Those interested in an update on the Teacher Saga...

[minmate]

...this is the continuing saga of my (according to many here) over-reaction to my dd's inferior kindergarten teacher.... (NO, I did not call her that to her face). Just as the principal suggested he'd do, the school social worker called on Monday. The principal hadn't given her much detail about the situation so basically I had to start from scratch in relaying my feelings/thoughts/etc. I tried to be tactful and ultimately just said I was not happy with the experience she is getting both by controllable and uncontrollable circumstances on behalf of the teacher. I told her I was gravely disappointed and that after a lot of reflection, I really didn't even know what the next step was because now, I'm just kicking myself for making the major move to Minnesota b/c the kids are NOT benefitting... which giving them a better quality of life (which includes their education) was part of the equation. I felt like I'd made a mistake. Like, I'd believed all the stuff I read on paper about the school, but in reality, it's not delivering what I'd thought it would.

The social worker said that I should definitely not be feeling uncomfortable about my dd's school experience and that if I felt there were issues in the classroom that should be considered and respected. She offered to talk to the principal about possibly switching my dd to the other teacher's class. I then told her I was pretty concerned about what the outcome of that would be. As my dd is shy (which I don't call her to her face) -- it is hard for her to make friends and she's established some friendships in the other class and while there is very little structure in her teacher's classroom, she identifies her teacher as a familiar face in school. We agreed that I should observe the other class first to determine if there really is enough of a difference to make a switch, and if there is -- then consider it -- if there isn't, I'm not sure what else to consider except for sticking it out or changing schools.

Well, she said she didn't even know if it was an option and she'd talk to the principal about it. DD was in school Monday and at home today. Tonight, after the PTO mtg., the principal was very nice to me (didn't avoid me at all). I had to leave the mtg early and the principal got up and came after me. Our conversation was basically a repeat of the one with the social worker. He offered to let me switch my dd if I was still unhappy. He is going to check with the other teacher about observing the class to see if it is different enough or structured in a more beneficial way to dd's needs. So I'm supposed to stop by and see him tomorrow when I pick up my kids to see what's the next step.

With that said, I really don't know what to do b/c I know either way, dd got dealt a crap hand here -- either stay with a teacher who doesn't really teach her anything new and doesn't provide her even with an opportunity to learn structure and organization and proper classroom expectations, yet where she's made some friends... or pull her out of that and expect her to step into a classroom of kids who have already been together for a month (ok, only 16 days in actual school) --
what to do?

 

[the kabuki]

Without knowing what goes on in the other classroom, for me I'd stick it out with the teacher she has and it will be up to you to supplement her education by doing extra work at home. Maybe some enrichment classes, trips to museums , etc.

DS8 has a teacher this year that I quite honestly don't care for. My daughter had her and I just felt it was a wasted year and I see that things have not really changed. It seems as if she's teaching down to the slowest learners in the class. DS isn't challenged in her class, neither was DD.

Do I wish I could switch him? Yes, but after having kids in public schools for the last 9 years, I've found you're not going to like every teacher. Just like you're not going to care for every boss you may have but you learn to deal with it.

Just supplement her education at home the best you can, and talk to other parents' about the 1st grade teachers in regards to next year. Hopefully you'll be able to put in some sort of request then.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

I would leave her. She has had enough change in her life. Let her adjust.

 

[golfgal]

Why is a social worker involved?

 

[Cindy B]

Its kindergarten. In some states, kindergarten is considered an optional grade.

You will have teachers you won't like throughout your childs academic career. You will not agree with teachers learning style, or approach. I have taught my kids that you just need to do your best.

For example, my son is tested as gifted. He is in gifted class, and was in the higher level classes last year. (public school 4th grade). Imagine my suprise as an incoming 5th grader, I find him in the lowest level math class! Yes, he is tested high level math, and was in high level math last year. His standardized scores also state high level math. 5th grade is when they switch classes for core subjects. Apparently, in his 5th grade, there were too many high level kids so only 24 got in the high level math class, and the other 15 or so just got put in a random math class. My son got placed in a math class where he is BORED to death. He was bored by the 2nd day of school. I have been emailing teachers, princicpals and such for a solid two months regarding this.

