~The Man Report ~~~~~~~~~~ 2007 ~~~~~~~~~~Daddy Farted ~~~~~~
Our seats were in row 3. Usually we have A,B,C and D. The three of them sit on one side of the aisle all together and I sit directly across from them. It works well for us.
Well, Lin and Moan Boy ended up with the window seat and the middle seat with a
strange lady on the aisle. Across the Aisle were Loud Girl & I in the middle and aisle seats. In other words, it was “different”.
It was odd and didn’t allow me and Lin to talk much with a lady in between us but Moan Boy didn’t “bug” and Loud Girl was fine with the arrangements. She likes to sit by daddy all the time while on vacation anyway so she was happy.
Half-way thru the flight, the couple behind Linnie started to argue. I think they’d been drinking pretty heavily and I believe they were out of $5 bills for their beers. Anyway, it got pretty heated at one point when they both thought the other was withholding cash and then 20 minutes later, they were both passed out and it calmed back down. My observant wife missed the whole thing.
I was sort of leaning towards Loud Girl’s middle seat watching her DVD player with her when I started to smell something nasty. Apparently, my little girl had gas.
I was worried about the young lady sitting next to her at the window seat smelling it and thinking it was me. I started to adjust the air above our heads to help direct the stench my way when Loud Girl, with headphones on, yells; “Ooooh, yucky. Daddy Farted!”.
It was so loud. She’s loud anyway but with the headphones from the DVD player on, she was extra loud. Now people in front our turning around and looking at me and the lady next to Loud Girl is not doing a very good job of holding her laughter in. I don’t think I’ve ever been embarrassed before but now I know what I put my wife through.
Here’s the funny part. At home, whenever anyone passes a little gas, they blame mom. It’s kind of a tradition that I think I started. This was the first time that Loud Girl ever blamed me! Serves me right I guess.
Our tradition after landing is to always grab our suitcase then let Loud Girl pick out our rental car from the National Emerald Aisle. This time she chose a red Pontiac G6 which I believe replaced the now defunct Grand Am. It’s a small but very nice car with leather seats and a sun roof. For $150/week, we aren’t complaining.
I also found a GREAT radio station for those who like music from the 80’s. It’s
101.5 FM out of Tampa Bay. I had to fine tune it to that station as it wouldn't go there on
search but it came in fine and played all our favorites all week long.
It’s now 7pm on our first day and we are looking for our hotel which is on Hwy 525 near that Marriott World Center. I had read a lot of BAD reviews on this hotel but it was the only one I could find left that had two bedrooms and a kitchen. I was prepared for the worst.
The reviews were typical. Some were good and some were bad. I pay attention to the ones that are long and well thought out. These can be very helpful. Most of the complaints were about the dated atmosphere and overall age of the property which I can live with.
Believe it or not, we are NOT snobs when it comes to accommodations. We do expect certain things from hotels & believe it’s our right to have the services that we pay for. We don’t really mind if the property has aged as long as it’s well kept. You should get what you pay for in other words.
Go to
www.disneycondo.com and you’ll run across the Camsun Vacation Properties web site. We stayed in their three bedroom condo off 192 for a week once back in 2004 prior to moving onto WDW and the place was
dreadful. One night late, some criminal showed up banging on our door looking for Vladimir. We barred the doors with the table and chairs and told him we were calling the cops. Eventually, he left. What do you expect for $99/night for a 3-bedroom?
Bottom line is if you stay off-site, do a lot of research, use the DIS, and if is sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
Ok, back to the story… We finally arrive at our hotel, the
Sheraton Vistana Resort off 525, and it’s one of their vacation properties that you can buy in to like DVC. One problem though: It ain’t like DVC.
This place is OLD! I’ll bet it was something back in the 80’s. Our neighbor upstairs from our room came down to look at our furniture. She wanted to know if the 2-bedroom units had been updated since she bought in 1986. They hadn’t. She was visibly upset. The room looked even worse with all our stuff thrown all over the place and potato chip crumbs all over the floor. Moan Boy came running through buck naked having just taken off his swimsuit. Poor gal.
That being said, the place was fine for us. There was a swimming pool and hot tub right outside our room and we had a private door to it. We had a screened-in porch with a fan. There were also ceiling fans in the living room and both bedrooms which helps keep it cool. The washer and dryer were very handy and all the kitchen appliances worked just fine. Other than the age of the building and the popcorn ceiling, everything was functional and worked just fine.
The property is also gated with guards. You have to have a parking pass or you don’t get in. I felt very safe while here.
On top of that, there were four restaurants (including a Pizza Hut that delivered), a grocery store, seven swimming pools, arcades and lots of activities for those not going to the theme parks. If they’d update this place, it would be 5-star!
Check in was smooth but they tried to put the “condo-push” on me by offering $50 in cash to sit through a presentation. I gave them the old stiff-arm on that.
We got all our stuff put away by 8 pm and had a pizza delivered by 9. I went to the little grocery store on-site for necessities like beer & pork rinds then we hit the sack. We needed our rest for Epcot the next morning.
It was difficult for all of us to fall asleep that first night. We had lost two hours by the time difference then another hour was lost due to Daylight Savings. By 2 a.m. it was only 11 pm back home. At some point during that first night, I fell asleep…
…only to be awakened by the rowdy college crowd coming home from the bars. They were hootin’ and a hollerin’ and throwing beer cans around. Twenty years ago, I woulda joined them. Heck, 7 years ago, I woulda joined them. Heck, if the family wasn’t with me, I woulda joined ‘em!
But now I’m just Old Man Mills and they were annoying me. I called security and pretty soon the noise quieted down. Whew, what a LONG day. I fell asleep around 3 a.m. or so. I was going to be tired for our first day in the parks. Epcot!!
I'm not as bad as I used to be - I think it had to do with being nervous. I remember one time at work, our branch was called to a meeting in the BIG boardroom with the Chairman. There were drinks and donuts for the staff layed out and guess what I did? Knocked my orange drink and watched it make its way halfway across the table. I was horrified.
I ran to the bathroom, excited, and worked to get the stain out. The bad thing was now I smelled like a great big orange-it's very strong smelling. But my shirt was saved. 
Can't wait to hear the rest!
