FatherForce
Mouseketeer
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2006
- Messages
- 400
I was actually being facetious about the pressure.
It's good to know people are reading.
It's good to know people are reading.
The Bloat and Float 06 Cruise Report: Now The Truth Comes Out!
- Thread starter FatherForce
- Start date
:::lurking and talking to myself:::FatherForce said:
" reading AND learning ... (WIV) facetious: teasing, tongue in cheek. ... i gotta USE these words before i LOSE them!gotta write it down, write it down" ...
banana whispers "MORE"wendygirl said:I promise to lurk only lurk from now on till your (or youre - i always got that one wrong) TR is completescouts honor.
:::lurking in camo and talking to myself:::
"actually, girls can't be scouts ... so it doesn't count! ..." 
FatherForce
Mouseketeer
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2006
- Messages
- 400
They can be Girls Scouts though, right?
FatherForce said:
:::lurking and talking to myself:::
"lets see ... daisy or some kind of flower type of scout (google is my friend) ok ... lets see ... yeah, brownie scout ... always though that one was kinda a funny name ... no 
... girl scout! ugh, he got me! and he didn't even have to use a BIG word ... just trying to renig on my deal" 
and friends
FatherForce
Mouseketeer
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2006
- Messages
- 400
Chapter 3 Sam Conquers the Slide and Dad Enters the Doghouse
The Cast
Me Dad/Husband/Raconteur
Cheryll Mom/Wife
Samantha 7 yr old Center of the Known Universe
So there we were, relaxed, sated, and blissful with the ocean breeze in our hair outside the Beach Blanket Bingo Buffet.
I mentioned in the last TR that my allergies were acting up just a bit.
Well now my throat began to feel scratchy too.
Hmmmm. Ah,no big deal.
Right?
Samantha desperately wanted to get moving and see the Mickey Pool and the Oceaneers Club, so I began hauling the 300lbs of carry on bags as we explored.
Just a few feet away was the fabled Mickey Pool.
Samantha stood in awe of it and announced that she would go down the slide ( which was a pretty big deal for her) , but first we had to see the OC ( which struck me as an excuse to put off going down the slide).
Just a quick note about the Mickey Pool: it does look great, and at Noon it was already filling with young aquatic enthusiasts. Families were already in their swimsuits and playfully splashing and squealing with glee. We stood there only about 5 minutes, but in that short amount of time, it went from cool, serene pool to chaotic Toddler Soup.
Now, by this time my head was beginning to congest at an alarming rate.
I said nothing, of course. I knew this was my allergies and something must have set them off. I had some of my medications with me. Of course, they werent in my carry on.
No, I needed the room in my carry on for the bricks and anvils that were seemingly ripping my shoulder out of its socket.
Another more important observation had struck me while watching the Moms play with their kids: Moms today wear some pretty revealing swim attire.
When I was a kid, all Moms wore one piece, heavy swimsuits that resembled coveralls with no legs or arms. Now, it seemed to be Hefs Grotto.
It made me happy to be living in these times.
Here is how congested I was getting.
I actually shared this observation with my wife.
Ok, in retrospect, with the clarity that only hindsight can bring, I can see how this may not have been the wisest thing for a husband to say to his wife on vacation. In my defense, I was just trying to be funny, jocular, whimsical, and so on. ( Hey, WendyGirl complimented me on my vocabulary so now I feel empowered!)
They say Comedy is Tragedy plus Time.
3 weeks later, she still isnt laughing at that one.
ANYWAY ( so much for this report being succinct), we made our way past the Goofy Pool where I purchased my lovely and amazing wife another Bahama Mama as a penance. ( if youre reading this honey, you are more attractive than ANYONE else on the ship.)
(Think she bought it?)
Then it was past the adult pool and onto the elevator to take us to the OC.
Samantha was so very excited upon entering the place, and I must say it is VERY cool.
I wanted to stay and play a bit.
We once again met up with MomSully and her family. We found out we had the same dining rotation and dinner times. We promised to say Hi again at dinner.
We never saw them at Dinner any of the 3 nights.
Samantha wanted to stay, but it was pool time, and then we needed to get to our room.
She changed in a bathroom, and we went back up to deck 9.
As Sam frolicked in the Toddler Soup and Cheryll sipped her drink, I was approached by a nice young man who wanted to sell me a half case of water for only $400. At least it might as well have been $400. I asked if the water was so expensive because it had magical restorative powers. Was this water from the fabled Fountain of Youth? Was it drawn from a wellspring on an uncharted island in the Bermuda Triangle in which the person who imbibes from will be granted unnatural dominion over the creatures of the sea? Was it even cold?
