I have lived in NC for almost 12 years (8 years in Cary/Apex, and the last 4 in Charlotte). Here is my opinion:
Cary/Apex/Raleigh---closer to the universities and seems to have more professional types. The school system (Wake County) is ok but there is (and has been for a while) a lot of redistricting. That means kids get shuffled around often from school to school. I think there is some effort to try and minimize that. A lot of the schools are year round, too. The pros of Raleigh/Cary area are: less crime (compared to Charlotte), it's very clean, and there are many parks and natural areas. It really is a lovely area to live, although more expensive than Charlotte. The cons are that cost of living and housing is more expensive than Charlotte, and there really isn't much in the way of culture or nightlife.
Charlotte---not as close to the big universities. Most people who can afford it do not send their kids to public school if they live in Mecklenburg county. Private schools are VERY expensive here, and very popular. I live in Union County, which is just south of Charlotte proper, and the schools here are pretty decent. Union County is semi-rural, though, it takes about 10 minutes to get to the beltline from our house. Pros: low cost of housing & living, all the benefits of living in a big city (more culture/sporting events & nightlife, major international airport), proximity to the mountains, good shopping. Cons: Crime is a much bigger problem here, and the schools can be hit or miss depending on where you live. There are also fewer parks and green areas, and most are not as nice or new as what you'd find in the Raleigh area.
My DH telecommutes and we could have chosen to live anywhere in the US. We chose NC. I LOVE the climate here, the proximity to the mountains and the beach, and the overall friendliness of the people who live here. NC is a great place to live and raise a family.