Therapeutic Boarding Schools

[sonnyjane]

I just looked on the website. They are accredited by NATSAP. Sorry, they are a member of NATSAP. Their academics are accredited by the state association of Christian schools. There are no psychiatric accreditations.

Yikes. Not sounding good in my opinion then. I'd want some more accountability.

 

[THEDISNEYTHREE]

Yikes. I agree with the no way.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I would be wary of a school for troubled kids that does not believe in or incorporate some type of psychiatry/psychology/therapeutic counseling, etc. Besides changing the kids' attitudes and habits, they need to find and treat the root of the problem. That can include therapy and possibly medication, depending upon the circumstances. It doesn't mean every kid needs to be put on meds, but it should be an option if everyone agrees it's the best course of action. I also think the parents need to be included in the decision-making process regarding each step of treatment. I can understand limiting contact for the first month so the child can get integrated into the program. But signing over parental rights is way too extreme. There's got to be a better program out there.

 

[barkley]

my experience is from a parent in the adult support group we attend while our son attends his teen group therapy for kids on the autism spectrum. this was a woman who during different points in her son's life was at her wit's end dealing w/all sorts of negative behaviors that included the teen being violent towards his mom and engaging in dangerous actions. she was told repeatedly by school and juvenile court staff that the boy needed something to change his attitude so she opted for one of these types of boarding situations. it was a horrendous situation and when the boy came home he was worse than before. it wasn't until she got a COMPLETE neurological evaluation done on her son that they learned he is on the autism spectrum as well as having some sensory issues and other diagnosis. with appropriate treatment and medication from knowledgeable and qualified practitioners this boy was able to start working towards a more 'normal' life (he made tremendous gains) but he harbored tremendous resentment against his mother for sending him there, and she felt tremendous guilt.

I wouldn't consider sending my child to any place that required I sign away my parental rights or had something against 'teen rights' (they are called 'human rights' and they should not be violated-which I suspect some of these place skirt around by virtue of having been granted parental rights by the teen's parents), but if I were looking to send my child to any type of therapeutic live in facility I would first rule out any and every medical issue that could be contributing to what I perceived as needing treatment.

 

[Luvchefmic]

http://www.struggling-teens.com/content/residential-treatment-facilities.html

May be information/some assistance to your family: from above link:

" It is important to note that while some health insurance can help with the costs, not all will. However, there are educational grants available for those who qualify (as long as the facility is eligible), and there are other options. Many residential treatment facilities can set up long term payment plans with you, and some families get loans from other places. There are usually several options available for those who truly need help. "

 

[barkley]

oh-just thought of something else. parents need to check and see (esp. w/ a teen in high school) if the year away will count towards their schooling. different states have different educational requirements AND if even if it's accredited through a private school association in a particular state that doesn't mean the units are transferable (dh went to a NON therapeutic private boarding high school that was accredited in his then home state BUT when he ended up going to public high school a couple of years later he found that several of the classes were not accepted for credit and some classes required by the state for graduation he'd never taken-they weren't part of the private school's curriculum-so he ended up playing catch up on allot of units). I also recall a client I had in social services who sent her kid to one of these types of places only to find out a year later when the kid came home that none of the units were transferable (so a kid she had horrendous problems getting to attend school in the first place was looking at a full additional year).

 

[tina.tina]

My parents do foster care. A few of their foster daughters have told me that they have been to programs like this. One told me that she slept in a shelter she built (like a lean-to) even in the winter and went in the woods like bears. She, and another one who went through a similar program, seemed initially to have benefited but things later deteriorated. I wonder if these programs can come up with any studies showing long term benefits. I couldn't believe the state sent these children to a program like that. They aren't criminals and needed support (that they lacked from their parents to begin with) rather than punishment. Another went to a program that seemed a little better. It was after she spent time with my parents and she called my parents a few times and told them she was enjoying things and especially liked playing volleyball. Her version seemed significantly different than the other girls and she attended intensive therapy sessions.

