The happyhaunts' Rooms Without a View! Chapter 'o soup ~ Pg.40!

[Tanya90210]

heheh... that was a hilarious chapter... i don't know what was funnier... the drunk dude... or the fairy namecalling lol

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Just a few replies!!! And a thanks for reading this crud. All around.


tina la ~ I agree! Why bother having kids if you can't use them for funnin'?! Heh heh. Listen...my Dad was The KING (NOElvis) when it came to grinding Me(l). But GOOD! When I was a sensitive, emotional teenager...

Ok.

When I was a teenager. We'd be somewhere in public he'd grab my hand and start skipping. He'd sing in front of my boyfriends. But real low. So only I could make out what he was singing. It was: "I Think You Are An Oscar Meyer Weiner." FBI. He'd answer the phone and tell my friends I was busy either a) In the bathroom, b) In the john, c) playing Barbies, d) listening to my Bay City Rollers albums, e) singing in front of the mirror, or f) putting my teeth in.

Wow. He was really funny. He killed me!!! What I'd give today for him to embarrass me again. Once more.


Jami ~ Good grief! JAMI! I've miss'd ya. Thanks for dropping by. Roll Tide!

Yak ~ I wuvs ya too. Or, I used to. Until you brought the YellowThing.

ILuvWishes ~ Thanks! No prob! I love Wishes too. BTW. Borg.

mikymouse ~ I will never surrender. To suitable footwear. Well... unless I get bunions. NOZZUB. Corns. NOZZUB. Callouses. NOZZUB. Hammer toes. Fungal infections. Ingrown toenails. Lazy eye. Dandruff. Male pattern baldness. Bad breath. Gout. Cauliflour-shaped fatty deposits in my buttocks. Rabies. Two extra fingers. Adult acne. Rage. Scurvy. A permanent wave. Mad cow. Chronic IBS. Tetris. And a watch. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO yada blah and NO...ZZUB. Or else... lose a tooth. NOLa.


Celerymycelery. Stalker. ~ I'm a floater. It's the truth. Back when I weighed 112 pounds. I was STILL a floater. Oh. You don't HAVE to wear a lifejacket. You can decide for yourself. But I think it looks HOT. And... my beautiful bride is pretty hot. Especially in a lifejacket. Just not on the couch. Lovin' wit the chips.

Tanya ~ Thanks Dude. My pleasure. Roll TIDE!!!


ZZUB ~ Shut up.

 

[TheDISneyFamily]

ummm... nevermind...

 

[DJR]

You are SUCH a liar.
See, I know.
(Now comes the part where I share too much on Mel's trip report. I seem to do it a lot.)
Back when I weighed over 300 pounds, snorkeling was easy cuz I just floated on top with my snorkel mask so I could see the fishies.
Now that I weigh just over 200 pounds, snorkeling is not so easy. Cuz I don't float anymore. Even though my butt is still relatively ginormous compared to the rest of me.
What I'm saying is this: YOU LIE! You weigh like nothing! You have to remember, we've seen a full body shot from you at O'hana. It's not like you've got a huge rear that would allow you to float.
So your ability to float is a true talent and not due to your BMI.

Except that Mel has already told us that she is a back floater

I'm a floater. Which, I realize, doesn't sound too complimentary. But it's true. I love to just float on my back in a pool. Like a starfish. Endlessly. I also realize this doesn't make my BMI sound real stellar.

So I guess we can figure out what's keeping her afloat

Glad to see you have blessed us with another chapter. Think you'll be done by Christmas? Not that you will have finished, but will you have quite by then?

 

[PrincessV]

"I'm a floater" Heh, heh. Heh.

Good stuff Mel. I understand you carry a distaste for Bananamen, so I'll offer three hippies in gratitude. Dude.

Peace.

 

[tina_la]

are you sure we're not related.. my dad singing Oscar Meyer still rings in my head.

or making up new words to christmas carols... or easter songs... or any songs he didn't know all the words too.

so of course i do this with my own children. it's genetic. poor kids. kinda like male pattern baldness.

now i will borrow your evil laugh... heh.. heh

 

[Chapter 11]

Except I don't let them point them at anyone's face and pretend to shoot.


I'm not OK with that.

Well, it's fairly obvious neither of your boys is ever going to grow up to be vice president.

 

[NJRRK]

Well, it's fairly obvious neither of your boys is ever going to grow up to be vice president.

