The happyhaunts' Rooms Without a View! Chapter 'o soup ~ Pg.40!

[Chapter 11]

Nice ankles

Just as long as you don't call her Melicious.

Meleterious? Meluded? Melinquent? Certainly not Melightful (at least, not the part about the vomit bag).

 

[ncseric]

You've got Chutzpah, Mel!!

Did she get that from being a Ho or from playing with her Dookies?

 

[zigzagzerr]

Hey!! Shout out to all my Fighting Banana Slugs peeps!! Yep, the University of California at Santa Cruz really does have the Banana Slug as its mascot. My alma mater. And, yes, it really was pretty clothing optional when I was there, complete with co-ed dorms

Me(l), I love your trippie. I hope you didn't get caught with a fishhook or eaten by a bear or anything. Hope your camping trip was .

Sorry for the OT (and late) response -- but since I just looked at your siggy line, we are the same age and were probably even Fighting Banana Slugs at the SAME TIME!!! Whoo hooty!!!!

True story regarding my clothing optional alma mater -- a few years after graduation I took my (east coast conservative) husband to see the campus. It was election day, and as we drove up to the front entrance there was a line of college students in (nothing but) trenchcoats, flashing the cars going by, and spelling out "V O T E" on their tummies. A fabulous first impression....

Sorry to interrupt....carry on. Great report, Me(l).

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

'Cause you won't be getting them in Chapter 6.

Alrighty.

I prefer the handle "Melinquent". 'Cause that's pretty funny. I don't care who you are?!

Right ncseric?!

Although, I'm forced to report The Chapster to the mods for flirting violation. Along with FRICK! Again, as usual. And I think...errrr...Celery, too.

Heh heh.


Ok.


Back to the Tale of Two Mellys:


The happyhaunts grab our carryon crap and head off of the plane. I'm first. Of the five of us to head out. I gotta get off the plane ASAP. I don't CARE if we forget our camera bag or third child. I'm OUTTA there. I pass by the pilot and say, "Bye. Thanks!". And head out to the ramp. I was absolutely STRUCK by the pilot. BTW. So I turn and say, "Mel! Didja get a look at the PILOT! He was about 10 years OLD!".

Except I'm not talkin' to Mellyman.

I'm talking to our PILOT. Who, I guess, had decided to follow me off the plane.

He smiles and says "Nope. I'm 15."

Oopsy DOOKEY!

Me(l) BAD!

I laugh and wait for Mellyman to catch up so I can tell him about my tiny faux paS. (That's a small French mistake. TFI. Like...forgetting to properly thank the Americans for liberating France in Normandy! For over 60 years!)

Anyhow... he wasn't really listening to me. He kept pushing me forwards and saying, "Mel, keep walking! Why are you stopping?! There's a half a plane of people about to run us over!".

Oh yeah.


We get into the terminal and gather together as a flock of happyhaunts.


Everyone has to go to the bathroom.


Especially Me(l).


Who has had a beer on the plane. A glass of tomato juice. And finished Beth's mostly full cup of Coke. B/c I didn't know what to do with it otherwise. When I wanted her tray up.

I say, "OK. We'll meet outside the bathrooms. Let's go! BREAK!". Clap!


And I dash with my bursting bladder towards the bathroom. Carrying about three bags over my shoulder. Thinking... "I'm not gonna make it!" All rumpled from the flight of terror. Pale, freckled and nervous!


I run like Woody Allen!


But... with less athletic prowess.


Then we all meet up again. Outside the doors. And head towards our first MONORAIL ride!

We climb aboard and I remind Tommy to "HOLD ON!".


He crosses his arms in front of him.


"Hold on. Or you'll hurt your head real bad!" I caution. Again.


He refuses.


And, b/c I aspire to being all-powerful. I think. I tell him that unless he holds on... the monorail won't move. An inch.

The monorail starts going.


Pretty fast.


And Tommy bounces into us like a small stubborn 6 year old who wasn't hanging on properly.

