~ The Man Report ~~~~~~~~~ Bonus Material Included ~~~~~~

[mrstbalt]

Too funny! I am book marking this one for my hubby to read...
sounds like him

 

[thenewmrscarroll]

AHHH!!! I am at the end of the report (so far)! What am I going to do?! Linnie the Pooh and Montana Man...I feel like I know you!

Question for the Man...what exactly are your GAT tatics? I was so amazed to find someone actually articulate the same things my husband and I feel everytime we visit Disney (and any other theme park). Teach us your ways O Master of the Crowds!

And hurry up with the posts!!

 

[mmeb144]

~ The Man Report ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~2007~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~King of GAT~~~~~~~

It was only noon now and I wanted to hit Test Track for Moan Boy then leave for the day and implement Secret Experiment #2.

Next Up: Secret Experiment #2

Did I miss something? What is secret experiment # 2? Does this have anything to do with the swim items in the trunk?

Marie

 

[Montana Disney Fan]

Did I miss something? What is secret experiment # 2?

You've missed nothing. Nobody knows what Secret Experiment #2 is yet.

Question for the Man...what exactly are your GAT tatics? I was so amazed to find someone actually articulate the same things my husband and I feel everytime we visit Disney (and any other theme park). Teach us your ways O Master of the Crowds!

My GAT tactics are pure instinct. My wife can't even GAT to good.

What I do is survey the land in front of me and anticipate crowd moves. It's a gift. One of my many powers. Drinking beer is yet another one of my powers.

What was the sign-in book? Sign-in for what?

All the previous "Guests of the Day" all signed in the book also. Not sure why..

Blue, you never made any comments about "Three Types of People" showing up late to Epcot. What gives?

I read your entire other "man" report yesterday (I skipped Survivor, if that tells you anything! )

Wow! I hope you at least recorded it!

I hope not!! I didn't do anything too weird on this trip.

Muwahahahahahaha!!

And btw, I need a new mouse (and keyboard).

Nope! That would cut into my beer money!!

 

[blue_river]

All the previous "Guests of the Day" all signed in the book also. Not sure why..

OHHHHH

Blue, you never made any comments about "Three Types of People" showing up late to Epcot. What gives?

Because you're right about #3 being "Canadians".

When you went, it was during our March break here!!!

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

Just for that beer money remark-I'm buying the most expensive mouse I can find....

Secret experiment 2-I think I know what it was! he didn't tell me it was a secret, but I bet I know. And if I'm right- it was a good one!

yeah, he's right I can't GAT good. I have a story coming up about my attempt to GAT. After my debacle, I gave up GAT for good.

I have to make dinner now so I'll post my rebuttal in a bit.

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

My GAT tactics are pure instinct. My wife can't even GAT to good.

What I do is survey the land in front of me and anticipate crowd moves. It's a gift. One of my many powers. Drinking beer is yet another one of my powers.

Teach us Obie Wan Knobie, you're our only hope!

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

I would like to make one correction on one of my earlier posts-the Epcot water WAS blue! Buzz pointed it out to me and it did really look blue. Sorry, Buzz, you were right and I’m big enough to admit it.


Now that I got that out of the way, let’s proceed….

Sleeping in was fine with me. I’m a wreck in the morning. I can’t talk for the first half hour I’m up so I just grunt to everyone. This has nothing to do with vacation, I’m just that way all the time. I made the coffee and set about getting us ready.

My gut was churning from all that crap I put in it the night before. I popped one of my pills and hoped for the best. I decided to skip the coffee, but tried one of the old donuts Buzz bought. Not a smart idea….But they were Krispy Kreme for gosh sakes-I couldn’t let them go to waste.

Buzz, I do have to say, was amazing with his GAT. I’ve never seen anything like it-we just weaved our way through the crowd like clockwork, never stopping or hitting anyone. Smooth as butter. And btw, I did keep up. I’m pretty tall so have a pretty good stride. He thinks he’s so clever-if I can’t keep up, it’s my fault. I don’t know if he realizes the catastrophic events that would occur if he lost me in a theme park. He’d have 2 very upset kids on his hands-especially Trey. He should take heed-he doesn’t wanna lose me!!!

