DWhittles said:
You asked if purple in my hair is "appropriate" for a mom of two. I ask you why isn't it?
I did a great deal of soul searching and I realized that while much of who I am has changed since I was 19, one thing hasn't changed and that is that I'm 100% sure I'm never going to fit in with the "general population"
When I used to work for a corporate office I'd take the NJ Transit train and then the PATH and I'd be riding with all these business types in their suits and pearls and heels and I KNEW I didn't fit in with them. Just as I knew in 6th grade I didn't fit in with the kids I was trying so hard to be like.
If you take a look at MySpace page, the friends I have listed are the people, or the style of people I feel most comfterable with.
People who aren't so mainstream, people who are a little off the normal path.
I'm the same way. It's not a matter of trying to go backwards. It's a matter of trying to go forward and be true to ME. To do what feels right to me and be who I know I am.
Does that make sense at all?
There is a group that I've discovered and joined called Punky Moms and Goth Moms and they get together once a month and do something fun in the city. They, like me, aren't mainstream. They are a bit odd and freakish but aren't afraid to be who they are and realize they can still be good parents...
So do I want to do this? Yes, I do. It's not for any other reason that it's how I'm going to feel most comfterable in my own skin.
Diana,
Ask ANYONE who knows me, hon. I do not fit in with the general population. I am a computer geek who routinely gets together with a group of guys and plays Dungeons and Dragons, owns at least a dozen medieval replica swords, can quote to you from history books on ancient civilizations, plays Play Station games when I get home from work, photographs graveyards as a hobby, enjoys the sports of fencing and falconry, and recognizes the entire Egyptian hieroglyph "alphabet" without needing to consult a guide.
I am NOT like the average woman in her 20's off the street.
But no one needs to know that by looking at me.
Outside of the ren faire, I dress like an average 28 year old woman. I stopped dying my hair when I was about 19. I stopped dressing all crazy punk when I was in college because I wanted to get a real job and be taken seriously.
Did it change who I was? Heck no! I'm still the same old me.
And you can still be the same old you. Without the purple hair. Why is it innapropriate? Well, I guess, if you want to get technical, there is no one real answer to that. But if you want to be taken seriously, be successful in life and earn a good living for your family's future, you should really think about how people will react to that.
Purple hair on a 19 year old? Cute and kind of trendy.
Purple hair on a woman in her mid 20's? Not so much.
Personally, I'll take the business clothes for 8 hours a day because it helps me earn a paycheck, which I can use when I come home to pay for the hobbies and pasttimes that make me who I am. That paycheck buys me D&D books, tickets to museums to look at ancient artifacts, and games for the PS2.
No one is how they dress or how they dye their hair. At least, no one who has reached a level of maturity that most typically do after college is over and the real world begins.
All of my punky goth friends from high school, all the guys and girls I used to skateboard with back in the day, they all look like the mainstream now. One of them even ran for state senate a few years ago...as a Republican, no less!But they aren't mainstream. They're the same people I always knew, they just dress like grown ups now.
You sound like you are dreaming of a past that is gone, Diana. The past is over. What you need to do is find a way to enjoy your future as an adult, with 2 children who depend on you.
Good luck.
~S
Platinum blonde with purple ends just don't seem to fit in with the Berkshires. 
