The Duggar Family

[DianeV]

Curious what would have happened if somehow Josh was able to meet a girl who isnt in their little circle and wanted to be with her? Doubt that would be allowed but then again he probably wouldnt have had that opportunity anyway

 

[badblackpug]

How is abusing a child ever a right choice??? Irealize that most poeple are willing to just throw what I have to say out becuase there is now a convinent reason to do so, but I am tellnig you that this family has all the hallmarks of what I lived. Those girls have no choices in life .They will be married off to be baby machines. My firends were married off into servitude. I don't understand how having lived what they are living means I cannot identify it when I see it, or that anything that I observe should automatically be tossed out the window. If anything I should have more insight than the average person becuase I have been there. Nothing else I say is going to make any impact, becuase my experience has become a convinent reason to write me off as biased.

Actually, no, I find your view insightful. I am sure there are things that go on when the cameras are off that we are not aware of. I have been reading on this quiverfull thing, and I am disturbed by the belief that women should be subservient. I know from reading about the polygamist groups that the girls are encouraged to "be sweet" as part of this subservient attitude, and to me it sounds like the quiverfull attitude is no different. I would think that these children are taught to repress any negative feelings they have toward their roles and to smile for the outside world. I am also pretty sure that there is some not so subtle psychological pressure to adhere to these principles. I am sure that these children are either subliminally or overtly threatened with being ostracized from their community and family if they choose not to pursue this lifestyle. I do think it is sad that the children are not given the chance to make their own decisions regarding their life goals. If you are an adult and you choose this lifestyle, then so be it. If that is what makes you happy, more power to you.

I won't discount the good deeds that the Duggar family has done for others. If they are truly doing these things for charities sake, then that is lovely thing. My issue with "missionary" trips is when people help other people with the aim to converting them to your religion. I think if you choose to do good deeds, you should do them without an ulterior motive.

 

[Rosiekins]

I have to say this. Do those kids look at all unhappy about taking care of each other? They still play and have fun but they are learning to be productive human beings. Historically children had more responsibility and been more well behaved (politer and more respectful) then today, I think these two things go hand in hand. I think they are doing their children a favor having them so involved with each other and if you watch the show you would see that Michelle does a lot. She teaches, cares for the kids, helps cook, prays, loves, gently corrects behavior etc...

Those kids will be good mothers, fathers and hard workers. They will understand community, not be self centered and be caring individuals. I love that Femininity is encouraged instead of being taught as something evil, because it is not. They (boys and girls) will have a better understanding of what a homemaker really is, a hard working person who is willing to love and care for her family. It is a job and hard and I admire everyone who does it. I greatly admire the Duggars and wish them only the best.

And to the person who implied god was telling them something with Baby Josie's plight. For Shame!

 

[aduck126]

those people scare me. They are pretty much breeding their own cult.

 

[Luvchefmic]

You know I said it a few pages back please explain WHY people continue to use the term "breeders" or "breeding" it disgusting when speaking of human beings

 

[MomtoEmIs&Ow]

OP- I don't think they are hurting when they make something like $50,000 an episode!

 

[SeansMom]

How is abusing a child ever a right choice??? Irealize that most poeple are willing to just throw what I have to say out becuase there is now a convinent reason to do so, but I am tellnig you that this family has all the hallmarks of what I lived. Those girls have no choices in life .They will be married off to be baby machines. My firends were married off into servitude. I don't understand how having lived what they are living means I cannot identify it when I see it, or that anything that I observe should automatically be tossed out the window. If anything I should have more insight than the average person becuase I have been there. Nothing else I say is going to make any impact, becuase my experience has become a convinent reason to write me off as biased.

I appreciate the courage it took for you to write all you've written in this thread. Your lived experience is better research than anybody elses opinion. Kuddos for speaking out.