We made it to the Garden Grille and I have to go to the bathroom. Buzz is in line checking us in so I told him to keep an eye on the kids and I vacated the area for the restroom. Next thing I know, I am in the stall and look down and here’s LeeAndra’s shoes outside my stall. She’s telling me, “Mama, they’re ready for us.” Geez, was I in there that long? My stomach is killing me so I decide to just live with it and join the rest of the crew. We were seated and told we were the Family of the Day. That was neat. The characters really came around our table a lot. My favorite part was when Chip (or Dale) grabbed one of the straw wrappers and started flossing one of his 4 teeth. That cracked me up. The meal was excellent, but a lot of money. I think it was worth it though. The kids loved it. And we got a FP to whatever ride we wanted! So of course we chose Test Track since our FP’s that we got for it were for 3:00 and no one wanted to be in that park at 3:00.

Dessert arrived and once again I headed to the bathroom. That restaurant revolves so when I got back, I went the wrong way and spend a little time trying to locate the table…. Sat down and Buzz said we were ready to go.

We were leaving and I decided to hit the bathroom one more time. Does it ever end??? I popped another pill and headed for the bathroom. My DD, bless her heart, came in with me and while we in the stall together announced in her loud girl style- “Mom you sure have to (go to the bathroom) a lot!!!” Only she’s 5 so she actually said the “p” word embarrassing me to death. We stayed in the bathroom until I was sure everyone who heard her had left.

We rode Test Track and headed to the car. I should mention we did NOT lose our car this whole trip thanks to me! For my mom’s birthday she wanted a My Li’l Reminder. Have you seen those on t.v? Well you get 2 for the price of one so she gave one to me and I kept it in my fanny pack and recorded our parking spot every time we parked. Worked great.

Secret Experiment #2 coming up!! It was so much fun!

 

[Disneyolic]

IWe were leaving and I decided to hit the bathroom one more time. Does it ever end??? I popped another pill and headed for the bathroom. My DD, bless her heart, came in with me and while we in the stall together announced in her loud girl style- “Mom you sure have to (go to the bathroom) a lot!!!” Only she’s 5 so she actually said the “p” word embarrassing me to death. We stayed in the bathroom until I was sure everyone who heard her had left.

Aw. This is definitely not something to be embarrassed about. It is more embarrassing if your child mentions someone else's noises or smells or whatever! Been there...

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

Aw. This is definitely not something to be embarrassed about. It is more embarrassing if your child mentions someone else's noises or smells or whatever! Been there...

Yeah, I think that would be worse!!

 

[Montana Disney Fan]

~ The Man Report ~~~~~~~~~~~2007~~~~~~~~~~~Secret Experiment #2~~~~~~~~


Leaving Epcot, I can’t remember where the car is parked. Lin has a little recording device she brought along and played it back.

“Growld Imignle forly-elight”.

How in the heck is that supposed to help us? It was all garbled sounding which irritated me.

Pooh says, “It’s row Imagine Forty-Eight”. Apparently it’s her own little grunting code that nobody can understand except her… and maybe Moan Boy.

We find the car, load up, and leave Epcot. I take a different road and Pooh asks “Where’re we going?”. I responded that I had a secret experiment I wanted to try. She rolled her eyes and I could tell she was trying to figure out what was up.

A few turns later and we’re at the gates of Old Key West. Lin says, “What the…”. I tell everyone to keep quiet and let me do the talking.

The gate guard saunters over as I roll down the window. I flash my DVC card and he says “Welcome Home” and lets us in!

Woo Hoo! The hard part was over with.

Next we find a parking spot near the main complex and I jump out and grab the kids swimming suits from the trunk and we have them get dressed right in the car.

Pooh knows what’s up by this time and is completely horrified by what we’re doing. She’s so nervous she’ll be caught and forced into an embarrassing situation. Ten bucks says she was the girl in grade school who was never late, sat in the front row, and did all of her homework.

I was the kid in the back, makin’ wise-cracks and writing notes to my girlfriends.

Anyway, there’s no way I’m going to get Pooh to change into her swimming suit in the car so we head towards the pool. If I remember correctly, there were a couple of bathrooms near the pool where we could both change. What I couldn’t remember was whether or not you needed a room key to access them.

