Tell Me It Gets Better Eventually....Please

[Pea-n-Me]

I remember well how you're feeling right now. And yes, it will get better. My twins will be 9 in the fall. I'm loving this age but keep getting the warning from people at work that we're coming up to more difficult years. I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts, though. Hang in there!

 

[Annie68]

When they are teenagers, you will look back on this and think how easy it was.

How right you are ! My DD has been driving me crazy lately, telling me DS gets to do "everything" and she did nothing at his age. I remind her about all the sleepovers, Girl Scout camping trips, dance lessons, camps, etc. DS doesn't do 1/2 of what she did at his age!

 

[southernbella]

Add me to the margarita club! My DD's are 5 & 22 months. I love the little buggers, but their fighting & whining is going to turn me gray quick!

Our newest behavior is the oldest will get herself so worked up she sometimes makes herself throw up. When does she do this? When I ask her to play with her sister! Play, not clean up, not pull weeds, not mop the floor, just play. I've tried to explain that she's got to help me or we are going to be eating off dirty plates in a room that looks like a pigsty, but she doesn't seem to mind.

And her mouth, don't get me started.

My MIL has a great saying about the toddler years, "The days are long, but the years are short."

Hopefully, we are getting a kiddie pool this week. That is going to help so much. I love how the water wears them out!

to all the Mommys who are going through the "fun" years (and all of the ones that made it through safely!).

Sbella

 

[AC7179]

It will get better..............but geez I know it is rough right now!

My 2 year old has been having some interesting days as of late herself!

 

[Annie68]

My MIL has a great saying about the toddler years, "The days are long, but the years are short."

I love that! So true.

 

[Kteacher]

Becka- hang in there!! Yes it does get better. It may sound trite, but enjoy your kids now ( they're both beautiful BTW ) , while they're still home- even the " rough " times. We're getting our first taste of an empty nest. Our kids are 14, 16, and 19- the younger 2 are both away at camp for 2 weeks, and the oldest is either working or out with friends. I still can't believe my kids are this old! So hang in there toots, drink your margaritas- my mom had 7 kids, all one year apart and I still remember her " wine-in-a-box " that she kept in the fridge

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Add me to the margarita club! My DD's are 5 & 22 months. I love the My MIL has a great saying about the toddler years, "The days are long, but the years are short."

That's a great saying--love it! And it not just about the toddler years. For teens a person might have to substitute nights. Tag Fairy, when you're done giving me embarrassing tags, I'd love that one!

 

[noodleknitter]

It does get better, IMO. I loved my baies, but I think there is a lot to be said for the ability to communicate. I know this doesn't make this minute any better, but it isn't always this hard.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Can you make a "safe spot" for your ds to play with his stuff without little sis?
That is what I had to do. My dd's are 5 years apart and I had to keep older dd's stuff seperated because it was not safe for younger dd.

Now as far as getting easier....yea...easier...uh-huh.
You just get better at it.

My dd's are now 9 & 15. I won't tell you I was yelling at them last night at 1am and my 15yodd got grounded from her computer for mouthing off.
(We won't even go into the "it is summer"...blah...blah..blah "I should be able to stay up"... )

 

[becka]

Well I woke up this morning really hoping for my outlook to have changed some but nope things still seem about the same. This morning while getting ready DS kicked his sister in the face because she might have touched him. He then proceeded to tell me that I should put her back in my tummy because he didn't want her anymore.

DD then decides that this morning was the best time for one of those really nasty diapers (all the moms know what I am talking about). DH is walking around complaining that his allergies are driving him crazy and on top of all of that (TMI warning...) it is also that particular time of the month.

I have thought about taking DS out of lunch later today. I know he needs some more one on one time but if often seems that the more I try to give him that one on one time the more his misbehaves...how exactly does that work?

Thanks for all of the support and your stories. I know it is normal and I know the time will (and is) fly by but boy I sure do feel defeated lately. Times like this do make me realize how lucky I am to have even gotten here because I am really suprised my own Mom didn't kill me as a toddler/preschooler.

 

[mickeyboat]

I am so glad for this thread. Sometimes the DIS makes me feel like the worst parent with the worst children in the world. It's nice to know there are others who have bad times with their kids.

My girls are 5 and 6 and we have ups and downs just like the rest of you. We went to MN a couple of weeks ago, and even after enormous airport delays and late nights, they were the most perfect, fun little girls you could ever imagine. The next week my mother came to visit from NC, and they turned into the devils' spawns. I have no idea what got into them, but I wasn't sure they would live to see 6 and 7.

I have to tell you I am actually happy to be going back to work today after yesterday. We took them to a minor league baseball game, bought all the junk food they could eat, let them play in the kids' area, bought souveniers, and still had to leave before the end of the game because they were acting so badly. (In their defense, they aren't baseball fans, and it was really hot).

