The Battle For My Wallet VI: The Trip Report That Isn’t a Trip Report (P.24, 11/24)

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ZZUB

Roll Tide, Mean It
Joined
May 9, 2003
I’ve lost.

At this point, I don’t even have a wallet anymore. Disney took that from me too. Not so much took. It’s obvious even to me that I willfully handed it over. I'd take my t-shirt and wave it in surrender like the French, but Disney took the shirt off my back as well.

Yeah, they're like that. Give them an inch, and they'll charge you for the mile.

Many years ago, I first observed that there was a perpetual battle between Disney and me to keep the money in my pocket. Any careful observer of my previous musings on the topic will have noted that I rarely, if ever, win these battles. That we continue to return year after year, after year, is testimony to Disney’s success in sucking the hard-earned greenbacks out of my formerly tightly held wallet. It’s as if Disney was AIG and I was the federal government.

They’ve got me. And they know it.

Oh sure, we go during the so-called value season and we have been known to take advantage of something curiously described as Free Dining but no doubt I’m spending more and more, and more, each year on our vacations to Disney World. At this point, it’s akin to buying something originally marked up 90%, now on clearance for 50% off, and thinking you got a bargain. When it was something you didn’t really need to begin with.

Or did you?

Yes, like many not-quite middle aged Americans, I have fallen into the trap of describing vacation as a near-necessity. True necessities are food, clothing, housing and healthcare. (Note bene: these are necessities not rights. Don’t be fooled by the advertising.). Taking some time away from the daily grind of work and school and yard and chores and the other myriad activities that make up a week in the ZZUB household, is important. Even though I make time to spend with my wife and my girls at home, it is undeniably true that I am different on vacation. We all are. And we enjoy that time together. So as long as God allows us to have the resources to do so, we will take vacations.

Evidently to Disney World.

“I thought this joker promised us he was going to stop pounding out this drivel?” I can hear you wondering. It is true that when I concluded the last Battle for My Wallet, I wondered aloud whether I would continue writing these things. Right now you’re wondering whether you’re still reading these things.

For weeks now, I've been saying to the Family ZZUB and the handful of other people who know me as ZZUB, "I am not writing another trip report." Most everytime, my bold pronoucement has been met with a sarcastic eye roll. Which I found both rude and unhelpful. Like Keith Olberman. Except, unlike Mr. Olberman, my critics were not deluded loons, hopped up on a Kool Aid-induced sugar rush.

Indeed, I am not writing another Trip Report.

It is writing me.

Not it's not either. I don't even know what that means.

I also don't fully comprehend how Splenda is called "real" sugar when clearly it isn't. But hey, my education is in law not science.

Althought that never stopped Al Gore.

Nevertheless, this will be unlike the previous Battles in form if not content. This Trip Report will not be a nearly-year long endeavor which frequently finds me pouring over the minutiae of the vomit splatters and bed stains, the degradation of service, the heat, the smells, the ecstasy of a piece of cake that makes a tingle go up my leg at the mere mention of it.

It will be all of those things. But I will confine it to a handful of chapters instead.

Rather than taking a generally chronological approach to unfolding our story, there will be fewer chapters in this Trip Report, which isn't a Trip Report. Each chapter will be built around a theme: Getting There; Where We Stayed, What We Ate, What We Rode, Smells, Cast Members With Poop Cramps, Humidity and Hurricanes, Grammatical Sins Against Humanity, and finally, The Missing Bag, a Metaphor.

This is the prologue, by the way.

I have loved Disney World ever since I was 3 or 4. The precise age depends upon whether my Mom or Dad is telling the story of when they first took us to Disney World. It was either 1971 or 1972. Suffice it to say, I’ve been in love with Disney World for a long time. Longer than Barack Obama was voting “present” in the Illinois Legislature and longer than John McCain has been in the Senate. Even longer than ER has been on the air and longer than Fat Phil Fulmer has been sidling up to the Golden Corral feed bar. Well, not that long. ZZUB's just being hyperbolic. Chances are you have been in love with Disney for just as long. Why else would you be here?

I’ve written extensively about my love affair with the World and what kind of nostalgia trip I experience each time we’re back there. So I won’t belabor the point too terribly here. Ever since I first set foot in Walt’s World, I was enamored, especially enamored, of one place. The Contemporary Resort. Its cavernous atrium, its proximity to the Magic Kingdom, its all you can eat fried chicken and spaghetti. The Castle is Disney World to some people. To others it’s Spaceship Earth. For me it’s the slanted and modern looking cement and glass of the Contemporary Resort with the wicked cool Monorail slicing through.