I have to say this. Do those kids look at all unhappy about taking care of each other? They still play and have fun but they are learning to be productive human beings. Historically children had more responsibility and been more well behaved (politer and more respectful) then today, I think these two things go hand in hand. I think they are doing their children a favor having them so involved with each other and if you watch the show you would see that Michelle does a lot. She teaches, cares for the kids, helps cook, prays, loves, gently corrects behavior etc...

Those kids will be good mothers, fathers and hard workers. They will understand community, not be self centered and be caring individuals. I love that Femininity is encouraged instead of being taught as something evil, because it is not. They (boys and girls) will have a better understanding of what a homemaker really is, a hard working person who is willing to love and care for her family. It is a job and hard and I admire everyone who does it. I greatly admire the Duggars and wish them only the best.

And to the person who implied god was telling them something with Baby Josie's plight. For Shame!

1) I watched the older girls reaction when the Mom announced yet another pregnancy on television, and those girls looked like they wanted to scream STOP!!! They did NOT look like they were at all happy with another additon.

2) Having known several adults who came from large families (the largest was 13), they have ALL said they got saddled with taking care of the younger kids and did NOT appreciate it, nor did they feel they got all that much care and devotion from their parents. (these families were all religious, although Catholic and Mormon). In any case, my closest friend from the largest family opted out of having kids, as she felt she spent her childhood raising kids. How is this healthy?

3) I know we Americans think the world and the earth OWES us fresh water, oil, food, etc., but resource wise, this is selfish. Even using "used" clothing, their carbon footprint is huge for one family. If you're not of a philosophical/green bent, you won't get that, I think.

those people scare me. They are pretty much breeding their own cult.

They scare me too.

I think somebody already said this, but if God/dess is responsible for everything, I would think she would be happy to provide permanent sterilization for either parent. If nothing else, it would be safer as once preeclamptic, chances are high it will happen again, not to mention the drain on stores that happens with each pregnancy (iron, calcium, and iodine are just a few nutrients that baby's extract whether or not Mom has enough for herself). Isn't it her responsibilty to God/dess, children, husband to care for her body so she can care for them???

 

[badblackpug]

Okay...serious question here for those of you who are more familiar with this quiverfull concept. Are there any exceptions to the ban on birth control? Like in the case that a pregnancy could threaten the life of the mother, or if the resulting children wouldn't survive? For instance there are exceptions to the fast during Ramadan. Children under 12, the elderly, the sick, and pregnant or nursing mothers are not expected to fast because of the possible health risks. Is the use of birth control ever acceptable?

 

[DMRick]

They are pretty much breeding their own cult.

I don't know about a cult, but I thought that was the idea with their religion, to populate the earth with like thinking people. To take over the political offices.
Someone worked out (I haven't checked the math) that if every Duggar Child had 19 kids, Michelle and Jim Bob would have 361 grand kids. If their grand kids all had 19 kids each, that would make 6859 great grand kids. And if everyone of those great grand kids had 19 kids each that would make a whopping total of 130,321 great great grand kids for Michelle and Jim Bob.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

I do see why you believe what you do. I had already said that, i thought. My point
was that a family who has left a system usually does not do so
without baggage.

Thinking this evening about opportunities and how no one has the same
opportunities, based on many factors. My kids won't go to Yale because they have not had the opportunities of the prep school students. That doesn't mean my kids are abused it just means they have different life experiences. An only child misses out on so much, but that doesn't make their experience less, just different.

I don't have a problem with different. That is what makes life interesting.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

The term breeders is just a classless crude way of getting attention. No more, no less.

 

[averysmom]

I have mixed feelings about the show - on one hand, from what I've seen and read, the Duggar children are better behaved and more capable then many of the teens that I have taught in the past few years They seem well-adjusted and self-sufficient - caring and loving to their siblings and parents. So obviously they are doing something right, kwim?

There are a lot of Hudderite colonies around where we live - so the Hudderite way of life is fairly commonplace - so maybe it doesn't look so strange to me???