We all sprint to the baggage claim area.

We find a spot to drag our mountain of luggage to. And while Beth, Calvin and I stay and wait for our bags to appear... Mellyman takes Tommy firmly by the hand and heads out to get our rental car organized. They'll come back and help us with the bags when they're finished.

We don't see our bags.


But, in about three minutes, I see Calvin on the luggage conveyor belt. Kneeling down. For safety. And about to head through the flaps into the bowels of the airport.

AGAIN!


I yell his name and go haul him off the conveyor belt by the waistband of his shorts.


"Did you not try that last year?! What are you thinking? That you'll just get off on the other side and find our suitcases yourself?! Just stand beside me and wait. Please."!

Of course he doesn't.


He skips merrily away. Towards Beth. Fluttering his hands up in the air.


"CALVIN! CAN IT!"!


He was getting his inevitable Fairy Timeout outta the way. Beating me to the punch as it were.

Anyhow... we got into our zone. Beth stands by the beginning of the conveyor belt. Points out our bags as they come out. Calls my name, "MOM!", as they appear. So that I'll go retrieve them and bring them to Calvin who is our guard. It's a miraculously efficient system. Except for the "MOM!" part. Which applies to about a quarter of the room. And sometimes gets a little confuzzelling.

We found all our bags! Except the booster seat.

So we gathered together to people-watch. And wait for it.


We were actually watching people to see if any of them had grabbed our booster seat.

And Calvin was, again, playing a couple rounds of Dookey Dookey Ho. With the strangers in the terminal.

Finally our booster seat appears. We can tell it's ours by the many stains on it.

'Nuff said.

Mellyman and Tommy come back with the rental stuff and we all head out to find ourselves a car.

We all drag and carry luggage. Even Tommy. He pulls Beth's bubblegum pink Heys X-case.

Mellyman tries to make him switch and take another. But he really likes it. It clashes wonderfully with his bright orange Go Diego Go knapsack. That he's wearing.

Mellyman tries again.

He's afraid that Tommy will bump it into something and get a mark on it. And Beth will fly into a pre-teen rage.

But, not really.


I think my beautiful bride wanted to be the one trundling the pink Barbie case through the Orlando Airport.

Mellyman is SO flamboyant and ostentatious. Sometimes.

Heh heh.

We made our way to the row of mid-size cars and picked a GOLD one!


Of course we did!


Well... MELLYMAN picked it.


I told Liberace and the kids to hop in and we'd be off to DISNEY! BAYBEE!


But, not before "Melerace" repacked the whole car. We could barely fit all of our crap into our little gold rental!

There were kids and suitcases and a booster and carryon bags and purses and two adults and a VERY ITCHY ARM... crammed into every inch of our ride.

But... we DID all fit.

And tore outta the parking garage with our sunglasses on. And LOW RIDER by WAR... blaring from speakers.


We drove like the wind. Like Lindsay Lohan avoiding a Virgin Colada. Like Britney Spears avoiding a salad. Like POSH Beckham avoiding a smile. Like POSH Beckham avoiding a healthy weight range. Like David Beckham avoiding POSH... and the finding of his missing cojones. Like Eddie Murphy avoiding a paternity test!

OK. I'm done. Whew.


Until we abruptly pulled over to the side of the road. To shuffle all our gear and find my changepurse of American change. For the freakin' TOLL BOOTHS!

Found the change!


And got back on the road. AGAIN.


We were headed to Downtown Disney.


Specifically to The Earl of Sandwich!


B/c last May we had planned to eat there on our first night when something went wrong.


Or instead of "wrong"... I mean "typically happyhaunt"!


B/c although we are Irish... we have the LUCK of the Kurds.


ANYWHO... there was NO BREAD. That night last May at The Earl of Sandwich.

They were unable to MAKE FREAKIN' SANDWICHES!!!!!


If you can believe it.


No freakin' sandwich bread at The Earl of Sandwich.