Would any of the relatives be willing to host this child (like a foreign exchange student or a foster child)? Sometimes, parents don't want to admit that another family member's perspective or assistance could make more difference than their own and would prefer to trust the "professionals." But, I would argue that she should trust him with her family members before some strangers who are pretty much isolating him kind of like a cult. If he and his mother could get into family counseling and work on their relationship while they aren't having daily confrontations with him, they might significantly improve their relationship. If things are going that badly, what would the mother have to lose? She would be saving a ton of money.

 

[chiefmickeymouse]

My parents do foster care. A few of their foster daughters have told me that they have been to programs like this. One told me that she slept in a shelter she built (like a lean-to) even in the winter and went in the woods like bears. She, and another one who went through a similar program, seemed initially to have benefited but things later deteriorated. I wonder if these programs can come up with any studies showing long term benefits. I couldn't believe the state sent these children to a program like that. They aren't criminals and needed support (that they lacked from their parents to begin with) rather than punishment. Another went to a program that seemed a little better. It was after she spent time with my parents and she called my parents a few times and told them she was enjoying things and especially liked playing volleyball. Her version seemed significantly different than the other girls and she attended intensive therapy sessions.

Would any of the relatives be willing to host this child (like a foreign exchange student or a foster child)? Sometimes, parents don't want to admit that another family member's perspective or assistance could make more difference than their own and would prefer to trust the "professionals." But, I would argue that she should trust him with her family members before some strangers who are pretty much isolating him kind of like a cult. If he and his mother could get into family counseling and work on their relationship while they aren't having daily confrontations with him, they might significantly improve their relationship. If things are going that badly, what would the mother have to lose? She would be saving a ton of money.

The thing is, I don't know how badly things are going. She and her husband and her parents are the only ones who know what the catalyst for all this was. They have asked for help from the extended family, but only in the form of advice and cash. This isn't a single mom, her husband is pushing for this school too. I guess it must have been pretty bad, but I don't know what he did.

 

[kuhltiffany]

No way would I ever sign over parental rights to an unknown school!

What about some of the specialty programs run by Outward Bound? They are held in high regard…
http://www.outwardbound.org/struggling-teens/struggling-teens/

 

[NHdisneylover]

I totally missed that they'd have to sign over parental rights! No way, no how would I ever suggest anyone sign over parental rights to a non professional with basically no oversight who is going to more or less take the kid "off the grid" where the kids could not get help if they needed it. It sounds like a complete recipe for disaster and ripe for all kinds of abuse.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

No way would I even consider such an arrangement.

I would opt doctor's treatments under my watch. I know it is not easy and can be scary as hell with some kids, but I do not see the benefit of sending a CHILD to live like an animal essentially, in the woods, with adults. That is horrifying to me.

 

[tina.tina]

The thing is, I don't know how badly things are going. She and her husband and her parents are the only ones who know what the catalyst for all this was. They have asked for help from the extended family, but only in the form of advice and cash. This isn't a single mom, her husband is pushing for this school too. I guess it must have been pretty bad, but I don't know what he did.

I said "she" because I only noticed that you mentioned the mom in the OP, but what I've said applies to both parents. Sometimes when you are in the middle of a situation, it's hard to see things from every angle and it's hard to not get emotional or overreact. Growing up with a sister with bipolar disorder (undiagnosed until adulthood), I understand how one family member with problems could tear a family apart (thankfully, mine has held on). Why wouldn't the parents talk to their extended family about this situation if they have exhausted all of their own ideas/resources? Sometimes parents don't want to admit that they don't know what to do for their child because it makes them feel inadequate since "everybody else" is doing fine with their kids. At the very least, if they were asking me for money, I would feel like I had the right to ask what community resources they've already tried.

I just finished reading that book about Scientology. Crazy stuff. I don't think that's what this school is. It is a religious type school though.

Lots of crazy things have been done and are being done in the name of religion....

 

[ronandannette]

I totally missed that they'd have to sign over parental rights! No way, no how would I ever suggest anyone sign over parental rights to a non professional with basically no oversight who is going to more or less take the kid "off the grid" where the kids could not get help if they needed it. It sounds like a complete recipe for disaster and ripe for all kinds of abuse.

I actually can't believe this is even accurate; there must be some misunderstanding on the part of the OP. Our DS goes away to summer camp (regular camp, not brat-camp) for an extended period each year and when he was a minor we had to sign a number of waivers regarding their authority for "care and oversight" as well as notarized permission to make emergency medical decisions. (Heck, we even had friends of ours sign similar papers when we took their child on vacation with us.)

