Chapter Fourteen: Making Great Time
After the Puppies of Progress we stopped for some decision making. Our original plan was to stay for Spectro and Wishes! and then head back to the Lodge. But given the changes in my wifes condition, I wasnt sure if we shouldnt just head back to the Lodge early. Get away from the crowds. Get some rest. We stopped in that area in front of the PeopleMover speed ramp to weigh out our options. We could hear a whole lot of great Tomorrowland sounds. The background music. Part of the narration of the PeopleMover. The giddy talk of people on their way to ride Space Mountain.
You can feel the air there, too. Well, you can feel the air virtually anywhere in Orlando, but for those of us who live in a world with no discernable humidity, the stickiness and weight of air in Disney World is a Disney thing.
And we didnt need a Fastpass for it either.
So we hovered for a minute to consider our options. Ordinarily, I resent and despise these re-grouping moments. I mock people I see doing it. And so do you. Only rookies stand around with the map open trying to figure out what to do next. Bona fide Disney Dorks have planned out their trips months in advance. Revised their itineraries before they arrived and, if youre like me, have Plans B and C in place.
For the record: I was not in band in high school.
Not that theres anything wrong with that.
Oddly enough, I actually welcomed this re-group discussion. I was just glad we were there at all. We had only been on property a little over 24 hours and at this point, I still wasnt certain we were going to stay the entire week.
My wife said she was feeling ok. We decided that although some extra rest would serve us all well, we could catch up on our rest later. How often do we get to see SpectroMagic and Wishes!? But we were not going to linger after Wishes! We were going to beat cleats out of the park. Which meant we were not going to watch Spectro and Wishes! from our usual watching place (weve done it once, and already its the usual watching place).
Instead, we decided wed watch Spectro and Wishes! from in front of the train station so that as soon as Wishes! was over, we could make a run for the Lodge boat.
The plan was hatched. We moved with dispatch.
Quit rhyming now, I mean it.
Anyone want a peanut?
Curiously, it seems that the wheelchair we rented had been imbued with magical powers.
A cloaking device.
Like our stroller, the wheelchair was invisible.
However, it was even harder to stop because with both the weight of my daughter and my wife (who isnt heavy at all, but does in fact weigh more than my pre-schooler) , I really had to pull hard on it to bring it to a stop when some oblivion walked right in front of me. Which happened with alarming frequency.
We weaved, we bobbed, we jigged and jogged and we did three other things which all mean the same thing.
The thing about that joke is: you see it coming but theres nothing you can do to avoid it.
We hung a left at the hub and marched up Mainstreet and headed right at the flag pole. I parked my wife and daughter on the curb right in front of Guest Relations. It was a fantastic spot because there werent a lot of people vying for those positions. It was close to the exit. It was close to a vending cart.
God Bless Disney World.
Youre never far from a vending cart.
No sooner had I parked the chair then the war in my head began.
To snack or not to snack.
Stand still and wait for Spectromagic or try your luck at getting a snack and getting back.
I wasted five valuable minutes warring in my head. In hindsight, it probably was ill-advised for me to announce, "I will not be having a snack." Eventually I decided that Spectromagic is more enjoyable with popcorn and pop (Coke, soda, Peps, whatever). I looked over at the vending cart to my right and the line appeared short. I had a few minutes before the start of the parade so I ran over there. Literally.
I was second in line. No problem.
If I was truly in a magic kingdom. But as it turns out, I was in Disney World. Where customer service and common sense are as rare as deodorant.
Calm down. Im not going to fly into another rage. Dont go all numb again.
But.
Although I was only second in line, and although it was five minutes until the parade started, there was a shift change at the vending cart. I didnt understand it either, but there it was. And because of the shift change, one person had to log off and the next guy had to log on and then of course there was a problem with the printer.
My kingdom for a register journal.
I could hear the opening notes to Spectro and I looked over to see the first floats coming out of the gate by the Fire Station. I sighed. Eventually, Chipper was able to make his printer work and I received my popcorn and pop. And a crumpled up receipt. Truthfully, I wasnt too raged up at this. It was so consistent with the rest of the day, I would have been more surprised if it hadnt happened this way.
Besides, the Spectro music always makes me smile. There was a family of newbies next to us who I may have engaged in conversation during the long breaks between floats. We normally watch Spectro from farther down the parade route and Ive never noticed the huge gaps before, but from the front of Mainstreet, at least on that night, there were huge gaps between floats. It was kind of cool because at each gap, two CMs would hold ropes across Mainstreet for people to cross. That level of efficiency is classic Disney.
I dont have much to say about the newbies standing next to us except that theyd never seen Spectro before and they seemed to think it was pretty cool. It was also remarkably easy for me to work into the conversation that we were staying at the Wilderness Lodge. They wondered about the creepy bat float and, oddly enough, I had no answer for them. I have no clue what movie it's from or why it is in the parade.
