The REAL Longest Thread In Dis History Part 5

[Disneymommom]

Am uploading a few more photos into the photo bucket so I can post some and take up more space, lol.

 

[Trentmom]

Gorillas & Crocodile:

Now there's a croc with a snappy personality! Ha- he's going to get himself a knuckle sandwich if he's not careful.

Well, will you look at that- some of the camp's food made it downstream. But I don't think it's going to waste.

Look there that’s something you don’t see every day… I do.. Every day every 15 minutes

 

[Trentmom]

Schweitzer Falls:

(Skipper has back to falls, distracted by the gorilla/croc scene) Uh- oh, lean in back there! Lean in! (Motions to guests and spins wheel around) Whew! That was close!

And now, we're approaching the beautiful Schweitzer Falls, named after that famous African explorer, Dr. Albert Falls.

This is the backside of Schweitzer Falls, named for the backside of the famous explorer, Dr. Albert Falls.

Ahead is beautiful Schweitzer Falls, and I (wheel appears to jam and skipper tries to free) Oh no! You folks in the back lean in! Duck! Whew! That was close! (Best to use body language with all foreign crowds)

Don't worry about the waterfall; it won't get you wet. The water in the falls, like everything else at Disneyland, is completely synthetic. To the left is the beautiful Schweitzer Falls, and if you look over here to your right.... and then back to your left, you can have a second look at Schweitzer Falls.

 

[Disneymommom]

 

[Trentmom]

Nile River:

We've turned on to the Nile river of Africa, the longest river in the world, winding across more than 4000 miles.

We’ve now turned down the Nile River the longest river in all of Anaheim that’s right a whole 200 feet.

We’ve now turned down the Nile River and if you don’t believe that you must be in denial.

 

[Disneymommom]

My brother, DS, nieces, sister and my cousin having lunch at the mall in NJ on my March visit

 

[Trentmom]

Bull Elephants: Up on the Elephants bank, we have African bull elephants. Those enormous ears and great tusks distinguish them from the Indian elephants we saw earlier.

Do you know how you can tell that that's an African elephant? (wait for response)... It's because we're in Africa

On the left bank there- it's a huge bull elephant. The large sloping forehead and enormous ears mark the African bull; the second most feared animal in the jungle. On the other, THE most feared animal in the jungle- his mother in law

Look there, that’s Skippy (alt: Speedy, Dumbo) the fastest elephant in the jungle watch (lights first elephant then flashes it to the elephant on the right) Pretty amazing huh?

 

[FHS_chick_2005]

That's great, you and I and Trentmom can all watch TV together, all on Dish network.Amazing it's the same all over the US, just different time zones.

I know huh?!?!


I am LOVING your pictures mama!

 

[Trentmom]

African Veldt:

Look at that family of baboons, there's Pat & Shirley Baboon, Daniel Baboon, and the hair stylist Vidal Baboon .

Don't worry kids! That zebra is just sleeping. Those lions are his friends!

The Lions are protecting the sleeping zebra.

Do you know why it's so hard to eat zebra? You keep getting white meat - dark meat - white meat - dark meat.

Look it’s Simba and Nala from the Lion King.

How do you tell the difference between the male and female Zebras? The males have black and white stripes and the females have white and black stripes.

(Pointing) By the look of those baboons up there, something's up on the great African veldt. Ah-ha! It looks like that pride of lions has made a kill, and the clean-up crew, those hungry vultures, are waiting for their share. This region points out the basic law of the jungle- "survival of the fittest."

Oh, it looks like the entire baboon family has come down to the water's edge today, along with the other residents of the African veldt. See the striped animals over there? Those are zebras. And the big tall ones with the long necks? Those are giraffes. And the black ones over here with horns- well, I've never seen them before. They must be gnu!

We're about to enter the Africa veldt, an immense grassland home to an endless variety of wildlife- baboons, wildebeests, giraffes, gazelles, gnus, g-lions, g-zebras. (hard g-sounds)

Here's a little advice. Never play poker in the jungle, because there are lots of cheetahs around. If they say they're not a cheetah, then they're probably just a lion.

Okay, I have a confession to make. I was once the second giraffe on the grassy knoll.

Up on the grassy knoll, a fake giraffe is choking on a plastic leaf.

Just for your information, all of the animals here on the veldt are real. But their feet have been bolted to the ground for your safety.

(Pointing to Lions eating zebra) Over there is the original hard rock cafe.

Over there is an example of the first Law of the Jungle: Don't be a zebra.

Watch out for those vultures folks, they are always looking for charrion bags.

 

[Disneymommom]

DH looks more like the inmate rather than a Fed Prison employee doesn't he, lol

 

[Trentmom]

Trapped Safari (Rhino):

There's that lost safari we've been looking for. Obviously mixed up in some kind of native uprising. That rhino seems to be getting his point across, and I'm sure that guy on the bottom will get the point in the end! Hey I know that guy on the bottom, his names Juan. Ya, and it looks like that rhino is going to get a hole in Juan. Well, bottoms up, fellows!

Uh-oh... look! That safari's in a tight spot there. But that rhino seems more than willing to give them a lift.

On the bottom, there's Ahontis. Looks like the Rhino is trying to poke Ahontis.

Well- you know what they say... safari, so good-ee. So I guess we'll be moving on.

 

[Disneymommom]

All the women in my family "except one"

 

[Trentmom]

Hippo Pool:

We are now turning onto a pool of dangerous hippos, so please, sit still and don't rock the boat. These huge creatures are quite curious and could easily upset our boat. So please, don't do anything that might attract them!

