The Battle For My Wallet IV: Return of the ZZUBs (Addendum, p.85; 07/12)

[WDW Poly Princess]

If I sing this song all night, I'm blaming ZZUB-arella!
Because it's now stuck in my head, What a sneaky fella!

 

[Kay7979]

I did NOT fall asleep in the lobby of the Wilderness Lodge. I also did not drool on myself. Make any audible sleeping noises. Or lose my toupee.

I don’t wear a toupee.

I don’t need a toupee.

Thanks for that clarification. I was wondering if you put on a hat first thing in the morning because you were hair folically challenged.

It would be dishonest to call this an assault on my wallet. There was no real battle. I just walked in the door, opened my wallet and threw my money in the air. I surrendered faster than the French. And I smelled better. The only shock and awe of this campaign was at the register when I realized how much we spent.

I’m sure she walked past several younger men to be with this guy because she was attracted to his hairy ears and bushy eyebrows. If she said two words to him during dinner, they were, “you done?” I vaguely recall her yelling that into his hearing aide.

No doubt he is a charming conversationalist. In private. After his nap and meds.

At $29.99 a person, I’m grateful Disney has come up with such delicacies as melted yogurt.

It's a redneck delicacy. What's the matter with you, man?

After your previous long nap, I hope you left the GF, went back to the Lodge and stayed up till 2 AM riding the stick ponies around the lobby while singing theme songs from old Westerns.

 

[kristinanderic]

Wow you actually added to your post, I was beginning to think something happened to you!!

 

[LaLa]

To begin with, based on some feedback, it appears a clarification is in order.

I did NOT fall asleep in the lobby of the Wilderness Lodge. I also did not drool on myself. Make any audible sleeping noises. Or lose my toupee.

I don’t wear a toupee.

I don’t need a toupee.

I fell asleep in the alcove ABOVE the lobby of the Wilderness Lodge. Where I was hardly noticed.

They don't call it the Year of a Million Dreams for nothin'. Keep dreamin' Bagel Boy. And it was clearly the lobby-a-rella.

After my discreet and accidental nap, I went and collected our laundry. So much for the Disney magic. Not only was it not folded and neatly put into a basket for me, but it was still in the dryer. And partially damp.

Sounds like a certifiably magical moment to me. You should've gotten a certificate for that.

exhorted

triumvirate

porte-cochere

dinner-a-rella

One of these things is not like the others, one of these things just doesn't belong.

When we walked up to the host stand, I noticed the Fairy Godmother-a-rella: she’s standing by the door. Fairy Godmother-rella; she’s wearing more makeup than a . . .

clerk in a dollar store?

It would be dishonest to call this an assault on my wallet. There was no real battle. I just walked in the door, opened my wallet and threw my money in the air. I surrendered faster than the French. And I smelled better. The only shock and awe of this campaign was at the register when I realized how much we spent.

When we were there in 2005, we we’re like the Clintons leaving the White House. I think we may have grabbed a Disney rug.

Both of those killed me. That was some funny stuff.

Out of respect for the recently dead, I won’t make any further comments about this couple. Except to say that I’m sure she wasn’t with him for his money.

But I avoided it like Trim Spa.

Should I start keeping count now?

After a while, wearing that much hairspray is bound to affect your cognitive reasoning skills.

Look what it did to Jimmy Johnson.

And ZZUB.


Loved this one, Z. It was worth the wait because it was full of funny. Not to be confused with full on funny. But it was that too. Sorry you weren't thrilled with 1900 PF though. They must not have had cake.

Numb.

 

[nicolemarie]

I fell asleep in the alcove ABOVE the lobby of the Wilderness Lodge. Where I was hardly noticed.

Enough already!! You know what? It's your vacation! If you fell asleep in the Lobby, it's OK. As long as your dentures didn't fall out, you have nothing to be ashamed of.

“ZZUB, what time is it really?”
“It’s 7:00. We missed our reservation. We’ll have to eat somewhere else.”
“I know you didn’t let us sleep that long,” she said. She rolled over and craned her neck to see the clock. Exhaling loudly, she rolled back and probably rolled her eyes. It was dark and I couldn’t see that well, but I know my wife. She knows me too. I never tell her the correct time when she asks. Which makes me wonder why she still asks.

Immaturity.

It does a marriage good.

World of Disney has always vexed me. It’s too much. Not only is it wall to wall to wall Disney stuff, our stop in WOD almost always comes on our last day. On the way out. It’s the last chance to grab that "must have" Disney crap that you can’t live without. So there’s always an air of grabbiness to our visits because we know we won’t be back for a year. When we were there in 2005, we we’re like the Clintons leaving the White House. I think we may have grabbed a Disney rug.

First off, the Clinton bit was funny.

Second - are you sure you didn't complete the Mickey Ears acrylic set for Frick and La? Cause y'all could have a slammin' party if you did. I'll bring the cake from 7-11. I can't remember what it's called.

I didn’t try the Strawberry soup because I’m a soup purist. Soup should have meat, vegetables and broth. Not fruit.

Freaky fruit soup borg. Soup should have meat, vegetables and broth. And it should be hot. I love strawberries. And I love soup. But a combination of the two is just wrong.

During dessert, the kids to our right melted down. HUGE. We tried not to make eye contact with the parents. They were doing their level best to bring it under control. It’s funny. Before we had kids, I would have been extremely critical of parents whose kids came unhinged. Now, I just stared into my cobbler and softly sang, there-but-for-the-grace-of-God-go-us-a-rella.