Does Canada have a Vice President?

 

[Chapter 11]

Does Canada have a Vice President?

Who knows? It's not a real country anyway. Besides, I think Mel really lives in a trailer park outside of Poughkeepsie, along with 37 cats. All of whom are now named Zzub.

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Who knows? It's not a real country anyway. Besides, I think Mel really lives in a trailer park outside of Poughkeepsie, along with 37 cats. All of whom are now named Zzub.

Not only is CaNaDa... a REAL country.


We're bigger than you!

And... we're ON TOP!


Baby.


Heh heh. Heh heh. Heh.


Cheers, Melly.

 

[Yzma and Kronk]

Mel ~

You forgot....

Our loonie is also worth more than the greenback.

Double Heh-heh!

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Mel ~

You forgot....

Our loonie is also worth more than the greenback.

Double Heh-heh!

I'm so very glad you brought that up.


I am.


B/c the LOONIE is at an all-time record high of $1.08 today. Forget parity!!!!


On par is... OLD NEWS!!!! Baybeee!


I know this b/c my husband heard it on the radio when his alarm went off this morning. And he shook me awake, much too early for his own good, weeping for joy.


It's one of the downfalls of living with one of those emotional and creative types (cremotives) we call... "Bankers".


Heh heh.


What this all means is that Yak and I need to teach our American Disfriends the *NEW* lyrics to a favourite Canadian song of ours by the fab Barenaked Ladies.


Ok. Come on now! Feel free to sing along. Loud and free. It's YOUR cubicle space at work, after all! Yours and no one else's! And if you want to sing. You should! Oh. Also make sure you give your square domain an appropriate name. NOZZUBicle.


All together now, my Ameri-friends:


If I had a million CANADIAN dollars... I'd be richer!


Now that was fun. Wasn't it?!


Yep.


Oh yeah. I now have only 1 cat named ZZUB left, Chaps. It seems cats are dropping like your dollar!!! Around here. And your dollar is dropping like cats named ZZUB!


Heh heh.


Cheers, Mel.

 

[kindakrazy2]

Not only is CaNaDa... a REAL country.


We're bigger than you!

And... we're ON TOP!


Baby.


Heh heh. Heh heh. Heh.


Cheers, Melly.

Sing it sister!


Long time reader and laugher and nearly pee in my pantser.....new poster!

Just had to chime in and laugh at the poor americans with their whimpy dollar! Must be 'cause its made out of paper, eh?

 

[lisalonglash]

I'm so very glad you brought that up.


I am.


B/c the LOONIE is at an all-time record high of $1.08 today. Forget parity!!!!


On par is... OLD NEWS!!!! Baybeee!


I know this b/c my husband heard it on the radio when his alarm went off this morning. And he shook me awake, much too early for his own good, weeping for joy.


It's one of the downfalls of living with one of those emotional and creative types (cremotives) we call... "Bankers".


Heh heh.


What this all means is that Yak and I need to teach our American Disfriends the *NEW* lyrics to a favourite Canadian song of ours by the fab Barenaked Ladies.


Ok. Come on now! Feel free to sing along. Loud and free. It's YOUR cubicle space at work, after all! Yours and no one else's! And if you want to sing. You should! Oh. Also make sure you give your square domain an appropriate name. NOZZUBicle.


All together now, my Ameri-friends:


If I had a million CANADIAN dollars... I'd be richer!


Now that was fun. Wasn't it?!


Yep.


Oh yeah. I now have only 1 cat named ZZUB left, Chaps. It seems cats are dropping like your dollar!!! Around here. And your dollar is dropping like cats named ZZUB!


Heh heh.


Cheers, Mel.

Oh yeah!! Some economists are saying that it's going to go to 1.26!!!!! Yeehawwwwwwwwwwwwww

Lovin' the monetary turnaround here!

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

The happyhaunts headed back to our room to get ready for dinner. Dinner was supposed to be at the Plaza Restaurant in the Magic Kingdom because we were planning on watching the SpectroMagic Parade.

For the first time as a family.

We hadn't gotten around to seeing it yet. Somehow. It must not go through Frontierland.

I think.

Anyhow... we wanted to eat in the Magic Kingdom and do some rides and whatnot before the parade.


But then, as I was showering up we started discussing it and found out that nothing they had on the menu was particularily appealing to us for dinner.