I have told my son, do your best. Ask for harder work and harder problems. Tell the teahcer you need harder problems. He consistently gets A's without an issue.

Trust me, I enrich him at home.

If I can't get switched out due to class enrollment, I told the principal I want him to be recommended for higer math in middle school no questions asked.

 

[grlpwrd]

I went back to read your trip report trying to get some insight and noticed you have 4 kids, the eldest being 6 back in April. Is she the student being discussed?

Like I stated in my earlier post on the other thread I think part of it could be because she was in preschool for 3 years prior and because I had a feeling she was your first in public school. So are you talking about your eldest?

I wouldn't exactly say to back off and that you're overreacting because you are her best advocate. I enrich at home, too, as I think no school system will fulfill all my kids' needs. BTW I have 3 school-aged dd's and they are in gifted programs here in Virginia. I am very demanding with their school yet I know that I can't expect perfection. I am also known as "one of those parents" yet I know when to back off.

16 days into kindergarten? It's not Harvard. lol

I'd like to know, too, why a social worker is involved.

GL!

 

[CheshireVal]

It's KINDERGARTEN. How can a kid be "dealt a crap hand" in kindergarten?

Chill.

 

[Spinning]

I have no idea what to say but something just doesn't sound right to me at all. If this teacher is so horrible how are all the other parents in the class room dealing with it? I can't believe no one else is complaining or not at least yacking to the other parents.
There are great teachers and sorry to say poor teachers. But there are also wonderful teachers who get a bad rap and don't deserve it.
Right now my son is in second grade. I can't say I adore his teacher or even care for a lot of her teaching style. But guess what my son loves her and is doing great. She had mixed reviews. Over the summer I heard all kinds of stories about how horrible she was, but in fact it is a perfect match for my son.
In kindergarten the teacher is dealing with kids from all ranges....those who have been in day care and preschool since 6 weeks, some who went to 1 year of preschool and then of course those who have never even been in any type of structured classroom.
I personally feel (I read the other post) that if you feel your child is gifted and so advanced you then need to have her tested and then have something to go with. Plus you say your DD is shy. Well maybe she isn't showing the teacher what she is able to do. That does happen.

 

[lisajl]

Umm...welcome to the real world of the Public School system.

I can't tell you how many problems we have had. It has been a mess up until this year. Thank God for looping classes for my 6th grader.
His 4th grade teacher was a menace and I won't go into it here.
Suffice it to say, when she sees me, she turns the other way.

Listen, we can't tell you what to do for your child. You have to make that decision. Just please think of her and how she would feel if you moved her out of that room.

BTW, you will henceforth and forever more be known as a troublemaker.
Am I kidding, no. My nephews went to the same school as my kids and my sister had trouble with the kindergarten teacher with them. When I started talking about my sister (my nephews are much older), the teacher remembered her and lost a bit of her color. It was fun to watch!

I am not knocking teachers, there are soooo many great teachers out there, but teachers need to realize the power and influence they hold.
When you tell a child they are worthless, you have lost them forever.

Good luck to you and your DD.

Lisa

 

[sue1013]

I think your statement that you are kicking yourself for making the move explains most of your problems. Your DD is only in kindergarten!! You haven't given your families move enough time to really give things a chance. You keep saying your DD has a problem with change sounds like you also are having problems but don't see it. I'm not saying change is easy but you made the decision so it couldn't have been so great where you moved from. Calm down and give it time.

 

[vettechick99]

I think these two quotes say it all.

I'm just kicking myself for making the major move to Minnesota ... I felt like I'd made a mistake.

You feel guilty for the move, especially since the education is not up to your preferred level (although your experience is only with this ONE teacher).

