Teenage Bullying-What do we do?

[aristocatz]

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/30/us/30bully.html?src=me

Not sure how widespread this case is becoming. A young girl, just 2 towns away from me, was bullied at school to the extent that she ended up tragically committed suicide She was raped, verbally abused, spit on, cyberbullied on a daily basis before she finally couldn't take it anymore and hung herself. The 9 students involved have been arrested & are awaiting trial.

I was reading our local town message boards.Some people are saying that these kids should go to jail with the maximum penalty. Other people were saying they shouldn't do any time at all because bullying happens everywhere & it's just a part of life.

What do you think??

This is the 2nd case of teen suicide from bullying in my section of the state.

I was a victim of bullying when I was a child. Not to the extent of the child in the above case & I survived, but not without long term repercussions. After I left high school & the bullying behind, I went through years of depression, anxiety, zero self esteem, eating disorders, & a 3 year bout with self-cutting. I'm fine now, but the years I endured of both bullying & the aftermath should never have had to happen.

I feel like high school kids know right and wrong. They understand that teasing, harrassing, stalking, cyberbullying is not right, yet they do it anyways because they live in a frame of mind that they are undestructable. I think that strict punishment should be put into place, especially when a life was lost as a consequence of their actions.

The school should also be held accountable. They actually had a bullying expert come to their schools and speak to their staff a few months before this young girl killed herself, but apparently they did not put no tolerance policies into effect. Administration should be punished for not creating strict policies and procedure for even the slightest bit of bullying on school property. If the school does not intervene when the bullying is minor, it will just escalate & spin out of control. Schools need to emphasize a no tolerance attitude toward any form of bullying.

This family from the above linked case had moved here from another country and put their trust in the school system that the school system would care for their child while she was on their property. The school system failed in that task.

I'm curious to hear what your thoughts are on what punishments and what policies should be taken into effect for bullying in schools.

 

[threecrazykids]

I am still SOOO surprised how kids act these days towards their peers. It absolutely AMAZES me the things kids do anymore. I was actually just having a conversation with one of my sons teachers (who was also MY 9th grade science teacher) yesterday about this. I said "maybe I was completely oblivious in school, but I do NOT remember kids bullying other kids like they do now...and if any of us remotely THOUGHT someone was picking on someone else we were quick to defend the kid who was being picked on!" I said, if anything we made the person doing the bullying look like a complete ***.

She said...it is NOT like that anymore...kids turn on each other faster than you'd ever believe.

 

[Free4Life11]

It's very upsetting that the school did nothing and will face no consequences. I hope the people charged get the maximum punishment! Plaster their names and faces on TV please so we can all know who these little rotten monsters are and shun them accordingly. Of course their parents will probably claim it's lie and their kids would never do such a thing...

 

[Free4Life11]

http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2010/03/30/standing_up_for_phoebe/

In the days and weeks after Jan. 14, when 15-year-old Phoebe Prince hanged herself in a closet in her family’s apartment on Newton Street, the students who bullied her her death continued to walk the halls of South Hadley High as if nothing had happened. And the people who ran the schools seemed fine with that.

When this was pointed out, there were some people in South Hadley who got awfully defensive. “Blaming the victim’’ is a polite way to describe what they were saying about Phoebe. Character assassination is another.

 

[allison443]

I read that the girl's mother had spoken to the school adminstration twice about the bullying her daughter was experiencing. Apparently nothing was done-the bullies were not disciplined.

Also, when this story originally came out, it was billed as a "cyberbullying" story. Actually it turns out that the bulk of the bullying was done the old-fashioned way, in the school hallways and classrooms, and sometimes right in front of teachers.

Truly a heartbreaking story.

 

[FergieTCat]

I am still SOOO surprised how kids act these days towards their peers. It absolutely AMAZES me the things kids do anymore. I was actually just having a conversation with one of my sons teachers (who was also MY 9th grade science teacher) yesterday about this. I said "maybe I was completely oblivious in school, but I do NOT remember kids bullying other kids like they do now...and if any of us remotely THOUGHT someone was picking on someone else we were quick to defend the kid who was being picked on!" I said, if anything we made the person doing the bullying look like a complete ***.

She said...it is NOT like that anymore...kids turn on each other faster than you'd ever believe.

These days?

I was thinking the other day that I am very lucky that there was no Internet when I was a kid 35 years ago. I was bullied and had suicidal tendencies (I had a game plan as to exactly how I would commit suicide.) I never would have made it if I were cyberbullied as well.

Maybe if the bullies were met with real legal ramifications (assault, harrassment) they would take their actions more seriously.

 

[suzanna1066@comcast.]

Nothing gets me angrier than to hear someone say that bullying is just a part of life.

The punishment for bullying should be severe (including criminal prosecution). School administrators and teachers who ignore it and allow it to go on under their noses should be fired.

If my child is every bullied, I will take it as far as I have to to get it to stop. If I ever find out my child is bullying someone else, well, hell hath no fury. She will rue the day and will be taught a lesson she will never forget.

 

[Wishing on a star]

To all but legally force our children to live their lives in the public school system, and to not do anything to ensure their well being and safety, is the bigger crime here....

Our public school systems should be under a huge indictment for issues like this.

