Thanksgiving Dinner What to Do?

[3boymthr]

So, usually every year we go to my DM and DFs house for dinner and to my DAunt's house for desert. Don't go to MIL and SFILs house because they live 400 miles away (8hr drive) and DH only gets the day off and usually he's on call and has to go out to work on Thanksgiving. I don't really mind the on-call thing as whoever takes call for Thanksgiving gets Christmas off. The guy who usually works Christmas would rather have Thanksgiving off as he's Jewish and Christmas isn't really a big holiday for his family. (Really it's a win win situation for all)

Dinner at my parents house is just my parents, the 5 of us, my DB, every so often my SIL, and sometimes my other DAunt and her BF.

DM & DF have gutted their house won't be done in time for Thanksgiving and this year DB and SIL bought their first house and it's a huge one - 4,000 SF. and SIL wants to have Thanksgiving Dinner at her house with all the family.

So we've been invited to DB house for dinner.

I'm fine with that. It will be the organic earthy crunchy utterly healthy meal that is the anti-thesis of the traditional meal, I can live with that. I just have to make sure to insist I contribute by bringing a dish so there's something my kids will eat.

Here's my dilemma. DH is on call again for Thanksgiving this year. DB lives 2.5 hours away in central NH. So DH being on call means that he can't go to my DB for Thanksgiving dinner. He doesn't want to switch as he'd have to work Christmas. His co worker also doesn't want to switch either. Which means we'd either have to go without him or stay home. I wanted to stay home and have dinner here for everyone. DH says no - go to your DB house; there's not enough room for every one here and SIL wants to show off her new kitchen so let her; just bring me home left overs. But I don't want to spend dinner without DH although there's every chance he won't be home for dinner anyway (every other year he's gone all day working).

WWYD??? Cook or go to DB & SIL?

ETA - I admit it I'm not thrilled with the prospect of the meal being the uber healthy non traditional one. But if DH could go it wouldn't factor into my decision.

 

[EthansMom]

I'd stay home and make dinner for just my immediate family.

 

[MomofKatie]

I'd stay home and make dinner for just my immediate family.

Yup- I'd just do a small Thanksgiving with the immediate family.

 

[golfgal]

Since you won't really have turkey etc. on Thursday, go to DB's and make a turkey and all the goodies at home on Saturday with your DH and kids.

 

[C.Ann]

And I will third that.. Stay home and make dinner for your own family..

I know this might sound awful, but I would not enjoy a Thanksgiving dinner that was all stuff that I didn't like.. It comes around once a year - and I want it to be the "traditional" meal that I enjoy so much..

 

[DISNEY1975]

I understand the healthy meal thing. My DSis does the same thing. Once I offered to give her the turkey, but she said no thanks, as she didnt know where it was raised and what diet habits it had when it was alive. She likes her turkeys to be stress free, listening to classical music all day. I told her I could listen to classical music all day too, but if someone had me over a tree stump ready to cut my head off, all the classical music in the world would not take the stress away.

Anyway...

We dont really eat at my sisters because its just not good to us..we like stuffing without pinenuts, cranberries and wheat germ. We are a mashed potato family..not her etc... So what we do it order a small Thanksgiving meal from a local farm, or sometimes Roche Bros. We leave her house around 4:00ish, come home and eat a real dinner! And we get left overs too!!

I would go to your brothers w/o hubby, but dont spend the entire day there. Ask if he can have the meal at noon or so, so you can boogy out of there by 3:00 and be home at night for hubby.

You'll have Christmas together, dont sweat Thanksgiving.

 

[3boymthr]

I'll be cooking a turkey anyway as DH will be getting one from work. And she will have turkey, but will be a free range, organically raised ultra lean turkey with the skin removed (yeah, read dry and tough). DM said last time they had turkey it was "okay but a little different tasting" (probably the way it's really supposed to taste ); it was the side dishes that weren't that "traditional". No stuffing. No gravy. Whole grain rolls. She grows and cans all her own veggies and they are all canned with non-traditional spices (beans with carroway seeds and dill). Those that are fresh will be served sans sauces, etc. The applesauce will be EXCELLENT (she gave us a case for christmas last year and we ate it all).

My biggest dilemma is not the food - it's the kids not spending the holidays with their grandparents. DM and DF live down the street so the kids are very accustomed to having dinner with them on the holidays. They've never not had a meal with family. I suppose if I do dinner then I can take them to my DAunts for desert still and they'll get to spend time with relatives that way. We can't go to the Aunt's for dinner as their immediate family fills the house and there just isn't room for 5 extra. By dessert my cousin has left to visit his wife's family so there's room.

 

[clh2]

OK - I am going to say this with experience: uber-healthy Thanksgiving dinners just suck. There- I got it off my chest.

My mom started doing this, now we don't let her cook T-Day dinners. The menu was:

Turkey.
Sometimes stuffing - not cooked in the bird (too much fat in the stuffing then)
Etiher rice of baked potatoes - no gravy
cranberries sweetened wtih beets (i.e. no sugar)

boring salad - with fat free dressings
plain veggies - no salt
Bread - no butter..

