Bummer.

Most of us here on the GF thread really like the place.

Sorry you were disappointed, but I think some of your complaints are ridiculous and even unbelievable.
I have stayed at the GF a lot and never ever ever had any problems that weren't quickly and graciously resolved. Also, I am the mom of 3 kids and we have never felt the GF was not kid friendly. OR that the GF was the least bit snooty. It is just casually elegant and it's Disney and very family friendly IMO. Every GF CM we have ever come across has been friendly - more so than any other WDW resort, even.
The towel animal thing is stupid. Sorry. I have stayed at WDW deluxe resorts for about 30 yrs now several times a year and guess what?? I didn't even know about dumb towel animals until I discovered this Disboard. They are stupid white washcloths with stickers on them. So what? We received ONE in all our visits. How would an 8 yr old even know to expect one? My dd's thought it was cute to get, but it wasn't a BIG deal & whether they receive one or not during any other stays didn't matter....if it were so important, I'd think that was kind of pathetic considering they are staying at the GRAND!!
Gasparillas is great compared to any other FF place in the WDW deluxe resorts. Have you read the reviews of Captain Cooks at the Poly???
The GF pools are much much better than the Poly pools - especially crowdwise. And, in all our stays at the GF, I have never seen them dirty or cloudy. That seems a bit of a stretch to me. We own a large inground pool so we are very aware of pool water quality and cleanliness. Maybe you just caught it on a bad day?
I can't way we've ever encountered any housekeeping or AC issues with our rooms at the Gf. We have at the Poly!!

Our "welcome" chocolate bar was a melted mess on the pillows when we arrived in our room because the AC was not working, lol.
Housekeeping....you should have phoned them and set up a morning cleaning schedule. I have never not recieved gobs of toiletries from housekeeping at the Grand. I had trouble with this at the YC and BWI, but made a phone call and they were there with a large bag full of more than I could use the whole trip!
That is a shame about your gift basket, but at least they TRIED to make it up to you. Doesn't sound like it was possible to do that, though. I have had problems EVERY single time I ordered a gift basket - but not at the GF....at YC and BWI and Poly. I will admit once I did call the front desk and they were not very nice at all - I will give you that one.

I have read, though, that you don't necessarily get the front desk when you push that button - it goes to a call center. Not sure HOW to get the front desk.
Good luck at the Poly.

Now that place for us.......

Maybe you'll fit in better??
As much as I love the GF, I know stuff happens, but your review seems really bitter and exaggerated. JMO. I thought you were kidding with most of your comments because they were SO far from what our GF experiences have been. At least you didn't let the nice upgrade to the beautiful Grand Floridian ruin your vacation, LOL.
Happy travels...better luck next time at the Poly.
Lives4Disney