The Meanest Mother in the World--A L-B TR, 5/05 *DONE. p.65, with one last pic*

[sheridac]

dang woman! you are slow!!

Git R Done

 

[disney4ever26]

Subscribing- You are a really good writer. Keep up the good work!

 

[Cass]

 

[MagicMe]

Hello..............anyone there???? We are waiting!!!!

You can't start such a great trip report and leave us hanging!! Can you???

 

[magicmama]

I think Kim must be off being a mom this weekend. Hopefully she'll come back as a writer soon!! It's hard to wait!!

 

[mattsdragon]

This is no longer a thread. . .it's a saga. And I'm hooked.

Better tell Doug that we just got back and his "inexpensive hobby for the kids" translated into us buying a $20 Pin commemorating Pirates, a $95 Star Wars Weekend Pin, and a $200 framed pin set that matches a beer stein we bought on our honeymoon. It's out of control in this household.

Better get going though, Cass is getting impatient.

 

[Cass]

Better get going though, Cass is getting impatient.

 

[6ofus2]

Love this report! Keep up the great work! From one mean mommy to another!

 

[tiggersis]

Great TR! Can't wait for the next post..

 

[Cass]

 

[disney4ever26]

I hope this TR will continue. I want to see the castle reaction from the kiddos.

 

[kpk89]

Jambo and welcome back, dear readers. I apologize for the extended delay since the last installment; I don’t have any particularly exciting or dramatic reason, just life in general being very busy.

• We celebrated Conor’s 7th birthday, marking a year since our fabulous supersecretsurprise trip. Ever taken a carload of first graders bowling? I have scars. Physical and emotional. But the birthday boy had a great time, as did his buddies.

• We finally graduated Sydneyralla to a “big girl” bed. Actually, we just removed the front of her crib, thus creating a sort of daybed. Her first night, she relaxed back against her first pillow in her first “big girl” bed and said “Vis -- makes – me – sooooo --- HAPPY.”

• Piper graduated from preschool, and is already impatient for kindergarten to start. She also took a little nosedive, literally. Fell smack on her nose, causing major bleeding and scariness. While I was trying to get her cleaned up and stop the bleeding, she was doing that out of control gasping cry, and said to me, “I- I wi-ih—ish there wa-as no-oh such thing ah-as GRAVITY!” That’s my girl. When in doubt, blame it on gravity. It is a law, after all.

So, that's my non-excuse. Life.

Without further fuss, I present …

Chapter 11: Crash and Jingle.

I hope you like it.

 

[kpk89]

After our busy and magical morning at Animal Kingdom, we beat feet back to OKW for a little relaxation. The idea was that we’d take naps. Right. Sydney dozed for a bit, but other than that it was all we could do to get Conor and Piper to sit down. We resorted to TV bribery, and popped in the Aladdin DVD. TV is a tool. At home they have to earn tickets to watch – at Disney, it’s used as a sedative to give them some rest. The pool factored in there, too. As in, “IF you get some rest now, we can go swim for a while before we go to Magic Kingdom.” "If" is a very powerful word. Ask GADisneyGirl. She knows.

The pool at OKW is awesome. Our first DVC visit was to the Hilton Head Island resort, in 2004 (as guests of the Enabler. See how she hooked us in with a little taste of the good life?) The pool there has a slide, and it quickly became Everest to Conor. He was not quite 5 at the time, and Doug went up with him. Conor got a little nervous, and wasn’t sure he wanted to go for it. Here’s where they separate the men from the boys. Or the moms from the dads, actually. Had I been the one up there with my little guy, even I, the Meanest Mom in the World, would have said, “OK sweetie, I’ll help you walk back down the stairs.”

Doug, being The Dad, said, “Well we’re already here. Off you go,” and gave him a little push, sending the child hurtling into the maelstrom of churning waters. Where he plunged under, and came up sputter-yelling, “I am NEVER doing that again!”

And he didn’t. If “never” actually means “not for two days.” By then, he was ready to “just try it one more time.” After the one more time, he was up and down that thing nonstop. Just because it was there. He had conquered it.

So, when we saw that sandcastle slide at Old Key West, Conor wasted no time. He was all about the slide. So much so, that as we approached the pool area, he kicked off his flipflops and bolted for the water. Whoa, there buddy. Hold up. We don't just plunge in without checking with mom or dad first, right? 'Kay, good.

I have to say, it’s not super relaxing keeping track of 3 kids under 5 at a pool. A wise friend and parent of 3 children said to us just before Sydney arrived, "Having three is a whole new ballgame. You have to go from a man-to-man defense to a zone d." Totally true, but it's tough. Especially at the pool. Especially when one of them wants to do the water slide and requires being caught at the bottom, one of them wants to play in the kidde pool, and one wants to go to the bathroom. Every five minutes. Since said frequent potty-er was one of our female children, I was the designated chaperone.

We lasted less than an hour.

And then commenced the legendary Search for Conor's FlipFlops.