I then told her I was pretty concerned about what the outcome of [moving classes] would be. As my dd is shy (which I don't call her to her face) -- it is hard for her to make friends and she's established some friendships in the other class and while there is very little structure in her teacher's classroom, she identifies her teacher as a familiar face in school.

Here is your solution! Leave her where she is -- she is obviously HAPPY there with her friends and the teacher. To move her now would only compound her social issues. It's a lot harder to make friends once little cliques have formed.

Since you are concerned about her learning, supplement her education at home. And make good with the teacher if you haven't already. An meaningful apology and even a small gift might do the trick.

 

[dianeschlicht]

I remember reading your original post, but I don't remember if you said which school district it was in. Minnesota has always had a good public school record, but there certainly are districts that are better than others. If this child is already 6, she might be a year or more older than the other Kindergarten students. Is she mature for her age, or does she need to learn more social interaction? We had a DD who was reading at a 4th grade level by kindergarten, but she certainly needed the social skills kindergarten provided.

 

[poohandwendy]

what to do?

My opinion? For goodness sakes, relax and give all of it a fair chance. It has been 16 school days into the year? I think you really need to chill out and step back from the situation. Your DD is not in immediate or long term danger of anything, so why the rabid approach to all of this?

 

[Sandy V.]

My opinion? For goodness sakes, relax and give all of it a fair chance. It has been 16 school days into the year? I think you really need to chill out and step back from the situation. Your DD is not in immediate or long term danger of anything, so why the rabid approach to all of this?

I agree completely. "Rabid" is an understatement.

P.S. I don't mean this in a negative way, but I really think you ought to consider homeschooling, because if you get this bent out of shape over (what I see to be) trivial stuff like this, you will rarely be happy with a public school for the rest of ALL of your children's educations.

 

[damo]

I think your reaction is very understandable. It is your first child in school. However, in the big scheme of things, as long as she is happy, I would just leave her where she is. She is going to come across many different teachers with many different styles and what they actually teach in kindergarten isn't really going to have a huge impact.

 

[Marseeya]

I agree with the others and I think you need to step back and listen to what everyone seems to be saying.

Good luck!

 

[DisneyDotty]

I can sympathize with all you've been through. Kindergarten should be a magical year for kids--where they learn to love learning, and feel welcome and warm and comfortable in schools (gotta get used to it--lots of years ahead of them!) That said, our first experience w/ public school kindergarten was not the "warm fuzzy, happy place" we had hoped for. But you know what--Our daughter LOVED it.
Over the years our kids have had some excellent (as in "Can I take you home with me and/or can my kid have you for the rest of her life?") teachers and some eh, not so good ones. I agree with other posters--the variety of adults our kids are exposed to provides an excellent real-world learning opportunity. You do NOT want to insist that your child is always in the "good" teacher's class (and what is "good", anyway? Your opinion may be different from mine.) However, you do want to be sure your child is learning and thriving wherever she is. Sounds like you truly believe she isn't in her current situation. Given that she is adjusting to a move, I'm not sure I would change her class now. However, make sure you're giving her everything at home that she's not getting at school. I really think she will be okay. You are her first and ultimate teacher.
Sorry for the lecture. I really do sympathize with your plight. But you need to feel confident that your dd will get through this (probably better than you! )

 

[RadioNate]

drama much? now you have the social worker involved?

You, yes YOU, obviously have issues with your move. Your DD has told you that she likes her teacher and that she is happy at school yet you seem so insistant that she is suffering long term emotional and acedemic damage because this teacher doesn't conform to your nearly unatainable standards.

SHe had sevearal years in preschool. What about the students who didn't go to preschool. They are learning new things. Kindergarten is about reinforcement and learning about going to school. I'll ask again, is it even required in MN? There are kids in her class that have never been in a classroom, the teacher has to teach them too!

