The Battle For My Wallet III: The Smell of Free Dining (Addendum, pg 34)

ZZUB said:
The Battle for My Wallet Part III: The Smell of Free Dining

Chapter One



But I’ve never relaxed that much any place else. I’ve never enjoyed any place else as much. So by my reckoning, I’m not paying for the room as much as the experience. That’s how I justify it anyway.

I feel the same way. ::yes::



ZZUB said:
Disney Mug Vacation Club?


I can see it now..."Can I rent your mug for our February trip?" How many points would that be? :rotfl2:
 
Chapter Two:

After dinner we hopped a bus for the Magic Kingdom. My daughter wanted to ride the Monorail and although PORiverside has a lot of things going for it, sadly it is not a Monorail resort. That annoyed me until I reminded myself that neither is Wilderness Lodge. Nothing lost. We got off the bus and walked towards the Monorail platform. Although that is not such a short walk, it was a pleasant evening and we were pretty giddy to be there. One thing I love and appreciate about my daughter; she’s not a brat. So many kids would have seen the Magic Kingdom and pitched a fit to go inside. I mean we were right in front of the park. It’s like putting me in front of a tv and not letting me turn it on. Too much temptation. But she just held our hands and walked with us towards the Monorail. During dinner we explained to her that we were going to ride the Monorail but we weren’t going into the Magic Kingdom tonight. We would do that tomorrow. She didn’t argue at all. That’s her mamma in her.

We only rode the Monorail as far as the Contemporary and then we got off and walked around there for a bit. We had originally planned to ride the boat from PORiverside to Downtown Disney but we had figured my daughter would enjoy riding the Monorail more. She did. She also enjoyed the shops in the Contemporary. We let her play with some of the toys and look at all the new ways Disney has invented to separate me from my hard earned money. She spied a Princess Ariel (hooch!) and Prince Eric doll set she wanted. As a rule we don’t buy her the first thing she says she wants. We never buy anything the first night either. We always wait and see if she comes back to it again and if she continues to want something then we buy it later in our trip when we’re at World of Disney and I can get a 10% Disney Visa discount.

By this point we were all starting to feel pretty tired. We’d been up since 3:30 that morning and we knew we needed to head back to the room. I calculated in my head how much time it would take to ride the monorail all the way around back to the Magic Kingdom and what the line for the bus would be like. I figured conservatively it would be an hour back to our room. Unacceptable. Also, I was really starting to worry about whether our bags had in fact “magically” appeared in our room yet. I decided to hail a cab. Great decision. We were back at our building in about 10 minutes time. Other than the real estate interest I purchased in my refillable-for-life mug, this was the best $12 I spent on this trip.

We arrived back at our room and I fumbled with the card key trying to open the door quickly. Not since our wedding night have I opened a door to a hotel room with that combination of excitement and anxiety. I flung the door wide and 1, 2, 3 bags. Wait! Where was the 4th bag?! The one that had my daughter’s sleepy doll? She’ll never go to sleep without her. What will we do? Why did we put that doll in a checked bag?! Why are we so stupid? What’s that behind the other bag? Is that the 4th bag? Why didn’t I walk over there in the first place? Idiot.

We immediately set out to unpack and get settled in. And here’s where I noticed how much I missed the Zip-a-dee-doo-dah channel. Used to be the first thing I did when we got into our room was turn that on. I love that music. We were in our room for an hour before I even turned on the tv. I watched Stacey for a bit but a bit was all I could stand. My new favorite is the Resort Information channel, the one with the weather and park hours and such. Before Gopherit slams me for being a complete dweeb, it’s not what they’re showing, it’s the music. I like the music. I also like the Your Next Disney Vacation channel. You have to admire a company that so shamelessly markets you. You’re there on vacation. You’ve planned, you’ve saved. You’re sitting in one of their hotel rooms. And they’re already teasing you that you’re leaving soon. Seriously. The channel exists solely to remind you that you're leaving soon. It should be called the You’re Leaving in Five Days; How Quickly Can You Come Back Channel? Merciless.