On the other hand, I feel so sad on how their life is limited - especially the girls. There is a large population of a very conservative religous group in my area, and it is so sad that these super smart, capable, amazing girls, - girls who are working at the top of their classes, out-performing almost everyone - are being denied any opportunities beyond early marriage (18 if they are lucky) and lots of babies. It is not uncommon for them to drop out as soon as they turn 16 - in fact, it is considered very progressive for families to allow their girls to graduate from HS.

I fear that this is the life of a Duggar daughter. (and son -did Josh go to college?)

I hope that if they choose to have another child that everything turns out okay. I agree that it would have to be risky for her.

 

[badblackpug]

I do see why you believe what you do. I had already said that, i thought. My point
was that a family who has left a system usually does not do so
without baggage.

Thinking this evening about opportunities and how no one has the same
opportunities, based on many factors. My kids won't go to Yale because they have not had the opportunities of the prep school students. That doesn't mean my kids are abused it just means they have different life experiences. An only child misses out on so much, but that doesn't make their experience less, just different.

I don't have a problem with different. That is what makes life interesting.

Yes but I think the difference is your children will have choices. They will be able to decide what goals they choose to pursue and what skills they want to learn. Their future will be decided by them, not by you. With the Duggars, at least with the girls, their lives are dictated to them by their parents. They only learn the skills it takes to be homemakers. It doesn't seem as if they are given a choice to be anything else. Your kids may not have all the opportunities other kids have, but at least they have some.

 

[ZPT1022]

...They feel sorry for families with only 2 or 3 children and pray daily for the Lord to bless me with more.

That's kind of harsh. Not everyone has a smaller family by choice. I always thought I'd have a huge family but even if our finances would allow for more than the four we have, my autoimmune disease makes it hard, I don't think that means my family/kids should be the subject of pity.

I've only watched a couple shows. I remember watching one show where it seemed they bought hundreds of canned goods. That made me cringe, canned stuff is so inferior to fresh or frozen.

Then I kept seeing disposable diapers everywhere.

Think how low their budget would have been with a garden and a few dozen cloth dipes? They have the manpower to do both.

I've thought the same thing, all the disposable stuff they use horrifies me- between the diapers, plates, cups, etc.... they have the laundry facilities and dishwashing facilities to deal with reusables. How hard is it really to have a few sets of cups and label them for reuse? Use the same cup for water all day and put in the dishwasher at night so that only one per person gets used instead of who knows how many disposables. Not to mention, looking at it from a religious POV, shouldn't they be good stewards of the Earth God has provided by taking good care of it?

I think they are following a religious life, dictated by the doctrine of their religion. Two years of serving in Congress means that we, the taxpayers, are paying for the health insurance for Jim Bob and all his MANY dependents, and will be for quite a while. Between copays, premiums, and oop, our health insurance costs us $9000 a year before benefits kick in, and that's for a family of 3, NOT 21! I have a hard time buying the "as long as taxpayers aren't supporting them" line! (FWIW, I feel this way about all the health/pension bennies of having served in Congress).

We pay around $20,000/year for ours, plus what it costs to actually use the plan (copays, deductibles). If they really get free health insurance, that's huge!!

I think somebody already said this, but if God/dess is responsible for everything, I would think she would be happy to provide permanent sterilization for either parent. If nothing else, it would be safer as once preeclamptic, chances are high it will happen again, not to mention the drain on stores that happens with each pregnancy (iron, calcium, and iodine are just a few nutrients that baby's extract whether or not Mom has enough for herself). Isn't it her responsibilty to God/dess, children, husband to care for her body so she can care for them???

I kind of agree with this- you could look at it that technology is God given.

At some point you need to seriously evaluate the health risks and make well thought out decisions. I would love to consider having another baby a few years down the line but the fact is that my body just cannot handle it. I just had a baby in April and it was problem after problem and hospitalization after hospitalization. It would be irresponsible to consider having another. It's okay to admit that

Okay...serious question here for those of you who are more familiar with this quiverfull concept. Are there any exceptions to the ban on birth control? Like in the case that a pregnancy could threaten the life of the mother, or if the resulting children wouldn't survive? For instance there are exceptions to the fast during Ramadan. Children under 12, the elderly, the sick, and pregnant or nursing mothers are not expected to fast because of the possible health risks. Is the use of birth control ever acceptable?

