The Truth about Teacher Gifts, Things NOT to Do

[dismom2]

I LIKE buying teacher gifts, and I love all of my kids' teachers. Fortunately, they all have too much class to ask for a $5 gift card instead of something my child thought they would like. Maybe they do throw it away in private, but I hope they can appreciate the joy from a 5 year old who gets to pick out a gift and give it to a favorite teacher. [/QUOTE]

 

[irky416]

I would never give my granny a list of thing to buy me. If she asked what I wanted I would tell her, but I wouldn't take it upon myself to give her a list or tell what to buy me.

Then we have to agree to disagree. While at the age of 26, I certainly won't give my grandma an actual list, I definitely will tell her what I would like if she asks. The same with my parents, sister, boyfriend, and anyone who asks who I know will end up buying me a gift anyway. They're asking because they would like to get me something I will enjoy. I don't think this is weird and I know many many people who do it. When I ask them, they tell me.

This is what people are doing on this thread. There are always posts about what to buy teachers. People asked and now teachers are answering them.

Obviously people are different and if you know a teacher well get them something that fits them. But many parents just get a generic gift because they don't know the teacher that well and want to do something for them. This thread is more for those people, I think, not parents who actually get to know a teacher and know what they like.

 

[allison443]

I LIKE buying teacher gifts, and I love all of my kids' teachers. Fortunately, they all have too much class to ask for a $5 gift card instead of something my child thought they would like. Maybe they do throw it away in private, but I hope they can appreciate the joy from a 5 year old who gets to pick out a gift and give it to a favorite teacher.

Thank you for pointing this out.
Haven't we all as parents received a gaudy jewelry item from our kids, or something else that they picked out for us, that is But we love it and truly appreciate the meaning and thought behind it. I think most teachers do the same.

 

[momx2]

Then we have to agree to disagree. While at the age of 26, I certainly won't give my grandma an actual list, I definitely will tell her what I would like if she asks. The same with my parents, sister, boyfriend, and anyone who asks who I know will end up buying me a gift anyway. They're asking because they would like to get me something I will enjoy. I don't think this is weird and I know many many people who do it. When I ask them, they tell me.

I think you need to re-read my post. I said "if she asked I would tell her", but you asked me isn't this the same as giving your granny a list, you didn't say anything about her asking for one until this post.

I'll say it again, I'm sad about this thread and many others over the years on the Dis because it appears from them that teachers are somewhat judgmental about the gifts they recieve.

 

[StitchandPooh'sMom]

Let me say up front that our school collects money from each parent (whoever wishes to contribute) and gives the teachers a monetary gift. I always contribute to that (usually $10 sometimes $20). I get that money is useful, everyone can use it, etc.

However, especially when my kids were in the younger grades, they would get very excited about picking out a special gift for their teachers because they really liked their teachers. I shamefully admit I have given some Bath and Body Works stuff over the years . (seriously, though, who can't use soap? Put it in the teacher's bathroom at school if you don't like it.)

I certainly hope my kids' teachers weren't annoyed that my kids picked out a gift and gave them a nice card. like some on here seem to be. They certainly didn't seem to be. My kids have received lovely thank you notes from them, usually sent home the same day. Maybe it's okay to give a gift as long as I also gave money.

I'm not a teacher but I was a volunteer Girl Scout leader for many years. The girls in my troop sometimes gave Christmas or year end gifts. I was very touched by the whatever I received. I certainly didn't think, oh, I wish it was a Starbucks gift card instead.

I totally agree. We have contributed to the class gift (usually a gift card), but my child also always gives something from the heart, not just the wallet. My kindergartener can't wait to bring pretty presents to the two women who have taught her so much already this year. My fourth grader still likes to make cards and bring her own things in, but she also likes me to contribute to the gift card fund since she enjoys getting gift cards herself (but not from me ).

There's nothing inherently wrong with gift cards if some thought has gone into them. But there is also nothing wrong with a gift picked out specifically for one person, instead of buying $5 gift cards in bulk and giving them to anyone you see.

I think what is disheartening is the suggestion that gift cards are the only gift that will be used or appreciated. That has been a common theme on several of the teacher gift threads.