Yep. You read that right. I was showering.


In the shower.


Which suddenly became busier than a polling station:

Calvin: Mom? Can I have a snack.
Me(l): No. We're going to eat soon.
Calvin: Did you know the door is unlocked?
Me(l): No. Don't tell anyone.
Calvin: Ok. DAD!!!! Mom's fallen and she can't get up! Heh heh.
Me(l): (sigh)
Mellyman: Mel?
Me(l): OH FOR PETE'S SAKE!
Mellyman: What do they have on the menu at the Plaza?
Me(l): Burgers, Reubens, Tuna, Salads... you know?
Mellyman: I don't feel like that tonight.
Me(l): I'm in THE SHOWER!!!!
Mellyman: I'll ask the kids if they're up for something else.
Me(l): Goody gumdrops.
Beth: Mom! Where are my jean shorts?!
Me(l): I'm in the shower.
Beth: The door was wide open.
Tommy: Can I pee?
Beth: Yep.
Mellyman: Let's see if we can get into the restaurant here. You think?
Me(l): Fine. Tommy...don't flush it.
Tommy: Ok.
Me(l): Who just flushed that?! Tommy?!
Calvin: Me.
Me(l): You're lucky this system can stand it! You're also lucky I'm shaving me legs right now or I would...
Mellyman: The General's on the phone.
Me(l): I'll call her back. Obviously. Ask about the cat. Oh, Melly?
Mellyman: Yah?
Me(l): I beg you to leave me alone now.
Mellyman: Oh. Sure honey.
Me(l): Tell Calvin he's next. BOY... is HE NEXT!


I finished up in peace and quiet.


I also let Calvin have his shower in peace and quiet. That's because I'm super duper kind. And I wouldn't want to subject him to the same unpleasant experience I had just had.


Plus he locked the damn door.


When everyone was clean. Pretty and shiny. We decided to wander downstairs and see if we could get into Artist Point without a ADR.

And proper dress.

It was about 5:45pm. It looked fairly empty and, YES, we were IN!

Like Flynn!!!

With about a five minute wait.


BONUS!!!!


We were lead through to a round table in the front and middle part of the restaurant. There were a few other tables full around us and there was this one family dressed entirely in white. A mom and dad and two little children.

They were lovely. And VERY dressed up.

We were in shorts. T-shirts. Flips. Except for Mellyman who looked half decent in a nice collared shirt and cargo shorts.

All business on top. All party on bottom.

Anyhow... we sat down and checked out the menu.

It looked pretty darn good.

In fact, the whole restaurant was beautiful. Calm. Quiet. And the views were GREAT!!!! Unlike a certain premium studio accomodation about a mile away. As the crow flies.

Much further walking it.

We met our very charming server and he asked us for drink orders.


The kids wanted pop. And that's what they ordered. Tommy likes to order first. And he's all business. He asked for what they have. He thinks about it. He orders Coke. And then... he changes his mind two to three more times. And forgets to say please.

We make him say please and thank you. And then Calvin does the same. Darn. Thing.

Beth always orders Coke. Unless she orders chocolate milk. Or rootbeer. And then changes her mind back to Coke.

Yeah. We tip OK.

Especially at places we're planning on returning. NOChefMickey's.


Then I order a beer.


Do I want a light beer?


No. Why? Do I look fat in this shirt?

Heh heh.


No... I never want a light beer. Light beer is for children.


Then Mellyman orders a Bloody Mary. Extra spicy.


Oh.


Then I cancel my beer order and order a Bloody Mary too.


Yeah. That's when our server knew he hit the jackpot. Of crap.


We got our drinks and enjoyed the view:

Oh. Pardon Me(l):

And... saving, for last, the BEST THING EVER. NOPrivateRyan.

A giant wedge of sweet, creamy spreadable love: BUTTER.


Oh baby.

And that's all I care to say about that.


Then Mellyman and I got the Smokey Portabello Soup. For our starters.

Mellyman noted to me that it was full of roasted shiitake mushrooms which he absolutely loves. And, yes, he STILL pronounces it "Shiit-ache". Which I absolutely love.

I also fondly remembered an anniversary of ours a while ago where he ordered extra BASIL on his make-your-own-gourmetish-pizz. Which already had PESTO SAUCE on it.

I absolutely loved that too. BTW.

This is the Soup of Dreams:

It's so good I nearly screamed "DADGUM IS THIS GOOD!".

