The Bloat and Float 06 Cruise Report: Now The Truth Comes Out!

[tjeagle]

Okay....one more time for the record....LAUGH OUT LOUD FUNNY!

 

[JDBlair]

Ah, the rasul.
Something I never added in my trip report was how well we tipped the people who are in charge of cleaning it between guests. I think there was even mud on the ceiling after we were done.

Love the sunset pic. Keep it coming!

On the ceiling!!!!!!!!!!!! I read your TR and, well, glad to hear you tipped well!!!

 

[tamim]

You have me totally in awe with your TR! I believe you saw dolphins!
I believe you wore swim trunks for part of your Rasul time! I believe everything you write!
Can't wait for the next chapter!

 

[grumpydude]

Your report is outstanding. It gets just gets better with each post.

WOW, so many pics and video...this was a three day cruise right? We were on a 7 day and I took less than 200.

I too was surprised that I did not see lots of door signs when I walked the decks during my evenings of inebriated stupor. My signs however helped me locate my room much easier during said evenings.

I so wish we had done the Rasul. This so gives me an excuse to go again.

 

[FatherForce]

Thanks all.
Grumpy, just for the record, the pics and video were from our 4 days at WDW AND the 3 day cruise.
I'm a freak, but I'm not crazy or nothin'.

 

[curlybop]

Still a great trip report! Glad you were feeling better after the Rasul. The cheekbones comments had me cracking up!!

 

[Jillpie]

oh darn, I didn't get my nightly fatherforce fix

 

[FatherForce]

Sorry.
Next installment on Monday.
Promise.

 

[Jillpie]

just kidding. but you better be here for us!!

 

[sleepydog25]

Now, as I walked back, I noticed that we already had almost passed the feckless Carnival tug

We saw Doc and Dog on the stairs again! I told them we’d see them at the wine tasting. . .

. . .(I don’t think I can leave any more coy hints about how much we enjoyed the day up to this point without being arrested. Let’s just say we were both in a good mood and leave it at that).

How can you not like a TR when the author used feckless?

See my TR. . .re: list of attendees. . .

You forgot to mention you two were beaming from ear to ear and taking the steps two at a time, as if you were in a hurry. . .

As always, FF, you are a funny, funny man!

 

[wendygirl]

my husband just shook his head when he found me checking your TR instead of unpacking from our fishing trip .... good man! Can't wait for more!

 

[FatherForce]

Didn't finish my next Chapter today due to a mountain of actual work.
There will be a new one tomorrow morning, promise.

 

[zweihund]

Didn't finish my next Chapter today due to a mountain of actual work.
There will be a new one tomorrow morning, promise.

Yeah, whatever.....I'm totally going over to Sleepy's thread.

 

[kaceyisme]

Didn't finish my next Chapter today due to a mountain of actual work.
There will be a new one tomorrow morning, promise.

Aahhh - fakeout! I thought it was a new chapter!!

 

[Bethipooh4]

Didn't finish my next Chapter today due to a mountain of actual work.
There will be a new one tomorrow morning, promise.

but....you promised one for today......
OK fine....tomorrow...remember...you promised....

 

[FatherForce]

Chapter 6 Sure You Can Go Back to the Club, and Pirates Golden Mickey in the Caribbean Night



The Cast
Me Dad/Husband/Raconteur
Cheryll Mom/Wife
Samantha 7 yr old Center of the Known Universe



There we were relaxing by the Adult Pool, crab claws and refreshing beverages in our hands when our Oceaneer’s Club Beeper went off.
It said, “Samantha would like to be picked up at Studio Sea”

Ok, time for SuperDad to take flight.
I asked Cheryll to make sure nothing happened to my drink (translation: just because you finished yours too quickly doesn’t mean you can just drink mine while I’m away taking care of our daughter)

Our wine tasting was in 1 hour.

Maybe Sam just wants to change clothes or something.

I quickly made my way down to Studio Sea. Apparently the group had left the OC and were making cookies in the SS. When I got there I found Samantha being consoled on the side by a counselor and she was crying.

