The Battle For My Wallet IV: Return of the ZZUBs (Addendum, p.85; 07/12)

ZZUB, my family went to WDW the same week as your family. While there, my husband, my sister and I went to ESPN to eat dinner. My husband had been in the restroom when the bill arrived. Once he saw it and remember that it was "free" he laughed. My sister and I looked at each other and both said "well, roll tide" and thought of you.
 
Well worth the wait. Between you and HappyHaunt I hardly have a spare moment to catch up on all the others let alone work on my own.

I was picturing a grown man jumping up and down on the bed and tried to imagine my own DH doing the same - just wouldn't happen. Made me smile.
 

Chapter Six: My Much Maligned But Still Cool as All Get Out Dog: A Disney Thing

No. Stafford J. didn’t get to come to Disney World with us. Because Disney World doesn’t allow dogs in their rooms. So when we go to Disney, one of Staff’s girlfriends come over to take care of him.

He used to vacation at Puppy Camp.

Until the unfortunate incident. It was a crime of passion. Leave it alone.

We got Stafford when I was in law school. We wanted a puppy but we were poor so we headed to the pound. After looking at some other dogs, my wife spotted him and his brother. Both dogs were cute, but since Stafford stepped over his brother, and on his brother’s head, we thought he had more personality. Evidently, we think stepping on those you love means you have personality. So there’s a window into our lives for you.

Stafford J. is a pound puppy but he’s pretty sensitive about it, so we don’t discuss it. Much. Neither should you, by the way.

He’s part Boxer, part something else. No one knows what else. After the first three years, I stopped caring.

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We liked Stafford immediately and once the waiting period was over, we brought him home. We named him Stafford, after my student loan. It was a reminder that we really didn’t own him at all. When I graduated law school and it came time to begin repaying my loans, we tried to mail them Stafford. But he kept chewing his way out of the box. Lousy dog. I’ve also tried to give them back my law degree. But they don’t want it either. Stafford’s middle initial is J. Like his dad. Oddly enough, my middle initial is actually J. (I knew that you knew that I knew that you knew and all that nonsense).

Soon after we brought Stafford home we discovered he had a speech impediment. He enjoys tweats, and it’s twue that he wikes to sweep on softness. He also wuvs to go on da big boy wides.

That’s right, not only do we verbalize the dog’s inner monologue. We gave him a speech impediment. And yet another window into our world. I wouldn’t blame you one bit if you shut the blinds.

I would.

But I can’t.

His name is Stafford J. but we call him Schpupin. Not just Schpupin, but Schpupin! Like Hillary! Or Lamar! If you remember him. I don’t. As time has passed, he’s become the Schpup (or in his voice, da Schpup!). His name is never spoken. If it is said at all, it is yelled.

Schpupin!

He’s got a great personality: he’s a combination of Tigger’s hyperactivity and Eeyore’s woe-is-me sadness; it’s never enough for him. His royal highness lives a life I would like to live, sleep all day, get served breakfast in bed (no lie, he’s trained my daughter to bring him her weftovers) and work roughly 15 minutes a day. That’s right, under his most recent contract, Stafford is only on duty from 3:00 to 3:15 every afternoon. If someone tries to enter our home after hours, he’s made it abundantly clear he’s “off duty,” and we’re on our own. He’s got a bit of an attitude. Like Donald Duck. Stafford hates squirrels, birds and aver cwitters. They offend him.

But he’s a good boy when he’s not being so bad. He writes fank you notes and sends Cwismas cards. He’s foughtful.

He also wikes to kiss on da wips. Just so you know.

Here he is opening a present on Cwismas morning.

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And here he is cweaning his toes.

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I should point out that not only can my wife and I understand Schpupin’s inner monologue, but we can also understand the inner monologue of most animals. And, as it turns out, many of them know Stafford J. And suffer from his speech impediment.

All of which you needed to know to understand why we love the Penguin Soarin’ commercial. I don’t know if they run this commercial on the east coast. They don’t run it on the left coast. But they run it at Disney World. And we love it. Time was, when we checked into our room in Disney World, we’d turn on the ZippaDeDooDah channel and it would stay on for the length of our stay.

Then it went away.

