Thinking about having our dog put to sleep . . .

[Antonia]

My dog is 17, yes, 17 years old. He has bad cataracts, a chronic ear infection that is getting worse, a tumor under his neck that you can't see, but you can feel it and it is about as big as a golf ball and several fluid-filled cysts on various parts of his body. He eats, he wags, but he cannot find his way around the house and occasionally he lays around and moans a little. He seems totally blind and is pretty much deaf. He mainly finds his way around by sense of smell and he smells us to identify us and to find his way around. One day he stood wagging at a floor lamp thinking it was one of us. Another day he nearly used the bathroom inside because he was running all around and could not find the dog door to get out. My husband just happened to come home and found him in a panic. I am undecided because I feel bad about me deciding to end his life, but then again I feel bad that his physical condition is poor and that he is virtually isolated from human contact due to blindness and deafness. I make a point to sit and pet him so he'll know I still love him. I think he must be pretty miserable and my husband is no help in deciding what to do. Have you ever had your dog put to sleep? Did you regret it? Did it take long? Did it seem painful? I would want to bring his little body home to bury him. Can you do that? I'd appreciate some input from any of you who have experienced having to end a pet's life.

 

[Liz]

Oh I feel your pain, literally. I just got a pain in my stomach reading this thread. You clearly love your pup very much.

I had my cat put to sleep at age 16. This was about 11 years ago I guess but sometimes I still ask myself if I did the right thing. I have to remind myself that I spent most of the night before awake with him and he was in too much pain to even lay down. When he did lay down he'd get right back up again and I promised him I wouldn't let him suffer another day. But it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I was with him when he passed and I felt like my heart had just been broken into a million pieces. But deep down I think I probably did the right thing.

I don't know what to tell you. Its such a personal decision that only you and your family can make. If you decide to do it just know that you are doing it out of love.

 

[Dopeygirl]

First off, I am SO sorry to hear this. Its a horrible position to be in.

Not a dog but last summer we had to make that painful decision for our 17-year old cat. I got her when I was 8, so I had really grown up with her. And I couldn't imagine life without her. But she was having heart failure and was going downhill fast. Her last few days consisted of her sleeping either in my arms or my husband's. And that was about all she did. She didn't eat or drink or anything. It was awful to watch and it was awful to know that the end was so near. The day we made the decision was horrible. I hated making that phone call to the vet. But we knew it had to be done. We set it up for two days later, as I really wanted those last few days with her, however selfish on my part.

The actual procedure was rather quick. I wasn't prepared for how quick it'd happen until that day. When we got to the vet, they took us into a room and let us have as much time with her as we wanted. I really wanted to take her and run away. But I knew it wasn't right. She looked so pitiful. She had been sleeping on one of my husband's shirts, so we took that in with us. They laid her on the shirt (on the table) and then proceeded. Altogether, it was less than a minute. For larger animals, it can take a little longer. The doctor explained it all and it wasn't painful for her at all. Afterwards, they let us have some more time with her. The emotions really got to me and I ended up throwing up. They later said that I wasn't the first to have done that. As difficult as it was to tell the vet that we were ready to have it done, it was even more difficult to walk away from her that day (we had her cremated, as we live in an apartment and had no place to bury her). Laws vary by states, so you'd need to check with your vet about burying your dog.

Do I regret it? Other than for selfish reasons, not a bit. By that last night, she was just so pitiful. She wasn't in a lot of pain but her heart was quickly giving out on her. And we both knew it was just time. And so did she. I still miss her terribly and remembering that day is still very tough on me (I'm sitting her with tears streaming down my face). It was, however, the right thing for us to do.

If you do make that decision, make sure someone goes with you. For the support and for the simple task of driving you home afterwards. There is no way I could have driven. We had already cleaned up some of her stuff the night before but we had to finish it when we got home. That was theraputic for us. There were a few things that we just never put away, like her basket of toys. I think we both just needed to be able to see that.

I know its a terrible, terrible decision to have to make. Big ((HUGS)) to you. And if you need someone to listen, PM or e-mail me.

 

[SuiteDisney]

I'm so sorry you're fur baby is about to leave you. This is a decision only you can make and you'll know when the time is right. To answer a couple of your questions, it's very fast and you can stay with him if you want. They'll give him a shot and he'll fall asleep. It won't hurt him. And you can certainly bring him home to bury him. If that's too hard for you to deal with, you can leave him there and they will arrange to have him cremated.

I wish you all the best and I know you'll do whatever is best for your dog. (((hugs)))

 

[LuvTigger]

I am so sorry, your post brought tears to my eyes...we had a dog put to sleep a few months ago. She was only 10, but she suffered from severe separation anxiety and would run away when we weren't home. She physically injured herself several times, and fortunately she was never hit by a car. It got to the point where she would have hurt herself eventually, and we learned that she was really suffering when we weren't home, and it also made our other dogs anxious.

