Thank you for Pete

Tonyz

How do ya do? Pretty good, sure as you're born!
Joined
May 17, 2014
Pete mentioned the connection between coping skills and suicide. I was wondering if 'you' know someone who has a lack of coping skills what can they work on to improve them without therapy in order to have stronger mental health and alleviate mental illnesses.
Hmm... well it's tough only because of the "without therapy" caveat. If you have a complete lack of coping skills to handle your issues, I highly recommend finding someone to talk to. A good therapist will help the individual locate the strengths that they already have and help polish those skills up, encourage more frequent use, and point out when and how they're working. Then after creating a baseline of strengths, you can then go deeper - learning new skills, insights, etc.

But if you're against therapy for some reason, I recommend checking out some mindfulness skills for things like anxiety. But things more intense like depression or suicidal ideations are much tougher to work through on your own, without that first thrust of support.

A suggestion I have (this will obviously be the quick and dirty version) to try is to change your thinking to instead focus on the positive aspects of your life instead of the negatives - take note of every little good thing that happens in your day. The more you focus on all the little good aspects, the more you'll realize that there's more good out there than you thought there was, and help shift your mindset from a baseline of negative to more positive.

Feel free to PM me if ya want to continue this!
 

disneyworldsk

DIS Veteran
Joined
Jul 10, 2014
Hmm... well it's tough only because of the "without therapy" caveat. If you have a complete lack of coping skills to handle your issues, I highly recommend finding someone to talk to. A good therapist will help the individual locate the strengths that they already have and help polish those skills up, encourage more frequent use, and point out when and how they're working. Then after creating a baseline of strengths, you can then go deeper - learning new skills, insights, etc.

But if you're against therapy for some reason, I recommend checking out some mindfulness skills for things like anxiety. But things more intense like depression or suicidal ideations are much tougher to work through on your own, without that first thrust of support.

A suggestion I have (this will obviously be the quick and dirty version) to try is to change your thinking to instead focus on the positive aspects of your life instead of the negatives - take note of every little good thing that happens in your day. The more you focus on all the little good aspects, the more you'll realize that there's more good out there than you thought there was, and help shift your mindset from a baseline of negative to more positive.

Feel free to PM me if ya want to continue this!
this is good advice. I have a close family member who lacks coping skills and I think Pete's talk resonated with me as a good prevention tool for helping this person work on those skills before anything, being proactive. And while this person is on a good point in life at the moment, but lacks the coping skills, maybe now is a great time to brush up on them so when things in life hit the fan, and they will, she can cope properly and appropriately and not be in this terrible situation.
 

SorcererHeidi

Sorcerer please cast forever love spell for me
Joined
Jul 16, 2007
this is good advice. I have a close family member who lacks coping skills and I think Pete's talk resonated with me as a good prevention tool for helping this person work on those skills before anything, being proactive. And while this person is on a good point in life at the moment, but lacks the coping skills, maybe now is a great time to brush up on them so when things in life hit the fan, and they will, she can cope properly and appropriately and not be in this terrible situation.
I can SO empathize with what you're talking about, @disneyworldsk! And cheers to you for being understanding and kind hearted enough to want to help - this person is lucky to have you (and you should probably be one of the "blessings" they count, and focus on!) Hugs, and good luck!
 
  • Tonyz

    How do ya do? Pretty good, sure as you're born!
    Joined
    May 17, 2014
    this is good advice. I have a close family member who lacks coping skills and I think Pete's talk resonated with me as a good prevention tool for helping this person work on those skills before anything, being proactive. And while this person is on a good point in life at the moment, but lacks the coping skills, maybe now is a great time to brush up on them so when things in life hit the fan, and they will, she can cope properly and appropriately and not be in this terrible situation.
    Yeah exactly - when things are going great in life is the best time to brush up on these things.

    I like to have my clients document all their successes/insights/skills - big or small - in some way (journals, notes on phone, etc) so that when they hit a bump in their progress they can look back on all these positives examples of what they've accomplished and how far they've come. It's a nice way to remind them that a bump does not negate their history of positive progression.
     

    A2Cbus

    Earning My Ears
    Joined
    Dec 7, 2018
    I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before but I’m a mental health therapist so I always appreciate Pete speaking on this issue. I was fortunate enough to thank him for this in person a year or so ago. Pete is a gem; one in a million.
    As a mental health therapist do you have any advice on finding the right professional?

    I’ve recently have gone down this path with not much luck.

    I’ve started with calling my primary care office for a referrals. When I looked up the office it had awful reviews, not a single positive one (I realize it’s online reviews and it’s easier to complain than compliment but there wasn’t one positive review).

    Then I did some online research, I found other professionals in my area that I thought matched my needs. I called 4 or 5 but only one returned my call. By the time I was contacted I was feeling a better about my situation and never called back.

    Now I’m feeling a little down again and want to revisit seeing a professional, but the process feels overwhelming. There are many different types of mental help professionals out there and I’m not sure of the best way to go about this.

    Thank you for in advance, any advice would would be appreciated.
     