“Honey, what’s wrong?”
“I want to go home.”
“Baby, we’re out on the ocean”.
“No, I want to go back to our hotel room.”

Well I scooped her up and carried her back up to get Mommy.
I tried to get her to tell me what had happened.
At first she said she was bored and missed us. Then she said she didn’t like the other kids because they didn’t like her. Then she said I’d left her there all day, and I didn’t want to play with her anymore!
Ok, notice how she didn’t say you and Mom? She directed that last stab through the heart directly at me.
Then she twisted it.
“Why don’t you want to be with me?”

MAN’S HEART OVERBOARD!

This little girl had learned the secret to crushing her overly-sensitive Father with a single blow. It’s her Intercontinental Ballistic Missile.
Only she’s not afraid to use her Nukes.

Back up to reunite with Mommy.
She climbed into Cheryl’s lap and sobbed.
I looked down at my plate of food.
All of my crab claws were gone.
I then in my heart knew what was also missing, but I held out hope that my loving wife, with whom I had just shared a romantic and intimate morning and afternoon, would not have done that to me.
I looked up on the table where my drink was left not 10 minute ago.
It was empty.

That didn’t matter now, but I included that information so that my faithful readers know just what tortures and indignities I have to endure.

Well, Sam wanted to go back to our room.
Cheryll wondered aloud about the wine tasting. She had really been looking forward to going. She even wore a shirt from the winery she works at to impress the sommelier and hopefully get bigger pours, I mean engage in some intelligent wine talk.
I urged Cheryll to go by herself, and I would stay and play with Samantha.
She didn’t want to go without me, bless her heart.

After we got to the room, Sam was fine.
I mean no tears, no pouting, no visible signs of distress at all.
She went to the bathroom and then announced she wanted to go back!

What?

It seems Snow White was scheduled to appear at the Oceaneer’s Club any minute.
Only her appearance was for the 3 to 5 year olds and not the 5 to 7 group which was at the Studio Sea.
So THAT was it.

It was 10 minutes to the tasting so I told Cheryll to prepare, and I would take Sam back to the Club and see if she could get in with the younger kids so she could see Snow White.
On the way down, Sam explained that she liked the OC, but didn’t like the other places they went. She just wanted to stay in the club. I later found out that they had to make her get off one of the video games so the whole group could go over to the SS. This had honked her off, and THAT is what started her meltdown.

I’m going on record to say that she gets that behavior from her Mom’s side of the family.

The OC accepted her in the younger group without even batting an eye.
Ok. Sam was happy, now to rush up, get Cheryll, and make the wine tasting so she’d be happy.

Once back in the room, my wife told me what a wonderful understanding husband and father I was, and it was obvious that Cheryll had decided not to go to the wine tasting.

(Ahem)

So, a few minutes later (not THAT few), we are sitting on the verandah and watching a MASSIVE cruise ship next to us. This was not on of those buckets of rust and STD’s operated by Carnival. No, this was a majestic beauty bigger than the Wonder with about 120,000 private verandahs. It was the Royal Caribbean’s Navigator of the Seas. It was a sight to see. It wasn’t as colorful or attractive as the Wonder, but HOLY CRAP it was big.

As far as I could tell it had a rock climbing wall (just what I want to do on a cruise, btw), a water park, a softball field, an 18 hole golf course, and another cruise ship in the middle of it. (Some of that may have been an exaggeration)

Soon it was time to collect Sam and get ready for Pirate night and dinner at the Animator’s Palate

Samantha was in a great mood when I picked her up.
Go figure.
We got her in her Pirate outfit, and she did her own make up.
I’m sure you couldn’t tell that.

Here's that sculpture:

Got our pictures with the Big Cheese, and yes, I am not dressed up in either a coat and tie or a pirate costume. I am wearing a Pirate WDW T with nice slacks.
Sue Me.

