Tipping overload?

[whiteness]

It’s been awhile since we went to anyplace that did that. Frankly, it always creeped me out. A perfect stranger has no business with their hand that close to my lap.

Yeah, I chose my restaurants according to the quality of the food they serve, not whether they pull my chair out of whatever.

And I would expect my waiter to be knowledgeable about the food just like I am expected to be extremely knowledgeable about the disease state, biochemical pathways and possible interactions between the investigational product and concomitant medications, genetic and health conditions, statistical methodologies and so much more.

It would probably take me half the day to just list all of the things I am simply expected to know in order to do my job: the goal is keeping people alive and healthy. For which I receive no tips. Expecting my waiter to know the ingredients and preparation of the food I am ordering from the limited menu where he or she works is not unreasonable. In case the waiter doesn't know, then just do what I do: research it and/or ask a coworker.

This really just feels like we've created a special category of worker that we need to compensate more than others and give tax subsidies. I didn't feel it is justified or necessary, and nothing that I've read up to this point has convinced me otherwise. It is obvious (to me) that people will continue to keep talking past each other, and few opinions will be shifted. So it is a pointless discussion. No wonder the topic is banned in the Restaurants board.

 

[FreeTime]

Without all your nastiness in your comment understand I was discussing in terms of what is the norm to tip. If you're now tipping more than what you used to normally tip at fine dining with typically having an experience that amounts to more than my local bar and grill I'd be tipping more, food being more expensive (not always the case in our experience) isn't the tipping point no pun intended.

Pulling out your chair then scooting it back, placing your dinner napkin on your lap (often the host though does this), drink recommendations typically considering more of the ingredients ,yeah I can get beer recommendations at a brewpub on the menu but not quite the same. Dress code and ambience may be needed to take note. In one of the Vegas places for example we went to elegant casual attire was required (collared shirts for men no sports apparel or shorts even in the heat (figured you'd like that comment ) and no children under 5 allowed strictly adhered to. The dessert are often carefully plated with an artisan style. Mine had a small amount of edible gold on it at that Vegas place (though that didn't matter to me). The plating though was done in a very clean way and while my local bar and grill can have good dessert it's usually expensive for the quality and slapped on there. At that place the utensils were switched out between our bread service (or if you had gotten apps or a salad) and entree service and again for dessert. Nothing was left to clutter up the table. The several other higher end places we've been too at home or on vacation generally follow the stuff above though more formal dress code (usually an implied dress up a bit more) and no children not necessarily. The place in Vegas wasn't even as high as you can get. One of the places no children period and attire is elegant as in more ball-like.

Generally both types of places people are doing the job assigned to them but we find a tad more on the servers part than they have to for a base tip at a place like that in higher end. And tipping just 20% to account for all the other stuff when I'm being more and more expected to tip for just the bar and grill means I'd be adjusting.

I always understood napkins are placed in your lap for you in fine restaurants due to the lack of manners that people have and they do not put the napkin in their lap.

It’s been awhile since we went to anyplace that did that. Frankly, it always creeped me out. A perfect stranger has no business with their hand that close to my lap.

i always learned they do this when the diner has poor manners and fails to put their own napkin in their lap. Also, when you get up your napkin should go on your chair not on the table. Not on your plate.

 

[dez1978]

I agree that the wages that Cast Members make should converge: workers doing equally skilled and “difficult“ work should be equally compensated. To the extent that some positions currently accepting tip distorts this is a market inefficiency.

Yes, Disney should charge enough to pay their workers. They wouldn’t necessarily have to raise prices as much as a simple calculation suggests, as they might have to lower their margins somewhat, which they could afford to do.

Yes, more taxes might be owed. We negotiate taxes based on many factors including how much they are projected to take in. If the tax base were increased, that would allow lawmakers to either lower rates, improve services or pay down debt. Also, payroll tax is insurance for the worker and also helps protect the future stability of the social security which we all benefit from.