We used to be commandos. We used to be up very early in Disney World and we would storm the castle as it were. But ever since we went to Disneyland last December, we’ve been reformed. Which is to say, my wife has finally prevailed upon me to treat Disney as a vacation and not a mission. Having a luxury of time makes that considerably easier. When you only have four days and three nights, you can’t help but to fiercely attack the park. On the contrary, when you have seven days, and you only intend to visit 3 parks over four days you can pretty well take a slower approach. Even shower occasionally. I confess, when we were planning this trip I had a hard time not buying 5 or 6 day tickets. I mean, we had 7 days, why not go into a park each day? And because the MYW tickets get cheaper per day the more days you add, you almost HAD to add more days. But a combination of my wife’s insistence that we “relax” on this trip and my refusal to be a complete Disney moron falling for every one of their marketing ploys, guaranteed that we would only buy four day tickets. We also decided to not buy park hoppers so as to keep from rushing. Both of these decisions, although hard to make, turned out to be very wise. With few exceptions, which will be discussed at length in later installments, we did not rush at all on this trip. We actually relaxed and enjoyed the place. Wow. Who knew?!

As usual, I woke up earlier than my wife and daughter. I got dressed, grabbed my Disney Mug Vacation Club (DMVC) Mug and headed out for some coffee. I love the coffee walk at Disney. I especially enjoyed it at PORiverside. The river was calm and peaceful and the grounds there are beautiful. I also enjoyed seeing other people who were on their way to something fun and exciting. Moods change during the day at Disney World, but for almost everyone, the days start well. You know what else? I really like the smell of the main building and especially over by Boatwrights and the Food Court. Not the smell of food, but the smell of the building. It's a Disney smell. After I got my coffee, I walked through Fulton’s again to see if there was anything I should buy. My wife is right about this, I don’t say no at Disney. But my more logical mind won out over my more impulsive side. I left the store without making a purchase. I refilled my mug as is my right, and headed back to the room. My family was still sleeping so I opened the pop tarts, hopped up on the bed and watched some of Stacey’s schtick. TV must have been too loud. Something woke up my wife and then my daughter. Go figure.

We waited until that morning to tell my daughter that we were going to have lunch in the castle with Cinderella and some of her lesser princess friends. She was very excited. My daughter. Not Cinderella. As far as we know, she didn’t really have an opinion about having lunch with us. My wife unpacked my daughter’s Cinderella dress and crown and put it in the back pack so my daughter could put it on before lunch.

Soon enough everyone was ready and we headed to the Magic Kingdom at 10:30. We arrived at the bus stop and waited for a bus to arrive. We didn’t wait very long. While we waited the Wyoming family appeared. We teased them about starting late and they teased us about the same. Our bus arrived and I proceeded to fold up our stroller. Mr. Wyoming asked my wife if we had been here before. If he only knew. He then told her we could rent a stroller. Duh. We chose not to. We like our own stroller. The only inconvenience is having to fold it up for the bus. I don’t like them anymore. Is this what it feels like to be on the other side of me when I’m dispensing my Disney knowledge?

We got on the almost empty bus and sat across from the most obnoxious, pseudo important, not at all cool, clearly unhappy couple. She was slathering herself with sun screen which was wise of her. He was already on his cell phone. I have no problem with people needing to check in with the person watching their cat, but after 2 minutes, this conversation crossed over from need to know information to simply mindless, repetitive, meaningless conversation. You know how I know? Because he repeated himself several times. His clearly unhappy wife decided to open her cell phone and make a call of her own. Some vacation. If this was 25 years ago and they were both reading newspapers instead of talking on cell phones they could have been my parents. She was explaining to someone about how good their dinner the night before was. The lobster bisque was very good. So was the fish. He was fixated on why the cat bit the cat sitter. The cat sitter, it seems, is generally pretty rough with the cat. This had several people wondering why these morons left their cat with this guy in the first place. If they care so much about the cat to call to find out how it’s doing, shouldn’t they have cared enough to not leave it with someone who would harass it?! Again he was talking about the biting and the harassing. And again. She was now talking about the heat. He shifted to a discussion about how they hated the Caribbean Beach and demanded to move to PORiverside. It was where they had spent their honeymoon and they really liked the PORiverside. I wondered why they didn’t just book here in the first place. Then I wondered why I was wondering about that. Again with the cat biting the sitter. By this point I was thinking about “accidently” farting really loud. If only I’d had one stored up for the occasion. I must learn to plan ahead.