The server smiled the smile of a young man who just wanted to do his job and not have to listen to smart *ss comments from a round, middle aged tourist who had carried way too much stuff in his carry on.
We were doing just fine hydrating ourselves, and we did have some water and juice for Sam, so I politely declined.
So the moment of truth had arrived, Samantha was going down the slide.
She can be such a scared little bunny, then such a holy terror 2 minutes later.
Her first trip up resulted in a quick trip back down the ladder from fright. I encouraged her to try again without wanting to exert too much pressure. So she climbed up and ZOOM, down she went!
You would have thought she hit the winning home run in the Word Series.
I was almost as proud of her as she was of herself.
Many more trips down the slide ensued.
Sam even got her own Kiddie Drink in a plastic coconut.
Well, it was hard getting her out of the pool, but it was time to check out our room, and we had to hustle because we had our DIS meet in a half hour.
It was exciting to finally get to see our stateroom. We were a Cat 6 on Deck 6, 6580 to be exact. It was actually a near perfect location. We were very near the mid ship elevators and stairs. We were directly above the OC, and we could easily use the stairs and walk to wherever we wanted to go. Also our room was DIRECTLY above the under ship stabilizers. Cheryll gets motion sick very easily and was worried how the cruise would effect her. She had been taking Bromine all week and had packed Ginger to munch on just in case. She had absolutely no problems at all.
I quickly figure out the Verandah Door. (Yes, it does slide)
Cheryll and I changed into our swim suits.
I found I would basically spend the next 3 days in my blue trunks and Nat Nast Cabana Shirt. Nat Nast is a mens clothier who specialize in retro wear. Tony Soprano wears a lot of Nat Nast. I like their stuff because its cut big and looks good on larger guys. Its ridiculously overpriced though. I can only afford what I can find on eBay.
(Jeez, I havent even made it to 2pm yet!)
So were running late so we hustle back up to deck 9 for our DIS meet.
Since were late we miss some folks, but we do see the wonderful and gregarious Fallon who got us our wristbands, Beth SG, MickeforDiane, and more. Im afraid we barely got to be introduced before it all broke up, I do apologize for being late, but Samantha found out that the TV had not one but TWO channels of Disney movies, so she had to be pried away. Oh yeah, MomSully was there too, and of course, Doc and SleepyDog who immediately began bragging that more people would be reading HIS TR than mine. ( I am kidding. His TR is awesome and you should stop reading mine right now and go back and re-read his.)
We relaxed just a bit more by the pool. The Mickey Pool had reached critical mass, and I do not care how chlorinated that water was, there were far too many swim diapers soaking in there for me to feel comfortable for Sam to be in there let alone me.
We moved over to the Goofy Pool, and I began to feel worse.
I heard myself getting a bit hoarse too.
***Warning. Graphic description of sinus drainage ahead.***
Have you ever turned on a facet that had been shut off for a long period of time?
You know how it sputters at first and then slowly spits out some thick, viscous sludge before the line is cleared and flows freely?
Well, thats how my sinus felt.
I could literally feel that sludge slowly draining down my throat.
My throat now officially hurt.
So I did what any responsible adult would do: I got another drink and pretended I didnt feel bad at all.
I was a very weird feeling, actually. Physically, I felt awful, but mentally I truly felt great.
Anyway, once the luggage arrived, Id get my allergy medicine, and Id be fine.
Right?
We headed back down to the room to find no luggage yet!
Samantha began to get very uneasy about the upcoming Lifeboat drill.
We explained what was coming, and that it was just a drill, but she was very anxious.
She announced she didnt want to go.
Honey, we have to go
But Ill be scared
Theres nothing to be scared of, " I now whispered.
What happened to your voice Dad?
My voice was almost completely gone!
Cheryll said a silent prayer of thanks.
It appears that despite my good intentions, this TR might go on forever.
Tomorrow Ill get through the rest of Day One and try to figure out how to finish this whole thing this week.
The Cast
Me Dad/Husband/Raconteur
Cheryll Mom/Wife
Samantha 7 yr old Center of the Known Universe
So there we were, relaxed, sated, and blissful with the ocean breeze in our hair outside the Beach Blanket Bingo Buffet.
I mentioned in the last TR that my allergies were acting up just a bit.
Well now my throat began to feel scratchy too.
Hmmmm. Ah,no big deal.
Right?
Samantha desperately wanted to get moving and see the Mickey Pool and the Oceaneers Club, so I began hauling the 300lbs of carry on bags as we explored.
Just a few feet away was the fabled Mickey Pool.