And there was NO WAY Mellyman was pining for The Earl of Small Garden Salad.


No way. No how.


I mean: Doesn't "Earl OF SANDWICH" and "Sandwich BREAD". Go together?!


Like Elvis and Gladys.

Like Elvis and fried food.

Like Elvis and appaling black velvet paintings.

Like Elvis and Butt-head.


Oh.


Sorry.


That's BEAVIS... and Butt-head.


HEH HEH!!!!



Cheers, Melly.

 

[OhMari]

Liberace-Your gold vehicle- Just to let you know, Liberace was born in Wisconsin-how would you like to have that known tidbit for a state you live in.

I hope you liked Earl of Sandwhich-I was so hyped up to eat there and when I found out it was the same place I ate at 4 years earlier, just a different name now, I was so let down. My sandwhich tasted like it was 4 years old too. I don't know if we just hit a bad nite or what.

 

[ncseric]

Then we all meet up again. Outside the doors. And head towards our first MONORAIL ride!

The non-o-rail, as I like to call it. It's got two rails. It's a bus on a track. It's a pump-fake. But it does have the same guy doing the voice (Jack Wagner - not the soap opera guy) as at WDW.

That's BEAVIS... and Butt-head.

I see the family resemblance. Huh, huh... she said butt.

 

[celerystalker]

I don’t think I flirted with you in my last post.
And I definitely don’t flirt with you in my signature anymore because I got a signature violation.
Yep, you guessed it!
Your humour is against DIS guidelines.

But I’ll flirt with you now!

Oh Mel! You have the stinkiest van! And the most stained booster seat!
I you!

And I’d love you even more if you’d go read my trip report.

 

[praisehisname]

Too much good stuff in there to quote it all! When you were driving out of the parking garage, I was wondering if you would stop and ask someone for directions to DisneyLand!!! Are we gonna get to see a picture of your gold car???

Denise

 

[nicolemarie]

Like Elvis and Gladys.

Like Elvis and fried food.

Like Elvis and appaling black velvet paintings.

Like Elvis and Butt-head.


Oh.


Sorry.


That's BEAVIS... and Butt-head.


HEH HEH!!!!

I wish I could be a fly on the wall in your mind. How in the world you come up with the things you say, I'll never know.

But I hope you keep on keepin' on. Cause you are one funny chick and this installment had me ROLLING. Melerace.

Thanks for the laughs...

By the way, I'm lovin' the pic of the shoes. I decided to buck my own rules this last trip and I wore non-running shoes in the evenings. It forced me to slow down. And it was fun to feel more...girly.

But I would NEVER wear a heel that high to ride a surrey bike. Girl, you are asking for a broken ankle!!

NM

 

[Frickles]

We drove like the wind. Like Lindsay Lohan avoiding a Virgin Colada. Like Britney Spears avoiding a salad. Like POSH Beckham avoiding a smile. Like POSH Beckham avoiding a healthy weight range. Like David Beckham avoiding POSH... and the finding of his missing cojones. Like Eddie Murphy avoiding a paternity test!

I'm a ded girl!

Mel!!! You said "Freakin" in this chapter and you forgot to put (NOB). tsk tsk

Keep cranking it out because this is some good stuff sweetie!!

 

[DJR]

I laugh and wait for Mellyman to catch up so I can tell him about my tiny faux pa.

So is this the light spelling of faux pas, or a reference to a small imitation father figure? Must be a Canadian thing.

Your description of the happyhaunts exit from MCO makes me think of athletes in the transition areas of a triathalon. If they ever make deplaning an Olympic event, my money's on you.

I think I need a nap now.

You get a moped.

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

So is this the light spelling of faux pas, or a reference to a small imitation father figure? Must be a Canadian thing.

Your description of the happyhaunts exit from MCO makes me think of athletes in the transition areas of a triathalon. If they ever make deplaning an Olympic event, my money's on you.

I think I need a nap now.