 

[dismom2]

Thank you for pointing this out.
Haven't we all as parents received a gaudy jewelry item from our kids, or something else that they picked out for us, that is But we love it and truly appreciate the meaning and thought behind it. I think most teachers do the same.

Our school has a "Holiday Shop" every year, which is filled with dollar store and clearence items. Every year my kids LOVE to go to that "store" (which is in a large classroom) and spend their allowence buying me, thier father, grandparents, aunts and uncles---basically, all the people they love---gifts. They get so much joy in choosing a gift for people they love. Are they cheap? Yes, but you've never seen such happiness in thier faces when they give these gifts. And you've never seen such happy faces when you my family opens these gifts. THIS IS TRULY PRICELESS, AND WHAT CHRISTMAS GIVING IS ALL ABOUT. Do we need these dollar store items? Maybe not, but no way in heck will any receiver in my family EVER let a child think or feel that thier gift was anything other than a true treasure that was given from the heart. A truly priceless treasure. Many children do not view things with a monetary value, but they see things with thier heart. Everyone, including you teachers, should recieve gifts with the same open heart. Forget about the materialistic value for once. These are gifts from the heart---priceless.
I'd rather experience this for every and all gifts I ever recieve in my life, than to have an attitude about whether I can use that gift or not, or whether it is good enough, or not. Buy the things you want with your own money, and just appreciate the little things in life. I don't know a better way to put it than that.


Christmas is not suppose to be so materialistic. This is so sad. Please refer to my other, long post for suggestions of what to do with some of your unwanted gifts.

 

[luvmy3]

Thank you for pointing this out.
Haven't we all as parents received a gaudy jewelry item from our kids, or something else that they picked out for us, that is But we love it and truly appreciate the meaning and thought behind it. I think most teachers do the same.

Yeah, if our kids love them like they do teachers should have to wear that same gaudy stuff that we have to Just kidding but I do agree with your point. One of my dses loves to pick out the gifts for his teachers, he really does put thought into it and is so proud of himself for picking out what he thinks his teacher will like. One year he picked out grapefruit lotion and I tried and tried to talk him out of it. He insisted his teacher would love it because she was talking about grapefruits one day in class, he was in pre-school. I explained it to her and she really did think it was sweet, although probably not the scent

 

[momx2]

Funny thing about mugs and coffee cups....the mugs my kids buy their teachers from disney, with their own money, always get used. We even had to replace one of the insulated mugs because the teacher let us know that it came apart and she really missed it. So we got her a new one the next trip! So some mugs do get used. Also, my DDs' music teacher uses a different one each week so the kids can see her use each of the mugs she recieves from them.

 

[spaceacewannabe]

Wow, this thread has gotten more heated than seems necessary.
I think the initial point was for those who are going to buy gifts (as we know many on this board do), there are some things to guide your children away from---and frankly, some of it is $$$ than things that will be used. I'm shocked but how much they charge for those themed mugs

I'm sure there are some teachers who feel entitled...I've met them too. Most of us don't, though, so please don't generalize---I know I am equally frustrated by people who are in education for the wrong reasons. I don't think anyone on here was really trying to dictate what you "should" buy---but if you're picking it out and not your child, I would think you'd want the gift to be used. I know I do when I give gifts...but, as others have said, a card or a note has a lot of lasting value and costs almost nothing.

 

[mjkacmom]

So why is it OK to buy generic chocolate covered pretzels that benefit your DD, but it is not OK for parents to buy Godiva chocolate, candles, or body lotions? It seems that some of the PP have put a lot of thought and effort into their gifts, not just ordered ten of the same items for people whose names they don't even know. Either way, I hope your DD's teachers appreciate that you remembered them at Christmas, and I hope your panties don't get in a bunch if they post on the DIS about the parent who only gave them pretzels so her DD could earn her Brownie badge.

I don't think I've ever been guilty of purchasing body lotions or mugs for a teacher, but I am guilt of buying chocolate for them!

I'm giving them generic gift rather than the NOTHING that most other families give! I would have no idea of a personal item to buy them since I've never even spoken to them. And if they want to complain on the DIS board, fine by me, although I have yet to see a post where a teacher complained about a gift.

 

[mjkacmom]

Then I hope your DD is giving pictures with her pretzels.