Disney2008397.jpg

I make it a point to go there on every visit to Disney World. With very few exceptions, if I’ve been in the World, I’ve been in the Contemporary. And I confess I get a little bit jazzed walking in the door every time. No matter if I’m coming off the Monorail from the Magic Kingdom, coming off the boat from the Wilderness Lodge, pulling up to the front to valet my car because we’re having dinner at Chef Mickey’s. I like to be there.

I have an inkling why that is, and if you’ve read along with me, you know why too.

How big a fan am I of the Contemporary? Well you know that we go there on every trip and you know that we eat at Chef Mickey’s every time and you know that the BVG has a tractor beam on my wallet in a way no other Disney gift shop does. Until a Teutonic-like regime limited access, we used to watch the fireworks from the fifteenth floor. No one went up there then. We went because ZZUB has a thing with getting up on the roof of buildings. Or I did. I’ve outgrown that. Mostly. I’ve been on the roof of the Fountainbleu Hilton on Miami Beach, the Marriot Marquis in Atlanta, ten Hoor Hall at Alabama and the Contemporary Resort. Just to name a few I’ve accessed. We were going to the fifteenth floor before anyone else knew you could. Before the internet was even a glint in Al Gore’s eye. Or man-made global warming for that matter.

But it wasn’t just the Contemporary’s gift shop and roof which enamored me. Back in 1996, my wife and I got roped into meeting my family at Sea World. We arrived in Orlando several hours ahead of them and we had time to kill. Where did we go? The Contemporary of course. We hung out in what was then called the Food and Fun Center and played air hockey for hours.

I could go on and on about the Contemporary Resort.

As if I haven’t already. You’ll recall I wrote an entire chapter about a slice of cake I met once and fell in love with, so maybe a few paragraphs about the Contemporary isn’t, you know, that unusual. For me.

My entire life, I’ve wanted to stay at the Contemporary. To sit on my balcony and look out at the Magic Kingdom. To just get to look at it. For hours. Days if I want to. Growing up, we always stayed off property. At a Days Inn/Days Lodge (honk if you remember those). The lone time we stayed on property was in the Polynesian. But we never stayed in the Contemporary.

Although my parents weren’t rich, we were ok. Middle class. We had a nice house, nice cars. Took nice vacations. I use “nice” because it means everything and it means nothing. It’s like Barack Obama. You can see in it what you want to see. It wasn’t until my parents divorced that I knew what poor looked like. Not poor as compared with the third world, but poor. Free cheese from the government poor. Only one pair of shoes poor. A well worn pair of canvas sneakers which ripped across the top and which I hid from my mom for weeks before she eventually saw it, poor.

I hated being that poor. Having had a nice house with our own pool and a big bedroom and plenty of everything then suddenly having nothing, stirred something inside of me. It inspired me to work hard to make sure I always had what I wanted.

It’s the reason I started working at 14. It's the reason I have more shoes now than the average guy. It’s because I’m still trying to replace the shoes I lost when I was a young teenager. Because I promised myself then that I’d never be that poor again. It’s the reason we eat out more than we should, or I stop at the store on the way home to pick up something else for dinner. Because in my head, buying what I want at the grocery store is freedom. It’s the reason I work hard at what I do. And compulsively save for a rainy day.

Anyway, one thing I've realized about myself is that a lot of the decisions I make now are because of choices that affected me as a little boy.

Wanting to stay at the Contemporary is not much different.

When I was a kid, sucking back all you can eat fried chicken and watching Monorail blue go by, I didn't so much long to stay there. I was happy just being in Disney World. And when you’re 5 or 10, you don’t know the difference between the Days Inn/Days Lodge and the Contemporary. A hotel is a hotel. Although, when we stayed at the Polynesian, I remember thinking the pool was a lot of fun and I liked the speed boats we rented. And even though we stayed the next few trips at the Days Inn/Days Lodge, I just expected the Contemporary was on Mom and Dad's horizon. But they had something else on the horizon and soon enough, we stopped going to Disney World altogether.

In the hot afternoons that followed their divorce, I'd sit alone and stare at the pictures from our many trips, studying the pages of Dad's Black D souvenir book. I recognized then that staying at the Contemporary was something else we'd lost. And I began dreaming of the day I would stay there.