Because in his excitement at getting to the pool, he didn't pay any attention to where he kicked them. And in our concern to not have him dive headlong into the deep end, we didn't notice, either. So while Doug took the kids and went to ask the lifeguard if there was a lost & found, I skirted the perimeter. Aha! I see them! But are they? Really? They're in a little pile of shoes at another family's "camp." And there's nobody nearby. Do I just take them? What if they're NOT his? I feel like I'm in a Seinfeld episode. As I stand there and stare at the shoes, willing them to jump up and reveal their true identity, a woman about 15 feet away sits up from her lounging and asks, "Um, can I help you?" I explain my conundrum, and she proceeds to wave one of the flipflops in the air and yell, (YELL!) to her friend in the pool, "Hey! Does this belong to ___________ (insert name of boy child here)?"

It did not. The friend in the pool gave her blessing for me to rummage through their family shoe-pile for the other flipflop, and I took them both gratefully. By this time, Doug and the kids had made their way back to me. The kids had determined that they'd like to keep swimming. I wanted to be away from the pool and all those people that now know I can't keep track of basic footwear.

The great thing about Disney with small children, is that no matter how much fun they’re having, there’s always something else to use as a carrot to lure them on to the next magical adventure. Or what Doug and I refer to as the “Mean Parent Salami Tactics.”

So a photo-op in the huge sand bucket was enough to get them out of the pool.

Then “Hey, let’s walk down this way to look at the boats.” Hmm. Boats. Yes mother, yes father. We’ll follow you.

Well, those boats were nice. Anybody want to take a peek in the gift shop? Oh, yes. Gift shop.

We’re not buying today, kids. We’ll just look around and see what we might like to buy. Later. Let’s go look for bunnies!

Ooh yes. Bunnies. I think we saw them overrrr … here! This way. Funny, this path is the same one that leads to the villa.

Kids! If we hippity hop back to the villa right now, you can have a bath in the gi-normous bathtub! Yeah!

They are so easy.

For the uninitiated, beware. The only way this sort of tactic works is if you never ever promise something without delivering. Good, or bad. Ask Doug about the time he came at Piper with the “You’re going to sit right here until you apologize.” I laughed and laughed. Not in front of the child, of course. I said to him, “You just bought yourself an afternoon of sitting right near her and watching to make sure she stays there.” Because Piper, like her namesake grand-nana, can be very stubborn. Very. So the two of them enjoyed some Daddy/daughter time at the kitchen table, glaring at each other all afternoon. Did I mention she was three years old at the time?

And remember that trip to Seattle? There was a mom across the aisle from us, traveling solo with two little boys. They were not being obnoxious, they were just being fidgety little boys. And she kept saying to them, “If you don’t sit still, I’m going to tell the pilot to turn the plane around.” First of all, that turned the innocent fidgeting into loud cries of protest. And violent kicking of the seat in front of them. And I’m guessing that they knew that the plane wasn’t going to get turned around. Because they didn’t stop. And she kept saying it! Oh. My. Gosh. Even as we exited the aircraft at Sea-Tac, she was saying to them, “I am going to call Grandma to tell her we are catching a plane back HOME right NOW.” Lady. As IF you are getting anywhere near a plane with your kids again in the foreseeable future. We all know you’re not. Even your kids know it. More believable that you would set up permanent residence in Seattle to avoid ever flying with them again.

Yes, my dear readers, children must always know that you will do what you say you will do. So think before you speak, because loose lips sink ships. The ships, in this case, being parental credibility and peaceful travel for all. And if you always follow this credo, you actually could bring them back into line by threatening to have the pilot turn the plane around. Because they'll believe that you'll do it.

So while Doug gave the kiddos their bubbly tubbly (eeks, not SO much bubble bath next time, ‘kay? We need to be able to locate the children once they’re clean) I prepared a feast in our home-away-from-home kitchen. Kraft Mac & Cheese, chicken nuggets and carrot sticks with dip for the wee ones, and man-salad for us. (That means salad with protein – boiled egg and sliced ham and turkey.) This is one of the things about DVC that I love. We are not obligated to drag the kids into restaurants to eat the same thing we can feed them at home-away-from-home. Our babes do really well in restaurants, but it’s much more relaxing to be able to eat in privacy after a (very) bubbly tubbly. The cost savings is probably negligible, but the atmosphere is great.

After our fancy feast, we headed out to the bus stop to catch a coach for the Magic Kingdom. Our (my) goal for the evening was to catch SpectroMagic and Wishes. Spectro is my favorite, favorite thing at the MK. I would change my very boring username to SpectroMama if I could.

Remember, I am not commenting on the length of our bus waits. Suffice it to say that the plan was to arrive at MK in plenty of time to take up positions along the route in Frontierland somewhere and get fun snacks while we waited. Instead we arrived to a Main Street mob scene, necessitating putting Conor and Piper in the double ride, and me toting SydneyRalla in the sling. Because we were afraid of misplacing a child if they had to walk.

