The Naughty Nuts Redux: Cocktails, Suntan Oil & Barbs!

[momrek06]

The Lone Pickle Rides Again

 

[jonestavern]

Ask and ye shall receive...


"I settled myself into the plush beige 'velvet' seat of my car and unzipped my Pirates of the Caribbean lunchbox, salivating in anticipation. What treasure lay wrapped inside that shiny, neatly wrapped square of aluminum foil, resting on a pristine white napkin, waiting for my freshly washed fingers to lovingly open and devour it?

There it was…2 thick, spongy slices of white bread. Further scrutiny revealed 2 slices of honey ham, 2 slices of thinly sliced baked chicken, and a lovely slice of provolone in between. I breathed deeply, savoring the slightly salty scent of the deli meat. But ho – what’s this? There is a tinge of yellow on my provolone! Could it be…is there mustard instead of mayonnaise on my sandwich?

Excitedly, I chomped into this work of art and was rewarded with a satisfying crunch. I didn’t have time to be disappointed at the lack of mustard, because it was…instead of mustard…

A PICKLE!!!"

To hear the rest of this story, please dial 900-555-1234 from your touch tone phone. $4.95 for the first minute, $1.00 each additional minute. Just so I don't get kicked off the DIS...

Oh my dear! It sounds like such a...satisfying lunch, Liz!

 

[jonestavern]

Kar, so that pickle tickled?

 

[RobInBigKC]

Rob,
Happy Belated Birthday

Sorry about the Kidney Stone, been there done that (3 times) they Suck,
But you are right they have good drugs for them.

Thanks Keith!

Yes, and what I sold them for on the street more than covered the cost of my ER visit!

-- Rob

 

[Squidrific]

Ask and ye shall receive...


"I settled myself into the plush beige 'velvet' seat of my car and unzipped my Pirates of the Caribbean lunchbox, salivating in anticipation. What treasure lay wrapped inside that shiny, neatly wrapped square of aluminum foil, resting on a pristine white napkin, waiting for my freshly washed fingers to lovingly open and devour it?

There it was…2 thick, spongy slices of white bread. Further scrutiny revealed 2 slices of honey ham, 2 slices of thinly sliced baked chicken, and a lovely slice of provolone in between. I breathed deeply, savoring the slightly salty scent of the deli meat. But ho – what’s this? There is a tinge of yellow on my provolone! Could it be…is there mustard instead of mayonnaise on my sandwich?

Excitedly, I chomped into this work of art and was rewarded with a satisfying crunch. I didn’t have time to be disappointed at the lack of mustard, because it was…instead of mustard…

A PICKLE!!!"

To hear the rest of this story, please dial 900-555-1234 from your touch tone phone. $4.95 for the first minute, $1.00 each additional minute. Just so I don't get kicked off the DIS...

Umm Liz, have you ever considered a new career - maybe phone operator or possibly romantic novelist. I think you have found your calling, especially among those with a pickle fetish.

Oh my dear! It sounds like such a...satisfying lunch, Liz!

I'm smoking a cigarette as we speak. Ahhhhhhh....

 

[apirateslifeforme]

Umm Liz, have you ever considered a new career - maybe phone operator or possibly romantic novelist. I think you have found your calling, especially among those with a pickle fetish.



I'm smoking a cigarette as we speak. Ahhhhhhh....

Hmm...well, I don't have a romantic bone in my body...and I can't stand Fabio...

Guess that leaves phone operator

Yeah, like I've never done THAT before...

 

[Squidrific]

Hmm...well, I don't have a romantic bone in my body...and I can't stand Fabio...

Guess that leaves phone operator

Yeah, like I've never done THAT before...

Forget Flabio - use our token males - Rob and Keith. And if they aren't available, this guy is:

 

[jonestavern]

Forget Flabio - use our token males - Rob and Keith. And if they aren't available, this guy is:

I've noticed Liz hasn't responded Squiddy, perhaps she is overcome with romantic emotions? overwhemed by your generous offer to share your hunka hunka?
Perhaps she's out shopping , planning to 'gift' her new beau with a Speedo grape smuggler & the new David Hasselhoff Back Hair Removal Kit for Men?

 

[RobInBigKC]

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-female biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waitress, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde woman with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde woman with a Taser.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

"Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "No... not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

-- Rob

 

[Goofster57]

Rob,
I find your attack on the Blond population to be very offensive and uncalled for, we are all created equal I can not in good conscious condone actions like this.




OK, Are all the women gone???


You know I would gladly call Liz's 900 number, but Jean still has my Master Card and is approaching my credit limit with her purchases from Bubbles House of Toys

 

[PixiePop]

I am so glad to see all of the pickle talk lately. It makes me feel at home again.

 

[RobInBigKC]

I am so glad to see all of the pickle talk lately. It makes me feel at home again.

As long as we don't get into bragging about the size of them -- that earned me some DIS points once.

-- Rob

 

[apirateslifeforme]

Forget Flabio - use our token males - Rob and Keith. And if they aren't available, this guy is:

I've noticed Liz hasn't responded Squiddy, perhaps she is overcome with romantic emotions? overwhemed by your generous offer to share your hunka hunka?
Perhaps she's out shopping , planning to 'gift' her new beau with a Speedo grape smuggler & the new David Hasselhoff Back Hair Removal Kit for Men?

I'm broke...

Rob,
I find your attack on the Blond population to be very offensive and uncalled for, we are all created equal I can not in good conscious condone actions like this.




OK, Are all the women gone???


You know I would gladly call Liz's 900 number, but Jean still has my Master Card and is approaching my credit limit with her purchases from Bubbles House of Toys

Redheads Rule...Blondes Drool!

 

[jonestavern]

Hmm...well, I don't have a romantic bone in my body...and I can't stand Fabio...

Guess that leaves phone operator

Yeah, like I've never done THAT before...

I need a couple stiff drinks to wash down these tranqs.
Yep, that's what the Doc ordered to fight this OVERWHEMING temptation.....

 

[jonestavern]

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-female biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waitress, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde woman with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde woman with a Taser.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
6. The lady in the bikini with a moose under one arm & a beaver under the other is a professional garage cleaner

"Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "No... not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

-- Rob

Last edited by RobInBigKC : Yesterday at 05:05 PM. Reason: For some reason, the blonde jokes were more fun when LBelle was still around.

Where is that Canadian trollop?!

 

[jonestavern]

Rob,
I find your attack on the Blond population to be very offensive and uncalled for, we are all created equal I can not in good conscious condone actions like this.




OK, Are all the women gone???


You know I would gladly call Liz's 900 number, but Jean still has my Master Card and is approaching my credit limit with her purchases from Bubbles House of Toys

Goof, Bubbles says "Howdy Handsome!"

Someone named Lenny asks if you are bringing the electrical tape & hamster food?

 

[jonestavern]

I am so glad to see all of the pickle talk lately. It makes me feel at home again.

 

[jonestavern]

I see an avatar in your future Pixie!

 

[jonestavern]

 

[RobInBigKC]

Good night all!

(Sorry this post is so short -- I've already done enough writing tonight and am all "writed out". I did read back though. Night.)

-- Rob