I don't agree that tipped workers in Disney World are deserving of a tax subsidy, and it doesn't make any sense for Florida or Federal taxpayers to give them one. To the extent that tipping also allows Disney restaurants to enjoy higher margins because they avoid paying some tax also makes no sense for taxpayers. As a local taxpayer, I don't agree with this policy. I would prefer that the tax base be as wide as possible, and that the national and international tourists that Disney attracts pay a larger share of taxes than they currently do.

Well at least you admit that you don't really care how paying a set wage vs tips affects the tipped employees. As long as everyone pays more taxes, because that is what is really important. Not the actual employees. Got it. Higher taxes good, employees having more money bad...

 

[kymom99]

I agree that the wages that Cast Members make should converge: workers doing equally skilled and “difficult“ work should be equally compensated. To the extent that some positions currently accepting tip distorts this is a market inefficiency.

Yes, Disney should charge enough to pay their workers. They wouldn’t necessarily have to raise prices as much as a simple calculation suggests, as they might have to lower their margins somewhat, which they could afford to do.

Yes, more taxes might be owed. We negotiate taxes based on many factors including how much they are projected to take in. If the tax base were increased, that would allow lawmakers to either lower rates, improve services or pay down debt. Also, payroll tax is insurance for the worker and also helps protect the future stability of the social security which we all benefit from.

I don't agree that tipped workers in Disney World are deserving of a tax subsidy, and it doesn't make any sense for Florida or Federal taxpayers to give them one. To the extent that tipping also allows Disney restaurants to enjoy higher margins because they avoid paying some tax also makes no sense for taxpayers. As a local taxpayer, I don't agree with this policy. I would prefer that the tax base be as wide as possible, and that the national and international tourists that Disney attracts pay a larger share of taxes than they currently do.

I didn’t think Florida collected income tax at the state level

 

[dez1978]

I didn’t think Florida collected income tax at the state level

They do not for individuals. I only used Disney in my example since it was a Disney board

 

[kymom99]

They do not for individuals. I only used Disney in my example since it was a Disney board

I guess my point was that people in states like Florida who work, take home more of their pay because they do not pay state income tax. I’m just comparing that to my state where more is taken out of our paychecks.

 

[focusondisney]

I always understood napkins are placed in your lap for you in fine restaurants due to the lack of manners that people have and they do not put the napkin in their lap.

i always learned they do this when the diner has poor manners and fails to put their own napkin in their lap. Also, when you get up your napkin should go on your chair not on the table. Not on your plate.

Oh, so it’s insulting as well as creepy. Even better. . But when they do it the instant you sit, you have no time to even reach for the napkin before the person is grabbing it. But still no, a perfect stranger doesn’t get to decide how quickly I need to cover my lap or invade my personal space like that.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

It’s been awhile since we went to anyplace that did that. Frankly, it always creeped me out. A perfect stranger has no business with their hand that close to my lap.

Fair enough..

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I always understood napkins are placed in your lap for you in fine restaurants due to the lack of manners that people have and they do not put the napkin in their lap.

I mean I guess if that's how you feel but as far as I can find that has nothing to do with it. Perhaps an old wives tale told to you (maybe something to encourage you??)

 

[shh]

It is obvious (to me) that people will continue to keep talking past each other, and few opinions will be shifted. So it is a pointless discussion.

lol. You've just described every social media discussion ever.
Too many times, I've wasted precious life hours reading and responding to things and seriously doubt anything I or anyone else posted never made any difference. Trying to get better at that - but here I am posting again!

 

[RedAngie]

I always understood napkins are placed in your lap for you in fine restaurants due to the lack of manners that people have and they do not put the napkin in their lap.

i always learned they do this when the diner has poor manners and fails to put their own napkin in their lap. Also, when you get up your napkin should go on your chair not on the table. Not on your plate.

Lack of manners??? A restaurant is supposed to make paying guests feel welcome and comfortable, not castigate then over outdated and stuffy etiquette.

If any server presumed to place the napkin on my lap they’d get a severe lecture about inappropriate behavior in addition to being stiffed on the tip.

I’d have no inhibitions about causing a scene.