AP was lot of fun. I know there are Negative Nellies (or Sardonic SleepyDogs)who were under whelmed by the AP. I think the food was great, and the whole ambiance was whinsical. Yes, the video’s and Travel Channel specials make it seem like Laser Floyd at the Planetarium (Want to have some fun? If you live in a city that has those late night laser shows in the local planetarium set to Pink Floyd or some other trippy-70s band’s music, go to one. They are kind of cool, but the most fun is to wait about half an hour into the show so that those who have come and timed their psychedelics are securely into their trip. When there is a pause in music start whispering “Snake. Snake”. Then louder, “I felt a SNAKE!” Hilarity will ensue. Trust me.) It isn’t that. It is a fun and colorful “show” that kids LOVE.

Oh, it was Pirate night and everyone got a bandana.
I have never worn a bandana in my life.

Now you know why.

Donavan made Mickey’s on a plate with Ketchup for Samantha and our table mates which also delighted her.

Oh I forgot the food.
Cheryll both had the same thing except the dessert. We had the seafood and avocado wrap, the Caesar salad, and the filet. I had Boston Crème Pie and Cheryll had the Chocolate and Peanut Butter Pie if I am not mistaken.
We had the Pinot Noir as our wine. It was fine. I like red wine a little bolder, and this was a lighter taste. Cheryll like it a lot. She drank most of the bottle.
I honestly didn’t want more than a half glass anyway. I’d had enough alcohol this day.
Arrr.

As Donovan was taking our dessert orders, he asked Sam what she wanted and she said “Nothing”. I looked at Donovan immediately and smiled. He nodded at me and asked her once again. Again she said, “Nothing”.

As a faithful read of the DIS Boards I knew what was coming.
Samantha didn’t at all, and she asked without me prodding.
So Donovan brought out a covered plate and lifted the lid:

Everyone laughed, but it kind of embarrassed Sam, and she asked to keep the lid on it.

We went back up to the room before the Golden Mickey’s.

Here's the day's Towel Animal:

Now those of you who have been paying attention to the reported alcohol consumption of this day might suspect that my wife was a little tipsy by this point.
You would be correct.
Actually she was just tired, so she suggested Sam and I go to the Golden Mickey’s while she laid down. We were to get seats on the end of the isle and save one for her. She’d join us soon.

Ok, no problem.
Sam and I walked around a bit. We looked at pictures in the steam room, I mean Shutters.
It was very nice to have some time on the ship with just the 2 of us.
As you may have noticed from previous installments, Samantha is the best thing that ever happened to me, and I love her like I have never loved anyone or anything, I got to spend the day with my beautiful wife, and now, I had my little pirate’s hand in mine walking to a show on the Wonder.
Am I a lucky man or what?

So we made the walk down the “red carpet” to the Golden Mickey’s. The “paparazzi” all asked Sam is she was a good or bad pirate. Of course, she was a good pirate.
We got to the front and “Rona” was interviewing children. It looked like those interviews were being shown inside the theatre.
Cool.
Well Sam looked at the goings on and the line of kids ready for their turn. I knew she wanted to do it, but there was a woman picking kids to participate, and she had just announced that the show was getting ready to start so there could be no more kids in line.
Samantha sighed, but I explained that it was ok, especially since she had been in the Captain Jack Sparrow show earlier that week in WDW. She wasn’t upset at all. She looked at me and said, “It’s OK Dad, other kids need some attention too.”
When did she get so magnanimous?
No sooner had she said that, when an ornately dressed pirate leaned down in front of us.
It was Christian our Cruise Director!
I was now convinced that he has at least a twin or maybe he’s a triplet because that guy was EVERYWHERE all the time.
He complimented Sam on her pirate outfit and then took her by the hand and added her to the end of the line!
He talked with her some more and then left before I could thank him.

So, I’m sure that Christian has plenty of time to read novel-length TRs on the DIS Boards in his spare time, so Christian, THANK YOU.

Sam waited in line and was the last child interviewed before the show started. She was with another little girl, but then “Rona” asked her to give us a big old “Arr” to start us off.
And she did.

My ship docked into Blubber Town’s port one more time.

We get aisle seats, making sure to save the outside for Cheryll.
The Golden Mickey’s were cute, and the show was, once again, very well done.
Samantha was enraptured.

As the show drew to a close, guess hadn’t shown up?

So as we filed out, I called her cell.
No answer, so I left a message that we would be at the Pirate Party right in front of the stage where Samantha wanted to be. I also left a message on our state room phone.

