Thoughts On Wedding Invite

[luvmy3]

I would flat out call and ask either the mom or the bride about it, I wouldn't make an issue of it, just matter of factly ask if the children were included, by the way age 18 is not a child to me and by the time a child is 14 they should know how to act at a wedding so what could the problem be???? Maybe the food for the reception, if that's the case tell the bride that you all will attend the wedding but then your children could either leave or all of you leave at that point. Sounds like a food budgeting problem to me?????

Doing that would be making an issue out of it, making the OP look like one of those guests. She already knows her children weren't invited and calling the bride or mom to ask about it will put them, and the OP in a very awkward position.
OP, I agree with the other posters who said that they probably didn't feel it was fair to invite your 18 year old and not your 15 year old. It so hard when you have a limited budget, or space to figure out who can come and who can't. Maybe they just thought not inviting either of your kids would be more fair to them than only inviting one.

 

[Christine]

Doing that would be making an issue out of it, making the OP look like one of those guests. She already knows her children weren't invited and calling the bride or mom to ask about it will put them, and the OP in a very awkward position.
OP, I agree with the other posters who said that they probably didn't feel it was fair to invite your 18 year old and not your 15 year old. It so hard when you have a limited budget, or space to figure out who can come and who can't. Maybe they just thought not inviting either of your kids would be more fair to them than only inviting one.

Thanks! I'm sure that's what it is, though, it would have been a good thing if maybe my aunt had just asked me how the best way to handle that situation was. For instance, my DD (the 18 y/o) REALLY, REALLY wants to go. She was even going to come home from her beloved college (which she hasn't left yet!!) to attend. My son could care less. He would not have been upset if his sister had been invited and he hadn't. Especially when I could easily explain it as an age restriction.

For me, it's just all about family (and probably not at all what the bride is concerned about at this point). I am an only child and I grew up very closely with all my cousins. To me, they are like my siblings. As we have gotten older, of course, we've all become more spread out and distant and we don't see each other much at all. I always like for my kids to come to these family events because they get to see a side of the family that rarely happens anymore. For me, I just wanted them to be there to get to know their family more.

But I just would not even dream about calling and asking. I'd be mortified.

 

[a1tinkfans]

Why would you think I'm not moving on? I stated that I'm not making a deal about. Just confused about how it was done. I'm not even having a "battle". Nothing to pick. Why do some people on this board always try to make posters seem like their having fits about something when they are just posting a question?

Boredom????,


I agree with you, a little puzzling as to who was/not invited. Could be so many different things including, not realizing ages, etc.....Well, I hope you enjoy yourself at the wedding!.

 

[disneystacy]

I think the bride and groom did not want to break up the family by inviting the 18 yo and not the 14yo. I probably would have done the same thing and not invited either, although I probably would have explained to you why.

 

[terri01p]

Well...I'm not going to call. I think there was no oversight and I think when you get an invite you just should honor what the party throwers have intended. I think calling them just puts them in a very uncomfortable position and I wouldn't even want them to capitulate because they perceived I was forcing the issue.

Well done and done, problem solved move on people nothing to see here.

 

[bumbershoot]

Well...I'm not going to call. I think there was no oversight and I think when you get an invite you just should honor what the party throwers have intended.

Just throwing something else out there...how were the other younger cousins invited? Did they get their own invitations? Or were they named on the invite (inner or even outer)? Was it *obvious* that they were invited?

If there was anything vague in the difference, I'd think about calling in the most breezy, casual, just making sure, style.

I had a friend send out invites; she and I were engaged at the same time (though I had to postpone), I was a b'maid, then fiance and I were living together...she sent it in ONLY my name. I asked the other b'maids, they didn't get "and guest". I agonized if fiance was invited (this was a wedding I would have to travel for, it was important to know if he was invited).

Finally I called, feeling VERY uncomfortable, and she told me that of course he was invited, but they just weren't that formal about the invitations (huge Catholic wedding with mass, country club wedding...everything ELSE about the wedding was formal) and it was implied b/c I had a fiance. Well...OK...not sure how I could have gotten that, but thanks!

If I hadn't called and just went with what the invitation said and didn't say, she would have wondered where on earth he was!

 

[Handbag Lady]

I'm not going to do anything about it. It is the choice of the bride and groom and I will honor that and not even mention it to them.

Best decision, ever.


No matter how odd it all seems, it is their choice on who to invite and your choice on whether to accept or not.

I do like the idea of having your son go just to stay in the hotel. Are there other family members who might be in the same boat? All of the under 18's (and your 18 year-old) can go and do a hang-out in your hotel room and play cards, video games, etc.

 

[PaulaSue]

For me the cut off was 18 but I wouldn't invite one DC in the same family (your 18 and 15 yr olds) and not the others. Maybe that is what she was thinking.

 

[CoP Luv]

Good idea not calling.

I was a bride last year and we had a no children policy (including 'children' who were of mature age). If we invited everyone in my family that was 18 and over we would have had close to 400 people invited (we invited 320). We had to make the cut-off somewhere. It may not have been totally clear to those not invited, but it was our choice. It was completely awkward when someone would call me and demand why they didn't get an invite.

ETA - OP I wasn't saying that you would be one to demand an invite for your kids...that's just the situation we were put in last year. Dealing with a wedding guest list was the worst part of wedding planning.

 

[Christine]

For me the cut off was 18 but I wouldn't invite one DC in the same family (your 18 and 15 yr olds) and not the others. Maybe that is what she was thinking.

I think you're probably spot on; however, we would have preferred that they just invite DD18. It's easy enough to explain to DS that he can't go due to age limits (he doesn't care anyway). DD18 would love to go and now she can't because she has a younger brother?

 

[Boxley]

Well,if worse comes to worse, maybe you can leave the fifteen year old at the hotel? Maybe he could order a pizza and watch some movies, he might enjoy it.