The Inability to Hear Another Point of View

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

On the flip side, why do people give their opinion about more than what the OP asks for, especially when they ask a very specific question? i.e We're a family of 4 and staying at our favorite resort POP and just want to know when the buses start picking up in the morning? You would think that you would get simple answers. LOL
You will see posts like "family of 4 in a value room I could never do that, have you looked at a MOD or renting points?" OR "we hate using the busses you should use Uber... and then that just opens the door to more opinions that are off the OPs subject. LOL

You'd be surprised how many times details are either unknown to the OP (like options available to them) or things slipping through the cracks because they never considered xyz. When the threads are more about trip planning more information outside the scope of the question is often better.

I would have never ever thought of renting DVC points unless I read about it on here and I doubt most of the public is even really aware of DVC on much of a level to even know about it either. And in your example I'd say the discussion about the efficiency of the buses will matter. Pop is going to have skyliner as its priority/main transportation option nowadays.

And it usually is easier on the OP if they are not looking for that information to include that in the OP.

From my own example we didn't know that the JR Pass for Japan's rail system was experiencing a huge increase in price until it was mentioned on my Japan thread I created. I did mention the JR Pass but I never asked for input on pricing and we hadn't at that time considered piece meal train tickets in lieu of a multi-day because the pass was superior. Well not after having such a price increase.

Proving your point here on the subject by giving far more than your comment was about but truly it's not going to be a hard "don't give more opinion or information than the OP asked for" situation. Or at least it shouldn't.

 

[DCLMP]

Definitely agree. I'd rather have a discussion with someone I disagreed with than talk about songs with the word "song" in them. Some people apparently don't understand that it IS okay to disagree with someone, AND it's ok to say so.

If people started the sentence with "I disagree with you and this is why"...... it would be fine. That's usually not how things go on social media.

 

[gmi3804]

On the flip side, why do people give their opinion about more than what the OP asks for, especially when they ask a very specific question? i.e We're a family of 4 and staying at our favorite resort POP and just want to know when the buses start picking up in the morning? You would think that you would get simple answers. LOL
You will see posts like "family of 4 in a value room I could never do that, have you looked at a MOD or renting points?" OR "we hate using the busses you should use Uber... and then that just opens the door to more opinions that are off the OPs subject. LOL

There’s a current thread about which view was more desirable in Grand Destino Tower at CSR. Sure enough, the first reply was, “I like exterior hallways and always request the Ranchos section.”

 

[sam_gordon]

If people started the sentence with "I disagree with you and this is why"...... it would be fine. That's usually not how things go on social media.

So they just skip that phrase and go into why the other person is "wrong"? Sorry, still don't see a problem.

 

[gmi3804]

So they just skip that phrase and go into why the other person is "wrong"? Sorry, still don't see a problem.

Is it OK to use filler words like "so" and "I mean" and "personally" before every thought?

 

[DCLMP]

Replies are known as "threads" for this very reason. They weave here and there and everywhere. However, I would find that a reasonable and helpful response that could be things the OP never considered.

A lot of times the best threads are the ones that weave here and there. Sometimes when things get too heated a change of subject is needed to keep the thread from being shut down.

As far as giving vacation advice I think most people are just trying to be helpful and even if OP didn't learn anything from it someone else might have.

There's been many times when I've done Google searches and added "disboards" at the end of it and found numerous threads on what I was looking for. The same goes for Reddit. Most questions I have have already been asked and answered.

 

[DCLMP]

So they just skip that phrase and go into why the other person is "wrong"? Sorry, still don't see a problem.

I don't see a problem either as long as people are respectful, but not usually how things go. This forum is a little more civil because it's moderated.

 

[tony67]

I came here for an argument

 

[DizneyFamof4]

There’s a current thread about which view was more desirable in Grand Destino Tower at CSR. Sure enough, the first reply was, “I like exterior hallways and always request the Ranchos section.”