I LIKE buying teacher gifts, and I love all of my kids' teachers. Fortunately, they all have too much class to ask for a $5 gift card instead of something my child thought they would like. Maybe they do throw it away in private, but I hope they can appreciate the joy from a 5 year old who gets to pick out a gift and give it to a favorite teacher.

Do you really thinks the teachers here have told their students to buy them gift cards? Many times on these boards, people have ASKED for good ideas for teacher gifts. However, when teachers ANSWER this question, they are flamed. Even though many, many teachers have responded that they would prefer something handmade by the child, or school supplies, over a gift, for some reason, some posters seemed to have missed those responses, and are fixated on the preference for gift cards. And I'm sure than a gift that was obviously picked out by the child is going to be much more treasured than the BOGO gift picked out by mom.

 

[dismom2]

And I'm sure than a gift that was obviously picked out by the child is going to be much more treasured than the BOGO gift picked out by mom.[/QUOTE]

BOGO?? You obviously have no concern about a parents budget. Who cares if they took advantage of a Buy One Get One Free (BOGO) sale? Everybody is trying to do the best they can, budgetwise, around the holidays. Do you pay full price for everything? Do you ever shop sales or use coupons? Many people do, and they don't deserve to be belittled about it by an ungrateful recipient.

This comment only applies to the one's who's foot fit the shoe....

 

[mjkacmom]

And I'm sure than a gift that was obviously picked out by the child is going to be much more treasured than the BOGO gift picked out by mom.[/QUOTE]

BOGO?? You obviously have no concern about a parents budget. Who cares if they took advantage of a Buy One Get One Free (BOGO) sale? Everybody is trying to do the best they can, budgetwise, around the holidays. Do you pay full price for everything? Do you ever shop sales or use coupons? Many people do, and they don't deserve to be belittled about it by an ungrateful recipient.

So many teachers mentioned wanting notes of thanks and praise...
If I knew that some of my children's teachers were the ones posting some of these comments, they would not be getting letting saying how much we appreciate them. Some of these attitudes are truly unbelievable; appauling would be a better word. Quit worrying about how much people spend on your gift. Or, if it's good enough. If you are so picky, send a note home to the parents requesting no gifts and buy your own.
I sure hope we get more posts from the teachers who are truly thankful and grateful for the more important things in life.

FYI - I am a parent, and I'm not a teacher. And I know teachers are very concerned about parents' budgets, which is why SO many have said they'd rather have a letter, or a $5 gc, than something that they're not going to use (but was purchased, perhaps, because the parent got a good deal on it).

Most of the teachers I know would prefer a letter of thanks over a $50 gc (which some parents give). I love the teachers at our school - and I'd still appreciate every thing they do for my children, even if they tossed my peanut brittle.

 

[Jennyvelaz]

Our teacher requested all gifts be diverted to the soldiers away for the holidays. Soon, the school followed suit. We are collecting and sending instead of buying trinkets.

 

[NMW]

Most of my frineds from college are teachers and based on speaking to them, I have never bought anything "teacher themed." In the past I have bought Yankee Candles and Godiva chocolate for my kids teachers. However, I now only give gift cards. We have several Barnes and Nobles around me. In the past 3 years ALL I've given has been $20 Barnes and Noble gift cards to teachers with a card signed by my children.

Well, that's not exactly true, last year I did give my DD kindergarten's teacher one of those singing/stuffed animals in the base that takes batteries from the Hallmark store. The animals were in a sleigh or something and the entire thing moved to the music. You know the ones that are $19.99 with the purchase of 3 cards. It was only because my DD begged, and begged me to get it for her. She carried it all over the store telling me how much her teacher would love it. I caved. My DD was so excited at the class Christmas party to give this to her teacher. I had to put it in a big gift bag. The funny thing is that her teacher later told me that her own 5 yr old daughter begged her to buy that for their house and she had said "no." Her daughter was so excited to get the singing Hallmark thing from one of her mom's students! Of course, this year her 1st grade teacher is getting the B&N gift card!

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

So why is it OK to buy generic chocolate covered pretzels that benefit your DD, but it is not OK for parents to buy Godiva chocolate, candles, or body lotions? It seems that some of the PP have put a lot of thought and effort into their gifts, not just ordered ten of the same items for people whose names they don't even know. Either way, I hope your DD's teachers appreciate that you remembered them at Christmas, and I hope your panties don't get in a bunch if they post on the DIS about the parent who only gave them pretzels so her DD could earn her Brownie badge.