Samantha stood in awe of it and announced that she would go down the slide ( which was a pretty big deal for her) , but first we had to see the OC ( which struck me as an excuse to put off going down the slide).
Just a quick note about the Mickey Pool: it does look great, and at Noon it was already filling with young aquatic enthusiasts. Families were already in their swimsuits and playfully splashing and squealing with glee. We stood there only about 5 minutes, but in that short amount of time, it went from cool, serene pool to chaotic Toddler Soup.
Now, by this time my head was beginning to congest at an alarming rate.
I said nothing, of course. I knew this was my allergies and something must have set them off. I had some of my medications with me. Of course, they werent in my carry on.
No, I needed the room in my carry on for the bricks and anvils that were seemingly ripping my shoulder out of its socket.
Another more important observation had struck me while watching the Moms play with their kids: Moms today wear some pretty revealing swim attire.
When I was a kid, all Moms wore one piece, heavy swimsuits that resembled coveralls with no legs or arms. Now, it seemed to be Hefs Grotto.
It made me happy to be living in these times.
Here is how congested I was getting.
I actually shared this observation with my wife.
Ok, in retrospect, with the clarity that only hindsight can bring, I can see how this may not have been the wisest thing for a husband to say to his wife on vacation. In my defense, I was just trying to be funny, jocular, whimsical, and so on. ( Hey, WendyGirl complimented me on my vocabulary so now I feel empowered!)
They say Comedy is Tragedy plus Time.
3 weeks later, she still isnt laughing at that one.
ANYWAY ( so much for this report being succinct), we made our way past the Goofy Pool where I purchased my lovely and amazing wife another Bahama Mama as a penance. ( if youre reading this honey, you are more attractive than ANYONE else on the ship.)
(Think she bought it?)
Then it was past the adult pool and onto the elevator to take us to the OC.
Samantha was so very excited upon entering the place, and I must say it is VERY cool.
I wanted to stay and play a bit.
We once again met up with MomSully and her family. We found out we had the same dining rotation and dinner times. We promised to say Hi again at dinner.
We never saw them at Dinner any of the 3 nights.
Samantha wanted to stay, but it was pool time, and then we needed to get to our room.
She changed in a bathroom, and we went back up to deck 9.
As Sam frolicked in the Toddler Soup and Cheryll sipped her drink, I was approached by a nice young man who wanted to sell me a half case of water for only $400. At least it might as well have been $400. I asked if the water was so expensive because it had magical restorative powers. Was this water from the fabled Fountain of Youth? Was it drawn from a wellspring on an uncharted island in the Bermuda Triangle in which the person who imbibes from will be granted unnatural dominion over the creatures of the sea? Was it even cold?
The server smiled the smile of a young man who just wanted to do his job and not have to listen to smart *ss comments from a round, middle aged tourist who had carried way too much stuff in his carry on.
We were doing just fine hydrating ourselves, and we did have some water and juice for Sam, so I politely declined.
So the moment of truth had arrived, Samantha was going down the slide.
She can be such a scared little bunny, then such a holy terror 2 minutes later.
Her first trip up resulted in a quick trip back down the ladder from fright. I encouraged her to try again without wanting to exert too much pressure. So she climbed up and ZOOM, down she went!
You would have thought she hit the winning home run in the Word Series.
I was almost as proud of her as she was of herself.
Many more trips down the slide ensued.
Sam even got her own Kiddie Drink in a plastic coconut.
Well, it was hard getting her out of the pool, but it was time to check out our room, and we had to hustle because we had our DIS meet in a half hour.
It was exciting to finally get to see our stateroom. We were a Cat 6 on Deck 6, 6580 to be exact. It was actually a near perfect location. We were very near the mid ship elevators and stairs. We were directly above the OC, and we could easily use the stairs and walk to wherever we wanted to go. Also our room was DIRECTLY above the under ship stabilizers. Cheryll gets motion sick very easily and was worried how the cruise would effect her. She had been taking Bromine all week and had packed Ginger to munch on just in case. She had absolutely no problems at all.
I quickly figure out the Verandah Door. (Yes, it does slide)
Cheryll and I changed into our swim suits.
I found I would basically spend the next 3 days in my blue trunks and Nat Nast Cabana Shirt. Nat Nast is a mens clothier who specialize in retro wear. Tony Soprano wears a lot of Nat Nast. I like their stuff because its cut big and looks good on larger guys. Its ridiculously overpriced though. I can only afford what I can find on eBay.
(Jeez, I havent even made it to 2pm yet!)
So were running late so we hustle back up to deck 9 for our DIS meet.