If that wasn't bad enough - she made a pumpkin souffle for dessert - with no crust, (again - too much fat) and a little bit of grape nuts sprinkled over the top for a little texture.

Let's face it - this still brings back bad memories.

To the OP - If you do get the opportunity to have the uber-healthy dinner - make sure you cook your own for your family!

 

[EthansMom]

I'll be cooking a turkey anyway as DH will be getting one from work. And she will have turkey, but will be a free range, organically raised ultra lean turkey with the skin removed (yeah, read dry and tough). DM said last time they had turkey it was "okay but a little different tasting" (probably the way it's really supposed to taste ); it was the side dishes that weren't that "traditional". No stuffing. No gravy. Whole grain rolls. She grows and cans all her own veggies and they are all canned with non-traditional spices (beans with carroway seeds and dill). Those that are fresh will be served sans sauces, etc. The applesauce will be EXCELLENT (she gave us a case for christmas last year and we ate it all).

My biggest dilemma is not the food - it's the kids not spending the holidays with their grandparents. DM and DF live down the street so the kids are very accustomed to having dinner with them on the holidays. They've never not had a meal with family. I suppose if I do dinner then I can take them to my DAunts for desert still and they'll get to spend time with relatives that way. We can't go to the Aunt's for dinner as their immediate family fills the house and there just isn't room for 5 extra. By dessert my cousin has left to visit his wife's family so there's room.

Your kids are old enough that you could give them the choice of staying home for Thanksgiving or going to DB's. You have a family of 5. Put out the two choices and let everyone have a vote.

 

[kydisneyfans]

I would find a Cracker Barrel or similar restaurant and have a nice immediate family dinner. We have done that for several years as I always work early AM hours the day after Thanksgiving and I don't feel like making 4-300 mile trips in a 4 day period.

 

[aprilgail2]

I would just make reservations at a really nice place and have dinner with just the family!

 

[S. C.]

Since you won't really have turkey etc. on Thursday, go to DB's and make a turkey and all the goodies at home on Saturday with your DH and kids.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

I'd stay home and have dinner with the immediate family, and dessert at the aunt's.

My MIL tried pulling the "change Thanksgiving dinner" thing years ago, when my kids were little. She decided that "everyone is tired of turkey" and that we were going to have a ham. How could everyone be tired of turkey...it was a once a year thing. I told DH "Really? Then we're staying home...we'll stop by their house after dinner." I mean...my kids were in pre-school/early elementary school...it's all about the turkey and traditions! And I like traditions. My in-laws aren't into traditions. Oh...but they changed their minds and made a turkey.

 

[trip]

Since you won't really have turkey etc. on Thursday, go to DB's and make a turkey and all the goodies at home on Saturday with your DH and kids.

Your DB/SIL want to host dinner for the family in their new home. Go and enjoy the family if not the dinner. It sounds like your husband won't mind - he may be working anyway.

Then have dinner the way you want it another day!!

 

[worm761]

Personally, I would stay home and make a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. I love Thanksgiving and look forward to it. My opinion is that if SIL wants to make a nontraditional dinner then she has to accept that some people will not want it. They want the traditional meal and will not come. It is her choice to change the menu but if it isn't what you want (or worse your kids will eat) then it won't be the fun holiday.

 

[Va-bear]

Since you won't really have turkey etc. on Thursday, go to DB's and make a turkey and all the goodies at home on Saturday with your DH and kids.

Go, be nice, see the sisters house, ooh and awww, and be sociable... then do it all up right on the weekend! We've done this for decades (DH works every t-day AND xmas...) - works great!

Good lck either way.

 

[Cinerbelle]

Personally I would go to DB's and then make a huge turkey dinner on Saturday with all the yummy fattening food we love. Just because it isn't Thursday won't make it less special.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

I agree with all the posters who say go to DB and DSIL and make a great meal for DH and kids over the weekend.

 

[AlexWyattMommy]

I would find a Cracker Barrel or similar restaurant and have a nice immediate family dinner. We have done that for several years as I always work early AM hours the day after Thanksgiving and I don't feel like making 4-300 mile trips in a 4 day period.

Hey we've been doing the Cracker Barrel thing for about 8 years now.
My MIL and FIL don't like turkey enough for left overs and lets face it, not everyone enjoys the left overs. We like the traditional foods, for one day only.

And have you had their praline pumpkin pie? It's to faint for.

So we get together, which is what it is all about, have traditional food and nobody has to eat the left overs, or clean up.

 

[jen0610]

I see both side to your issue, which is being with DH or not on Thanksgiving day. I am leaning more towards the go and enjoy time with your family, minus DH, he wants you and the kids to go and have a nice time. I do also like the idea of letting your DB know that you need to be back home by a certain time, so that the meal is earlier in the day. We have friends who don't eat until 5 o'clock and they don't cut into the pie until 8 o'clock. It makes for a very long day and not anything that I would want to be a part of.

I also agree that you, DH and the kids can do your own special dinner on Saturday....maybe even have your mom and dad and the aunts over for the traditional dinner. That way you get to celebrate twice.