You get a moped.

Wake UP! I freakin' fixed it! Hap?

Now.


So irascible, DUDE!



Cheers, Mel

Oh.

BTW... I ALSO fixed twwo OTHER errers YOU MISSD!!!!!!!!!!


HA!

 

[DJR]

My aren't we cranky today!

I think you've been spending too much time out in the woods. Done a tick check lately?

Here have a banana

 

[Tanya90210]

Love the update.... just one thing I wonder .... Is the Koala no more???

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

My aren't we cranky today!

I think you've been spending too much time out in the woods. Done a tick check lately?

Here have a banana

Whatdaya MEAN: CRANKY?!


I'm not cranky. But I do have a headache. Fever. Fatigue. Joint stiffness.


And a bullseye rash on my lower left calf.


Plus... to make matter worse. Our pet deer is feelin' poorly too.


Cheers, Mel.

 

[HaleyB]

Oh thank goodness, we landed safely at MCO.

AND Mel took Gold in the MCO exit event (Summer Olympics).

Excellent.

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Oh, don't worry. There will B more chapters than 9.

After all... I'm just finishing off with Day 1.


Sigh.


Also... I've noted more than a few violations running through this thread. Apart from my own. And I'm going to report ZZUB to the mods for improper grammar, bad dancing and other assorted crimes of fashion.

Just to mess with him.


Then I will break the legs of DJR's stupid bananaman.


On to bidness:


The happyhaunts landed safely in Downtown Disney. We circled around for three centuries looking for a parking spot. It was darn busy there. And it crossed our minds to just drive our car up over a curb. And leave it in the nicely manicured bushes. But... we...errrr...I have recently gotten a couple of speeding tickets. And I...errrrr...Mellyman didn't want to push our luck.


Finally we stalked a couple and their small child successfully. Through the parking lot. And waited patiently for them to load their packages, child and stroller into their van. While honking madly. And peppering their ride with spitballs.

We got a space. Is what I'm getting at.


Then I clicked the car lock 18 times. Beep. beep. beep. beep. beep beep beep beep beep beep.

More beeps.

Can't be bothered.

For each beep of mine... Mellyman walked faster. Away from the car. And me. Leaving me alone with my OCD. Two of our three kids. And a multiple personality. ISH.

The four of us caught up with Mellyman and Tommy. And we headed to The Earl of Disappointment.

'Nuff said.

But, not really.


It's not my nature to just leave that alone. My "Nasty Mel" won't let Me(l).

Heh heh.


Luckily "Nasty Mel" is usually too busy with The General, my extended family and other crap to make appearances. In this thread.


Anywho... where was I?


Oh yeah.


We walked through the BLASTING HEAT of Downtown Disney. Stopping only for the relief of Stitch's Spitbath. And headed into an even HOTTER ZONE!

Easy! Easy, Nasty Mel.


We walked into The Earl of Sandwich and noted that it was, IF POSSIBLE, even HOTTER than Courtney and Ryan!

Inside.


I think it was more humid and crowded INSIDE the Earl of Cutbacks. Than outside. In the heat of a Florida June.


We took a look at the menu and decided what to order. Mellyman wanted the Jerk Chicken sandwich. I opted for the Beef and Bleu. Tommy wanted PB$J. Calvin wanted the tuna melt. And Beth wanted the Chicken Caesar Salad. Mellyman also wanted a beer. A side of coleslaw and to get the heck outta there.

I knew this because I saw him bent over the beer display case. Arms braced and eyes. Closed. Face about three inches from the goods.

"Beth? Is Daddy deciding on a beverage?" I asked.

"I guess." She answered.


"Mellyman! What do you want?" I called over.


"Winter."


Oh. And he wanted a Bud. To boot.


I sent the kids to drag their father out of the Earl of Overhype. And waited to place our order.


As I waited in a line longer than Test Track's... Calvin raced back in to ask me to order him and Tommy the tomato soup.


ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GOURD?!!!!!!


I thought.


I said, instead, "Calvin are you serious? Or just trying to kill your father?"


He said, "I really want to have soup. I want Tommy to have soup too.".




Ok.


NO SOUP FOR YOU!


I thought it loudly and I think he heard. He went back outside.


I could see through the front doors that they scored a table in the partial shade.


Oh goody. Gumdrops.


I placed the order and added a beer for myself and a side order of the potato salad too.


I'll do anything for good potato salad. And this IS good potato salad. From what I could remember from two years ago.


I'll even pay a buck and a half for a fair-sized portion.


What I'm saying is this: The sides at the Earl are good and tasty. Fair sizes. Pretty great price. Nothing to complain about there.

They didn't take my DDE. Tho.

Oh well. They took my credit card. With NO problem.


And I went to wait for the sandwiches. Beth's salad also looked good. It was freshly made and had a good amount of chicken in it. Freshly grated parmesean cheese and nice big premium croutons. Enough dressing but not too much.

B/c that is just plain NASTY! NONastyMel.


I popped out the door and called Beth to help me carry the food.


She came in and our number was called promptly. At the Earl of Jameverthingintoabagfastintheassemblyline.


We got situated at our table. And unwrapped our sandwiches.


They were MUCH smaller than both Mellyman and I remembered.


It was about 1/2 the filling. As two years before. It was more bread than meat and cheese.


Prompting me to ask, "Where's the beef?" In my Beef and Bleu.


Prompting Mellyman to comment on his lack of chicken in the jerk chicken.


Prompting Calvin to wonder why his tuna melt was called a tuna melt. When there was nothing much MELTED on it.

Prompting Tommy to look at HIS sandwich. And grunt happily. And dive in.


Prompting Beth to say, "Wow! I'm glad I ordered this salad. It's HUGE!"


Prompting Mellyman to ask if he could try it.


The sides were good.


The place is now called... The Earl of Sides. In the happyhaunts' book.


Along with some other stuff.


See above.


But we ate every bite. And every bit. We were the somewhat disappointed, over-heated, sitting outside in June in Florida, soup-skipping, Wendy's slogan stealing, hungry happyhaunts.


And b/c the experience didn't live up to our expectations. Or our memories. We found ourselves heading to Goofy's Candy Whatever to ease our pain.


After checking out the trays of goodies, fudge, crispy treats, cupcakes, marshmellow logs and other laughingly MASSIVE desserts.


I decided that I would skip it all. My tooth literally ached from just lookin'. NOLa.


And my shorts felt tighter.


And I don't have much of a sweet TOOTH. Anyhow.


The kids went for good old-fashioned candy. From the bins. And Mellyman paid.


While I took pictures of the stuff we weren't buying.


Then we headed out.


To go back to our car. And head for the All-Star Movies. Resort.


Yep.


It was dark.


It was getting late.


We'd had a long day. And wanted to just crash out. Get a real good nights sleep.


Under the watchful eye of a freakishly BIG ominous Jack-in-the-Box.


In a room built for four.


Cheers, Mel.

 

[Disfan3]

EVEN HOTTER THAN COURTNEY AND RYAN


OMG I AM SO DEDDEDEDEDEDEDEDEDEDEDEDEDED


Mel's bringin' the funny back. I want a picture of the gold car...Mel. I also want to know what kinda crazy wears those shoes on a bike?????

 

[kpk89]

Hi Mel! Glad to see that you're back, in full force. Well, not totally full force, else you'd be finishing those other two reports as well. But, good enough, eh?

Loving your latest tripe, too much so to even pick any stuff to quote and paste.

Roll it ...

 

[PrincessV]

It was about 1/2 the filling. As two years before. It was more bread than meat and cheese.

Listen, you wanted some bread this time, no?

Prompting Beth to say, "Wow! I'm glad I ordered this salad. It's HUGE!"

That-a girl!


Thanks for the after-dinner laughs!