Worst case scenario would be the kids would swim and we’d watch. Oh, and we’d be caught, our car could be towed or one of those “boots” could be put on it. We’d be handed over to Disney Police, escorted off the property and asked to never return after revoking our DVC membership. Ya, right.

As we’re walking towards the pool area, Pooh-head is trying to act as normal as she can and whispering to me not to draw attention to ourselves. She’s afraid of a pool repeat of the day before. I didn’t want her to be too nervous so I stayed as normal as possible for her.

The bathrooms did have slots for keys but both doors (Men’s & Woman’s) were open. Pooh-head and I both change into our suits and head to the pool.

The kids rode the slide at the pool about 25 times each. The weather was PERFECT and the crowd was medium. This felt SO much more like vacation than the pool at our dilapidated resort. There were kids laughing and playing, people jumping and splashing, lifeguards protecting, and not a single person hooked up to oxygen playing backgammon.

After a while of frolicking, I decide I need a libation and head to the bar for a deluxe margarita. As usual, Pooh pulls babysitting duty in the pool.

The bar is very small with a couple of televisions, one bartender, and a drunken Aussie whose shootin’ tequila chased by beer. I watched him shoot down three shots and one beer in the short period I was there.

I order my first margarita and catch up on the sports on t.v. I look down and my drink was gone so I order a second one (my first one as far as Pooh-head knows).

I wander back to the pool, find a spot in the sun, and kick back with my drink. Soon Pooh and the kids want a picture so I snap one of them. Pooh comes over and takes a sip of my margarita then her and the kids head towards the “beach” area where all the sand and playground equipment is.

I went and checked on the car a couple of times to make sure it’s not been towed, watch Loud Girl make a sand castle, then we decide to leave. Two hours is enough.

Once back in the car, Pooh-head is visibly relieved. That was way too much excitement for her. She’s one that always plays by the rules.

I then explain to her that we did nothing wrong. The guard let us in, and nowhere were there any signs saying that you had to be staying at the resort to swim. As far as I’m concerned, we’re just using our privileges as DVC members. She had some lame argument that there WAS a sign but since I didn’t see it, and she had no pictures to prove her story, I chose to ignore her defense.

The only real exciting thing that happened was on my only trip down the slide. I took off like a shot lying all the way back on the slide which caused me to exceed the sound barrier by the time I entered the pool. I skimmed the water half way across the pool then my legs shot straight up, my head went straight down, and I did an underwater flip in the pool causing my swimming trunks to drop to my knees. I yanked them up prior to frightening any of the OKW swimming pool patrons.

That evening, having not planned any meals, we decided to just start driving and look for a restaurant.

Heading towards Crossroads, Pooh is thinking maybe back to Giordano’s. I’d really like to try something we’ve never done before and am kinda thinking a steakhouse.

Right then I spotted the Clakshun Indian food restaurant and whip the wheel to the right and turn in. Pooh-head is like “Oh no, we aren’t eating Indian Food!!!”

Those of you familiar to Pooh-head know that her real nickname should be Pooh-butt. You also know that we’ve got as much of a chance to eat Indian Cuisine as we do to go on vacation anywhere except WDW. It just ain’t gunna happen.

Right next door to Clakshun is a TGI Friday’s so we head in there. They have great children’s meals, fantastic service, and good wine. Lin and I both order the Jack Daniels Flat Iron steaks and chow them down. The total cost of the meal was less than lunch but we had an entire bottle of wine with dinner! That Disney can be spendy.

Sure, it wasn’t a Disney restaurant, but it was really good and a new experience for us since we don’t have Friday’s in Montana. Plus they piped in some good rock music and since it was only 5 p.m., the place was empty.

I’m totally not joking what happened that night. Once again, I was woken up by the drunken college crowd. This time they rang our doorbell and raced off! I was soo mad. I called security and they answered “Yes Mr. Mills, where are the drunken pre-adults at THIS evening” or something to that effect. It was a touch embarrassing.

After the phone call I fell asleep right away. It’s a good thing too as we were headed to MK in the morning and we all know how much fun DRIVING to MK is. This is when you REALLY miss staying “on-site” so you can use the Disney bus system.