Borg again. The Queen of the Condescending Look here. Pre-kids. But the mental picture this conjures up is full on funny. And ain't it the truth - we are all one false move away from the same incident the whole time we're on vacation.

But when the little NM's do meltdown, I usually wait until we're in the middle of a big crowd and I start screaming at them "STOP THAT CRYING!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THIS VACATION COST YOUR DADDY AND I? HAVE FUN - NOW!!!!"
-----------

Z - Another hilarious installment. Thanks for bringing the funny to my Monday morning. I'm looking forward to the rest of your report.

NM

 

[lexmelinda]

Running late this morning and no time for a meaningful, quote filled post. Just wanted to say....full-of-funny-a rella! Classic, wonderful ZZUB here. Great job, toast boy.

I give it three and a

 

[Frickles]

Chapter Seventeen: Dinner! The Musical

Nice title. However, I think after two days a-rella will be so played.

Even now as I sit here, I can’t name one thing we bought that afternoon.

I remember you saying you got a new fanny pack to put your lime green Dis ribbon on. So there's one. Oh and you also got golf balls with the Seven Dwarfs on them.

I didn’t try the Strawberry soup because I’m a soup purist. Soup should have meat, vegetables and broth. Not fruit. My wife tried it and said it tasted like melted yogurt. Always a pleasant treat. At $29.99 a person, I’m grateful Disney has come up with such delicacies as melted yogurt.

That just made me nauseous.

Cute chapter Zzub-a-rella!

 

[pigget74]

Good job. Now I have the tune stuck in my head--thanks Can't wait for the next one--please do not make me wait too long!

 

[LegoMom3]

If I sing this song all night, I'm blaming ZZUB-arella!
Because it's now stuck in my head, What a sneaky fella!

Aaaaaaarrrgh!....My sentiments exactly!!! As if lines from Napoleon Dynamite weren't enough to spin around uselessly in my head, now I have
THIS (-a-rella)...!

Zzub, you have a way with words. Great installment!

Oh yeah, can totally relate to World of Disney. Discovered it for the first time last September. Overwhelming it is. Is there such a thing as "too much" Disney?!?!

 

[gottagodisney]

Oh, thank you ZZub for the update! Good to hear you're still in the game. Looking foward to more.

 

[MommyPoppins]

Chapter Seventeen:

During dessert, the kids to our right melted down. HUGE. We tried not to make eye contact with the parents. They were doing their level best to bring it under control. It’s funny. Before we had kids, I would have been extremely critical of parents whose kids came unhinged. Now, I just stared into my cobbler and softly sang, there-but-for-the-grace-of-God-go-us-a-rella.

That's what we always tell people when they ask us how come our children are so well behaved. It's all God's grace! If not for God's grace, I would not have been able to deal with the craptastrophe that awaited when my 2 year old got up(and the fact that my DH caused it because he didn't put shorts on the boy like I said to!)

 

[JKMJ441724]

During dessert, the kids to our right melted down. HUGE. We tried not to make eye contact with the parents. They were doing their level best to bring it under control. It’s funny. Before we had kids, I would have been extremely critical of parents whose kids came unhinged. Now, I just stared into my cobbler and softly sang, there-but-for-the-grace-of-God-go-us-a-rella.

Multiple kids make all the difference in the world!!! Warned ye be.

 

[angelmav]

phew, thanks Zzub, I needed that! I dont know whats worse, waiting on you or JK Rowling. I gotta have something to fill the void! Do you really want me to have to read mels trip report again? Keep em coming!

 

[CampbellScot]

laughed till I cried...that really unattractive silent laughing with a loud snort at the end that makes people think you've pert near lost your mind...unless people actually know you and then they just think "Oh Campbell has arrived at a new level of crazy... " My step son brought me a kleenex and patted my hand...for the tears and the snorting I imagine...all in all a GREAT five minutes!!!

Hmmm...I still have that condescending look at tantruming kids...cuz I don't have any...and my step kids know better...cuz I'm their WICKED step mother and have appropriately threatened them with turret prisons and bathing with birds...they get it...they behave...

good job...more please...

 

[Disfan3]

ZZUB brought it....


way to go...word to ya mutha....


two ligit....two ligit to quit....


I can see paradise by the dashboard lights.....



zzub-a-rella.

 

[bunnysmum]

At last, Rip van Zubble (a-rella) awakes! And not a moment too soon, apparently. We natives were growing plenty restless.

It would be dishonest to call this an assault on my wallet. There was no real battle. I just walked in the door, opened my wallet and threw my money in the air. I surrendered faster than the French. And I smelled better. The only shock and awe of this campaign was at the register when I realized how much we spent.

I vaguely recall her yelling that into his hearing aide.

Well I'm impressed! He really must have had some kind of money to be able to afford a full time aide who does nothing but listen for him. Cool.

After a while, wearing that much hairspray is bound to affect your cognitive reasoning skills.

Prob'ly a toupee. You know, one of those things you don't wear, and don't need.

No, I didn’t fall asleep. My wife and I were talking. That would have been rude.

And completely unprecedented. A-rella.

 

[GeorgiaAristocat]

Just for you Z!

 

[KimAshton]

You don't snore do you??? That would have drawn attention to you.

Cannot wait to read more.

 

[HaleyB]

Zubb-a-relly!
Zubb-a-relly!!

Glad to hear you don't need a toupee.

 

[Kay7979]

Pray tell, would the scene of your infamous nap, where you neither snored nor slept with your mouth open, been here?