 

[frndshpcptn]

I had my class switched in 2nd grade. In my elementary school system - each class was taught at a certain level - the "smarter kids" all had one teacher - then the middle level - then the lower level. Maybe you can find out if that's somewhat how it is structured in your school? I had just moved to a new school, so they didn't know where to place me at first...once they realized I was above grade level they switched me into the advanced class...

 

[minmate]

Well, I'm terribly confused as to why at the end of my last post, several people SUGGESTED switching teachers, yet here, everyone says NOT to. How contradictory is that? Right now, I'm not looking to get more lectures on how I'm "That parent" -- my main concern is trying to figure out which is more important, a classroom that will provide education and structure but is a new class and teacher for dd or a chaotic classroom, where she will not make an advances within the 6+ hours there educationally but she is familiar with the kids and teacher.

There are only two parents I've talked to out of dozens, that have said positive things about this teacher. And all they could say positive is that she is Very Nice. The remarks about her are in stark contrast to the positive comments about the other teacher... especially about her ability to teach more and provide more structure for the kids.

I don't necessarily know why the social worker is involved either. The principal suggested it wondering if she could help my dd with her adjustment to school. However, the social worker didn't feel the need to speak with my dd personally... PLUS, we are already dealing with professionals for her anxiety and sensory issues.... these are the two things that make me most concerned about the long-term effects on my dd.

I am onboard with the idea that kids won't always get "great" teachers or be in the ideal classroom. And to demand that IS unrealistic, in any group school setting. However, my dd is still young and I strongly feel that THIS IS NOT THE TIME to throw her to the wolves without any defenses. Once she's more well-adjusted to the new town, house (which we haven't even moved into yet), and routines... once we've developed some everyday coping strategies (with the help of professionals) that prove to work with the test of time. Once she's had a chance to emotionally settle down and organize herself, then I won't feel so protective about her well-being. She has to work harder to cope and to deal with chaos than the average kid. It overwhelms and depletes her emotionally, much quicker than the average kid. And her breakdowns are much more intense and scary than the average kids. And that's what we're experiencing on the days she goes to school. Once she has learned how to deal with these things, then I won't be so quick to jump in and "do things my way." Of course, I want her to learn how to deal with all kinds of people and authority figures. But I really don't think she is ready for something this loose right now. Right now, more than anything she needs stability and routine and structure.

Plus, I don't buy into the fact that "it's just kindergarten" or that accepting mediocrity is okay. At least not without trying my best to explore the options and remedy the situation. To me, that's just a rationalization for taking the easy way out... I didn't expect that my life would be worry-free once I sent them off to school. If my kids are unhappy... that IS my business... and yes, my dd likes her teacher... likes some of the kids in the class... but does NOT like going to school and at her age can't express on her own why. It's my job to help figure that out... which is what I've been trying to do. She is not my first child in school either. My older dd has a wonderful teacher, whom I compliment all the time. I have sent her thank you notes for working so hard via email and copied them to the principal. I don't know EVERYTHING that goes on in her classroom, but I can tell by my dd, her friends, and from the time I have been in the class, that she is great. I also know that many of the kids in the lower reading groups came from this K teacher's class while most of the higher leveled readers come from the other teacher's class... does that say something revealing to you? It does to me!

When I have told people who my dd has for Kindergarten, at least three times I've gotten the reply, "Ohhhh... well, when my upcoming child goes to Kindergarten, I'm telling the school that if my dd/ds gets her I am not sending them to this school!"

Many of the kids parents in this class have not been in the classroom and those that have, have had concerns about some things too.

Not to mention, regardless of how long this teacher has taught, she is going through a challenging time herself which may or may not make this year even more chaotic in her classroom. Her home caught on fire this summer and her family is displaced for another 3-4 months while they rebuild. My guess is her mind is not as focused on her teaching this year. While I feel badly for her plight, I am not sympathetic to the point of sacrificing the best interest of my child.

I guess you are free to post what you wish, but my biggest concern is balancing the pros and cons of actually switching my dd -- NOT whether or not I'm over-reacting or being a b@tch about this.