    Donald Schmuck

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Mar 17, 2019
    As a mental health therapist do you have any advice on finding the right professional?

    I’ve recently have gone down this path with not much luck.

    I’ve started with calling my primary care office for a referrals. When I looked up the office it had awful reviews, not a single positive one (I realize it’s online reviews and it’s easier to complain than compliment but there wasn’t one positive review).

    Then I did some online research, I found other professionals in my area that I thought matched my needs. I called 4 or 5 but only one returned my call. By the time I was contacted I was feeling a better about my situation and never called back.

    Now I’m feeling a little down again and want to revisit seeing a professional, but the process feels overwhelming. There are many different types of mental help professionals out there and I’m not sure of the best way to go about this.

    Thank you for in advance, any advice would would be appreciated.
    One of my family members has had this problem, finding the right professional. She started using that app "Talkspace" and she said that it helped her a lot while waiting to get an appointment, because the waiting period to get an appointment can be quite long. Hope this helps!
     

    A2Cbus

    Earning My Ears
    Joined
    Dec 7, 2018
    One of my family members has had this problem, finding the right professional. She started using that app "Talkspace" and she said that it helped her a lot while waiting to get an appointment, because the waiting period to get an appointment can be quite long. Hope this helps!

    Thank you for the suggestion, I had no idea something like this exists.
     
  • Tonyz

    How do ya do? Pretty good, sure as you're born!
    Joined
    May 17, 2014
    As a mental health therapist do you have any advice on finding the right professional?

    I’ve recently have gone down this path with not much luck.

    I’ve started with calling my primary care office for a referrals. When I looked up the office it had awful reviews, not a single positive one (I realize it’s online reviews and it’s easier to complain than compliment but there wasn’t one positive review).

    Then I did some online research, I found other professionals in my area that I thought matched my needs. I called 4 or 5 but only one returned my call. By the time I was contacted I was feeling a better about my situation and never called back.

    Now I’m feeling a little down again and want to revisit seeing a professional, but the process feels overwhelming. There are many different types of mental help professionals out there and I’m not sure of the best way to go about this.

    Thank you for in advance, any advice would would be appreciated.
    I would first start with re-contacting the one professional who did return your call. Try Psychology Today.com, you can plug in your zip code, some concerns you have, and check out the different therapist. Ask friends or family who have gone to therapy for recommendations. Try checking out some mental health wellness meetings or conventions around town to meet with different therapists.

    But you're right, it can be tough finding the right therapist. But don't settle, trust your gut. Make sure your potential therapist actually cares about you and your issues, and will work at your speed.
     

    SorcererHeidi

    Sorcerer please cast forever love spell for me
    Joined
    Jul 16, 2007
    As a mental health therapist do you have any advice on finding the right professional?

    I’ve recently have gone down this path with not much luck.

    I’ve started with calling my primary care office for a referrals. When I looked up the office it had awful reviews, not a single positive one (I realize it’s online reviews and it’s easier to complain than compliment but there wasn’t one positive review).

    Then I did some online research, I found other professionals in my area that I thought matched my needs. I called 4 or 5 but only one returned my call. By the time I was contacted I was feeling a better about my situation and never called back.

    Now I’m feeling a little down again and want to revisit seeing a professional, but the process feels overwhelming. There are many different types of mental help professionals out there and I’m not sure of the best way to go about this.

    Thank you for in advance, any advice would would be appreciated.
    As someone who will be restarting a journey with a new therapist this coming week, I can identify, and wish you all the luck int he world. I also had to do quite a bit of research to find someone, and I am HOPING we turn out to be a good fit - SO important! :hug:
     
    Last edited:

    Tonyz

    How do ya do? Pretty good, sure as you're born!
    Joined
    May 17, 2014
    As someone who will be restarting a journey with a new therapist this coming week, I can identify, and wish you all the luck int he world. I also had to do quite a bit of research to find someone, and I am HOPING we turn out to be a good fit - SO important! :hug:
    Good for you, Heidi. I hope it turns out great!
     

    DrunkJam

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jul 1, 2016
    For anyone in the UK wondering how to access talking therapies...

    1) Approach your GP - There is no charge for therapy via GP, there may be waiting lists, and the choice of type of therapy may be limited to those approved by NICE (most often CBT)
    2) Approach an organisation such as MIND who also offer free counselling, (although there may, again, be a wait) they may also have groups and other support mechanisms
    3) If you want to access private therapy, search the BACP database (British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists) this will allow you to search registered and accredited practitioners, you can search by area, and by specialism (looking at what areas a specific therapist has expertise in) and by type of therapy offered. Most therapists found here will offer a free trial session which will allow you to get a feel for them, and their methods and set up.

    Finding a therapist who is a good fit for you may take a few tries (just because people are not all the same, and finding the person you can work with is about both of you, not a failing, just a difference, this is trusting a stranger with your inner life, you wouldn't do that with just anyone) Also, different types of therapy work better for different people, because of the nature of how people best share and work.
     

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