From what I have read, no, there are not. The other thing that upset me about quiverfull is that they are anti reproduction assistance for people having problems. Apparently that's just a sign you shouldn't have kids

 

[aceys_h0ney]

From an interview with Michelle,

lilsugar: Josh is now married and living with his wife, but in regards to your other children at what age would you encourage them to move out and become independent?

To see their answer and thoughts on modest dressing and setting their girls up for success, read more.

Jim Bob Duggar: When each of our children move out really has to do with what the Lord has in store for their lives. I would not want a married son or daughter living with us I mean unless it was a crisis type situation. I'd want them to have their own place because they are their own family unless maybe at an older age we may be living with them (laughs).
Michelle Duggar: At this point, I don't think we have anyone who wants to get out and thinks we're driving them nuts. Even Josh and Anna, they come this way and accompany us on some trips.
Jim Bob Duggar: As far as my children, my goal, especially for my sons is to be able to develop skills so they can hopefully provide for their families in the future. I also want my daughters to develop skills so they can provide if they had to. Some of my daughters may get nursing degrees. My sons, it really depends on their interests. My second oldest son (John-David) really wants to be a pilot so instead of him moving out on his own and spending all his money on paying for his apartment and expenses, I'd rather him go and save up and get his pilot's license and then start saving up for a house or make some kind of investment in business where he doesn't have any overhead so he can save up money and really get a good start.
Michelle Duggar: We taught our children from the very beginning that you never stop learning in life. School is never over. When you have that perspective, it's not the traditional way of viewing it. There are people who are out there and they are professionals at what they do and if you are a hard worker and have good character — are honest, responsible — there's many people that would be glad to have someone like that to work along side them. You can gain skills while you are being paid. A lot of trades, you may decide you like this right now, but go to work with somebody who does that and you'll find out if you really like it. There's so many people who go to college and turn right around and not use what they went to college for and this way, you're thinking it through.

lilsugar: In such a progressive society where many parents, especially mothers, are encouraging their daughters to be tough enough to make their own way in the world, your show often features your girls taking the homemaker and child rearing roles. Do you think they will be able to provide for themselves if they don't marry?

Michelle Duggar: Our girls are go-getters. No matter what, I know they could do that if they wanted to or needed to, but in their hearts, they would love to marry and lord willing if they had children to stay at home and raise their families. I've got a couple of them talking about going for their real estate licenses and about getting their CDL licenses because they want to be able to drive some of our big equipment. Believe me, my girls are not Namby Pamby. They've got goals and the desire to do things.

lilsugar: Do any of the girls object to the modest clothing? I liked Jessa's quote in the book that said teenagers all wear the same thing and nobody is bothered by it.

Michelle Duggar: We do a lot of that the perms and make-up. I think it was our producer who said the girls have sort of their own thing going, it's a "modern modest". That's a good way to dub it I guess. I told my kids, (growing up) I mowed the lawn in a bikini and had no idea what I was doing to my neighbor's husband across the street. No wonder the woman hated our family — you know? And, I think I had no clue as far as the responsibility I had in that the way I dressed caused men to have struggles. They (the girls) want to dress modest to draw attention to their face and not the other parts of their bodies that seem to be uncovered now a days. As far as wearing dresses, skirts and things, that was a conviction that the Lord placed on my heart and he knew the struggles of my heart from growing up Whether my girls continue that in their lives, it's up to them.

http://www.lilsugar.com/Interview-Michelle-Duggar-Mother-18-Children-PART-III-2727153

lilsugar: Online, some members of the public have been critical of your buddy system, saying that your older children are raising the younger ones; do you think this is a misconception?