And we just haven’t been as enamored of the Top 7. It’s just too much.

Noise.

But we like Resort TV. The music is soothing. We also like the channel that cycles through Disney commercials. Because although we’re there spending our money, being constantly assaulted by their marketing machine, we like the commercials that are not disguised as rides, shows, merchandise and “free” transportation.

If you’ve never seen the penguin commercial here it is in short: some penguins are in their natural habitat wondering why they can’t fly. Then one of them gets an idea. He rounds up his friends and they head to Epcot to ride Soarin’. They all have fun.

Because Schpupin! has taught us to understand the inner monologue of all animals, and because they all sound like him, here is the unspoken dialogue from the commercial:

Penguin looks up at the sky and some passing birds, and says, “I wish I could fwy
“Hey! I know. Fowwow me.” The other penguins follow him. “Get outta my way, we gotta get to Epcot.”

Arriving in Disney World, they hop off the twam, “Move it. Dis way. Fowwo me.” They head to Soarin’ where they are met by a chipper Cast Member.
CM: “You again?”
Penguin: “That’s wight, wady! Now getta out my way. We’re gonna fwy

As the penguins take off on Soarin’, they all shout, “Woo Hoo! We’re fwying! We’re fwying

We’re Disney people and I reckon you are too. Why else would you purposefully read this nonsense? Whenever we go to Disney World, there are a handful of Disney Things we have to experience for it to “feel” like a Disney trip. You have your list too. The things that you always do and can’t wait to do because then you know you’re in Disney World. As if the great sucking sound out of your wallet wasn't a clue.

Our list isn’t static. Nor is it concrete. We don’t mark things off on the list. It’s just there. Some things we talk about in advance, “we have to eat at Chef Mickey’s. We always do that.” And some things are just understood amongst us. When we see them, or hear them or experience them; we agree, “We’re in Disney now.”

There are some things that have been a Disney Thing for more than 10 years while others were recently added or fell away. For instance, the ZippaDeeDooDah channel. That was on our Disney Thing list until they took it away. Also, “I can’t believe I’m doing this.” (I’m certain many of you know what that is.) We used to always watch Fantasy in the Sky from the roof of the Contemporary. They don’t have Fantasy in the Sky anymore and they don’t let any old riff raff on the roof of the Contemporary anymore either.

Our Disney Things include (but are not limited to): eating at Chef Mickey’s, riding the monorail, buying a refillable mug, drinking lousy coffee, eating at a food court, eating Pop Tarts, smelling Disney, eating Tonga Toast, watching Wishes!, paging Mr. Morrow, Mr. Tom Morrow and, watching the penguin Soarin’ commercial.

So after I came back in from the balcony, I realized the TV wasn’t on. Our trip really hadn’t begun. My wife was laying on the bed resting so nice and my daughter was exploring the world of her bunk bed. I clicked on the flat screen TV and turned it to the commercial channel. I sat on the bed next to my wife and in short order the penguin commercial came on. And although it had been a year since we’ve seen it, we all know the dialogue. And in unison we cried out, “we’re fwying! We’re fwying!"

Da Schpup! would have been proud.

If he didn’t hate dose fweaking birds so much.

Click Here for Chapter Seven
 
ZZUB said:
He used to vacation at Puppy Camp.

Until the unfortunate incident. It was a crime of passion. Leave it alone.
Rhut-Rho!!!!!

We liked Stafford immediately and once the waiting period was over, we brought him home. We named him Stafford, after my student loan.
Oh. Hahahaha!!! Only YOU!!!!

Oddly enough, my middle initial is actually J. (I knew that you knew that I knew that you knew and all that nonsense).
Ha!!!! I guess now people will believe fully in the power of my mad skillz!!!

Here he is opening a present on Cwismas morning.

877c3896-1.jpg
Aaawww!!!

Our Disney Things include (but are not limited to): eating at Chef Mickey’s, riding the monorail, buying a refillable mug, drinking lousy coffee, eating at a food court, eating Pop Tarts, smelling Disney, eating Tonga Toast, watching Wishes!, paging Mr. Morrow, Mr. Tom Morrow and, watching the penguin Soarin’ commercial.
Me too!!! I know that you know that I know that you know that. Too.
 