The sight of the castle was fabulous. For all of us. I’ve seen it a half-dozen times before, and it’s always breathtaking. Except for that unfortunate birthday cake costume it once wore. Bygones. I love the gold accents that were added for the Happiest Celebration. I hope they stay. For the kids, it was their first in-person castle viewing and they were not expecting to see the soft color-changing light effects. That elicited a lot of “oooohs” and “wowwws”. There wasn’t much time to linger over it, though. We had parade-watching spots to garner.

We made it up the left side of Main Street, and found the least congested spot we could. I am normally somewhat shy and would never dream of bumping our way in front of folks who were organized enough to stake out their spots ahead of time. But we found a small opening where there were adults on the front line. And because IT’s SPECTROMAGIC, people!, I worked up the courage to ask the man if he’d mind letting our kids park in front of him. He didn’t mind. Yay! Sprinkle that man with pixie dust.

Just like at the Festival of the Lion King, the music gets me. It’s always the music. I don’t know what kind of sound system Disney has, or who does their composing, but the way they make the music feel like it’s coming from inside your own gut is amazing. Gets me every time.

The only regretful thing about the kindness of Parade Frontline Man is that I didn’t get to see the looks on the kids’ faces. But I’ve seen the wonder there enough times to imagine how they looked. And I had Sydney snuggled close and we whispered to each other about all the beautiful lights. Her favorite, of course, was Cinderella’s coach.

After the parade we grabbed a piece of curb and Doug set off in search of snacks while we waited for Wishes. The kids and I got to chatting with a nice older couple from the Midwest. They drive a Chevy Venture, in case you wondered. Conor did. When it got to be about ten minutes till showtime, they clued us in that we could actually stand in the middle of Main Street. I gave Doug a call just to let him know we’d moved.

When he found us, it was just in time. He brought ice cream sandwiches from the bakery.

Here’s another “separate the moms from the dads” moment. I would’ve gotten two, maybe three of those suckers to share amongst the five of us. Because they’re HUGE! And melty. And the kids needed to unhinge their jaws like snakes in order to take a bite. Doug brought one for each of us. Which meant we were one big happy sticky mess as we watched Tink fly off the top of the castle.

I had been nervous about how Syd would react to the fireworks. She’s not a big fan of loud noises. She and I both put our hands over her ears, and she was fine. How’s that for Disney magic?

I had read on the Dis that it’s a good idea to linger in the park after the fireworks, so as to not get caught in the crush of bodies headed for the exit.

Yeah, we didn’t do that.

The kids were wiped, and we figured the sooner we started working our way back, the better. I don’t remember how long we waited for the bus. I’m not making note of that.

But this bus ride was notable in that it involved bodily injury.

On the way back, Piper went what we like to call “supernova.” That last, sudden blaze of energy before … *poof* … the lights go out. Supernova is a silly, singing place for her. She sang Jingle Bells. She jingled ALL the way. Loudly. Back to Old Key West. But she was happy, so nobody took any notice.

Sydney, as the only member of our party who had actually napped, was holding up pretty well. She was sleepy, snuggly, slingbaby. Quiet and happy.

Conor fell asleep. This is bad. At nearly six years old he has grown able to resist sleep in most situations where a younger child would zonk. But when he does succumb, there is no waking him. I know this. That is why what happened next was all my fault. Bad mama.

As the bus rounded through the stops at OKW, and the bus emptied out, we were the last ones on board for the Hospitality House stop. We, the responsible parental types that we are, had a plan. Doug would hop off the bus with the stroller, ready it for travelers, and then come back to carry Conor out. I would take care of Miss Jingle and Snugglebaby.

It was a good plan. It would’ve worked.

But some Mean Mama had to try to be a hero.

I tried to get Conor to his feet. With one hand. My right hand. I’m a lefty. The left was wrapped around Sydney, to keep her from toppling out of the sling. So I jiggled Conor a little, and he opened his eyes and stood up. I thought he had broken pattern and was awake enough to navigate himself out of the bus. So I let go of him.

Bad move.

 

[cjhinch]

What a great trip report!! I love reading about your kiddos, I have 3 very close in age to yours, so I can totally relate! I hope Conor didn't get hurt or anything!!

Can't wait for the next installment!

 

[MagicMe]

OH NO!!!! What happens to poor Conor????

What a cliff hanger - can't wait for the next installment!!!

 

[princessjv]

What a cliffhanger... I can't wait for more!

 

[mattsdragon]

I really hope you have learned about Dole Whips and Wishes, a perfect combo.

And I forgot to add this last time. . .

94 Ford Ranger
98 Suzuki Sport
02 Ford Taurus

Just in case.

 

[reortizmarino]

Anxious to read the rest!!


My little one hates fireworks...but she say now she's going to be brave next week..I hope so!

 

[shellynn24]

Yea, more!! But to end in a clifhanger, now I need more again Patiently awaiting. (BTW I'm not very patient, I try but I just don't have it in me)

 

[sheridac]

Doug, being The Dad, said, “Well we’re already here. Off you go,” and gave him a little push, sending the child hurtling into the maelstrom of churning waters. Where he plunged under, and came up sputter-yelling, “I am NEVER doing that again!”

Kimmie!!!