Which would be pitiful if you didn’t have the story of the ripped pair of shoes and free government issued cheese. In context, dreaming of a day when I would take my family to stay at the Contemporary isn’t so ludicrous.

I mean, as far as dreams go, this one is fairly shallow. Martin Luther King dreamt of a world where children of all races played together, Jim Lovell dreamed of walking on the moon, Daniel Ruettiger dreamed of playing football for Notre Dame. ZZUB dreamed of staying in the Contemporary.

Which is precisely why NO ONE is writing movies about my life.

And it’s also why, part of the reason why, I write under this clever pseudonym. Yes, I dreamed of staying in the Contemporary. I don’t mean in the sense that my life built towards this moment, rather more in the sense of this was something I wanted to do for a very long time. Since I was a kid and we cruised through the Grand Canyon Concourse on a Monorail destined for the Magic Kingdom and since I was a young teenager and realized it was something we couldn't afford to do anymore.

Staying at the Contemporary meant I wasn’t a suddenly poor kid eating government issued cheese and hiding my torn pair of sneakers from my Mom.

When I was in law school and my wife and I were grateful to have two days and one night at All Star Sports, we’d have dinner at Chef Mickey’s and I’d spur myself on to work harder in school because I planned to stay there one day with her. After I started practicing, and we took a four day/three night trip, staying at the newly renamed Port Orleans Riverside, I reasoned we were getting closer to that day. Because we could now stay for three nights. In a moderate.

Ironically, “that day” came several years ago. We could afford to do this for a while now. But not in the way I wanted to do it. You see, when you pine away for something, a furtive kiss behind the gym isn’t what you really want. I didn’t want to blow it all on one night or two. Or four. When we stayed at the Contemporary, I wanted to STAY at the Contemporary. For a week. With a view of the Magic Kingdom from my room. It is this same kind of discipline that keeps me on the eliptical 4 nights a week and away from the Swiss Cake Rolls I love so much.

Because otherwise, I'd sell what's left of my hair for a really good Swiss Cake Roll. And she knows it, too, that Li'l Debbie. That temptress!

When I first came close to booking the Contemporary a few years back, you couldn’t reserve a Magic Kingdom view. You could only request it. This caused me no end of agita, For I knew that if we checked in and ended up with a Bay Lake View, my disappointment would swallow me whole. Like Newt Gingrich on a big ol’ pizza pie. But then Disney finally figured out they could charge for the view.

Duh!

You bet your ever-loving refillable mug I’d pay extra for that view.

The ZZUBs aren’t rich. We do ok. We live in a nice house and drive nice cars. Do what you will with the word “nice.” We eat pretty much whatever we want. We have more than one pair of shoes. We take nice vacations every year. And we have come so far from where we were back in the day before, during and after law school. I’ve come so far from the little boy who thought the Contemporary was a really cool looking building. I’m a good distance away from the young teenager, staring wistfully at a photo album and souvenir book, longing to be back in Disney World. And yet, I carry that with me.

That we do ok is pretty much a miracle to me. I don’t for a minute take for granted what God has blessed me with. I wasn’t the sharpest guy in college or law school. Oh I’ve got game, don’t get me wrong. I’m quick on my feet and I don’t shy away from hard work. And in my line of work, that’s valued just as much. So I’m never going to write legal treatises, but give me a few minutes and I’ll craft an argument to persuade Elvis he’s not really dead. I use what I’ve got. And because I’m acutely aware of my weaknesses, I’m especially grateful for the blessings and rewards God has allowed me to reap.

Just getting to return to Disney World in 1994 was a blessing. Getting to stay on property at the All Stars was awesome. Spending three nights at Port Orleans Riverside was huge. And when we stepped it up to week long trips, that was monumental. In other words, making the decision to finally stay at the Contemporary wasn’t hasty. Nor was the experience taken for granted.

We booked the bounce back special before we checked out of the Wilderness Lodge last year. And initially I booked a week at the Lodge. But a few weeks after we got home I thought more of the decision and decided it was time.

And so I called Disney and changed the reservation to a week at the Contemporary.

The Contemporary Resort. Magic Kingdom View. Me. My wife and girls. For nine days and eight nights.

It really shouldn’t be as significant as it is. But well, it is.

Once it was booked and we got through the initial excitement of “Wow! We’re actually going to stay at the Contemporary this year!” I began to fear the experience I’ve dreamed of for so many years would disappoint me. What if we got there and there was no there there?

