This is new to me! "Reducing" twins...

[phorsenuf]

I see this going the way of the Chinese. Selective children. Don't want a girl, abort. Don't want a boy, abort. This is a very slippery slope.

 

[Beachbumpirates]

Well I must be a real dummy. I thought the title of this thread was referring to a breast reduction until I stopped to read it. TOTALLY different subject, wow. Where I come from we refer to our you know whats at "The twins".

 

[RitaE]

I will never be in favor of criminalizing abortion. Legality and morality are not the same thing however.

I think these people are 100% immoral.

 

[cherbear]

Wow. I agree with wanting to punch the mother in the face.


But I had to think about it. I think abortion should remain legal for varied and many reasons, but birth control isn't one of them. My gut tells me this couple shouldn't have the second child. If two more would be a burden on their lifestyle, wouldn't one ALSO be a burden?

Sounds to me like it would/will be

Not everything needs to be a conversation with the kids. Some things are private between a couple and their Doctor.

With our youngest we had IVF. Before we started treatment we went over with the doctors what our intentions were on different situations (i.e. multiples, left over embryos etc...) One of the decisions that we made was that any left over embryos we wanted donated to a couple that needed them. I heard another woman, while we were in the waiting room, mention that she wanted her left over embryos disposed of, under supervision. I guess she was afraid they'd be sold/donated without her consent. Our first try ended in m/c, so instead of donating the left over embryos we used them for a 2nd attempt. I've never felt the need to share with my 11 year old that he spent 6 months on ice in a lab or that if the previous pregnancy had been successful he would be living with another family right now. The only thing he knows about it, is that DH and I had to work very hard and spend a lot of money to have him, and it was worth all the work & money. As a matter of fact it's the best money I ever spent.

Amen! I think it's wonderful that you were going to donate your leftover embryos. I would do the same. A very good friend of mine is undergoing IVF soon with donated embryos because she does not produce eggs and when I tried to donate mine (shared cycle), neither of us got pregnant

Yes, you're reading that wrong.

She initially couldn't find an ob gyn in Canada to do the procedure. She THOUGHT she'd have to go the US and pay out of pocket for it. Then she found a Canadian doctor who would do it after all at Sunnybrook hospital in Toronto, Canada. So it was covered by Canadian health care (also called medicare).

REGARDLESS of whether it was US or Canadian healthcare...umm, WHY THE HE** was this procedure covered by ANY taxpayers' dollars???

As someone who has been through 2 years of infertility(and counting), I would have paid THEM 8 grand and adopted their baby. Lots cheaper than adoption or IVF and less heartache. It pains me to hear stories like this.

 

[fitzy819]

It's the same thing as abortion. Surely you've heard of that before.

A woman "decides" she doesn't want/need/can't afford/whatever a child. In this case, a woman "decides" she doesn't want/need/can't afford/whatever multiple children.

Same process, different circumstances.

Interesting. Nothing I cam imagine ever doing myself.

But hey, I haven´t wanted an abortion for myself either, but I´m all for them being legal. So I guess that should go for this too!

I feel the same way. This is the same as abortion, but just aborting one fetus instead of the whole pregnancy. Abortion is not something I would choose but I'm not going to pass judgment on anyone that decides that abortion is the right decision for them.

 

[DWGal210]

I don't think she used fertility treatment, but got pregnant with twins naturally. I know the older you get, the higher the risk for having twins

Thanks for the clarification - you're right, the instances of mutiples do go up.

 

[DWGal210]

I'm sorry, i guess I've offended you. Didn't mean to - and yes, I have looked into adoption. I'm actually in the process of deciding if I want to adopt as a single parent.

really you're going to use the just adopt argument.

Have you ever looked into adoption? I have. Its not like you can walk down to your local orphanage and get a kid like you get a puppy. Even if you are open to all races, don't need an infant and are willing to take a child with disabilities it can take years and thousands of dollars to adopt. I can pay for 3-4 IVF cycles for the same cost and trying to adopt privately either internationally or domestically. Adopting out of foster care is a whole separate animal. The cost in dollars is small but the emotional cost is exponentially higher. The children in foster care are not always "free" to be adopted so you can spend months or even years caring for a child in hopes of adopting only to have to give him up.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

I find this story very sad, but it's between her and her partner. Personally, I could never do that.

 

[Kat77]

I see this going the way of the Chinese. Selective children. Don't want a girl, abort. Don't want a boy, abort. This is a very slippery slope.

This was my thought too. I'm suprised it took three pages to get there!

I'm an adoptive mother. I'm so thankful my children are here today. They are very much loved. That is all I will say about that.

 

[kelleyrn2000]

Selective reduction is actually more common than we realize. In my field, it is not that unusual to hear of, although I refuse to work at a place that performs this procedure. It is done from the embryo stage (IVF, preimplantation genetics, etc.) all the way to the age of viability. Sometimes we see twins with a disorder called TTTS, and the patients choose to terminate one of the twins to save the life of the other, rather than risk both dying in utero. It is also offered to higher order multiples. However, even twin pregnancies carry a greater risk to moms/babies than a singleton pregnancy, and some moms have chosen to reduce to a singleton for that reason. Not something I think I could ever do (and I don't think I would stand a chance of carrying twins based on my pregnancy history), but thankfully I never had a twin pregnancy!