<<I>> will place the napkin on my lap when <<I>> am damn good and ready.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Oh, so it’s insulting as well as creepy. Even better. . But when they do it the instant you sit, you have no time to even reach for the napkin before the person is grabbing it. But still no, a perfect stranger doesn’t get to decide how quickly I need to cover my lap or invade my personal space like that.

In all honesty what you have an issue with isn't even on my radar to get miffed about. I guess I'm less finicky about that detail. A split second of that is hardly worth getting my ire up.

I found the person crowding my space with his hand behind my chair at a high top during the height of covid to be far creepier and invading of my personal space. While I understand the warmth and friendliness some servers exhibit at some more casual places I find plopping down next to me or crowding the table to chit chat to be more off-putting though I admit if we're with my mother-in-law she encourages that by getting to know all these servers (who to be frank don't always think as highly of her as she thinks they do).

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

So it is a pointless discussion.

Perfect! So pointless discussion would mean no more discussing from you. Got it

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

If any server presumed to place the napkin on my lap they’d get a severe lecture about inappropriate behavior in addition to being stiffed on the tip.

I’d have no inhibitions about causing a scene.

Ooohhh I sense a viral clip on the horizon

**jokingly said

 

[RedAngie]

Ooohhh I sense a viral clip on the horizon

**jokingly said

Maybe I should intentionally start something while DH records and posts it.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Maybe I should intentionally start something while DH records and posts it.

If you do you must share it! Although I suggest creating an alt account Something else needs to take over in the viral world than the present Frontier flight that had to be deplaned to kick people off

 

[focusondisney]

In all honesty what you have an issue with isn't even on my radar to get miffed about. I guess I'm less finicky about that detail. A split second of that is hardly worth getting my ire up.

I’m not miffed or ire’s up about it at all. Like I said, I haven’t been to a place that did it in years. But I don’t find that someone placing my napkin on my lap is high class or makes the server worthy of a bigger tip. My DH & I are low maintenance. We know what we like & don’t need menu or drink recommendations. Our biggest need is usually keeping our water glasses & sodas refilled. And that is a normal part of serving. Not anything that warrants a 30% tip because it’s being done in a fine dining establishment.

Edit to add: I agree about overly friendly servers too. I’m there to eat, I’m not looking to make friends with the employees. And invading personal space is creepy no matter how or who.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I’m not miffed or ire’s up about it at all. Like I said, I haven’t been to a place that did it in years. But I don’t find that someone placing my napkin on my lap is high class or makes the server worthy of a bigger tip. My DH & I are low maintenance. We know what we like & don’t need menu or drink recommendations. Our biggest need is usually keeping our water glasses & sodas refilled. And that is a normal part of serving. Not anything that warrants a 30% tip because it’s being done in a fine dining establishment.

I was just responding to you finding it creepy and then your subsequent comment. It was, personally speaking, more thought into a split second action than I have ever given it nor ever will give it and I never have assigned what emotions people have had over it. It quite frankly just doesn't become a thought to even ponder a negativity towards an action the staff have made. There's not a huge amount of things servers or hosts can do that get my husband and I even commenting negatively about it, but that's just us. But everyone has details that they grasp onto so fair enough on that.

 

[RedAngie]

If you do you must share it! Although I suggest creating an alt account Something else needs to take over in the viral world than the present Frontier flight that had to be deplaned to kick people off

Unfortunately it’s unlikely to happen in a restaurant. I don’t patronize “Fine Dining” establishments, more so that I wouldn’t feel comfortable there rather than because of prices or higher expected tips.

I don’t like being fussed over and I don’t want to unintentionally commit a faux pas.

I might find a perfect opportunity elsewhere. I’ll try flying Spirit in the future.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Edit to add: I agree about overly friendly servers too. I’m there to eat, I’m not looking to make friends with the employees. And invading personal space is creepy no matter how or who.

I agree on that. I am a friendly midwesterner with tons of "thank you" and "please" and "if you don't mind" and "whenever you have a chance" but there can become an awkwardness if things get a bit too close in relationships like pulling out the chair and sitting there taking our order or even if I know your life story by the end of the meal. You'll still get my respect without those