I don't think I've ever been guilty of purchasing body lotions or mugs for a teacher, but I am guilt of buying chocolate for them!

I'm back, and I'm not in the MOOD I was in yesterday. I just wanted to point out that I TOO have given chocolates to teachers in the past.. and I may give a token few this year, too-attached to my GC to TARGET-(I feel completely confident that a Target GC will be used in some way-unless the teacher has something against the store..anyway.) If the chocolate gets thrown out or given to someone else..I will never know it, it's just a small way to dress up (let's just call it a decoration on the GC) my otherwise drab lil GC. I usually put it in one of those small stockings with a couple of Giradelli squares..



Coming back to this thread refreshed, I honestly think that the OP and the teachers who have come on to say that some gifts are just not used are only trying to help us give our teachers something they can use..whether it be a hand crafted note from our child, lotions or candles to a teacher that we know well enough to buy these for, or a gift card from those of us who are not quite sure exactly what the teacher would like, and we still want to give them something in appreciation for taking such great care of our children during the school year.

 

[luvmy3]

Coming back to this thread refreshed, I honestly think that the OP and the teachers who have come on to say that some gifts are just not used are only trying to help us give our teachers something they can use..whether it be a hand crafted note from our child, lotions or candles to a teacher that we know well enough to buy these for, or a gift card from those of us who are not quite sure exactly what the teacher would like, and we still want to give them something in appreciation for taking such great care of our children during the school year.

I agree. I am thankful to the OP for pointing this out. I have been guilty of buying BBW sets and Yankee candles, and yes even Christmas ornaments but I never ever thought about "what happens when 23 parents do the same thing". I do have to say that every teacher, every year has been extremely grateful for the thought of the gift. There were a few who I knew liked and used the stuff but I'm sure through the years there were some that didn't. I did grab som ecute Yankee candle things to give to teachers this year but I think I will just get them GC's to a bookstore instead. I always have my kids write their own Christmas cards so we will still do that.

 

[Lady SnowElla]

Last year DD's teacher had a terrible year. Her Mother became ill and was hospitalized before Thanksgiving. She died like 2 weeks before Christmas. We didn't expect our teacher to come back before the party but she comes in along with her husband to help with the planned holiday activities.
Parents were sent a note asking for a small donation to purchase a memorial for her Mom & a Holiday gift. We ended up buying a $20 B&N card as the memorial gift so that a book could be purchased for the school library in Memory of Teacher's Mom from her class. Her Mom loved to cook so she chose a children's cook book. We took the rest of the money and tied it onto a small Christmas tree with bright ribbons. It was so cute with $1 or $5 dollar bills all over the tree. At the party the kids were so excited to give her the money tree. I actually made an announcement that money actually does grow on trees and the children found one for her. Teacher burst into tears! It seems that her deceased parents always had a money tree at Christmas for children & grandchildren. When she told the parents, we were all in tears. The kids were like what is going on. She told them it was the best gift she had hever received and she would keep the little tree forever. The money turned out to be very secondary but we made her promise us she would use it on something for herself not our kids or her kids.

 

[dlraida]

IDEA!!! 1. For the people who bought all of the horrible gifts that teachers will throw away as soon as no one is looking why not wrap the gifts in garbage bags and make it easy for them.

or...
2. If you bought gifts that you thought were perfect and have just found out that it was very thoughtless of you, why not give the gift to another mom who bought a useless, thoughtless gift too.

Call me, we can exchange I have bought gifts for 16 teachers. Lots of garbage in my house, who knew

 

[gillenkl]

I am a single mom on a very tight budget. My little one gets special help from two different teachers and she has a student teacher. I don't know if its rude not to buy for all of them. I just simply can't buy for all of them so i am sticking to just their main teachers. I would like to acknowledge them in some way. I am sure that they understand people just can't afford to get too much. I know one is a Dunkin Donuts fanatic, but since we are on a budget do you think a $10.00 gift card is too cheap? I don't want my daughter's to be the only one in their class that doesn't give their teacher anything so we will give something, but it can't be much.

$10 gift card is NOT cheap.