 

[PaulaSB12]

I went to a school with a "progressive" head teacher. It meant that he didn't like the kids from the "posh" end of town. It meant that one child who had his jaw broken by one of his favourites (the bullies) wasn't allowed to leave the school until the end of the school day. When the school was told that I was being bullied he joined in on it, I was put in detention fo being pushed in front of a car (seemingly if I lived in the area I did it meant I was flaunting my family wealth). The final straw for me was the day when I was 12 he told me that if he was as stupid as me he would kill himself (he got cancer couldn't have happened to a better person)

 

[amandaluvsgoofy]

I teach at a middle school and a common phrase from my mouth is "I am sooooo glad I'm not in middle school anymore! And am even more grateful I don't have to go back!"
Kids can be so mean! Granted, things weren't always easy when I was young. I remmeber kids laughing at others' expense or making fun because someone wasn't wearing the "right" shoes, clothes, etc. Fortunately, I never experienced the severe harrassment that Phoebe did. It breaks my heart to know she felt there was no way out except through suicide. These bullies deserve a dose of reality and should face severe punishments! I do hope the public school systems wake up and begin discouraging bullying along with enforcing much stricter punishments!

 

[parrotbay]

Funny how everyone is attacking the schools & teachers over this and not the parents of these bullies. The parents of these kids are more to blame than anyone. I'm sure the school has talked to at least a few of the parents about this issue. The problem in a lot of these cases is that parents just don't care.

Also, most of the bullying today is done via texting, internet, ect. outside the school.

 

[Rora]

There are so many people at fault here- the bullies, the school, and the bullies parents.

The bullies should get the max. penalty. I don't care that "kids will be kids" or if anyone claims that "bullying is a part of life".. it's not. It shouldn't be. I was never (thankfully) bullied as a child and neither were my friends (we were not in the "cool/popular" group either...).

I'm so sad and horrified about this situtation. May the poor girl rest in peace.

 

[allison443]

Funny how everyone is attacking the schools & teachers over this and not the parents of these bullies. The parents of these kids are more to blame than anyone. I'm sure the school has talked to at least a few of the parents about this issue. The problem in a lot of these cases is that parents just don't care.

Also, most of the bullying today is done via texting, internet, ect. outside the school.

Well in this case that the OP is posting about, most of the bullying was done in school, not outside of school. Some was done in front of teachers/staff. The girl's parent spoke to the administration and nothing was done. Some of the indicted students were still attending school at the time of indictment. They had never been disciplined. Why do you say you are "sure the school has talked to the parents"?

Edited to add, I know there are many cases where the bullying is outside school and that's a different story. However, in this case I really feel the school should have at least tried to do something.

 

[allison443]

I teach at a middle school and a common phrase from my mouth is "I am sooooo glad I'm not in middle school anymore! And am even more grateful I don't have to go back!"
Kids can be so mean! Granted, things weren't always easy when I was young. I remmeber kids laughing at others' expense or making fun because someone wasn't wearing the "right" shoes, clothes, etc. Fortunately, I never experienced the severe harrassment that Phoebe did. It breaks my heart to know she felt there was no way out except through suicide. These bullies deserve a dose of reality and should face severe punishments! I do hope the public school systems wake up and begin discouraging bullying along with enforcing much stricter punishments!

So when you see/hear the kids being so mean, as a teacher, what are you expected to do about it? Does your school have an official policy about bullying?

 

[devmer]

Honestly I think the people who say bullying is just a part of life used to be the bullies. I think that there should be laws that hold the adults in these situations accountable also, especially since Phoebe's mother complained to the school multiple times.

 

[FergieTCat]

Funny how everyone is attacking the schools & teachers over this and not the parents of these bullies. The parents of these kids are more to blame than anyone. I'm sure the school has talked to at least a few of the parents about this issue. The problem in a lot of these cases is that parents just don't care.

Also, most of the bullying today is done via texting, internet, ect. outside the school.

I completely blame the parents. But I can guarantee that someone will find this thread and insist that s/he should not be held responsible for his/her child's actions when the kid is out of his/her line of vision. That it's the schools responsibility to keep them in line. In fact, I remember reading something like that last week (don't remember the thread, but that was the reply).

Maybe if the bullies and their parents had to pay harsh consequences (be it fines or jail time) then the parents would put a stop to it.

Eagerly waiting for responses.

 

[momrek06]

I am from Boston, MA ... moved to Southern CA less than two years ago ... this story was "breaking news" yesterday here in San Diego, in the charging 9 students with the death of Phoebe.

I hope everyone of those 9 will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law and I do not gave a rat's behind that they are underage ... CHARGE THEM and THE SCHOOL.

This school system dropped the ball on Phoebe.

May she rest in peace.

 

[jazzielady]

to blame the public school system as a whole is ridiculous. Yes, in many cases the bullying is brought to the attention of the teachers/administrators, but unless the bullying actions are conducted in front of the adults, it is a matter of hearsay.

I was verbally bullied as a kid, and nothing happened that could have been noticed or reported by a teacher. Notes, whispers, yesterday's equivalents of texts and emails, are as, if not more, harmful than physical bullying. In most schools, physical bullying is the only kind that can be punished, as it is visually identifiable.

Google Rachel Simmons, Cheryl Dellasega, Rosalind Wiseland for a list of great information as to what can be done for children being emotionally abused by their peers.

 

[skater]

To all but legally force our children to live their lives in the public school system, and to not do anything to ensure their well being and safety, is the bigger crime here....

Our public school systems should be under a huge indictment for issues like this.

I agree so strongly with this. As adults, we have choices - most of us would never put up with the kind of treatment at our workplace that some kids receive every day in school.

 

[amandaluvsgoofy]

So when you see/hear the kids being so mean, as a teacher, what are you expected to do about it? Does your school have an official policy about bullying?

We're told to stop it! If something happened as severe as Phoebe's case and I knew about it, I positive I would have done something! We don't see kids shoving in the hallways, it's more of a discrete thing probably through notes, internet, etc. I wish as a teacher we had more of an opportunity to see and stop this behavior.