The Battle For My Wallet III: The Smell of Free Dining (Addendum, pg 34)

[bigsis1970]

AWWWW -- you are a truely wonderful man and blessed with a fine family - thanks for sharing your trip report with us.. Michelle

 

[Eganclan]

LOVED READING YOUR POST We spent our 20th anniversary in Hawaii last year with one very big surprise OUR 8 MONTH OLD. Born on Oct. 21st. Three teenagers and a now 2 year old and we are back where we began enjoying the journey and reliving the Disney Magic through a childs eyes. We stayed at POR in July and loved it. Going in two weeks and trying out CSR.

 

[Rella Bella]

A good spot to watch Wishes.
We turned left at the Hub and when we got to Mainstreet, we headed down the left sidewalk.
... far enough away that the noise wasn’t so intense. And close enough to a store for my wife to hide her in if the noise got to be too much.

We started walking towards the train station...
...right in the middle of Mainstreet, almost right where the cross street connects. We were right in front of the castle and far enough back so the noise was less intimidating.
....(I knew that the Hub was not the best place to watch Wishes because you miss so much of the show from right there.)

Lots of people walked past us and looked at us like we were nuts. “Why would anyone just stop in the middle of the road?!” they'd ask me with their eyes.

ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOUR TRIP REPORT!
But please help me visualize this spot... are you at the end of the main street shops, in front of the flag pole in the middle of the street???

 

[J and R's mom]

Humor is such a good thing, especially when navigating a Disney vacation. Thanks for the glimpses into your trip. What fun.

 

[ziggystardust]

I really have to say I love reading your reports. I also have to say that so many things you mentioned are things that my DBF and I feel whenever we are in WDW, or even thinking about it. We must be cut from the same cloth.

(this includes exclaiming "wishes", in the wishes voice at a totally random times. I guess we'll have to start paying your daughter royalties )

 

[PetLoopers]

Awwwww....sniff, sniff.

 

[VanniGirl]

Looking forward to the next installment

 

[Angelrose]

Wonderful reports. I just love reading it.

 

[krissy2803]

Great reports!

 

[BrerMama]

So fun to read the sequels to the original! Thanks for the laughs!

 

[Credit Man]

Great report! Thanks for posting.

 

[krismom]

maybe you could give a seminar for other husbands (mine) who don't seem to "get Disney". Thank you for your wonderful, hilarious and endearing reports. More please?!

 

[MazdaUK]

maybe you could give a seminar for other husbands (mine) who don't seem to "get Disney".

Great idea! Sign mine up! It will have to be a correspondence course though

 

[budbeerlady]

Love the report, free pop for life, now that is a perk that could make one lean toward DVC! (Secretly looking into that, dont tell DH)

 

[DisneyKidds]

Where's the next installment?

Hey, if that lawyering thing doesn't work out you should consider a career in writing .

I'll tell you, you are our kind of Disney people........well, except for your penchant for food courts. I'm cheap.....ahem......frugal (ok, I'm really not, who am I kidding), but we still need our nice Disney meals. Anywho, your spot on observations about what makes Disney so special are getting me even more psyched for our upcoming annual Post-Turkey-Day Disney fix than I already am.

Thanks for the read.

 

[kjm4]

Thanks for taking the time to write your detailed trip report. It's super.

 

[kahluacream]

Shameless subscribing post! LOVING your trip report, and can't wait to read more.

 

[Wynn]

I can't wait for more as well !!!!

 

[ZZUB]

Chapter Five:

We planned for Thursday to be a “resort day.” Since we were up late the night before, we all planned to sleep in which meant my wife and daughter were going to sleep even later than usual. Sleeping in for me usually means 7:30. On this day, however, I slept until 9:30. I haven’t slept that late since my college days. Maybe I was relaxing more on this trip.

I got dressed and grabbed my DMVC mug and headed out for my morning coffee walk. You know what surprised me about my walk that day? How many people were still milling about the resort. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t crowded or anything. It’s just that at 9:45, you don’t expect to see that many people walking around PORiverside and you don’t expect to see that many people in the food court. Shouldn’t they all be in one of the parks? I walked up to the beverage bar and fixed my coffee. I waited patiently behind a woman who was fixing her coffee.

In her Dixie Landings mug.

The colors were so faded it was barely recognizable as a Disney World mug at all. But because I was staring at it, studying it, I was able to pick out the tell-tale markings of the Dixie Landings logo. This woman revealed no evidence of remorse. She made no efforts to hide her prehistoric mugs.

“She must be a member of the DMVC,” I thought to myself. She finished filling her second mug and stepped aside.

“Welcome Home,” I muttered under my breath.

I filled up my mug and took a leisurely stroll back to our room. Both my wife and daughter were still sleeping so I hopped up on the bed and ripped open some Pop Tarts. One thing I love about vacation: eating Pop Tarts. Back home, I’m a cup o’ coffee and lo-carb yogurt guy. At Disney World, I eat like I’m 13 again.

Eventually my wife woke up and then my daughter. I wonder who kept turning up the volume on the tv? Eventually, it got so loud no one could sleep. That’s a shame. They both started getting ready for our day.

While we’re waiting, a brief word about the rooms at PORiverside. Our room was showing serious signs of wear. I thought all of the rooms at PORiverside had been renovated recently. Our room looked like it had a rough life. Quite honestly, I was a little disappointed. But for the room’s relatively good location, I would have asked to be moved. Also, our room wasn’t very clean.