We finally arrived at the MK and were able to separate from the couple of death pretty quickly. We made our way through “security,” and into the MK. Without the trees in front of the castle it looks huge. I was surprised by how big it looks. And garish. Memo to the Imagineers: enough gold. They started well enough but it looks like they lost control. It reminded me of my grandmother’s Christmas decorations. She always decorated the crap out of her house. Even the toilet paper was Christmassy. It long ago passed tasteful and moved into tacky. The castle had the same overdone look to me. I’m still confused by the huge “mirror.” It’s Cinderella’s castle; not Snow White’s.

Speaking of Cinderella, Cinderellabration was going on when we reached the hub. It was about 93 degrees out and not a hint of shade. It was hot. It was humid. It was Disney in summer. So why were there throngs of people standing there watching that horrid show? You cannot believe the waves of heat rollling off that cement stage. It was like it was radiating heat. And the music . . . does it have to be so loud?! Fortunately, my daughter showed no interest in Cinderhellebration and we escaped by making a hard left and shot across the bridge into Liberty Square. From there we headed to It’s a Small World. I didn’t realize how bad this ride was before the rehab until I saw what it looks like now. It looks great. The song still sends me to a dark place but we only had to ride it twice so with enough medication the doctor tells me I can manage the pain. Next we walked onto Peter Pan. No crowds. Not yet.

Then it was time for lunch in the Castle. My daughter put on her ball gown and we headed over there. There was a crowd at the check in counter so I stood waiting my turn. There were two CMs checking in people. I thought I was in the left hand line but when the person in front of me moved, a snarky little blonde jumped in front of me. “Excuse me,” I said politely. “I think I’m next.” “Oh, I thought it was just one line feeding both computers,” she said unapologetically. She didn’t move. Hey, I’m at Disney, I can wait. If this had been Walmart . . . .

So I wait my turn again. The person in the right hand line leaves and I am about to move to that computer when another couple jumps in front of me. Foiled again! I again patiently wait and let them go first. I’m also very worried that something has happened with our reservation and we won’t get in. I’m still scarred from my experience at Goofy’s Kitchen last December. And if it’s cancelled, well everyone knows you can’t just get seated. Everyone that is except for the two people who cut in front of me. That’s right, neither the snarky blonde nor the other couple had reservations for CRT and both cut me in line and both thought they could get tables. This is an excellent example of how you reap what you sow. First the blonde found out she needed a reservation. The CM who talked to her was polite but firm. The blonde looked sheepish. I actually felt bad for her. The other couple didn’t fare so well. The CM on that computer dismissed them like so much rubbish. “You don’t have a reservation?” he shouted. When they tried to find out if they could make one he said, “Yeah, for 90 days from now. We’re sold out. We’ve been sold out. You can’t just walk up here.” Ouch. He all but announced they were the weakest link. So you can imagine how scared I was to give him my name.

I regularly appear before surly judges who aren’t always well disposed towards the argument I’m presenting. They don’t scare me. This guy, this gatekeeper to the hardest reservation at Disney World had me in a sweat. Turns out there was nothing to worry about. Reservation was fine. He was also very pleasant to me. Guess he just doesn’t like walk ups.

We were directed inside and we walked up the staircase. Many years ago, my wife (who was then my girlfriend) and I ate here for dinner. We haven’t been back since. I had forgotten how cool it was inside. My daughter was very excited. We were shown to our table and the guy who took our drink order was "in character" and we laughed everytime he said Sprrrrrrrrrite. I also like being called "m'lord." I could get used to that.

We were given an appetizer sampler and my daughter was given a kids’ version. Soon enough they announced the entrance of the princesses. Since when is Wendy a princess? Seriously. She was in her nightgown. I’ve got nothing against Wendy, but she’s hardly a princess. Frankly, I think they’re stretching it with Belle, but I like her so I’m willing to let that slide. My wife was fixated on this Wendy thing. I got distracted by my food and lost interest. The major domo was very good.

We’ve done a lot of character meals but I think we enjoyed this one the most. I liked having the food brought to us and it was less frenetic than at say Chef Mickey’s or Crystal Palace. The princesses and Wendy each spent a good amount of time with my daughter and we got some great pictures. It didn't feel quite so rushed. There was a family seated behind us who were celebrating their daughter’s birthday. The server brought out a cake and they sang happy birthday. We were eating our very delicious cobbler dessert when the wife of the family behind us offered my wife some cake.