Exactly! I understand that the majority of posts are open for a lot of different opinions, but I am trying to point to the small % of posts that are very specific on what they are asking and getting answers like what you posted above.
I also just read a thread where the OP specifically says that they have stayed at POFQ before in a standard view room, but for their upcoming trip they want to stay in either a pool or river view room and wanted to know which of those 2 view rooms may be better. Well, I am sure you can guess, they got replies where posters were saying why they think it's a waste of $$ to pay extra for a view and how they wouldn't do it. I am not sure how, basically criticizing the OP's choice, is very helpful. Now if the OP asked if people thought paying extra for a pool view is worth it, then by all means these replies are relevant.

 

[DCLMP]

Exactly! I understand that the majority of posts are open for a lot of different opinions, but I am trying to point to the small % of posts that are very specific on what they are asking and getting answers like what you posted above.
I also just read a thread where the OP specifically says that they have stayed at POFQ before in a standard view room, but for their upcoming trip they want to stay in either a pool or river view room and wanted to know which of those 2 view rooms may be better. Well, I am sure you can guess, they got replies where posters were saying why they think it's a waste of $$ to pay extra for a view and how they wouldn't do it. I am not sure how, basically criticizing the OP's choice, is very helpful. Now if the OP asked if people thought paying extra for a pool view is worth it, then by all means these replies are relevant.

Maybe because the pool or river views are potentially a waste of money? You might have to look right or left to get a small glimpse of a pool or river. Unless you are on a cruise ship where you pick your room and location upgrading to a room with a view is always a gamble. I read the thread in question and I thought the responses were very helpful.

 

[MIGrandma]

Unfortunately, it usually tends to get nasty. Why some people think they are going to change someone's values, opinions, or political beliefs is beyond me.

Oh, I have changed my view before, particularly about gay people. After a good discussion I realized I needed to be more accepting. It was a respectful discussion, and very thought provoking. But when someone calls me stupid or ignorant for having a different opinion than theirs is when the line is crossed.

 

[DawnM]

Sometimes things go sideways and it is frustrating. For example, Sally posts a thread asking for opinions on which dog to get and says specifically she is looking at a golden retriever or a yellow lab and wants to know which she should get. She may even have two dogs in mind and adds details about each dog (age, disposition, current conditions, etc....)

Then people come on and tell her that she should get a goldfish and give all the reasons they dont' have a dog. And others join in with their own version of something NOT really answering the original question OR making huge leaping assumptions based on their own lives that is completely irrelevant to the OP.

Message boards can be weird.

I once asked about which laptop to purchase for my son going to college and the responses I got were crazy......here are some of the "recommendations" that had nothing to do with specific laptops.

• He's an ADULT now mom, time to cut the apron strings and let him get a job and buy his own computer!
• I hope you aren't buying a laptop and paying for his college! When I was in college (insert story of walking uphill in the snow both ways or some such drivel)
• Do NOT buy X or Y computer, their company policies are garbage and I would never purchase from them! (can't remember the reason, may have been labor laws or something)
• Let HIM figure it out Mom.....lay off!
• Please tell me he isn't doing to X college! That is a horrible college for all the reasons I am going to explicitly state here (and then you find out his niece got expelled from this "terrible" college.). Sigh.

The thing is, I didn't ask for parenting advice, I didn't even ask for opinions on my son's college. I simply wanted to know which computer they would recommend of the 3 options I was given BY THE UNIVERSITY!

So, yeah, sometimes we aren't interested in the "differing opinions" because it is irrelevant to the question asked.

 

[gmi3804]

Sometimes things go sideways and it is frustrating. For example, Sally posts a thread asking for opinions on which dog to get and says specifically she is looking at a golden retriever or a yellow lab and wants to know which she should get. She may even have two dogs in mind and adds details about each dog (age, disposition, current conditions, etc....)

Then people come on and tell her that she should get a goldfish and give all the reasons they dont' have a dog. And others join in with their own version of something NOT really answering the original question OR making huge leaping assumptions based on their own lives that is completely irrelevant to the OP.

Message boards can be weird.

I once asked about which laptop to purchase for my son going to college and the responses I got were crazy......here are some of the "recommendations" that had nothing to do with specific laptops.

• He's an ADULT now mom, time to cut the apron strings and let him get a job and buy his own computer!
• I hope you aren't buying a laptop and paying for his college! When I was in college (insert story of walking uphill in the snow both ways or some such drivel)
• Do NOT buy X or Y computer, their company policies are garbage and I would never purchase from them! (can't remember the reason, may have been labor laws or something)
• Let HIM figure it out Mom.....lay off!
• Please tell me he isn't doing to X college! That is a horrible college for all the reasons I am going to explicitly state here (and then you find out his niece got expelled from this "terrible" college.). Sigh.