I have to imagine it's similar in this case. To legally relinquish parental rights severs any responsibility for that child and transfers it to whomever is then acquiring parental rights (eg. the state, or an adoptive parent) and renders the original parents without obligation to anything further - including paying the kid's camp bills!

 

[chiefmickeymouse]

I actually can't believe this is even accurate; there must be some misunderstanding on the part of the OP. Our DS goes away to summer camp (regular camp, not brat-camp) for an extended period each year and when he was a minor we had to sign a number of waivers regarding their authority for "care and oversight" as well as notarized permission to make emergency medical decisions. (Heck, we even had friends of ours sign similar papers when we took their child on vacation with us.)

I have to imagine it's similar in this case. To legally relinquish parental rights severs any responsibility for that child and transfers it to whomever is then acquiring parental rights (eg. the state, or an adoptive parent) and renders the original parents without obligation to anything further - including paying the kid's camp bills!

You're right, I asked. It's a temporary guardianship.

 

[clutter]

I have a friend who sent her teen son on one of the struggling teen Outward Bound programs one summer, then followed up by enrolling him in a therapeutic school. A true therapeutic school with lots of counseling and psychological oversight. It has helped the family tremendously. So, would I consider a therapeutic school? Yes. Would I consider one that requires temporarily signing over parental rights? No way, no how. Would I consider one that doesn't believe in psychiatry? No way, no how. Would I consider one that both doesn't believe in psychiatry and also is religious-based? No way no how. And I would do none of the above if I didn't have a full neurological workup done first. My friend? Her son is still at the school and is doing really well. He graduates next year and is looking for colleges.

 

[CPT Tripss]

You're right, I asked. It's a temporary guardianship.

And temporary guardianship gives parental rights to the guardian! So it is giving up parental rights. There is no good reason for parents who will be available to give consent, when necessary, to agree to that. It isn't like the parents are in jail or on military deployment. Many of these "therapeutic schools" either pray it or beat it out of the kids, some do both.

ITA that a thorough medical work-up, including psychiatric and psychological evaluations, is needed.

NATSAP is simply a lobby for a whole variety of service providers, there are states that license such facilities, as well as legitimate and bogus groups that accredit schools. If this place is neither licensed nor accredited, no question stay away. If they are licensed, that's just a minimum, look at the license requirements to see whether they are tough or lenient.

 

[Luvchefmic]

I've been thinking about this a lot since you posted OP. I have come to the conclusion that if this were my family and they were asking for money but not willing to tell me what exactly is going on I would just decline. It's not that I don't care, or think I have to know everything, but if you are asking me than you are opening that door to me. I also feel that since there are so many programs that could really hurt this kid, as others are posting, I'm not sure I would want to be a part of something that could be more hurt than help.

 

[SallySkelington]

I don't have kids but I would not send my kid any where if I didn't know what exactly was going on. And having to sign over parental rights? Absolutely not. On top of it this place doesn't believe in some form of therapy? Nope.

I would have your friend look into other schools OP.

 

[Oodalally13]

Truth be told, if the discipline wasn't there in the early stages/growing up, no amount of "therapeutic reform school", counseling, living with another family member is going to help. I would opt for spending time in juvie or maybe a "scared straight" encounter, but I don't believe those work in the long run either.

 

[chiefmickeymouse]

OP here, I forgot to add that the son was adopted as an infant, and is an only child. I don't think there's any lack of discipline involved. He has seen a counselor at their church, he is the one who suggested the boarding school. I don't know what credentials the counselor has. I let them know that they need to look into the accreditation of the school, they weren't very receptive. Now my parents are on board with him going to the school and won't even discuss it with me. I'm so incredibly frustrated and scared for this kid. My sister declined to help too and told them she thinks they're nuts for even considering it.

One problem I'm having is finding reliable reviews and information on-line. Everything is golden and glowing and sponsored by the school or all about abuse and anonymous. Heal-online lists them as abusive, but that has been written off as someone "with an agenda". All of the testimony on Heal is anonymous.