My wife, “No thank you.”
Me, “What?!”
My wife, “They offered us some of their cake and I told them no thank you.”
Me, “You did what, Woman?!”
Wife from other table, “Would you like some cake?”
Husband from other table, “We’re never going to eat all of this.”
Me, “Yeah, I’ll take some of that. I love cake.” Turning to my wife, “Why would you say no to cake?! NEVER say ‘no’ to cake!”

The cake was GOOD. Then my wife and the other wife started talking. They’re from Pennsylvania. We live in the northwest but we used to live in the south. “How did you end up there?” I gave them the short version. They heard it was very pretty out here. We end up talking for a bit and they seemed really nice. They said they were thinking about visiting here sometime. I gave the guy my card (I’m a lawyer, it’s a reflex) and told him to email me if they ever decide to come and I would hook them up with good deals on places to stay and such. And then we left and said goodbye to our new Disney friends.

Do you know what I liked best about our lunch at CRT? It was free!!! I've never had so much fun signing the receipt. I mean, I enjoyed it the night before at the PORiverside foodcourt, but this was $76 worth of free lunch. Thinking about it again makes me all happy inside.

We made a bathroom stop and then explored that odd gift shop in the castle. We came out and were loading up our stroller when some woman was having a fit because she was trying to get a picture of the mosaic and people kept walking by. And that’s the other end of the spectrum. At Disney you can meet really nice folks like the Wyoming people or the Pennsylvania people. And then you can meet psychotic photogs and the rude people who won’t let them get their picture.

By the way, I’m starting a new board for DMVC members. It will be a place where we can share trip reports, rent our points to non-DMVC members and speculate about whether we will soon be able to use our DMVC mugs at the Contemporary. If someone can design an avatar for us, that would be great.

Next time: My family’s effort to singlehandedly save the Carousel of Progress.
 

Your reports are great! The whole cat-cell phone thing was priceless!
 
Sadly, Disney has yet to filter "couples from hell" out of the system because they do have one redeeming feature - their wallets!

She was in her nightgown. I’ve got nothing against Wendy, but she’s hardly a princess.

And I don't know about "your" Wendy, but the one we saw was a little ovdeveloped for a 12-year old :rotfl:

Roll on next installement! :badpc: faster faster!!!
 
Enjoying your reports ~ Can't wait to read more.
 
/
Great report! My kids kept coming in the room to see why mommy was cracking up at the comp.
 
I am absolutely loving your report - and am off on a hunt for your previous reports to keep me going until the next episode :rotfl:
 
"By the way, I’m starting a new board for DMVC members. It will be a place where we can share trip reports, rent our points to non-DMVC members and speculate about whether we will soon be able to use our DMVC mugs at the Contemporary. If someone can design an avatar for us, that would be great."


:rotfl2: :rotfl2: :rotfl2: :rotfl2: :rotfl2:

You are truly hilarious! You missed your calling in life...you should have been a comedian. As a fellow barrister, I can say that! :flower:

Can't wait for the next installment!
 
Oh, the mugs, whether the luggage would be "magically" appearing, the castle redo - all had me laughing so hard that tears were squirting out of the sides of my eyes. :rotfl:

Do you know how hard it is to squelch laughter when your entire family is sleeping?

Keep them coming - I can't wait to read more!!!
 
DMVC members here it is, your new DMVC mug with "Free refills for life!"


f1d87fea.jpg
 
Shelby5514:

That is amazing! You work fast and created a high quality product. You must be employed by Disney. Thank you for creating that. Now if I can figure out how to make it my permanent avatar, you will see it under my name real soon.

Zzub
 
Hilarious!! I never thought I would laugh so hard at the idea of a grown man farting purposefully, as that is something I am constantly admonishing DH about!

More, please!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
I have a vast number of DMVC mugs, can't wait to rent them out! Of course, it will cost ya more points for the large size, and renting them for a Friday is more as well.

Loving the report! Can't wait for the rest!
 
I just LOVE your reports. I spent yesterday and this morning reading them. You are so funny and I can't wait for more.
 
OH my !! this is a great trip report - I have a few mugs to rent as well.. haa haa .. Michelle
 
Hey, are we gonna have to call you up at your office to get you to come finish your trip report or what!
 

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