Here are a couple of things that we try to do when things start getting bad:

Outdoor time is really important - they need to get out and expend some of that energy - even when it is hot. We take them to the pool, the park, set up the sprinkler, let them go the the neighbors' houses - anything to get them outdoors.

One of the hardest things for me to deal with is their fighting, so separating them every once in a while helps me to realize why I actually like them as individuals. Even sending one to Home Depot for 30 minutes with DH makes a big difference.

Plan for a date night with your DH. We had FIL babysit last night and went out to dinner. We were gone less than an hour, but felt a lot better getting some alone time.

Make sure the kids are getting plenty of rest and fluids (as mentioned above). It makes a big difference in their behavior the next day. I also find that they need a snack around 5PM - even though it is close to dinner time, a little, healthy snack can make all the difference while you are trying to cook dinner.

Let them make a mess every once in a while. The other day I sent them outside with their plastic tea set and told them they could turn on the garden hose and have a tea party. They got water everywhere, but I didn't care. They had fun for a while.

One more thing - I can't wait for school to start again. My kids thrive on routine, and they really miss it during the summer. They behave so much better once school starts again.

Good luck, becka.

Denae

 

[noodleknitter]

it is also that particular time of the month.

I know he needs some more one on one time but if often seems that the more I try to give him that one on one time the more his misbehaves...how exactly does that work?

Maybe, "that time of the month" is what is contributing to the horror? Perhaps you need lunch out without your little man? And then some time with him? Some nice babysitter time might be in order?

The other thing, is that everytime you attempt to change a behavior it gets worse for a bit, as the child (or adult) tests the waters.

I found that a change of scenery sometimes helped too. I knwo it is hard with a little one, but a trip out of the house for an ice-cream, or some park or pool fun might break the pattern long enough for you to remember what you actually like about them.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Well I woke up this morning really hoping for my outlook to have changed some but nope things still seem about the same. This morning while getting ready DS kicked his sister in the face because she might have touched him. He then proceeded to tell me that I should put her back in my tummy because he didn't want her anymore.

DD then decides that this morning was the best time for one of those really nasty diapers (all the moms know what I am talking about). DH is walking around complaining that his allergies are driving him crazy and on top of all of that (TMI warning...) it is also that particular time of the month.

I have thought about taking DS out of lunch later today. I know he needs some more one on one time but if often seems that the more I try to give him that one on one time the more his misbehaves...how exactly does that work?

Thanks for all of the support and your stories. I know it is normal and I know the time will (and is) fly by but boy I sure do feel defeated lately. Times like this do make me realize how lucky I am to have even gotten here because I am really surprised my own Mom didn't kill me as a toddler/preschooler.

I think that bringing your son out alone is a great idea. Sometimes when they act up the most is when they need our loving arms around them the most.

I have a couple of thoughts, both involving my oldest child, now an 18yo college sophomore-one a long time ago and one recent. When she was in third grade at the end of the year as a part of a writers workshop that the parents were invited to attend, the kids wrote about a special time with a parent. My DD wrote about the time that we went shopping for her new eyeglasses and after picking them out, I brought her out for dinner, just the two of us, without her younger brothers. It had happened at the beginning of that year and she wrote about why that meant so much to her. Me being the softy that I am was so touched--I had no idea. To me it was a nice meal with my daughter, but to her it was so much more.

This DD has spent so many of her years complaining about the fact that she wasn't an only child. Imagine my surprise last week when, being home for the summer from college, she was complaining that it was so quiet in the house. My 15yo was a counselor at a sleep away camp, my 12yo is quiet and hangs by himself, and my 6yo is in day camp. My DD who always wanted to be an only child was complaining because she missed her brothers. She really does love them!

Yes, it does get better and it does pay off! No, it's not easy even now, but I wouldn't trade it for the world!

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

It will definitely get easier when one of them moves out. That's when my brother and I stopped fighting.

 

[Jeafl]

When they are teenagers, you will look back on this and think how easy it was.

Sad, but oh so true!

 

[Froggyswife]

When they are teenagers, you will look back on this and think how easy it was.

No truer statement has ever been made.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Sad, but oh so true!

Yes and no. My teenagers are SO much easier than Jake was between the ages of 1 and 5yo. Jake is only 6, so I don't know what he will be like as a teenager. He might put me over the edge, but he's ok now. My teens are challenging one moment, but then so adult-like, helpful, and sweet the next. It's the not knowing which I will have any given moment that is hard. Jake, as a preschooler, was a handful probably 90% of his waking hours. Not always nasty, but always questioning and very often negative, fighting me, etc. Really glad that he wasn't #3 child or there wouldn't have been #4.

 

[Poohnatic]

It does get better.

When my two were younger, I had so many days I wanted to tear my hair out. They are now 10 and 7 and they still drive me crazy, but they play together far more than they complain about each other.

You need a 'me' day!

Suzanne

 

[Sue Sullivan]

I would say it gets different, not better. The older mine get, the less physically tiring they are, but emotionally exhausting is another story.