Michelle Duggar: I'll put it the way my daughter, Jill, said it — she had really had a sweet answer. She said, "Mama, they just don't understand or know what it's like to be in our large family and how much fun we have and how sweet is it to have these little ones that look up to us and want to be like us. When people get this idea of oh my God, they have so many kids and there's no way you can spend one-on-one time with them and give them the undivided attention or that the older ones are raising the younger ones, love doesn't divide it multiples."

My older ones have a mentoring relationship with the little ones. We are still the parents, Dad and I are the ones to give them counsel and different things like that, but when they are working together on their music practice or playing phonics games and doing math drills, those times are precious because I see the relationships that have developed.

http://www.lilsugar.com/Interview-Michelle-Duggar-Mother-18-Children-Part-I-2725840

There are actually 5 parts to this interview, I will stop copying and pasting but many things that we keep addressing in this thread are addressed in this interview and their book.

Also to the person who asked where I heard they paid for their vacations/meals out, I finally remembered, they had a question and answer show on TLC not too long ago and that was a viewer question. Now whether or not the places they go give them freebies I have no idea.

 

[aceys_h0ney]

Do the Duggars raise their children following their belief system? Yes they do. Will all of their children follow that same system? Who knows. I see it as no different then a devout Catholic, Muslum, Southern Baptist, ect. My mother was raised Catholic, was taught by nuns and all that jazz, she married a southern Baptist preacher. I don't think the Duggars are briain washing their children they are raising them. If we want to be harsh about it, I Force (raise) my children by my belief system, they don't get free say in what they watch, do and wear. When they are adults if they want to walk around their house cursing, playing video games 20 hours a day while eating burritos in their underware watching rated R movies then so be it.

Also several of the Duggars have their own hobbies and interests that are encouraged by their parents. I forgot which girl but she is very into photography and has some very nice cameras and her parents talk very highly of her skill and how they like to nurture her desire to be a photographer.

 

[ZPT1022]

while eating burritos in their underware .

I'm going to blame the late hour and my tiredness, but this made me LOL

 

[disneymama83]

eating burritos in their underware /QUOTE]


I to had a laughing fit over this!

 

[badblackpug]

From an interview with Michelle,

lilsugar: Josh is now married and living with his wife, but in regards to your other children at what age would you encourage them to move out and become independent?

To see their answer and thoughts on modest dressing and setting their girls up for success, read more.

Jim Bob Duggar: When each of our children move out really has to do with what the Lord has in store for their lives. I would not want a married son or daughter living with us I mean unless it was a crisis type situation. I'd want them to have their own place because they are their own family unless maybe at an older age we may be living with them (laughs).
Michelle Duggar: At this point, I don't think we have anyone who wants to get out and thinks we're driving them nuts. Even Josh and Anna, they come this way and accompany us on some trips.
Jim Bob Duggar: As far as my children, my goal, especially for my sons is to be able to develop skills so they can hopefully provide for their families in the future. I also want my daughters to develop skills so they can provide if they had to. Some of my daughters may get nursing degrees. My sons, it really depends on their interests. My second oldest son (John-David) really wants to be a pilot so instead of him moving out on his own and spending all his money on paying for his apartment and expenses, I'd rather him go and save up and get his pilot's license and then start saving up for a house or make some kind of investment in business where he doesn't have any overhead so he can save up money and really get a good start.
Michelle Duggar: We taught our children from the very beginning that you never stop learning in life. School is never over. When you have that perspective, it's not the traditional way of viewing it. There are people who are out there and they are professionals at what they do and if you are a hard worker and have good character — are honest, responsible — there's many people that would be glad to have someone like that to work along side them. You can gain skills while you are being paid. A lot of trades, you may decide you like this right now, but go to work with somebody who does that and you'll find out if you really like it. There's so many people who go to college and turn right around and not use what they went to college for and this way, you're thinking it through.

lilsugar: In such a progressive society where many parents, especially mothers, are encouraging their daughters to be tough enough to make their own way in the world, your show often features your girls taking the homemaker and child rearing roles. Do you think they will be able to provide for themselves if they don't marry?