So we tried to look around in the shops.
I say tried because, to be honest, there was no way to “look” at anything. It was so crowded that all you could do is spot some item you might want as you were probably 4 or 5 people deep from the item. Now, with the item in sight, if out of reach, you had to mentally inspect the said merchandise using your powers of advanced telepathy. If the T Shirt or knick knack met your needs after an internal inspection, then you had use the FORCE to bring the item to you. Now, I had told Samantha that I only used the FORCE for good and then only when it was absolutely necessary, so I didn’t use the powers I perfected at the Jedi Training Academy on Dantooine. I just decided to come back later.

It was pretty crowded.


Up on deck 9, we got right in front of the stage as Sam requested. The “pirates” (who looked suspiciously like the Sail Away performers, and the Hercules cast, and the Golden Mickey’s cast) were out in the crowd warming us up. Sam didn’t want to move from front of the stage, but she also didn’t want me to not be with her, so I stood behind her with the camera while dancing and revelry ensued around me.

Now I’m a jovial fellow by nature, but it was late, I was tired and hot, and I just didn’t feel like dancing. (Especially to the same overplayed dance songs we’d already heard 10 times in the last 2 days). So I stood in the middle of the dance floor while more than one pirate working the crowd gave me a dirty scowl for not participating.

The show started, and it was fun. Samantha was very engaged by the characters and pirates. I, meanwhile, had been caught in the crush to the stage. I wanted to go watch from a safe distance to the side. Samantha wanted me right behind her.
Guess where I was?

Once again the cast were constantly moving and jumping and cajoling.
I got to hear all of my favorite dance songs like the “Hamster Dance”, and “The Safety Dance”, and “You Can’t Touch This, and “If I hear this Song One More Time I am Buying a Gun and Coming Down to the Radio Station”. (I’m not a huge dance music aficionado)

The “plot” of the show is a bit convoluted, and for some reason, whenever there was a cool guitar solo, Mickey’s voice came on and made them put on ‘Gonna Make You Sweat” or something. Apparently guitar solos are for bad pirates, and Mickey was having none of that.

Hey, where was Cheryll?

So, Mickey finally arrived via zip line from one smoke stack to the next (which was impressive) and set off a very nice fireworks display and forever vanquished the evil, exciting guitar solos from the ship.

Oh another thing that was funny was the Cotton Ball Cannons.
They had these prop cannons on either side of the stage that shot cotton balls into the crowd (hence my clever name).
Kids went nuts trying to catch the cotton balls, and later they went nuts pelting Captain Hook and the pirates with said cotton balls.
The video I shot of the show is hilarious.

After the fireworks, Sam and I checked out the buffet, which was mucho impressivo, but we did not get anything. I was whipped and hot, and just wanted to go to bed.
Samantha was tired too.
I did grab a cold beer in a cup to take up to the room.

Samantha asked where her Mommy was.
I suggested that maybe she had just missed us.
I suspected she was in the Cadillac Lounge.

We got back up to the room, and Cheryll was standing there dressed in her dinner attire.
“There you guys are!”
“Yep here we are.”
‘Well come on, let’s go!”
“Let’s go where?”
“To see the Golden Mickey’s, and I don’t want to miss the Pirate Party”.

She thought it was 8:30.

Then she stole my beer.



Next Up Chapter 7 Castaway Cay has a Medical Center too.

 

[Bethipooh4]

TERRIFIC as usual....

Thank you for posting!

 

[curlybop]

Oh no - poor Cheryll missed it all?

Once again, another great report. I love it!!

 

[tjeagle]

In case no one has mentioned it (okay...I know it has been mentioned many times!!) Your relationship with your daughter...and the way you express your feelings for her is absolutely incredible! It brought a tear to my eye (AGAIN!!) reading about how important she is to you!
You are awesome!!

 

[sleepydog25]

Once back in the room, my wife told me what a wonderful understanding husband and father I was, and it was obvious that Cheryll had decided not to go to the wine tasting.

(Ahem)

They've renamed the Wonder to The Happy Place. . .