Next up: Wham Wham Wham!!

 

[KathyRN137]

~
The only real exciting thing that happened was on my only trip down the slide. I took off like a shot lying all the way back on the slide which caused me to exceed the sound barrier by the time I entered the pool. I skimmed the water half way across the pool then my legs shot straight up, my head went straight down, and I did an underwater flip in the pool causing my swimming trunks to drop to my knees. I yanked them up prior to frightening any of the OKW swimming pool patrons.

Oh, I can't wait to read Linnie's re-butt-al!

Kathy

 

[OhMari]

If this last segment was on the Resort Board, you would be eaten alive. And, I'm just warning you, I may get a few PM's reporting the pool hoping.

 

[blue_river]

Just for that beer money remark-I'm buying the most expensive mouse I can find....

Linnie --->

<--- Buzz

Sorry, Buzz, you were right and I’m big enough to admit it.

Hoo Boy - We NEED to talk girl

I don’t know if he realizes the catastrophic events that would occur if he lost me in a theme park. He’d have 2 very upset kids on his hands-especially Trey. He should take heed-he doesn’t wanna lose me!!!

I could just imagine!!!!

“Mom you sure have to (go to the bathroom) a lot!!!” Only she’s 5 so she actually said the “p” word embarrassing me to death. We stayed in the bathroom until I was sure everyone who heard her had left.

She's so funny

Really, that must be just awful. Doesn't seem like those pills you were popping had any effect.

Pooh says, “It’s row Imagine Forty-Eight”. Apparently it’s her own little grunting code that nobody can understand except her… and maybe Moan Boy.

Doesn't matter as long as she gets it.

Pooh knows what’s up by this time and is completely horrified by what we’re doing. She’s so nervous she’ll be caught and forced into an embarrassing situation. Ten bucks says she was the girl in grade school who was never late, sat in the front row, and did all of her homework.

ACKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I KNOW you're crazy

My group doesn't like to follow the rules either but there is NO way I'd take part in that ONE! Not because it's wrong, just because I really hate getting in trouble.

By the way, what is wrong with never being late for school, sitting in the front and doing all your homework??

I WAS one of those kids!

I order my first margarita and catch up on the sports on t.v. I look down and my drink was gone so I order a second one (my first one as far as Pooh-head knows).

She knows now

The only real exciting thing that happened was on my only trip down the slide. I took off like a shot lying all the way back on the slide which caused me to exceed the sound barrier by the time I entered the pool. I skimmed the water half way across the pool then my legs shot straight up, my head went straight down, and I did an underwater flip in the pool causing my swimming trunks to drop to my knees. I yanked them up prior to frightening any of the OKW swimming pool patrons.

Where's the camera when you need it????

Right then I spotted the Clakshun Indian food restaurant and whip the wheel to the right and turn in. Pooh-head is like “Oh no, we aren’t eating Indian Food!!!”

Those of you familiar to Pooh-head know that her real nickname should be Pooh-butt.

Poor poor Linnie

Loved the update
When are the pictures coming?

 

[winkers]

What?.....no picture of the "accidental" slippage of swimming trunks???

 

[Montana Disney Fan]

Picture Time!!

Poor Loud Girl just tripped over her big feet and is sad.

Garden Grill Family of the Day.

Moan Boy ain’t too sure about this dog with the big floppy ears.

The Big “Cheese” says Hi.

Loud Girl’s not afraid of nuttin’.

Chillin’ in the pool. Life is good.

Moan Boy poses by the sand. Loud Girl’s in the background building her castle.

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

Great installment, even better pictures!!!

 

[blue_river]

Loved all the pics but this one is adorable:

Any hints on what wham wham wham is about????

 

[jcc0621]

Keep's getting better & better.

 

[serendipity]

Great installment. Nice to hear about the rebellious pool adventure. When I was younger my grandmother used to work for Disney, so she had a condo in Orlando and we would pool hop all the time and no one ever said anything to us. The only place we never tried was the Grand Floridian because there's signs EVERYWHERE. Something about that place screams pretentious to me Loved the pictures, especially the one with the kids with all of the characters. VERY cute!