 

[Magpie]

I feel the same way. This is the same as abortion, but just aborting one fetus instead of the whole pregnancy. Abortion is not something I would choose but I'm not going to pass judgment on anyone that decides that abortion is the right decision for them.

We pass judgement all the time about things.

I don't think abortion should be illegal. I don't think selective reduction of healthy twins should be illegal, if you can find a doctor to do it.

But I reserve the right to say reducing healthy twins for lifestyle reasons is immoral.

It's like stuffing your all child support money into an exotic dancer's g-string - not illegal, but hardly anyone would say it's moral. Not the stripping - the way you're spending your kids' money.

 

[RitaE]

Selective reduction is actually more common than we realize. In my field, it is not that unusual to hear of, although I refuse to work at a place that performs this procedure. It is done from the embryo stage (IVF, preimplantation genetics, etc.) all the way to the age of viability. Sometimes we see twins with a disorder called TTTS, and the patients choose to terminate one of the twins to save the life of the other, rather than risk both dying in utero. It is also offered to higher order multiples. However, even twin pregnancies carry a greater risk to moms/babies than a singleton pregnancy, and some moms have chosen to reduce to a singleton for that reason. Not something I think I could ever do (and I don't think I would stand a chance of carrying twins based on my pregnancy history), but thankfully I never had a twin pregnancy!

But those are all reasons far more understandable than "My husband and I have busy careers and having to take care of two babies would interfere with our importance."

Health reasons and danger to the Mother or other children are one of those situations you pray you never have to face and you can't even imagine having to make the choice. Rock and a hard place.

Making the decision to get pregnant is a little more serious than placing your order at the Olive Garden and sending the plate back if they get it wrong.

 

[Magic Mom]

It's her choice, and it's my choice to think they are more than disgusting for making that choice.

 

[mjkacmom]

We pass judgement all the time about things.

I don't think abortion should be illegal. I don't think selective reduction of healthy twins should be illegal, if you can find a doctor to do it.

But I reserve the right to say reducing healthy twins for lifestyle reasons is immoral.

It's like stuffing your all child support money into an exotic dancer's g-string - not illegal, but hardly anyone would say it's moral. Not the stripping - the way you're spending your kids' money.

This is how I feel - although it disgusts me that someone in a marriage, with the income to support children, would abort one of her babies, knowing the other would be a constant reminder, I believe in the right to chose. I just can't imagine making this choice (especially as a woman who had an unexpected pregnancy, which turned out to be twins, with a 1, 3, and 5 year old at home, and no extra money).

 

[sparklynails23]

Not everything needs to be a conversation with the kids. Some things are private between a couple and their Doctor.

But this story is in the news. The kid is bound to find out.

 

[Colleen27]

I think this was a truly disgusting reason to seek a pregnancy reduction, but I don't think the law should ever try to make it illegal to do something based on WHY you want to do it. Because then people will just lie about why they want it, and you'll get doctors lying about whether it's medically necessary or not. ("medically necessary for the mother's mental health" will become the unprovable reason put on the paperwork.)

This. Legally speaking, there is no difference between what she's doing and the decision a woman who gets pregnant with quads on clomid makes. Reducing the pregnancy is either legal or illegal, and if we start attaching caveats based on intentions we quickly get to a place where legitimate medical concerns are devalued by excuse-making to get around the law (it was necessary for mom's "mental health") or where women are put upon to prove the medical hazard (which most would agree is an undue burden).

Besides, we're all going from a news article that only quotes the mother briefly. We have no idea what other factors played into her decision - in her 40s she's already high risk, and twins make that risk even higher. She's quoted on the socio-economic aspects because that's where the writer wanted to go with the article, but we don't know if she was also concerned about prematurity, preeclampsia, diabetes, other complications she might have had with her first pregnancy, the stresses of having 3 kids under 2, the possibility of having two special needs children to care for simultaneously, etc. I tend to be pretty skeptical of media coverage that reduces something so important and so personal to a few highly controversial comments.

 

[surfergirl602]

Could you imagine this conversation with your child?

"I'm glad we didn't have your sister..."

 

[autumnpalm]

Reading this just broke my heart. I do believe abortion is morally wrong and it saddens me to see how flippant this woman's attitude is towards the life of her own child.

As a resident of Canada it does disappoint me that this procedure was funded by tax-payer money. It is certainly not something I would support.

 

[luvmy3]

I don't have a problem with it, her body, her choice. To me this is no different than an abortion, which I also have no moral issue against.

 

[bored]

This makes me sick to my stomach, just as abortion does. For such an advanced nation to legalize murder of defenseless children is unfathonable to me.