Michelle Duggar: Our girls are go-getters. No matter what, I know they could do that if they wanted to or needed to, but in their hearts, they would love to marry and lord willing if they had children to stay at home and raise their families. I've got a couple of them talking about going for their real estate licenses and about getting their CDL licenses because they want to be able to drive some of our big equipment. Believe me, my girls are not Namby Pamby. They've got goals and the desire to do things.

lilsugar: Do any of the girls object to the modest clothing? I liked Jessa's quote in the book that said teenagers all wear the same thing and nobody is bothered by it.

Michelle Duggar: We do a lot of that the perms and make-up. I think it was our producer who said the girls have sort of their own thing going, it's a "modern modest". That's a good way to dub it I guess. I told my kids, (growing up) I mowed the lawn in a bikini and had no idea what I was doing to my neighbor's husband across the street. No wonder the woman hated our family — you know? And, I think I had no clue as far as the responsibility I had in that the way I dressed caused men to have struggles. They (the girls) want to dress modest to draw attention to their face and not the other parts of their bodies that seem to be uncovered now a days. As far as wearing dresses, skirts and things, that was a conviction that the Lord placed on my heart and he knew the struggles of my heart from growing up Whether my girls continue that in their lives, it's up to them.

http://www.lilsugar.com/Interview-Michelle-Duggar-Mother-18-Children-PART-III-2727153

lilsugar: Online, some members of the public have been critical of your buddy system, saying that your older children are raising the younger ones; do you think this is a misconception?

Michelle Duggar: I'll put it the way my daughter, Jill, said it — she had really had a sweet answer. She said, "Mama, they just don't understand or know what it's like to be in our large family and how much fun we have and how sweet is it to have these little ones that look up to us and want to be like us. When people get this idea of oh my God, they have so many kids and there's no way you can spend one-on-one time with them and give them the undivided attention or that the older ones are raising the younger ones, love doesn't divide it multiples."

My older ones have a mentoring relationship with the little ones. We are still the parents, Dad and I are the ones to give them counsel and different things like that, but when they are working together on their music practice or playing phonics games and doing math drills, those times are precious because I see the relationships that have developed.

http://www.lilsugar.com/Interview-Michelle-Duggar-Mother-18-Children-Part-I-2725840

There are actually 5 parts to this interview, I will stop copying and pasting but many things that we keep addressing in this thread are addressed in this interview and their book.

Also to the person who asked where I heard they paid for their vacations/meals out, I finally remembered, they had a question and answer show on TLC not too long ago and that was a viewer question. Now whether or not the places they go give them freebies I have no idea.

I'd feel better about this interview if they had asked the kids directly. Not that they probably would have answered honestly, but this interview has the parents answering for what the children think. If you interview me I will tell you that my husband loves to clean the bathroom!

...and I am, frankly, bothered by the sentence that I bolded. Some of the girls may get nursing degrees, but it depends on the boys interests? Does this mean that is what the parents deem to be an acceptable career for the girls, but the boys are free to choose based on their interests? (and before anyone accuses me of nurse bashing...guess what I do for a living?)

BTW...I am eating pretzels in my underwear right now.... it is b*astard hot!

 

[angelmav]

I'd feel better about this interview if they had asked the kids directly. Not that they probably would have answered honestly, but this interview has the parents answering for what the children think. If you interview me I will tell you that my husband loves to clean the bathroom!

...and I am, frankly, bothered by the sentence that I bolded. Some of the girls may get nursing degrees, but it depends on the boys interests? Does this mean that is what the parents deem to be an acceptable career for the girls, but the boys are free to choose based on their interests? (and before anyone accuses me of nurse bashing...guess what I do for a living?)

BTW...I am eating pretzels in my underwear right now.... it is b*astard hot!

Think you mis-interpreted that. She said her sons, not boys as in boys the girls may be trying to please.

I actually thought it was a nice interview and there is some truth in what she says. A little modesty would go a long way for girls/women instead of the oversexed way in which most choose to show themselves.

Still think they are a mess tho...and we have 5 kids.