Now... THAT... was the ballgame folks!

I haven't laughed that hard in 10 minutes before...in a VERY long time. That I can remember. Right now. Ten minutes... 'cause I had to read it TWICE!

Yes... that was VERY FUNNY. Inspired and completely an insight into your so-called MIND. ZZUB.

What I'm trying to say is this: You are MY KIND of funny. My fellow trip reporter and greatest nemesis. So, therefore, I'm thinking that maybe I'd like to be your friend. For real. Like the kind of friends that call each other and write back and forth and maybe send each other birthday cards. And all that.

But... not really.

Okay... that uncomfortable moment has passed now.

Whew.

That's one UGLY mangy mutt you have there, Z.

No wonder you don't post pictures of yourself. You're doin' us all a big HUGE-O favour.

I think.

To sum the above up: Your dog IS pretty cute. I'll admit it.

My kitten could take him tho.

Wif one wicked cwaw scwatch to the fwont paw.

Cheers, Mel.

:moped:

P.S. You had me at "cweaning"!
 
/
as always flat out fantastic.

And your doggie is just too cute. I suspect the loan was not nearly so cute however.
 
I live in New England and I've never heard of that Penguin Soarin' commercial before :confused3
 
I am getting in on this report a bit late, but it is a wonderful story you are sharing with us!


BTW - the scripture in your signature is my most favorite. I have stopped making too many plans, as God always seems to have His own plans for me!

BTWW - My dog Princess thinks Stafford is HOT and says next time you come to Disney he can stay at our house!!!!
 
Sweet read Zzub!!! Your dog is one lucky little fellow!

We will have to watch the Disney channel next time...it is something that we really don't do given that we have only stayed on property two times. I'll add that to my 'list'. :thumbsup2
 
Oh. And another thing.

I forgot to say.

What's with that Camo collar, huh?? And. Is it PINK?????????

Matches your polo shirt too, I'll bet. :teeth:
 
ZZUB said:
He just has twouble saying weapons of mass destwuction

Probably as much trouble as George Bush had finding them. Heh. Sorry, couldn't resist -- too good of a straight line.


Oh c'mon, like you all weren't thinking the exact same thing ....
 
But we like Resort TV. The music is soothing. We also like the channel that cycles through Disney commercials. Because although we’re there spending our money, being constantly assaulted by their marketing machine, we like the commercials that are not disguised as rides, shows, merchandise and “free” transportation.

If you’ve never seen the penguin commercial here it is in short: some penguins are in their natural habitat wondering why they can’t fly. Then one of them gets an idea. He rounds up his friends and they head to Epcot to ride Soarin’. They all have fun.

Because Schpupin! has taught us to understand the inner monologue of all animals, and because they all sound like him, here is the unspoken dialogue from the commercial:

Penguin looks up at the sky and some passing birds, and says, “I wish I could fwy.”
“Hey! I know. Fowwow me.” The other penguins follow him. “Get outta my way, we gotta get to Epcot.”

Arriving in Disney World, they hop off the twam, “Move it. Dis way. Fowwo me.” They head to Soarin’ where they are met by a chipper Cast Member.
CM: “You again?”
Penguin: “That’s wight, wady! Now getta out my way. We’re gonna fwy.”

As the penguins take off on Soarin’, they all shout, “Woo Hoo! We’re fwying! We’re fwying!”

Bravo, ZZUB!!! Excellent use of trip reporting dog-loving skills!!!

I have never seen the penguin commercial, but put us down for two penguins. Make it four. We all LOVE Soarin'!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our boys rarely watch Toon Disney--or any TV-- at home, but when we are in The World, they can't get enough of it! Those toons take on a certain magic when you're watching with your ears on.
 
“We’re fwying! We’re fwying!"




Awesome chapter!
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Whew! My cat Jakie will be so relieved to find out he's not the only pet with a speech impediment! Stafford is adorable. Looking forward to more!
 
Loved loved loved this episode!!! As I read I even gave the dog a little accent with the impediment! Your writing is so good. Thanks!
 
Zzub, you are dawg-gone funny. Thanks for the latest peek.
 














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