The DDA Trouble Free Zone Part 3

[Steffy]

I am having a very stressful morning and could use a little advice from my DDA family. Nick and Hunter's Elementary School has invited in a lady that teaches dance. They have broke the student body into groups and she is working with each group to teach them a dance that they are apparently expected to perform in front of the entire student body and an evening performance for the parents. The lessons started yesterday. Nick has been talking about how much he didn't want to do this for days now. We told him that he had to do it as it is part of his school day. He came home yesterday so upset. He had obviously been talking to Hunter on the bus as he was trying to come up with ways to not have to go to dance. Hunter said he was planning to go to the nurse sick. I need to give you a little background before I go further. Nick is a very nervous child and stressful situations make him physically sick to his stomach. We went through the entire school year last year going back and forth to the doctor's trying to figure out what was causing him to be sick everyday, including weekends and vacations. The stress stayed with him as he knew that he would be going back to school in a few days. We discussed everything with him and could not put our finger on what was causing him to be sick. I even got the guidance counselor involved and she was absolutely certain that it was nothing that was caused by school. Fast forward to this year, no stomach aches, not fighting us to stay home. It has been an amazing year for him. After the first couple of days of school he made a comment to my Mom that he really likes his new teachers. It turns out that while he liked last year's teacher she was his stress point. She was a younger teacher with no children of her own and lacked the nurturing that he needs. He has 2 teachers this year, one in the morning and a different one in the afternoon. One is a mother, the other is a grandmother. Their teaching styles work for Nick and all his issues disappeared. Until this week that is. He is a 4th grade boy dealing with the issues of peer pressure and puberty. He is very confident and will get up in front of his class or the school to perform on his drum, tell jokes and even do oral presentations. He has no difficulty in doing so, but for some reason he is paralysed by this dance thing. He is sick to his stomach, doesn't want to go to school and it is last year all over again for him. Our policy has always been to stick with whatever you start, but I really don't feel that dance is an important part of his education. I don't want him to revert to all the issues that we had last year. Apparently his group is being taught the Can Can. The hoopdee doo comes to mind. I don't think that the choice was a great one for 4th grade boys to begin with. I have talked with other parents and the 4th boys are pretty much opposed across the board. So I called the principal this morning to discuss my concerns. She turned the whole conversation around into how short minded I was as it was only the first day and I need to make him do it a few more days before I have the right to make an opinion. I then talked with his teacher who wants him to continue as if he doesn't have to do it none of the boys will want to and it will become a real issue for her. I am encouraging his behavior that if he doesn't want to do something he can just "pretend" to be sick and I won't make him do it. My stand is that I know what we went through last year and never want to put him or us through that again. I normally do not let him "drop out" of anything (this will be the very first time). I am really afraid that if he has to do this it could effect him acamdemically for the remainder of the year. I need him to know that I am on his side and will stand up for him. So DDA. What would you do? I am letting (making) him participate today and will reevaluate tonight, but do you think that I am making a big deal out of nothing? By the way, Chris, as well as my Mom, Dad and SIL all agree that we should not make him do this as they already see the stomach aches and not wanting to go to school as a problem that could persist. I really need your advice.

Thank you for reading my rantings.

Deb

Deb,

Can't the teacher come up with a better dance than the can can? How does a boy can can?

 

[UP Disney]

Vicki- are you all packed???????????

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm, do I have to answer that? If so, the answer is no. I did go & pick up my DD20 from college tonight and spent the last two hours doing some of the final packing. We leave tomorrow at 4pm. I do have to work in the morning for a couple of hours but have a couple of hours before we leave to finalize everything. I have a very concise, complete checklist of things to pack so I'm not worried about forgeting anything. Luckily now that my DD20 is home, I can get her to help with all the final errands. Thanks for the push. I'll go do some more! I was definitely on here avoiding! I'm a little bit stressed even though I have most things taken care of. I always get this way. My mind is racing. I'm trying to get myself relaxed enough so that I can concentrate on what I'm supposed to be doing. It would take so much less time if I could do that. Now you know where Katrina got her upset stomach from.

 

[Cinderumbrella]

I am always that way the night before and the morning of the trip. Mercifully DH knows it's coming so he is pretty tolerant of it now
Have a blast!!

 

[julia & nicks mom]

This is more or less what happened with my DH. I never expected him to relax and enjoy it so much but he looks forward to it as much as I do. It is definitely a recharger. He is serious about buying DVC now but we just have to get our finances worked out (since we have one in college & another one there in 1-1/2 years).

have an awesome trip!!!

 

[tink2020]

Hey all! Sorry I've been sort of MIA for this week..... it's just been an emotional week, and you can ask all my friends in 'real life', too.... I haven't talked to any of them! It's kind of been one of those downer weeks, and when those come along I sort of pull away from the important stuff and focus on less pertinent things. I guess it just bothers me less when I'm in a funk if I'm sort of disconnected from people who can tell. Hmm.... not so sure that made sense.

