Teen Suicide, A Mother's Story

[Forevryoung]

Exactly 5 years ago this past Saturday I got a new chance at life- I attempted suicide and failed.

I was 16 and was tired of being depressed. I was tired of having to be perfect. My parents were well aware of what was going on. I had doctors trying to help me. Nobody was naive, everyone took action. I told my mom on multiple occassions "I want to die, please let me". One of the hardest things was watching my parents go through it. Every time I think about it the guilt overwhelms me. Even now.

I will tell my story to anyone who will listen, teenagers, fellow college students, and teachers. It is a tragedy and more must be done for high schoolers to show the impact of suicide/mental illness.

Five years ago I sat in a hospital bed and cried that I had failed at one more thing. Today I cried because I am proud of myself for how far I have succeeded.

 

[Cindy B]

so sad.

i went to a very competitive high school and while i was there we had a suicide every year. actually, one year we had two. most of them were for the same reason as this girl.

Caity caity--my district is now like this. For the past 8 years, there has been suicides of either high schoolers and now middle schoolers. Last year it was an 8th grader that felt the pressure.

I worry about my own children, and my students. There are some that I worry about and think they are going to be the one. There are tons of prevention programs out there now, but its every year for 8 years.. very very sad.

 

[Jennifer S]

Exactly 5 years ago this past Saturday I got a new chance at life- I attempted suicide and failed.

I was 16 and was tired of being depressed. I was tired of having to be perfect. My parents were well aware of what was going on. I had doctors trying to help me. Nobody was naive, everyone took action. I told my mom on multiple occassions "I want to die, please let me". One of the hardest things was watching my parents go through it. Every time I think about it the guilt overwhelms me. Even now.

I will tell my story to anyone who will listen, teenagers, fellow college students, and teachers. It is a tragedy and more must be done for high schoolers to show the impact of suicide/mental illness.

Five years ago I sat in a hospital bed and cried that I had failed at one more thing. Today I cried because I am proud of myself for how far I have succeeded.

I'm glad you made it and your doing more to help others. Good for you!!! Sounds like you have an amazing family too.

 

[Twinkles6892]

Found her Life Story The more you read, the more you want to go pound a wall.

Oh wow. She was gorgeous, and I wish I could be that smart. I want to fit into Abercrombie pants, but I'm definately not going to hang myself for it. So tragic

 

[Geoff_M]

"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."

I asked everyone to carefully consider that statement and, that if they were ever at a point in their life where suicide seemed to be the only answer, to seek help from a friend. And if that friend would not listen, to find someone else to talk to. And keep on going until you found someone who could convince you that better days are coming.

I realize that it may be hard for me to relate, as I've never been in that emotional situation, but after reading the story at the top all I can think of is Bobby Gaylor's "Suicide" rant. The comedian wrote it as an angry response to a friend of his' un-succesful attempt. The piece takes first takes you in one direction and then shifts gears mid-way and ends up as a powerful argument against "ending it all". It removes any veil of "romanticism" surrounding the act.

Some of the contents of it are not family friendly, so I won't post it here.... but just Google "Bobby Gaylor Suicide lyrics" and you'll easily find it.

 

[Towncrier]

Google "Bobby Gaylor Suicide lyrics"

Thanks. I hadn't seen that before.

 

[Poohbear123]

Of mine, got a call on Friday night, that one of his DS friends, a girl, killed herself that day. She was 15 also. He lives in Ga. with his Mom and he (My co-worker) flew out there on Sat.

 

[Rajah]

So tragic. I can't understand.... no, I can understand, but not believe...

Those poor girls (this one in particular, but all others out there who are suffering the same feelings)

I've said a prayer for all teens and adults who are feeling this way.

 

[Disney Doll]

How unutterably sad.

How unutterably tragic that our teenagers are buying into society's belief about what "perfect" is.

 

[Forevryoung]

How unutterably tragic that our teenagers are buying into society's belief about what "perfect" is.