The thing is, I didn't ask for parenting advice, I didn't even ask for opinions on my son's college. I simply wanted to know which computer they would recommend of the 3 options I was given BY THE UNIVERSITY!

So, yeah, sometimes we aren't interested in the "differing opinions" because it is irrelevant to the question asked.

How about, "UPS dented the outer box during shipment. I'll never buy a MacBook again!?"

 

[gmi3804]

I love the threads like, "Has anyone been on Seven Dwarfs Mine Train?"

 

[sam_gordon]

I picture message board threads as no different than conversations between people.

To use the example above, if you're talking to a group of friends and mention you're purchasing a laptop for your son, someone might make the comment "cut the apron strings, let him buy his own computer", along with the other comments.

On a message board, you're not just talking to 4-5 friends though. There's probably at least 50 people that will read a thread if not more. The more people that "hear" YOUR comment, increases the chances of getting responses you don't want.

If you want to make sure you ONLY get the responses you're looking for, I suggest not posting on a message board and just asking friends (which will of course cut down on the number of people who "hear" you).

 

[DCLMP]

Oh, I have changed my view before, particularly about gay people. After a good discussion I realized I needed to be more accepting. It was a respectful discussion, and very thought provoking. But when someone calls me stupid or ignorant for having a different opinion than theirs is when the line is crossed.

My political views have changed and evolved over the years, but that's from becoming more informed over time. I don't think I've ever had one person change my mind on anything. At least not in the moment of a spirited discussion.

I enjoy listening to others' points of view just to get an idea of why they think as they do. I never go into a discussion thinking I'm going to change their mind. I agree that gaslighting, insulting, and sarcasm never end a debate in a good place.

 

[DCLMP]

What's funny is this thread was titled "Inability to hear another's point of view". It turned into a thread about threads going off-topic. Kind of ironic.

 

[Starport Seven-Five]

To use the example above, if you're talking to a group of friends and mention you're purchasing a laptop for your son, someone might make the comment "cut the apron strings, let him buy his own computer", along with the other comments.

Among friends they have the background to make such a statement. Seems odd to tell a stranger that based on one question as you have no idea the history or what they do for their children. Making inane suggestions like that is a great way to put your foot in your mouth.

This goes back to what I said earlier: some people just like to hear themselves talk. No one is forcing anyone to reply to every thread here. Use the back button if you don’t have relevant information for the question asked.

 

[sam_gordon]

Among friends they have the background to make such a statement. Seems odd to tell a stranger that based on one question as you have no idea the history or what they do for their children. Making inane suggestions like that is a great way to put your foot in your mouth.

OK, a group of "people". You (general) KNOW people on message boards aren't going to know your background.

This goes back to what I said earlier: some people just like to hear themselves talk. No one is forcing anyone to reply to every thread here. Use the back button if you don’t have relevant information for the question asked.

By the same token, if you get a response you don't like, didn't want, etc, simply skip over it. No one is forcing anyone to follow the advice given.

I do agree some people just like to hear themselves talk.

 

[tvguy]

Among friends they have the background to make such a statement. Seems odd to tell a stranger that based on one question as you have no idea the history or what they do for their children. Making inane suggestions like that is a great way to put your foot in your mouth.

This goes back to what I said earlier: some people just like to hear themselves talk. No one is forcing anyone to reply to every thread here. Use the back button if you don’t have relevant information for the question asked.

Well, as they say "is the glass half full or half empty?". What may seem an odd reply to you could also trigger a epiphanic moment for the OP.
Those kind of discussions happened several times throughout the day in my job as we decided what stories to cover in the news. Something that may be odd to me, may have been common for someone else and vis versa. For example, I laughed when someone suggested we do a story on the fact that if you have a dog, it is required to be licensed. "Everyone with a dog knows that" I said. Apparently I was VERY wrong. A large portion of our staff did not know that, and we did the story and judging from the feedback we got from viewers, a lot of our viewers did not know that either.