Since were late we miss some folks, but we do see the wonderful and gregarious Fallon who got us our wristbands, Beth SG, MickeforDiane, and more. Im afraid we barely got to be introduced before it all broke up, I do apologize for being late, but Samantha found out that the TV had not one but TWO channels of Disney movies, so she had to be pried away. Oh yeah, MomSully was there too, and of course, Doc and SleepyDog who immediately began bragging that more people would be reading HIS TR than mine. ( I am kidding. His TR is awesome and you should stop reading mine right now and go back and re-read his.)
We relaxed just a bit more by the pool. The Mickey Pool had reached critical mass, and I do not care how chlorinated that water was, there were far too many swim diapers soaking in there for me to feel comfortable for Sam to be in there let alone me.
We moved over to the Goofy Pool, and I began to feel worse.
I heard myself getting a bit hoarse too.
***Warning. Graphic description of sinus drainage ahead.***
Have you ever turned on a facet that had been shut off for a long period of time?
You know how it sputters at first and then slowly spits out some thick, viscous sludge before the line is cleared and flows freely?
Well, thats how my sinus felt.
I could literally feel that sludge slowly draining down my throat.
My throat now officially hurt.
So I did what any responsible adult would do: I got another drink and pretended I didnt feel bad at all.
I was a very weird feeling, actually. Physically, I felt awful, but mentally I truly felt great.
Anyway, once the luggage arrived, Id get my allergy medicine, and Id be fine.
Right?
We headed back down to the room to find no luggage yet!
Samantha began to get very uneasy about the upcoming Lifeboat drill.
We explained what was coming, and that it was just a drill, but she was very anxious.
She announced she didnt want to go.
Honey, we have to go
But Ill be scared
Theres nothing to be scared of, " I now whispered.
What happened to your voice Dad?
My voice was almost completely gone!
Cheryll said a silent prayer of thanks.
It appears that despite my good intentions, this TR might go on forever.
Tomorrow Ill get through the rest of Day One and try to figure out how to finish this whole thing this week.
ok ... i officially admit it ... i lied! 
i cannot just lurk! this TR is just too good!
about the "skin"
THIS WEEKEND!!!! i will be gone ... no computer access!!! no awesome TR fix!! 
i cannot just lurk! this TR is just too good!about the "skin"
i hope your wife makes you take her to the Med. ... cat. 1!FatherForce said:
YES! i know that one!!! but it makes me laugh ... jocular ... (40 going on 12)FatherForce said:
Yeah Samantha!!!FatherForce said:
sludge and liquor .... oooohhhh; i bet it had the texture of a jello shotFatherForce said:
I feel your pain Samantha ... its not fun! when they suggest packing light some people leave out the deoderant .... and altoids.FatherForce said:
but your hands are ok?! you can type right?!!FatherForce said:
THIS WEEKEND!!!! i will be gone ... no computer access!!! no awesome TR fix!! 
sleepydog25
Been here awhile
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2004
- Messages
- 8,453
I did no such thing. I might have thought it, but I'm quite certain I never said it.FF said:
Also, you have my funny. Give it back.
sleepydog25 said:
don't worry Sleepy, you still have the funny. I am completely hooked on this trip report...and yours too!!
FatherForce, I don't usually read WDW trip reports but I had to read yours since I am enjoying this cruise one so much--and it too was hilarious.
grumpydude
Never Underestimate the Power of Stupid People in
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2006
- Messages
- 128
sleepydog25 said:I did no such thing. I might have thought it, but I'm quite certain I never said it.
Also, you have my funny. Give it back.
You never know...sometimes, when I have partaken of many rum infused beverages, I tend to think outloud. I have yet to understand this phenomenon. Maybe there is a research center available were I can go and partake of said drinks while PhD types study my think aloud abilities. Maybe somewhere in the Caribbean where rum beverages are plentiful. Maybe...
Great report by the way FF. I am enjoying it. And you are not a dork, in matching outfits, on a cruise, on vacation. Try showing up at the airport in matching familial outfits only to be matching another family on the same plane, on the same cruise, on the same vacation. Now that is dorky.
dallastxcpa
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2004
- Messages
- 2,120
FatherForce said:Chapter 3 Sam Conquers the Slide and Dad Enters the Doghouse
Just a few feet away was the fabled Mickey Pool.
Just a quick note about the Mickey Pool: it does look great, and at Noon it was already filling with young aquatic enthusiasts. Families were already in their swimsuits and playfully splashing and squealing with glee. We stood there only about 5 minutes, but in that short amount of time, it went from cool, serene pool to chaotic Toddler Soup.