Why shouldn't they? They are constantly being bombarded with messages that *they are NOT perfect* Why shouldn't they strive to achieve society's image of perfect? Yes, it is taken too far (I've been there) but when you already feel out of place as a teenager it's easy enough to become wrapped up in the feeling that everything will be better once you are *perfect*.

It really stinks feeling every single day that you are not good enough for the world. That you would have more friends, better grades, less acne, nicer hair, smaller sized clothes, whiter smile if only you could change. And you cant, there is nothing you can do about it. Things start to seem more and more hopeless and this is the end result.

 

[zalansky]

This story makes me incredibly sad, and to see her pictures on the Life Story link is heartbreaking. What a pretty girl.

 

[Mimi Q]

I just came across this thread. It is just heartbreaking. She was such a beautiful girl.

 

[Pooh93]

I am speechless. I can't imagine anything more heartbreaking for a parent.

 

[gradtchr]

Thank you for sharing this. Suicide is such a tragic end. My thoughts are with her family and friends.

 

[Bashful2]

So sad! DD's 16 year old friend hung herself in her bedroom last year. She didn't think anyone would care one way or the other. She never realized how special she was to so many people.

 

[ucfsweetie82]

Suicide is a very sad thing. Especially when it is someone so young. April 16 will mark the 3rd year since my cousin decided to commit suicide. He was like my big brother, and he doesn't realize how special he was to everyone.
He felt he was unsuccessful because he couldn't find a job in his major, and wasn't married with kids. He was young. 29.

 

[Caradana]

Incredibly insightful and powerful story. The mother cut to the core of what was going on in her daughter's mind ... but too late.

I understand the pain the daughter was in. I can't empathize to the extent of considering suicide, but I felt like life was a relentless race to become perfect, and I didn't have the life context yet to understand otherwise. I look back at the pictures, and I recall the way I felt, yet, I see an image of myself as everything I agonized about never being or never becoming. Insane. That age is so tough.

Thinking about it, hell, I was captain of three sports and valedictorian of my high school class, and you couldn't pay me enough to go back to my freshman year of high school. That age can be like a hot knife cutting you.

 

[TheRatPack]

Okay, I have two thoughts on this story.

1)Is this going to turn in to the "You should read your childs journal and invade their privacy". The mother mentioned that it had been mentioned in the girls journals over and over, many people will take this and twist it back to the argument over invading a childs privacy. Not sure how I feel about it, I suppose my diary was read and I lived so if I suspected something I might do it too? Who knows....it's heartbreaking to think that she wrote and wrote about it though and it might have been caught in time with just a few comments to reassure her.

2)I just mentioned this to my husband and he said "wow, that's crazy". I was like "CRAZY?" He said yea, she must have had some high standards being placed on her by her parents. Okay....so I finally gave up after I felt myself getting flustered, we'll have the discussion later when I'm not on the verge of crying over the tragedy of her death. But, is it so odd that a young girl would feel hopeless in this world that she would contemplate suicide? Do men not understand it as deeply as women? I don't think that the parents are the enemy in this situation, all parents...even great ones, sometimes say the wrong thing or don't say anything at all. But, in the end it's the child that makes the decision to end their lives. I asked him if he'd never felt so hopeless that ending it all sounded like a good alternative? He said no and started eating his candy bar! I'm amazed, married to a man for 12 years and we've never had this discussion. I read this and then watched her bio and went and hugged my kids....I just can't imagine them feeling that hopeless. I know I did in middle school more than high school. High school was actually pretty good, but I participated in lots of things and went to a different school than my sister (I was always her shadow).

Anyhow, any thoughts on how men perceive these things? Do you think it effects more girls? With all the adderall and other meds prescribed these days with suicidal feelings listed as a side effect, I'm surprised we don't see more of it in the news. I'm dreading those high school years for both of mine and have to remember to be more supportive and watchful.

 

[SillyMe]

That is so sad.