Either way, I did want to say congratulations to all the grandparents, aunts, etc -to-be, and tell those of you leaving soon to have a fantastic trip! And Tia, my prayers are with you and Terra as Phil seeks a new solution. Depression and anxiety run rampant in my family..... every generation, so I know how painful it is for EVERYONE involved -- on both sides of the issue . Hang in there, and take care of yourselves, too. I'm also sending you a PM.

So anyway.... I'm here, reading along.... just can't ever muster up something to say

Thanks to those of you who have said hello and checked in on me. I'll try and get back to my normal chatty self (that is, if you don't mind )... I just have to wade through the muck here first! Things are looking up though, for the first day in a while. Thanks for your patience, and for providing a place I can drop in on for some sanity.

 

[Cinderumbrella]

Jen

Thanks for stopping by!!!!!!!!!

Kristin

 

[mommy2emmersNmo]

I just wanted to stop by here and officially say . I look forward to chatting with everyone.

 

[Cinderumbrella]

Hi

 

[Steffy]

Thanks for the prayers and pixie dust everyone. Phil's appointment seems to have gone well. He came out with a prescription for the depression and anxiety and is on his way to fill it now. Hopefully, there should be improvement there in a few days. For everything else, the doctor advised that he eat a "normal American diet" for the next month and then come back for a full blood work up. Since Phil has been on various supplements based on previous doctor's direction, the doctor wants to reverse that temporarily and get an "unbiased" set of tests.

The other part of the good news is that Phil found the doctor to be a good listener and respectful (something recent doctors haven't really been). Hopefully, this guy will be the one to help us find some answers.

Oh and more from the good news front...we finally got word at work about our performance bonuses from last year. It is looking promising that the amount my be enough to pay for October trip! I tried hinting that maybe we should use it to may for an extra trip for my birthday in May, but I'm not sure how well that went over. Maybe I can convince Phil that the 3rd anniversary is the "Disney" anniversary or maybe that it's the "finally take a honeymoon" anniversary. Hmmm...probably not, but a girl can dream.

That's good news Tia! YAY for Phil

 

[Steffy]

Tia - that sounds like great news!!

I also have GREAT news to share - my brother and SIL are expecting their first baby on July 1 -

they found out today they are having a - I am so excited!!! Nick is too - Julia not as much - she was hoping for a girl!!

Greate news Auntie Kate!

 

[Steffy]

Tia -

the first time Steve went to WDW with me - I had to force him to go -I was pg with Julia - I had been without him and can you believe we had a trip a year earlier and chose the cash instead (I am not willing to discuss this) so when we were going to visit his parents I talked him into a day and a half in Orlando -

he LOVED LOVED LOVED our day there and we actually bought DVC -

now he says that Disney is his recharger and when he is in a funk it can lift him out of it -

I really think if you could talk Phil into going - he would get that same sense of letting go and being able to be a kid again - and seeing Terra there would only make it better!!!

A co worker of mine was in the world the same time tinker1bell and I were. Her daughter also calls Disney her recharger. They are returning in October. I really don't know if I can wait until December to get back to my happy place.

The huge family trip I took last Dec (04) I found out was not only my Dsil's first trip to Disney, it was his first "family" vacation. His family didn't take vacations. He enjoyed himself so much. My DGD has stated she wants to go somewhere else for a change. It was her fourth trip. She's 9. She wants to go to the beach..

Disney is a wonderful recharger. I suggest it to everyone!!!

 

[Steffy]

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm, do I have to answer that?

Have a wonderful trip! Enjoy that Dole whip.

 

[Steffy]

I just wanted to stop by here and officially say . I look forward to chatting with everyone.

Welcome!! Thanks for posting.

 

[babytrees]

Glad to hear that. Now I have a question for you. What do you do with a smarty pants kid at the age of 2.5? DD#2 is a bit advanced and I have no idea where it came from. I also have no idea how to handle / channel / keep her going. She knows her letter for the most part by sound and sight, speaks very well, can count up to mid 20's. She has been going up the slide latter sense before she was a year old. She doesn't stop at all. People say WOW she is so advanced and how old is she? Mind you she is only 20 lbs and looks like she is about 18mths on a good day (yes rather small).
I will take all the info folks want to give about having smarty pants kids, I need it.

Read to her!!!
Play games with her....my girls like playing Boggle(though mom is handicapped to only playing four letter or bigger words).
She sounds like my two girls...their favorite thing to do at the age was "read" books and play games. They did learn they couldn't go on the ladder up to the slide unless two big people were there, one at the bottom of the ladder and one at the bottom of the slide(learned that lesson the scary way!!)
Do puzzles, crafts(beading laces is great motor skills!)

So much fun stuff to do and so little time when they are little!! My biggest piece of advice is enjoy her!!

 

[babytrees]

Hey all!
Thanks for your patience, and for providing a place I can drop in on for some sanity.

Hi there back!!

We've missed you!!

This is a great place for sanity I think!!