That’s an understatement. Our room was to clean what the turbo flush is to quiet. Speaking of the turbo flush, that was the only noise we heard at PORiverside. We never heard our neighbors. We never heard kids running around. For a while I thought we were all alone. Only occasionally did we hear someone go flush. It was the only way we knew anyone was even in our building. Or do you think Disney has some sort of flush timers in some of the rooms to, you know, make you think you’re not alone? Am I the only one who thinks everything that happens at Disney is by design? I believe that all of the quirky things we love about Disney are actually intentional. The ducks wandering around the resort are there to make you appreciate the natural, pastoral setting, thus distracting you from the Comfort Inn disguised as a Plantation Mansion sitting across the “river.” I’m also quasi-convinced that it rains so much at Disney because Disney is doing something with the weather. Think about it. It rains, and what do you do? You go indoors, and what do you do indoors? You buy more stuff! It’s so obvious!!! Haven’t you noticed the black helicopters?

Halliburton!

Sorry.

To sum up: in my estimation our room was neither well maintained, nor clean but it was quiet and in a relatively good location. Why relatively? Because a good location means I don’t have to walk 10 minutes to fetch a refill of beverage in my DMVC mug or walk just as far to wait for a bus. In any event because it was Disney, despite its myriad flaws, I found it all very acceptable. Not because I drank the Kool Aid, I haven’t, but because, as stated above, I relax so much there. In other words, there could be mold on the windows, roaches crawling across the floor and walls so thin I can hear Vettechick slurring her y’alls in the room next door and I’d still love it because it’s Disney.

Ok, maybe not the roaches.

Everyone was finally neat and pretty so we headed over to the food court for lunch. It was fairly empty. I had my usual steak and cheese and again it was very good. Because we had our DMVC mug, and were also on the meal plan, we drank pop from our mug and we picked up some bottles of water for later. After lunch, we headed out to the marina area and rented a surrey bike.

Here’s a classic example of “only at Disney.” If our local park had these, I would pronounce them silly and refuse to ride one. Moreover, I would mock anyone who willfully plunked down their money to drive a bike that looks like a car.

I also wouldn’t wear a shirt with a mouse on it in the real world, but for reasons escaping my wisdom, I regularly wear one at Disney World. When in Rome, I suppose.

The nice young CM (when did people in their 20's become young to me?) took our information and gave me some directions and wished us well. I suppose she gave us directions. I was distracted by the bell on top. I like making noise. We hopped on our silly surrey bike and headed on our way. I rang the bell for good measure.

Then my cell phone rang.

I’m not one of those people who feels compelled to always carry his cell phone with him. I’m not a doctor (well I am, but of law not medicine, so not really), I’m not a paramedic, I don’t work in national security (although I should) and I’m not 16. So whenever possible I leave my phone where it belongs.

However, for reasons you would not be interested in (trust me) I needed to have my phone with me. So as we’re leaving the marina area, my phone rings. And I answered it.

In that moment I became the very person I hate: the person on vacation who can’t be on vacation because he has to also be on the phone. Also, I was driving a silly surrey bike and talking on my cell phone. Give me a mug o’coffee and I was a rolling stereotype. Oh and we were going the wrong way. That’s right, there’s a right way and a wrong way you’re supposed to go and I was leading my family the wrong way. Apparently, my wife was trying to tell me I was going the wrong way but I couldn’t hear her over my phone conversation and incessant bell ringing. Finally, I noticed the young CM running out in front of us waving her arms. “Why is she doing that?” I wondered. Then I heard her yelling, “You’re going the wrong way!” My wife poked me in the side and said, “See, I told you you were going the wrong way.” No she didn’t either.

Much to the amusement of the other two families who were watching this unfold, I hung up my cell phone and turned our silly surrey bike around and headed the right way. I rang the bell twice. Once to say, “I’m sorry,” and once to say, “we’re going the right way now.” We headed out past the big water wheel and over towards the Alligator Bayou section. We passed some people walking. I rang the bell to say “howdy.” Then we stopped and had a nice lady take our picture on the silly surrey bike. I rang the bell to say, “thank you.”

We rode on. We’ve never stayed in the AB section and I was curious what it looked like. I was really curious about the quiet pools. Over the summer I read a trip report of a nice family who stayed in the AB section and the writer described how nice the quiet pools in AB are. Having never seen them, I was curious if they were as nice as they had been described. Ah, the power of a good trip report. So despite the clear admonition to not veer from the path, we veered towards one of the quiet pools. I rang the bell to say, “we’re again flouting the rules.” My wife looked for someplace to hide. Silly woman, you’re on a surrey bike; there’s no trunk. We rode up past a quiet pool and I rang the bell in tribute to the person who wrote the trip report which inspired me to want to see the AB quiet pools. It seemed like the right thing to do.

Then we decided to continue our journey but alas we were lost. You know what? PORiverside is a big resort with lots of walkways. We rode around a few buildings which all looked the same and I kept my eyes peeled for something that looked like a main walkway. They really ought to require you to stay on the main path.

Ahem.

I’m writing this report so you can assume we found our way out of the maze of AB buildings. We rode through the Mansions and across the bridge and back to the marina. We came wheeling in at breakneck speed because although we had only rented the silly surrey bike for 30 minutes, we were out for 45. I was steering with one hand and ringing the bell with the other to announce our arrival. Aren’t you supposed to do that?

The nice young CM who checked us out also checked us back in and only charged us for the 30 minutes. I thought that was nice.

Our fast riding, bell ringing, duck chasing, maybe ran over a frog, return trip was really more of a spectacle than I care to admit. I have been carefully reading every post on these boards that references PORiverside to see if I unwittingly star in someone else’s trip report.

Maybe I shouldn’t have rung that bell so much.

Disney made me do it.

Next time: The Unspeakable Evil Which Was Visited Upon Me in a Mainstreet Shop.

 

[tiki23]

Ding! Ding!

(translated: Loved this episode! Thanks!)