Subj: Ruth Ashley
?
Great, now Ill never be able to look Borgin in the eye again.
--Posted by daddylusciouslocks
Re: Subj: Ruth Ashley
?
And Ill never be able to look Rosy in the eye again. Of course, that has nothing to do with her being on my R.A.B. list and everything to do with the fact that shes a basilisk.
--Posted by thedarklord666
This is me, Nagini, using the BabelFish translation system to translate this message from Parseltongue
Sept 26
And now, my friends (or, to use a better word, minions), it is time to take a trip to the Department of Backstory. So many of you faithful readers have asked why I have such little interest in romance. Well, I could give you a short answer or long one, so Ill give you both. The short answer is, I have a birth defect-- not a physical deformity, but a deficiency of love. But I wasnt born without hormones, so thats what caused the long answer scenario to happen.
So whats the long answer? Well, picture me, sweet sixteen. I had a nose then, and hair, and actually, I was quite the Slytherin stud. Yes, I had it all-- brains, looks, teachers eating out of the palm of my hand, loyal followers, and adults never suspected a thing about the evil plans I was concocting. But there was one thing that I didnt have-- there was a girl in my year who was absolutely stunning. She was beautiful, intelligent, Scottish
what more could a boy ask for? She was as tall as a five-foot-seven inch tree, her flowing black locks glistened like nose hair after a sneeze, her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the middle, and she caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again. Her name was Minerva McGonagall.
Subj: WHAT?!?!?!
omg wut do u mean u wont go out w/ any1!>??,!1?!? minreva mcgonnigle is sooooo [CENSORED] she is such a [CENSORED] [CENSORED] her [CENSORED] is lyk so [CENSORED] [CENSORED] [CENSORED] SHE IS THE BIGGEST [CEEEEENNNNNSOOOOORRRRREEEEDDD] EVAH!!1!!!11!!eleven!~!
--Posted by x_voldy_is_teh_hotness_
Re: Subj: WHAT?!?!?!
Now, now, Bella. Its one thing to glorify murder and senseless violence, but when it comes to language, I want this blog to be a family-appropriate community. The only cursing I want to see is Crucios and Avada Kedavras.
--Posted by thedarklord666.
Subj: You wore eyeliner?
You really wore eyeliner when you went to school? I knew I wasnt the only one! I knew that somewhere
out there
there must be
--Posted by prettynpureblood.
Subj: Youre kidding me
Draco, I just read your post. I thought I told you that you werent allowed to wear the eyeliner, because Malfoy men are real men, not eyeliner-wearing sissies! Youre grounded, young man, and no computer for a month. AND NO SINGING!
--Posted by daddylusciouslocks.
chaptor 4 reader questions
Posted by _Dumbledores Girl_ from MNFF: What is your fav kind of pop tart? And the question we've all been dying to know... boxers or briefs? Lol I'm weird!
The Dark Lords Reply: Ill agree to the last statement. Well, well, well, lets see... My favourite kind of pop-tart would have to be strawberry Kellogs, the frosted kind with the nice little sprinkles on top. Not only are they amazingly tasty, but they also are highly effective for blowing up toasters. (The unfrosted kind works, too, but the frosted kind taste better, and that light pink glaze just makes my mouth water.)
And the answer to your second question?
Neither.
No further comments.
Does Santa Claus exist? He once did
What? Dont get mad at me! I NEEDED the North Pole for my evil power base! The Claus-ster was putting up too much of a fight; he wouldnt desert it quietly! I HAD to take it by force-- I had no other choice! And besides, those elves make excellent henchpeople.
the Gryffindors beat the Slytherins 5,679,833.2 to 0 in my one and only game as a Keeper back when I was in school. (THE SHAME!!!)
despite not being possible
Posted by prettynpureblood: When will you return my set of DVDs of the first five seasons of Power Rangers?
The Dark Lords Reply: Ive told you a million times, Draco! When Im good and ready! (Except for the good part. Ill NEVER be good!)
Posted by riddled from MNFF: How do you integrate log to the base e to the power of x squared?
The Dark Lords Reply: Why dont you get a life? Theyre on sale at Volde-Mart!
Posted by Strict_n_Scottish_Prof, aka Minerva McGonagall; forwarded by Alias_Tonks from MNFF: Oh, Voldemort, I'm so sorry about what I did to you! I was young and unready for a real relationship with a real man! Forgive me, please... and just don't wear eyeliner to our date, OK?
PS: [CENSORED] you, Bellatrix!!!
The Dark Lords Reply: Oh, Minnie! You have truly made my night! Are you really fo shizzle?
Posted by Strict_n_Scottish_Prof: No, of course not! If possible, this blog made me like you even less, and your description of me was NOT flattering!
The Dark Lords Reply: Youre a meanie, Minnie.