 

[babytrees]

I just wanted to stop by here and officially say . I look forward to chatting with everyone.

Welcome!!!

Love the pic's in your signature...two more DDA cuties!!

 

[Brendita]

Hi everybody!!
I can't tell you all how busy I have been.
Ramiro is sending Fri night with his sister.
His is Monday.
So they wanted to spend some time together.
I get to stay @ home & paint the master bedroom.
OMG what fun.
So far everything is going smooth.
House is shaping up, almost ready to sale.
Sold my monster king sleigh bed.
Got myself a beautiful queen bed with a metal headboard.
Now I need to shop for bedding.
Child support is all set up 1 less thing to worry about.


So many sickys out there.
Here's .
Take care.

 

[Brendita]

Okay - DDA

I need pixie dust - this is so queer but believe me it is a HUGE deal here
Nick just came down stairs saying pillow wet - bed wet - and something else that I was not sure what he was saying - I got upstairs and realized he was saying poop wet - poor little guy has diarhea - and it got on his pillow -

no big deal EXCEPT - Nick has a pillow that he uses all the time - it goes everywhere with him - it is like his favorite stuffed animal - it is a regular pillow but no pillowcase - he takes one off if I try to put it on - I have tried to substitute another pillow in before and he gets mad - so this is the pillow that the poop got on - and I had to go put it in the washer - he came downstair so sad and see pillow mommy? so I showed him it in the washer and you can not believe the sad little look he got on his face - pillow bye bye? I seriously do not believe he will be able to go to sleep without it - this could be a long night!!!!!

Kate,
I feel for the little guy.
Middle DS had a blanket he called his night-night also had a Chilly Willy.
He still has the Chilly Willy he's 27.
Hang in there & try to get some sleep.

 

[kc10family]

Kate, Tia, Theresa, Cinderumbrella (I don’t know your first name), Thank you for the info. I do so many things with her and she is a hand full I will tell you. I tell people that my hair is chemically dependant because of her. She knows sign language and many of her colors; she can sing God Bless America and many other songs. I swear she will climb Mount Everest someday, she hurdles the gates in the house and climbs out of her crib/bed, did I say the mattress is on the floor. We read, draw, color and play games, off and on all day. In the mommy and me gymnastics class one coach told me to keep her in gymnastics because she could be on the team at a very young age because she was so good for only 2. DD#1 goes to a private preschool and when DD#2 and I go to the office to pay or pick up something, they always comment about how advanced she is. Can a 2 year old make you feel stupid? Sometimes I think I do feel dumb around her. With all that said, she is a beautiful girl that I can’t imagine life without. She is my Minnie Might and I am lucky to have her.

 

[my3princes]

First of all I'd like to send congrats to Tia, Kate, Theresa and Tammi for there various happenings. It was nice to see some good news and there weren't so many posts of sick kids. Colby has been running a fever for 3 days, but it has broke now and really wasn't much of an issue anyway. Just meds and he was his normal self .

Thank you all for your input on my school dance situation. I have spent way to many hours to count thinking and rethinking this situation as well as using my coworkers and family as sounding boards. I know that I know my son better than anyone and that I will do what's best for him. I definitely am hurt by comments that the principal and teacher made toward me, but I am determined to make the best decision for my family. I spoke to Nick for over an hour today trying to get to the bottom of his issues with this. I am convinced that he is totally embarassed to dance in front of an audience especially the Can Can. For all those wondering what the boy does, in this dance they are also doing the "chorus line" type movements. There is apparently a hip hop twist, but he will not show me the steps as he says that it is too embarassing. . Chris and I have asked Nick what level of participation he would feel comfortable with. He told us that he would go to all of the training sessions as long as he doesn't have to perform in front of anyone. He will still not be comfortable, but promises to try his hardest. He says that he thinks that the one teacher is teaching 80 kids at once. That would be 3-4 classes and it is entirely possible. He really wishes that they were learning another style of dance, but he will try. I plan to call the school tomorrow with my decision. He came through the door this afternoon complaining that his stomach has been hurting which is what I expected. The reason that the school is having this lady teach dance is to meet some kind of state requirement that they weren't going to meet without this. I really think that more thought should have been put into this. If they had offered 4 types of dance and had the kids sign up for one they would have given them a choice and once they made their own choice I truly believe that they would have lived up to that expectation. Here they were given no choice, placed in a large co ed group and told to learn it and then to show up after hours to perform it . I resent the principal saying that I was being narrow minded as I had thoroughly discussed this with Chris, unbenounst to Nick and we made the decision together based on his mental and physical state last night. I also don't feel that by standing up for him, even if it meant him not participating that I was teaching him that he doesn't have to do things that he does not want too. He is 10 years old and this is the first time ever that I am allowing him not to stay with something that he started. He has 4 more sessions left. I hope that this goes ok and that this doesn't negatively impact his school year. I will post what happens after I speak with the school tomorrow.

Thanks again
Deb