Another more important observation had struck me while watching the Moms play with their kids: Moms today wear some pretty revealing swim attire.
When I was a kid, all Moms wore one piece, heavy swimsuits that resembled coveralls with no legs or arms. Now, it seemed to be Hefs Grotto.
It made me happy to be living in these times.
Here is how congested I was getting.
I actually shared this observation with my wife.
Ok, in retrospect, with the clarity that only hindsight can bring, I can see how this may not have been the wisest thing for a husband to say to his wife on vacation. In my defense, I was just trying to be funny, jocular, whimsical, and so on. ( Hey, WendyGirl complimented me on my vocabulary so now I feel empowered!)
They say Comedy is Tragedy plus Time.
3 weeks later, she still isnt laughing at that one.
You know I never understood why a Mom lugging a toddler around would want to wear something that could easily become a wardrobe malfunction.
lexmelinda
<font color=blue>Has a Seussical googling DD<br><f
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2006
- Messages
- 3,361
OK................I'm in on this one, too.
FatherForce
Mouseketeer
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2006
- Messages
- 400
Actually, these TR seem to take up A LOT of my time.
Each one has taken about about 3 to 4 hours. I'm writing them at night and then editing them in the AM.
(Trust me, initially these are MUCH longer. I am becoming a merciless editor)
I am very appreciative of folks like Zweihund who have obviously spent time on their TRs, not only to be funny and interesting, but also to balance that with information about the trip and how it might relate others who have already cruised or might be preparing to to cruise.
I also have a job and family.
Now, I can't speak for SleepyDog.
He's a kept man who just lays around the divan eating bon bons all day so I don't know what his excuse is.
( is there an Emoticon for knowing sarcastic laughter?)
Thanks for everyone's nice comments.
Next installment should be up soon.
I've been in meetings all day.
Each one has taken about about 3 to 4 hours. I'm writing them at night and then editing them in the AM.
(Trust me, initially these are MUCH longer. I am becoming a merciless editor)
I am very appreciative of folks like Zweihund who have obviously spent time on their TRs, not only to be funny and interesting, but also to balance that with information about the trip and how it might relate others who have already cruised or might be preparing to to cruise.
I also have a job and family.
Now, I can't speak for SleepyDog.
He's a kept man who just lays around the divan eating bon bons all day so I don't know what his excuse is.
( is there an Emoticon for knowing sarcastic laughter?)
Thanks for everyone's nice comments.
Next installment should be up soon.
I've been in meetings all day.
zweihund
I tagged myself. I'm it.
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2006
- Messages
- 2,638
FatherForce said:
Thanks, FF
I too was amazed at how much time these things take to write.....it took me a good 2-3 hours per installment and I am generally a pretty quick writer. Still though, it's worth it when you see the finished product and get so many compliments.
I will give you one right now:
Funny stuff!
And the weird thing is......Wilhelm was my maiden name! Are you sure they didn't announce the "wall-heim", "whillem" or "williams" family? Because that's all anyone ever did with me. I'm a Jacques now (aka "jack-ease", "ja-kwez" or "jacks"). I think growing up Wilhelm prepared me for the gross atrocities of mispronunciations I would have to endure as a married woman.
-
Have You Committed These 5 Disney Friendship Deal-Breakers?
-
What Time Can You Board the Ship on the Day Your Disney Cruise Line Vacation Begins?
-
5 Products To Make Your Travel to Disney Easier
-
10 Easy Ways To Make Your Disney Trip More Magical
-
New Disney Merch: Fall Loungewear and Homewares
-
Disney Destiny Ship Floats Out of Meyer Werft Shipyard in Germany
-
Are International Parks Outpacing the U.S. in Creativity?
- Walt Disney World News
- Walt Disney World Articles
- Disney Cruise Line News
- Disneyland News
- General Disney News
- Universal Orlando News
GET UP TO A $1000 SHIPBOARD CREDIT AND AN EXCLUSIVE GIFT!
If you make your Disney Cruise Line reservation with Dreams Unlimited Travel you’ll receive these incredible shipboard credits to spend on your cruise!
New Posts
-
-
Resort Thread Walt Disney World SWAN, DOLPHIN & SWAN RESERVE Resorts
- Latest: Isthisnormalatdisney
-
-
-
Receive up to $1,000 in Onboard Credit and a Gift Basket!
That’s right — when you book your Disney Cruise with Dreams Unlimited Travel, you’ll receive incredible shipboard credits to spend during your vacation!
CLICK HERE
That’s right — when you book your Disney Cruise with Dreams Unlimited Travel, you’ll receive incredible shipboard credits to spend during your vacation!
CLICK HERE