It was so good I nearly picked up a southern accent.

It was so good I nearly made a big noisy fuss. But since I was now nearly a southern lady... I didn't.


Instead Mellyman and I looked at each other and exclaimed, "Crap!"!!!


In a good way.


And I told Mellyman that I believed that this soup was Nature's Perfect Food.

Chips come in second.


Then... we tried our mains:

And this was mine. And it was just wonderful. A big bowl of tiny dead critters to pry outta their former homes. And eat with a sauce of their own juices, wine and fennel.

Plus a big piece of crispy bread to transport more butter to Me(l).

Mellyman had this:

A bunch of tender marine mollusks. Already pried from their bi-valve homes. Leaving just the adductor muscle. Served with bacon, onions, fava beans. NOHannibalLector. And... corn. NOMel.

They were amazing also.

I don't know what the kids ate. Oh. Yes I do. Pasta and burgers.

They were happy with their meals.


But Mellyman and I were VERY HAPPY!

And we told both our server and the chef himself when he came around to chat with the guests.

He was nice and he was heading to Toronto, CANADA. In a month or so.


We told him a little about Toronto. And a little about Canada. Actually... I talked a lot and he nearly sat down and had dessert with us.


I told him about our secret Canadian Manifest Destiny Plan.

I told him that while pretending to be funny, polite, friendly and overly apologetic... we were actually planning on taking the U.S.A. over.


Ok.


I didn't. And we aren't.


Or ARE we?


But... just know that we... COULD!


Not.


And you're all pretty lucky. 'Cause we'd make some changes. Not specifically in this order:

1. We stop raising cows for food. And go with moose. And buffalo. And backbacons. Errr... we'd still raise pigs. Obviously. Pigs are important.

2. We'd force you to put the french language on all your signs and labels. But we'd understand your pain.

3. You'd eventually hear the haunting call of Tim Horton. Twice a day.

4. We'd replace "Syrup". With the real stuff.

5. We'd make your children learn to play the fiddle.

6. We'd make you embrace Hockey Hair. All business in the front. All party in the back. Except for ZZUB. For obvious reasons.

7. You'd cook with beer. Yes. You'd cook everything with beer.

8. You'd learn to wear a Kenora Dinner Jacket. And the proper etiquette for getting stinko on a Sudbury Nite.

9. We'd make you rename your pets Casey, Finnegan, Chester or Annie.

10. You'd eventually appreciate the Zamboni. And its wisdom.


Alright. That's all I've got.


Out.


Melly.

 

[OhMari]

When I was little, my cousins lived near a crick-small river and we used to pick these out of the crick. We would watch the snails inside move and we would scream our heads off. Never in my life have I ever tried to eat one. I just don't know how people do it. We did eat the frog legs though, when we caught a frog.

Nice update. Why does everyone dump their ADR's for The Plaza. I bet if you tried to get in there without a ADR it wouldn't happen.

 

[kpk89]

Well, Mel! Good to see you back. Times 5.

Tell me, when you take over, will all of the regular bacon be replaced with Canadian bacon?

It was good to read a little snippet of your girls trip with Beth -- feel free to throw in a chapter of that one any time you're getting bored with this one.

 

[Tanya90210]

Don't you just love mommy showers.... you never get full peace and quiet... it's just not meant to be I guess...

Great Update

 

[AshClan]

Well, Mel! Good to see you back. Times 5.

Tell me, when you take over, will all of the regular bacon be replaced with Canadian bacon?

Um, Kimmie, I think it's called Ham. Ask Frick, she's the pro.

And OhMari, those aren't snails, silly. They are MUSSELS! Personally, I don't love either. I'm a steamer girl myself (clams, baby).

Melly, I have been reading and laughing and sometimes even crying with laughter, but just realized I hadn't posted lately. So here I am. Posting. And still laughing. Just had my boys read the lazy snake river chapter. (A classic, BTW.) My youngest fell to the floor, doubled over. I'll send you the ER bill. You're a rich Canadian. You can afford it, eh?

And if your lovely bride is looking for some turkey to hunt, I've got a yard full of 'em there for the taking. He can help himself.....

 

[javamom]

Those look a lot like the wonderful mussels at the Flying Fish, minus the pesto in the fennel chardonnay broth that they steam in.

I love them. Now I must try the mussels at Artist's Point...