Last week, they overturned six of our boats... only FIVE of them were MINE, though!

Don't worry, the natives tell me that they are only dangerous when they wiggle their ears and blow bubbles....

Don't worry, the natives tell me that they are only dangerous when they climb up in the trees and start doing big hippo cannon balls right down on top of us

How many of you are willing to go on? (Show of hands) How many of you want to turn back? How many of you are apathetic about the situations? Uh-oh... it looks like one of them's going to try to charge our boat! (shoots) Looks like we've scared them off. I bet he'll have a headache tomorrow!If we're all real quiet, you can sometimes hear the baby hippos calling for their mothers. (Low voice) Shhh- be real quite now... listen .... (leaning out of boat, yells) "Hey mom!"

Uh oh, that large hippo is going to attack us! Watch out! (shoots) I just saved your lives, folks. (pause) YOUR WELCOME! (If applause) Please. . . . Don't. . . . Stop. . .. . Please don't stop!

Now as we enter the Hippo pool, I want to tell you about a ancient ritual that they have… They place their young in the trees to feed on the leaves until they are 6000lbs and then they cannon ball through the jungle foliage to the boats below and sink them to the bottom of the jungle rivers a whole 2.5 feet down. Oh, look there’s one now (shoots up into the trees).

 

[Trentmom]

Entering HeadHunter Country:

We are now entering the most dangerous part of our journey. Shhh. . . This is a bad place to be headed.

Over there are the remains of my last crew. (pointing to the skull canoe) You can tell they had a good time. Look, they are still smiling! That's what happens after about 10 hours at Disneyland, folks. Those smiles are just plastered right on their faces.

We're entering headhunter country now... be very quiet. In that canoe over there... the remains of my last crew. They had a good time, even to the end- they're still smiling.

Shhh... we're entering headhunter country now... don't make a sound. In that canoe over there... some of the native's arts and crafts. Art's the one on the top!

We're not out of danger yet- this is headhunter territory. Remove your jewelry please. The natives have been complaining of indigestion.

I wouldn't worry too much about the headhunters. They normally only attack children wearing glowing jewelry (for night cruises)

 

[Disneymommom]

All the males in the family "except two"

 

[Trentmom]

Native Village:

The natives seem to be celebrating the kill of that lion... maybe we can sneak by. Don't attract their attention.

I studied their language in college lets see if I can translate for you… Put your right foot in, shake it all about, Put your right foot out, shake it all about…

Hey look it’s the Village People, let’s see what they’re saying.. Y-M-C-A…

This group is trying to come up with a name for themselves for their upcoming CD, they have two choices, either the Village People or Fine Young Cannibals.

 

[Disneymommom]

 

[Trentmom]

Attacking Natives:

Keep your eyes on these bushes on the right there. (Turns around quickly) They're on the LEFT this time.

(Pick the color of the shirt of a child) Head hunters always attack kids wearing (blank) colored shirts

Uh-oh, it looks like a native war party on the left. You folks, please get down on the floor. (Makes whooshing sound into mike) Ah, those are spears by the way.

sshhh sshhh shhh sshhh shhh (eventually changes from shhh sound into a panting sound. Then in a surfer dude's voice) WHOA! Great sound effects!

Women and children- stand up! All the men- get down! If they hit you with a spear, just pull it out and throw it back at them- we're not allowed to keep souvenirs. We certainly don't want you to be stuck with it for the rest of the trip.

On the left, a friendly group of native traders. Ukka Mucka Lucka... Ubonga Swahili Ungawa... Wagga Kuna Nui Ka... It's a good thing I speak their language. (Turns to guest) They want to trade their coconuts for your (wife/child/husband)... I think we should hold out for at least four.

Okay ladies and gentlemen the natives usually attack from the right hand side of the boat. (Native attack) Wait one minute here! What are you guys doing on the left side of the boat? You know I told you to attack from the right and another thing what are you doing just standing looking stupid with those spears in your hand your supposed to throw them! Get back down and try that one again! (Timing is right so the natives go back down on skippers command)

If you get hit by a spear, pull it out at throw it back. You can't keep souveniers. We wouldn't want you to get stuck with one.

 

[Disneymommom]

My computer locked up and I had to clear all my temporary internet files and start over so I'm back!!!!! I will have to find something else to write since I don't have any more photos downloaded.

Steph, sorry hope yu don't think I'm ignoring you, just posting pics and such. How was that chicken dinner?

 

[Trentmom]

Falls:

This is possibly the best gag on the Jungle Cruise if done right. Five minutes after Fantasmic ends. So that you know the people on the boat just came from Fantasmic, you pull up to the dock and use this line to test them: "Did you folks enjoy Fantasmic? Yes? well, don't worry this ride is much better". . . If many of them responded "Yes" then you know the gag will work. Now for something I've never attempted before, that's right folks, it's the Jungle Cruise version of Fantasmic! (clear throat, then wave the spotlight up and down on the backside of the water fall humming the tune of Fantasmic into the mike) Then in your absolute best Mickey Mouse impression"Some Imagination huh? he-he!"

Beautiful Schweitzer Falls is upon us again. The overhanging rock formation will afford us a different view this time. I have a special treat for you, folks. You may never have seen this before... there it is- the backside of water!

Now hold onto your seat cushions because we're about to do something really special- no extra charge. Are you ready? We're now going UNDER water!