There's a reason they need help.

[Crankyshank]

You know my SIL is a welfare abuser and my in-laws think nothing of it. She works p/t at a nursery school, lives for free with my in-laws who raise her children for her, and blows her welfare checks and spent her EIC on a tattoo, manicures, tramp clothes, and whatever expensive stuff she desires.
and pitched a colossal fit when they cut out her food stamps. no matter that she never used the money to support her children because my in-laws do that. oh and she whines because she had to pay money to get her tooth out and MIL told DH and I should give her money because she can't afford the dental bills. Hello I can barely afford my own and I have a job

 

[AllyandJack]

Are you talking about the guy that was shot robbing a Stop & Shop in North Smithfield?
If so I saw the parents on tv blasting the poor officer that shot him and how he needs to be fired and how the daughter is traumatized now. yeah ok because it's not traumatizing to have your father bring you along when robbing Stop & Shop of formula while he was high on some sort of drug (I think it was crack)

That's the one! Did you see that woman saying it was a "shame" what the cop did?" Hello....he brought her along to ROB A STORE and then TRIED TO RUN OVER A COP with her in the car. Oh, but it's all the cop's fault. I suppose he should have just allowed himself to be run down and killed.

 

[becker1123]

It's called entitlement. When you give people things for too long, they have no sense of accomplishment and just always want more. That's not to say that welfare doesn't have a useful place. I've known people who used welfare as it was meant to be used, temporarily until they could get back on their feet. I also know people who expect the government to do everything for them and pay for everything. I also know someone who has her child enrolled in voluntary busing program and the schools she can choose from are based on where she lives. Her "zone" contains some great schools, but she was upset because she couldn't choose the district in the best and most expensive part of town!

 

[kelleigh1]

There is this kid and his mother who have season tickets to the local baseball team (where I also have season tickets). There is no doubt that these people are hurting for money. I've even heard them talking in the past about how the electricty was shut off for non-payment and that they had all these overdue bills. Now they don't spend money on their appearance, that's for sure - but they have their season tickets and this kid probably has the biggest baseball card collection in the state.

The welfare system in this country really needs an overhaul. They should have the authority to do routine home visits to see what is really going on with the money WE are paying to support the people who are living off the system.

 

[cardaway]

I used to work in private sector child care. Sometimes it was all I could do not to lose my cool with people when they wouldn't pay their bill, but had their nails done and they had just bought junior a new pair of nike tennis shoes and told me earlier in the week how they went out on the town last weekend. At times like these, I felt somewhat justified in saying...no payment, no childcare. Of course, there are people who actually need the help and are doing everything they can to get by and it would break my heart to put those children out for non-payment. But what wonderful lessons to teach your children in the former case

We are in the childcare business as well and we had one we had one family where we got the checks from the state. They would complain about giving us the small amount they were responsible for, sometimes even paying it late, after their son just spent the day with us telling us all the cool things they had and the things they did on the weekends.

In our situation the kid had no idea the parents were claiming hardship in one hour and going to Canada again the next.

 

[Crankyshank]

Yup that's the one!
I know someone that was at the store at the time too! She (the mother or was it the grandmother? went on and on about what a good heart he had.

 

[AllyandJack]

My best friend's idea is that she "deserves" it and "it's about time I got something back". Her DH works under the table - not for chump change either, he's making almost $500./week clear. Plus, he has a "real" job that provides benefits, but they're better than the rest of us and don't want to pay the whole $50./week for it, so they get MassHealth because his "real" job is only 30 hours a week at $10./hour and they qualify. They're also getting food stamps. She just had a baby. She has this idea that she earned it by paying taxes for years. No....you are entitled to it if you fall on hard times. You don't deserve it just because you found a way to steal it.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

The welfare system in this country really needs an overhaul. They should have the authority to do routine home visits to see what is really going on with the money WE are paying to support the people who are living off the system.

::Yes::

 

[Jen_in_NH]

I work in a town that has a fairly high poverty level, unemployment rate, and a huge drug problem. The town's welfare costs are astronomical for the population. What kills me is seeing people who could work, and don't (and I know not for disability reasons), who collect welfare checks, fuel assistance, food stamps, and rental assistance, and who drive around in new vehicles with expensive toys and nice clothes. DH and I bust our butts working a full time and part time job each to afford vehicles, house, etc. And apparently to pay for others to have similar things without working for them.

I'm all for welfare and such if a person truly cannot work, ran into some hard times, etc, but not as a way of life for someone who just doesn't care to work

Jen

 

[cardaway]

My best friend's idea is that she "deserves" it and "it's about time I got something back". Her DH works under the table - not for chump change either, he's making almost $500./week clear. Plus, he has a "real" job that provides benefits, but they're better than the rest of us and don't want to pay the whole $50./week for it, so they get MassHealth because his "real" job is only 30 hours a week at $10./hour and they qualify. They're also getting food stamps. She just had a baby. She has this idea that she earned it by paying taxes for years. No....you are entitled to it if you fall on hard times. You don't deserve it just because you found a way to steal it.

The real fun examples are the many folks who live with somebody else who pays the bills so they can spend 100% of the welfare money on whatever.

