Jennifer!!! "Chit" almost happened to me the other day!!! HAAHAHAH!! Oh man...that is one of my few pet peeves...late delivery people!!! It is sooooooo rude!!! Speaking of "chit chat" I have a funny story for ya'll that I got from a fiend of mine today:
friend of mine claims that while flying from Seattle to San Francisco
the Flight Attendant reading the flight safety information had the
whole plane in hysterics. He took out his laptop and typed up what she
said so he wouldn't forget:
Before Takeoff:
"Hello and welcome to Alaska flight 438 to San Francisco. If you're
going to San Francisco, you're in the right place. If you're not going
to
San Francisco, you're about to have a really long evening.
"We'd like to tell you about some important safety features of this
aircraft. The most important safety feature we have aboard this plane
is
"The Flight Attendants!" Please look at one now.
There are 5 exits aboard this plane, 2 at the front, 2 over the wings,
and one out the plane's rear end. If you're seated in one of the exit
rows,
please do not store your bags by your feet. That would be a really bad
idea.
Please take a moment and look around and find the nearest exit. Count
the rows of seats between you and the exit. In the event that the
need arises to find one, trust me, you'll be glad you did.
We have pretty blinking lights on the floor that will blink in the
direction of the exits. White ones along the normal rows, and pretty
red ones
at the exit rows.
In the event of a loss of cabin pressure, these baggy things will drop
down over your head. You stick it over your nose and mouth like the
Flight Attendant is doing now. The bag won't inflate, but there's oxygen
there, I promise. If you are sitting next to a small child, or someone
who is acting like a small child, please do us all a favor and put on
your mask first. If you are traveling with two or more children, please
take a moment now to decide which one is your favorite. Help that one
first, and then work your way down.
In the seat pocket in front of you is a pamphlet about the safety
features of this airplane. I usually use it as a fan when I'm having
my own
personal summer. It makes a very good fan. It also has pretty
pictures. Please take it out and play with it now.
Please take a moment now to make sure your seat belts are fastened low
and tight about your waist. To fasten the belt, insert the metal tab
into the buckle. To release, it's a pully thing - not a pushy thing
like you're car cuz you're in an airplane ~ hello!
There is no smoking in the cabin on this flight. There is also no
smoking in the lavatories. If we see smoke coming from the lavatories,
we
will assume you are on fire and put you out. This is a free service we
provide. There are two smoking sections on this flight, one outside each
wing exit. We do have a movie in the smoking sections tonight, hold on,
let me check what it is . Oh here it is, the movie tonight is 'Gone with
the Wind'.
In a moment we will be turning off the cabin lights, and it's going to
get really dark, really fast. If you're afraid of the dark, now would
be a
good time to reach up and press the yellow button. The yellow button
turns on your reading light. Please don't press the orange button
unless you absolutely have to. The orange button is your seat ejection
button. We're glad to have you with us on board this flight.
Thank you for choosing Alaska Air, and giving us your business and your
money. If there's anything we can do to make you more
comfortable, please don't hesitate to ask. If you all weren't strapped
down, you would have given me a standing ovation, wouldn't you?"
After Landing:
"Welcome to the San Francisco International Airport. Sorry about the
bumpy landing. It's not the captain's fault. It's not the co-pilot's
fault. It's the Asphalt. Please remain seated until the plane is parked
at the gate. At no time in history has a passenger beaten an airplane
to
the gate. So please don't even try. Please be careful opening the
overhead bins because shift happens.
Is that a hoot or what??? Just a little comic relief on this Friday!
Jennifer, I AM honored!! And Marilyn...that STINKS!! I would be furious...esp about the cell phone!!! That was a pretty thoughtless move!!
Hey! I got Harry Potter tickets for tonight!!!! WooHoooo....quidditch anyone?? Hee hee...stood in line for 30 minutes with some adult "closet" Harry Potter lovers waiting for tickets. Can't wait!!!
Long post
We're gonna take a back way to the theater, too. 