I have some experience with this line of thinking.

But the amazing thing is this: as we continued our planning and dreaming, I realized that the “there” wasn’t going to be found on the balcony of the Contemporary over looking the Magic Kingdom. Sure, I looked forward to it and tried to imagine what it would be like to open the door to our room and to walk out on our balcony and take it all in. But that isn’t the climax of this story. No, getting there is the “there” I’ve been dreaming of since I wore husky jeans and thought Fonzie was cool.

Just being able to book the trip and plan for it was the thing I pined for. And now I got to do that.

Maybe it isn’t curing a disease, or walking on the moon, or playing football for Notre Dame, but to a kid whose family is ripped apart like the shoes he hides from his Mom, making your way in this world and doing alright by your family is just as significant.

Anyway, this is just the beginning.

__

Click Here For Chapter Two:
 
Zzub, I'm delighted to see that you are writing again! :yay: Some of us lurkers out here feel like we got to know your family in your last trip reports, and I for one would really like un update on the girls. I've missed your humor and look forward to more. :)
 
I am so looking forward to reading this new TR. Thank you for changing your mind. I read only a few TR's and yours have always been at the top of my list.

Write on Mr. Zubb, write on....
 
What a nice morning this has been. Hugs from my kids :hug: and a ZZUB report. And it's not even 8am yet Looking forward to hearing the rest. :)
 
You probably wouldn't believe me if I said I was browsing TR's last night to see if perhaps you'd decided to grace us with another "Battle..." installment...

But I was!

So imagine my excitement to log on this morning and find "Battle VI" beckoning me from the front page.



Zzub's back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :banana:


.
 
Basketball - Michael Jordan - check!
Football - Brett Favre - check!
Cycling - Lance Armstrong - check!
Trip Report Writing - ZZUB - check! check!

I'm looking forward to reading about this year's ZZUB family adventures. :)
 
ZZUB - Thank you for a great beginning to a trip report that is not a trip report. It's great to hear that you have finally achieved that goal of staying in the Contemporary with that view of the Castle for whole vacation! Looking forward to more.

Ty
 
So glad to hear from you again ZZUB! I really relate to how you feel. Growing up, the only vacations I got were to go see family. I dreamed and wished to go to Disney. In my mind, that was the ultimate family vacation. I finally got to go with my husband and my son 4 years ago. Just planning that trip was exciting. Talking to my first castmember on the phone during the Superbowl that February booking the trip is unforgettable. I cried the first time I walked on Mainstreet USA, it wasn't just the castle though, it was the whole picture. The music, smells, heat, humidity, balloons and families everywhere. We have been there 3 times now, and we long to get back. I praise God that he has given our family these opportunities. We are so blessed. I just wanted you to know that I love your reports, and this first installment really hit home to me. God bless you and your family.
 
I'm usually more of a lurker, but I have read each of your trip reports and have enjoyed getting to know you and your family. I can't wait to read about your most recent trip.
 
I logged on this morning and I found your new report!! I have been looking on here the last few days for either a trip report from MissCammie or from ZZUB and now I have one! I knew you would be going back and I love hearing about your adventures. Even without pictures you do such an amazing job of telling a story. I thank you for your hard work. We just had a little girl in July, so we are busy busy. I cannot wait to take her to Disney World to experience the joy you write about. It will be a while, so for now I will live through you!

Thanks so much.
 
Yay ZZUB! I am so happy you are writing another report (or non-report). The Contemporary is my favorite resort also - can't wait to read about your experience there. :goodvibes
 
How awesome is this Monday...I log on to see a new ZZUB trip report! Once again, amazing. You really are an inspiration to those who long to write trip reports but just haven't gotten up the nerve yet.

:)
 
ZZ, Esq.

Thank you for taking the time, making the effort, writing so well, and sharing, again. Everyone (almost) on the DisBoards gets the feeling, the magic, the fun. But very few get it, and can write it, and share it the way you do. We are lucky to have your writing. Thanks for doing it again.
 
Oh my goodness! Seeing your new trip report that's not a trip report was as good as getting my Magical Express luggage tags in the mail last week!!:banana: Thank you for sharing with us once again.
 
What a great way to start my every other Monday morning!

Thanks for changing your mind Zzub. I love hearing your stories about you and your family.

Canadian restrooms~not so much!!
 
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