 

[Makdyn]

Are you talking about the guy that was shot robbing a Stop & Shop in North Smithfield?
If so I saw the parents on tv blasting the poor officer that shot him and how he needs to be fired and how the daughter is traumatized now. yeah ok because it's not traumatizing to have your father bring you along when robbing Stop & Shop of formula while he was high on some sort of drug (I think it was crack)

I seen the headlines about this in the providence Journal. I did not read it, but now I am. this is why the baby formula is locked up and you have to ask for it to feed your kids.

 

[AllyandJack]

The real fun examples are the many folks who live with somebody else who pays the bills so they can spend 100% of the welfare money on whatever.

That's my cousin. She lives with her parents. She gets food stamps and a check every month, plus Medicaid. Her newest coup is that she got her 3 year old diagnosed with ADHD and put on Ritalin. This is getting her about $250./month in SS. The sick thing is, she'll give him a little extra Ritalin to keep him off her back, as she likes to say. Twisted.

She uses her welfare money for drugs, alcohol, and clothes.

 

[Crankyshank]

The real fun examples are the many folks who live with somebody else who pays the bills so they can spend 100% of the welfare money on whatever.

Yup like my SIL
and yet I shouldn't have children because I'm not "saved" and it's not fair to damn poor babies to Hell

 

[AllyandJack]

Yup like my SIL
and yet I shouldn't have children because I'm not "saved" and it's not fair to damn poor babies to Hell

I love the advice from them, don't you? I joked around that I was going to breast-feed because it's free (that was way back when I foolishly thought I'd be able to have babies like my loser cousin). My cousin told me to get WIC because the formula is free. First of all, it's not FREE. It's paid for on the backs of hard working people. I think WIC is a great program and I'm all for anyone who needs food and formula, but it's not "free". Second, they don't just hand out WIC like free samples at Sam's Club. I want to live in her Fantasyland where things are just handed out.

 

[FSUGrad97]

OP, I totally agree!

What is even worse is that when I was in high school, my church would go to a local soup kitchen and make a meal. I remember this one woman came in with her child, and the woman was wearing a jacket, but the child wasn't. To make matters worse, she was smoking. It was cold outside, and I couldn't get over how she had enough money to buy cigarettes and a jacket for herself, but not for her child. It gripes me to no end when parents put themselves before their kids like that.

 

[pigletz]

They do not plan ahead. They live only for now. Instant gratification and instant rewards. They are so unhappy with their lives, that buying things/toys gives them a measure of happiness for the immediate now. They do not stop to consider whether it will impact them tomorrow. Then tomorrow comes, and they really don't have what they need. They teach their children to live the same way. They only want to wear/buy/eat/get the best because it makes them feel worth more. That's why often the biggest "name brands" sales are to the poor, while the middle class is more likely to buy brands for quality than for the name.

I see this a lot in my students' families.

I see the same thing with my students. Close to 75% of my kids are on the free lunch program. Most of my kids have expensive cell phones, IPods, PSPs and other expensive toys at home.
Your post reminded me of a book by Ruby Payne. I can't remember the name of the book but it was about wealth and poverty. There was a lot that made sense to me after reading it but it still baffles me when a student will get in serious trouble at school and then come back with the most expensive brand new tennis shoes.

 

[Free4Life11]

I work with a lady who I really like. Very nice lady, but she is a little slow and very poor. We were talking one night and "Rent a Center" came and took away her bed because she couldn't make payments. But she was quick to tell me that ther big screen was paid off. I didn't say anything but inside I was just shaking my head.

I don't want to fault her too much, because like I said she is a little slow, but I mean big screen versus a bed?

Priorities in this country are way out of whack.

 

[lindakmonty]

My mom always likes to tell everyone that when she met my stepdad she didn't even have a coat... she didn't leave the house EVER...and she smoked like a chimney drives me crazy!

OP did these people drive away in a cadillac too probably a nice car anyway. that crap aggrevates me. I work 75 miles from home to have a decent job and pay for the things I want!! My son always comes first no matter what!

 

[kelleigh1]

My sister was on WIC for about 6 months when my niece was 2 and my nephew as an infant. Her husband had left her before my nephew was born and she was living in Texas. She managed to get a transfer up here and moved back and lived with me for a year and a half.

She hated being on WIC because she wanted to be able to take care of her own kids. At the time, she needed it for my nephew and she worked her butt off to get off of it. Now she's remarried to a great guy and they are the first to help anyone else who may need it.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

My sister was on WIC for about 6 months when my niece was 2 and my nephew as an infant. Her husband had left her before my nephew was born and she was living in Texas. She managed to get a transfer up here and moved back and lived with me for a year and a half.

She hated being on WIC because she wanted to be able to take care of her own kids. At the time, she needed it for my nephew and she worked her butt off to get off of it. Now she's remarried to a great guy and they are the first to help anyone else who may need it.

THIS is what the program is for, not for people to live off of forever.

One of my Aunts was in a similar situation. She was on WIC and Welfare after she left her husband (he was cheating on her with a lady he brought home to be her friend, it was a very messed up situation). She had two babies then. She went to a trade school, found a job, got off the services, bought her own house, etc.

When used right WIC and Welfare are wonderful. But they are so bad when they are abused.