I tried to send you guys an S.O.S. message from my phone yesterday, but it just would not let me post anything.
I was trying to be a winner mom by taking the kids out to the play place for pizza and taking them to the movies.
Good grief, what a day!!
The waitress, who was all of 16 and not very good at her job, called me "honey," which was very weird. Baltimore is the "Hon" capital of the world, so I'm used to it, but this was just...different.
Anyhow, my kids were climbing up the netted indoor playground, and I can hear them as they start yelling.
"Don't call my brother a ***** cat!"
"My not a ***** cat, you a ***** cat!!"
Another kid: ***** cat, ***** cat!
DS3 screaming: You're a ***** cat!
Other kid: ***** cat!
DS3: Stop it or I'll tell you to go **** in your hat!
Know what I did? Nuttin. Just sat there eating my garlic bread and acting like I didn't know who those kids belonged to.
I eventually drag them out of the play place (and I mean, literally drag them, because they don't want to get their shoes on, they don't wnat to leave).
Go to the movies, which is right next door, proceed to pay $18 to get in for the three of us, and then get 3 small sodas, a medium popcorn, three boxes of candy and spend another $25. This is why I hate the movies. I can buy the friggin DVD for $18, and not go anywhere.
Both kids pretty much liked it. DS3 kept asking when we could leave, though. He doesn't watch much TV, and didn't enjoy sitting in the dark.
I decided after the movie that I was going to ride up to my parents house, knowing my Dad was off for Good Friday. He was baby-sitting my brothers three kids. Add my 2 and you had a crazy place that I wish to never return to.
Just about the time I was ready to leave, my fathers mother shows up with her boyfriend (who is about 20 years younger and got kicked out of the retirement home for selling weed).
Well, they never actually come into the house, they just pull in the driveway and beep for my dad to come out. Which is good, because I decided to just stay in the house until they decide to leave, because I don't really enjoy the company of anyone on my fathers side of the family.
Do yall have family like that? Anyone else hide from their family? I have actually hidden behind a display of tampons in
WalMart before, just so I would not have to acknowledge these people in a public place.
Why, you ask, do I hide from my family? Because they are all crazy. And they always give you TMI. Stuff that you don't want to ever hear. There was my fathers youngest brother who was delivering one of those storage boxes to the house next door. He decided to visit me while he was in the neighborhood.
He tells me all about his cat, because he saw mine. And then he tells me all about his marriage. And then he tells me all about his stepson.
And then he tells me the scariest story of all. When he first hooked up with his (3rd) wife, they were at the kitchen table eating, and he heard a banging on the ceiling. The wife (GF at the time) ignored it. Thirty seconds goes by and there's another bang on the ceiling. Finally, the wife gets up and goes upstairs to check on her son.
"What was that about?" my uncle asks her. "Nothing," she replies.
Well, after a couple of months, and this banging seems to happen a lot, my uncle decides he HAS to know whats going on upstairs.
And he finds out. That his wife is actually wiping the butt of her 11 year old son every time he takes a dump.
Did I need to know that? Did I ask for him to tell me his deep dark secrets? Does he think this information is something I wanted to know? Did he think we were bonding over his lazy 11 year old stepson, whom I've never met?
Anyhow, that's just one example.
So there I am, hiding in my fathers house. But guess what? No dice. Dad comes in and says my grandmother wants to see me, and take the kids.
So off to the driveway I go, where her boyfriend wanted to show off his new used truck that he's so proud of. It's just one of those tiny little trucks, where grandma proceeds to tell me the payments are $350 for 4 years.
And the boyfriend tells me that this is his way of settling down, cuz he was partying too much.
Um, what? The truck will make you settle down?, I ask.
Grandma tells me that her BF likes to party, and with the new truck payment, he won't have the cash to be throwing all these parties anymore.
I'm thinking, ok, my grandma is like 80 years old, and it sounds like she's having a party at her house every night.
Then she tells me about the new trailer they moved into, how it's $105 cheaper a month than the old place, so it's $450 a month, and she pays the taxes once a year, so she's doing alright.
Then she asks if I'm working. I tell her yes. She asks if I'm still at the restaurant, I tell her no, I have my own business now (and have for 2 years), that I have a crab picking place.
Her BF automatically asks if I have some peelers I can give him. No, we don't deal with peelers, I tell him. I'm not having that doofus showing up at my factory everyday trying to get free stuff!!
Then she tells me about the crab regulations. Oh, it starts next week.
No, grandma, it starts the week after, April 1st.
No, I heard it on the radio, she tells me. Maryland is next week, and Virginia was last week.
No, grandma, Virginia started on Monday, and Maryland is April 1st.
I'm in the business, why does she think she knows more than me? Ooooh, because it's my grandma, and she's better than everyone else, so if she says it, it must be gospel.
So instead of arguing with her, I just tell her I have to leave. Twenty minutes with that woman is just too much for me.
Again, sorry this post is so long, but I'm Shore, that's what I do.
I've spent 6 years trying to housebreak him. When do you decide to just cut your losses and bring them back to the pound??
Now if we stay to eat or get it to go will all depend on #1 how I'm feeling & #2 how crazy #2DS is acting before we go.
