sure what he will be frightened of, but we will take baby steps and not worry about riding the rides we have been on many many times before. This trip is for him...

 

[Rekenna]

Wow you guys what awesome tips! And I believe many of these tips are good advice for anyone whether they have a special need or not.

To the OP, our DS2.5 has been to Disney 2x and we are planning our next trip for Nov. He was recently diagnosed with Autism. Like your guy he is very happy and content most of the time. He is pretty easy going, laughs easily and enjoys life-what a gift!

Adam doesn't speak, we get the more sign (all of you doing speech therapy know what I mean!) Of course, Adam still wears diapers and lounges in the stroller.

Take your own cushy, padded stroller. We have stroller fans which are great, they don't bother Adam. He likes having his own space. Adam really likes bubbles, I know these can be really messy, but when he is cranky or bored this automatically brings a smile to his face (he is trying to blow bubbles himself now!) We are true believers of hitting the parks at rope drop, doing what we can, especially Fantasyland, going back to the hotel, take our nap, swim and then go back out and have dinner and more park time.

Adam is usually okay until we try to change what he thinks we are going to do, like going into a restaurant and then walking back out if it is too busy. If we wait outside until they call us he seems to be fine. Adam also will wear a backpack leash which helps alot-he can have the freedom to walk without holding my hand-although in crowds he always holds his hand up to be held-and I don't have to worry about losing him.

I think to on this next trip I am going to take his weighted blanket to have in the hotel room if he needs some safe space-we will probably end up using the pack n play in the room even though he is too big for it, but he likes the confined space.

Adam has 2 big brothers and I've noticed he picks up on more things than I think he does, if they go up to the characters or let the characters touch him or me or dad then he is usually okay with it. Also, Adam likes to chew on things and when he gets excited he wants to bite, his OT gave us a long amount of food grade tubing, we wind it around his stroller/car seat and he has something non-destructive to chew on (instead of his glasses, or biting someone else).

Sorry to go on so long, but as you all know there are just so many facets to Autism and other development delays. Just when I think I am covering all bases something new pops up.

Good luck to you, I hope you guys have a great family vacation, just take your time, let him set the pace and you will create positive, happy memories together.