Do I miss my dog? Yes, tons. Did I regret it? I wasn't the decision maker, but after we did it, I actually felt relieved. I finally realized that she was free from suffering this way. Not only that, our other dog is now relatively stress free. She would worry everytime our other dog would run away. Also, our lives used to revolve around the dogs, mainly because of our runaway. We would always have to plan things around her and make sure someone could get home as soon as they can. If we didn't put her to sleep, she would have continued to suffer, and eventually probably would have been seriously injured.

I'm not sure about your other questions, but I do know people who have had their pets cremated and put in urns.

*HUGS* to you, I know it's not an easy decision to make, but like the others said, the reason you are even considering this is your love for him.

 

[catsrule]

I am so sorry, I am not looking forward to the day when I may have to decide this.

 

[Pin Wizard]

(((((((((((((((Antonia)))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry your pup is at this stage. All you guys have me crying!

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

I'm so sorry to hear about your dog. I had to put a dog down about 10 years ago(childhood dog) due to kidney failure. I have one now, a collie she is 11 years old and was diagnosed with bladder cancer a year ago. She had surgery but it reoccured and now there is nothing that can be done. I see changes in her . And she is starting to have some accidents in the house, but it doesn't seem right yet. She's OK if you leave her out often. And she still seems happy. You'll know when its time. Think of his quality of life. Is that how you would want to live? Good Luck with your decision. Its very difficult, I know.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

It has been 2yrs since I had to put my cat to sleep, Honey...I still miss her! She was one of our first fur kids, a yellow tabby. Nosy and sociable. Grew up while we went to college (lived with alot of parties, apartments, and other animals) and grew up with our oldest dd. She was 18yrs. old.

She had thryroid disease in which she was starving all the time. It was funny at first to have your cat fight with your kids over a chicken leg but eventually it got worse and I realized how much she was suffering. We also thought she probably had some intestine disease as well. She started having diarhea (sp) accidents. Not fun. The day she jumped on youngest dds bed to "go" was the day it was time. I hated doing that but it became unsanitary to live with her.
You'll know the time and {{{HUGS}}}!

 

[Breezy_Carol]

{{{{{hugs}}}}} to you.

This is a hard decision to make, but you are the only one who can decide when the quality of life is gone.

I have had 2 dogs put down over the years. I stayed with both of them, holding and petting them as they just drifted off to "sleep". Because it was winter and the ground was frozen, I had them cremated seperately (not a group cremation) and had the ashes returned. When spring came, we buried them in the backyard and planted a tree over each of them. So we now have a "Rascal" tree and a "Julie" tree. This helped the kids a lot.

Good luck to you. I will keep you in my thoughts.

 

[Blondie]

Only you can decide if it's time.

Making that decision was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

Our 10 1/2 year old Weimaraner became a diabetic, and went blind. He was doing many of the things yours is doing. He couldn't find his way around the house, I'd hear him bumping into the kitchen cabinets late at night....his quality of life wasn't there anymore. Also, due to a cataract in one eye, the eye itself became necrotic...and the eye needed to be removed. When that happened, we made the decision.

Our vet came out to our truck and gave him the injection. We cuddled him as he took his last breaths. We then drove him home to bury him in the backyard.

Very often we extend our dog's and cat's lives for ourselves....because we can't bare to part with them.

(((hugs)))

 

[Boo'sMom]

It was a year ago in November that I had to have my beloved puppy Murphy put to sleep. She was 14 years old and was diabetic....we went through many of the same things you are going through.
I stayed with her until she drifted off, it was really quick but emotionally draining..(as I type this tears are running down my face) but I'm glad she knew to the last minute that I loved her dearly. The vet even had tears in his eyes...she was just so sweet.
She was also cremated separately, and I have her ashes to spread someday when I'm able to.
It is an incredibly difficult decision, and you will probably second-guess yourself for a while. The words to this poem always gave me comfort, perhaps they will for you too:

A Dog's Prayer

If it should be that I grow weak
And pain does keep me from my sleep
Then you must do what must be done
For this last battle cannot be won

You will be sad- this I understand
Don't let your grief stay your hand
For this day, more then all the rest
Your love for me must stand the test

We've has so many happy years
What is to come can hold no fears
You'd not want me to suffer so
The time has come- please let me go.

Take me to where my needs they'll tend
and please stay with me till the end
Hold me tight and speak to me
Till my eyes no longer see.

I know in time you will see
The kindness that you did for me
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I've been saved

Please do not grieve, it must be you
Who has this painful thing to do.
We've been so close, we two, these years
Don't let your heart hold back its tears.

 

[Buckalew]

{{{HUGS}}} Antonia.

I could have written your post. My little dog is Bucky and he is 16. I have had him for 15 years and he has been my best friend. The best little dog I could have ever asked for.