Except that it seems to be a Disney rule that you scare the crap out of little kids.
When Spectro ended, a good number of people bolted the park. This both surprised and delighted me. We moved over to the very front of the train station facing the Castle with a direct center view for Wishes! We had about 30 minutes to kill so my wife got out of the chair to walk to the bathroom with our daughter. This surely caused more than one person to wonder what sort of supernatural healing she had just experienced. In order to enhance their experience, when she stood up I shouted, You can walk?! Oh praise God! You can walk!!
She slapped me with her eyes as she walked towards the bathroom.
I sat in the chair and took a load off.
When they came back, I mapped out our ditch and exit plans. I wasnt certain how far we would be allowed to take the chair, but I assumed wed be allowed to take it at least as far at the turnstiles. As we learned later in the week, there is no consistency with this. At EPCOT one night we were able to take the chair all the way up the Monorail platform. Go figure.
My plan was to juggy quickly to the left once Wishes! ended. Go through the tunnel, ditch the chair and run like Schpupin! to a big boy ride to make it to the Lodge boat dock before the rest of the bargain basement crazies got out of there.
My daughter hates loud noise and fireworks are loud. We put ear plugs in her ears to help muffle the sound. I thought she had conquered this fear the year before but as it turns out, she was ready to embrace the fear again this year. In my last Trip Report, I explained that we try to teach our daughter not to give into fear. We encourage her to stare down things shes afraid of. She also has a thing with heights, so she didnt want to sit on my shoulders. She wanted me to just hold her. I decided to confront only one phobia at a time.
So I held her tightly on my side while she held one hand over each ear. Wishes! is a great fireworks show. For dads who have a bum knee and have to hold their daughters. Not on their shoulders. Because there are at least two different times during Wishes! when you can put your daughter down for a spell.
The first one is right after the Hercules section/mini-climax. When most of the newbies start to leave because they think its over. I put her down for a spell and stretched out my knee. Good grief Im getting old.
Gonna be weather.
Then I quickly picked her back up and held her on my other side. Right after the Fantasia section, theres a creepy Snow White witch section. Which freaks my daughter out. Pursuant to the Disney rule. So I put her down again and got a good break until the Blue Fairy appears and then I hoisted her back up on the other side for the end of the show. As the bright lights were exploding all around the Castle and the music was loud in our ears, I squeezed my little girl tightly. Because I could. Because I wanted to remember what she felt like in my arms. While it is still today and I still get to hold her. Yeah, my knee was throbbing and yeah, I was worried about some things and yeah I was annoyed by the way the World is devolving, but moments like these are rare and wonderful. And worth the pain and aggravation.
I wanted that moment to last a bit longer.
But the music continued at its usual pace which meant in a moment we would have to ditch and run. I had already briefed my wife and daughter on the plan. They knew their roles.
Make a wish and do as dreamers do. Just do as dreamers do.
I leaned down and told my wife to get ready.
Make a wish. Wishes!
I told my daughter to get ready.
Dream a dream. Wishes!
I told the people in front of us to get ready.
Trust your heart.
I compulsively felt my pockets to make sure I had my Keys to the World and my cash.
And Your Wish.
I released the left side wheelchair brake with my foot.
Will.
I released the other side.
Come.
I began backing the chair up a touch.
True.
As they held the last note and the final bursts of fireworks exploded, in one single, fluid motion, I flung my daughter off my side and into the chair. Then before Jiminy Cricket could remark on what a little wishing could do, I had the wheelchair headed towards the tunnel. I pushed it ahead several feet grabbed the backpack off the handles and put it on my back and then took hold of the handles again and pressed on. People were starting to crowd in around us. The pressure was terrific. I leaned down and shouted over the din.
When I say ditch!' get up quickly and run.
My wife said, I cant run, ZZUB.
Then die in the crowd, Woman! Weve gotta move!
As we got close to the turnstile, I shouted, Ditch! Ditch! Ditch!
In hindsight, shouting the word "ditch!" in a noisy crowd wasn't the wisest choice.
The people next to us were clearly confused by it and wondered why I was yelling it at my wheelchair bound wife.
To her credit, my wife got up and moved quickly towards the gate. I positioned the chair to the side, then caught up with them and scooped my daughter up in my arms. We ran like morons toward the boat dock.
Where we sat and waited for 15 minutes for the next boat.
My wife resisted the urge to tell me what an idiot I was for rushing them out of the Magic Kingdom.
Shes been married to me for 11 years. She knows what kind of jerkstore she hitched her star to. If I do nothing else correctly, I make good time.
Once the boat arrived, we hopped on board and enjoyed the quiet, cool ride back to the Lodge. It was peaceful.
It was not a bus.
_____________
Click Here For Chapter Fifteen
Of course only time will tell, but there is nowhere to go but up!
)
but DD and I love that float.
) I think we've got your number.