He has just about the same symptoms of your dog. He goes out and potties and comes back in goes down the hall and goes straight to bed. He sleeps all day and eats really good still. I think he is seperating himself from us by not wanting to be with us like he used to be. He did get up on Christmas day, his birthday, and want to be with us. He moans and whines some and licks his back legs like he is trying to make the hurt that must be there go away (maybe arthritis). He also has bladder stones that should be (but I won't have) removed. He is just too old to go through surgery and I don't want him to die on the table with my BIL (his vet) feeling badly.

I, too, don't know what to do because he eats so good, still seems to like us to pet him and can go potty OK. I don't want to make the decision but then again, I don't want him to suffer and I don't want him to lose his "dignity". He has been such a special friend to me all this time.

I watched my DH put his beloved dog to sleep in March. It was painless for the dog but for DH, well, we all know the hurt. It is hard to give the ones up who love you so conditionally, through thick and thin.

My heart goes out to you and the decision you have before you. I know it will be hard but I also know that both of us have the thoughts and prayers of most every person here when we finally do have to make the decision.
{{{hugs}}}again.
Brenda

 

[luvwinnie]

Have you talked to your vet yet? He/she could be very helpful in making this decision. When the time does come, just be sure to be with your furbaby. I am so sorry for the grief you are going through. Hugs, pd and prayers.

 

[Buckalew]

Thanks for the poem, Boo's mom. I printed that out. Thank you so much.

 

[Boo'sMom]

You're welcome. Know that many of us have shared your pain.

 

[Taryn]

This is so hard… I’m crying as we went through this just before Thanksgiving with our Booh Bear… oh, sorry… Brutus… he would be totally embarrassed to find that I had called him Booh Bear in Public…

I’ll try to be practical and helpful here though. If your husband can’t help with the decision or at least reassure you when you make one please speak to your vet. They have been through this many times and chances are if you feel you need to think about it you are likely right. The vet will not have the same emotional attachment and can be objective and supportive.

We went with a cremation and return of the ashes in an urn. We plan to scatter them on the path my husband and Booh took each evening for his walk. We haven’t been able to do it yet though. I haven’t been able to move the dog bowls!

If you go with cremation please know that you need to ask for them to be returned and for them to do it separately.

The weekend this happened to us we were both a mess. We ended up doing something that was so helpful though… we wrote… for the whole weekend. J was downstairs on his computer me upstairs on mine and we wrote down all the crazy things he did… the time he ate the pizza… how he would eat sundaes by holding them in his paws… everything we could think of… we collected pictures… cried and wrote. It brought us together and really helped with the grieving.

We produced about forty pages that day which we will bind properly into a Booh book soon. This was really really helpful for us.

Oh, one other thing… I couldn’t do it… make the decision and I think that was clear to everyone. My husband took care of things while I was at work. I thank him so much for that because it was right… I just couldn’t make it come out of my mouth . I am so sorry you need to go through this.

Be strong and be well…

 

[ByTheSea]

so sorry to hear... we went through a similar situation with our cat this past year. You will make the right decision when you are ready. It took us over a year to follow our Vet's advice, we just weren't ready and tried to put it off as long as possible. We do miss her, she was in our lives for so long, but now when I look back, it's something we probably should have done a bit sooner. She was miserable and we were miserable for many months and it got to the point where we often felt a bit like we didn't "like" her much (lot's of bladder problems the last year, nuff said) I too finally had to ask DH to "take care of it" - I just couldn't deal with it, especially after losing my Dad shortly before.

One difficult aspect I had to deal with were acquaintances who said some pretty nasty things about even considering "killing" our pet... it sure didn't help and when it comes time (I hate to even think about it) but when the time comes for our beloved dog... I will probably not even tell anyone.... just don't need the added guilt trips.....

it's so nice to see the lovely support and tributes others have posted to their dear departed pets. They really are members of the family and there is an emptiness once they are gone.... so sorry....

 

[Leota]

You guys all have me in tears, hugging my Cosmo & grateful that I don't have to face that decision yet.....


I have no advice, just {{{Hugs}}} I'm sure this has got to be one of the hardest decisions a person has to make. I'm hoping I would have the strength to give my fur-babes the Love to let them go when it is time. I have asked for that for myself, so I feel it would be the right thing to do for them when the time comes....

 

[yoopermom]

I went through this same exact thing two years ago April with my Peke, and it really traumatized me. One thing that kept her going the last few months was for us to narrow the area she was loose in (in her case we gated off the kitchen, so she only had a 10X12 area to bump around in, and we only had a small area to keep "clutter free"). I was selfish, and *wished* she had something more wrong with her than "old age", because then the choice of having her put down would have been so much easier. Just an FYI, some vets will come out to your house (or at least your vehicle), so your pet's last thoughts won't be of being at the vet's. I brought a cardboard box with that I put her bed and some special mementos in, so that, once she was gone, we could put her right in it, and bury her. It took me over a year to feel like getting a new dog, though, so be prepared for some serious grieving, it is natural. Prayers and best wishes to you...
Terri the Yoopermom