Team Focker Watch Chat - in the 11th Hour

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If you don't want to rehash, that's fine, but why are you supposed to change? :confused:

I don't mind at all actually. Talking about it helps. We have realized that both of us did things through the course of the almost 5 years. I stayed home and didn't step up to help KC when he really wanted more of a partner and he is at fault for not really expressing that thats what he needed. we both sort of evolved into people we weren't happy with. we both did wrongs. we have brought it all out in the open now, which is good and freeing. He needed more financial support and i needed more emotional support we were just too new at this to do it right.

For me realizing we did these things is a step to making it right. hes stuck in the too little too late mode. He is stubborn too, hes trying not to change his mind because hes come to this and thinks its the way out. he feels the problem is partly me and so he needs to get away from me. I know thats not the case, but he hasn't realized it yet.

The more people talk to him the more he has to think about, which is good because they are all things i would say but he wont hear them coming from me. I need to change and become more of the person i was when we met. I need to be less dependent on him and try to regain some of the old self i was. I know that actions will speak louder to him. i am doing it for me, but also for us. i don't wanna be the person i became as much as he doesn't want to either. I am changing, doing what i have to do, digging deep for strength and I have to believe he will see the changes and realize it was possible, and realize things can be good between us again.

I know that it may take us separating to figure that out, but I'm gonna do everything i can do prevent that. He agreed in therapy this week to give me a few months to save up, thats something. I know hes afraid to stay here even for a bit, in fear his mind will change and he wont stick to his resolve, but I'm hoping thats what happens. Hes afraid of things going back the way they were and things cant ever go back now, too much has changed already.

We are getting along so well, that has to count for something. I have hope because i knwo deep down we are good together and i love this man. He needs time. he's young. he has to figure it all out. I plan to show him i am the woman he feel in love with and we can be happy again.

Sorry you asked? LOL.

OK i have to get dressed and head out to LI for the wedding. Have a great weekend all!
 
I don't mind at all actually. Talking about it helps. We have realized that both of us did things through the course of the almost 5 years. I stayed home and didn't step up to help KC when he really wanted more of a partner and he is at fault for not really expressing that thats what he needed. we both sort of evolved into people we weren't happy with. we both did wrongs. we have brought it all out in the open now, which is good and freeing. He needed more financial support and i needed more emotional support we were just too new at this to do it right.

For me realizing we did these things is a step to making it right. hes stuck in the too little too late mode. He is stubborn too, hes trying not to change his mind because hes come to this and thinks its the way out. he feels the problem is partly me and so he needs to get away from me. I know thats not the case, but he hasn't realized it yet.

The more people talk to him the more he has to think about, which is good because they are all things i would say but he wont hear them coming from me. I need to change and become more of the person i was when we met. I need to be less dependent on him and try to regain some of the old self i was. I know that actions will speak louder to him. i am doing it for me, but also for us. i don't wanna be the person i became as much as he doesn't want to either. I am changing, doing what i have to do, digging deep for strength and I have to believe he will see the changes and realize it was possible, and realize things can be good between us again.

I know that it may take us separating to figure that out, but I'm gonna do everything i can do prevent that. He agreed in therapy this week to give me a few months to save up, thats something. I know hes afraid to stay here even for a bit, in fear his mind will change and he wont stick to his resolve, but I'm hoping thats what happens. Hes afraid of things going back the way they were and things cant ever go back now, too much has changed already.

We are getting along so well, that has to count for something. I have hope because i knwo deep down we are good together and i love this man. He needs time. he's young. he has to figure it all out. I plan to show him i am the woman he feel in love with and we can be happy again.

Sorry you asked? LOL.

OK i have to get dressed and head out to LI for the wedding. Have a great weekend all!

Thanks for the recap. I knew somethings were going on but did not realize it was this serious. Glad he agreed to therapy.
 
do have something to share with all of you- My DH had forgotten our 11th anniversary. :mad::mad: It's not for a few weeks, but he just asked if he could attend a fraternity gathering that night. I'm not about to remind him. I'm just plain hurt at him. :sad1:

Oh, Jen, I'm sorry. :hug:

I've been busy getting the kids back to school this week and am proud to announce that I will get a kid break 3x a week whist TINK is at preK. Yippee!:cool1:

Woohoo!

Ellie went to new singing classes this morning and didn't like it, she didn't do any singing :confused: I said to try 1 more week and make a decision!

That does seem strange... :confused:

She has another sleepover party tonight and J & I are meeting D to play golf after we've dropped her off. Then tomorrow I get to make my ADR's :yay:

Have fun! Woohooty on the ADRs!

I don't mind at all actually. Talking about it helps.

OK, thanks.

Sorry you asked? LOL.

Not at all. Just be sure YOU want the changes, too - I don't want to you to alter yourself just for him, you know? Because, you know, I like you as you are. :hug: But, I could see that if you want to get "back to the person you were" that makes total sense.

***************************************************
Not much going on here today. It's rainy and kind of blah. D left his suitcase in the locker room at the hangar yesterday :rotfl: and so we might all go down to retrieve it. The boys like looking at the planes. Or, I may send them and do some pick up around the house.

Have a good one!
 
Hi all! ANother check in from me. Getting a bit better. HAve a follow up with the specialist on Tuesday and my hope is that he will start backing off some of the drops and stuff. I can actually go outside during the day (with a hat and sunglases, but it's better than nothing!) Everything looks like it has a fog around it right now. Much better than it was. (Mel will completely understand:hug:)

Jim fixed my computer (made the print bigger, so hopefully I can keep up a bit better:cool1:)

I still have a hard time with brightness, so please forgive me if I don't quote, but know that I am reading along:hug:

It's been a great but busy week here. Jimmy started 1st grade on Tuesday and absolutely LOVES it:yay:. We had soccer sign ups on Wedensday night, a therapist appointment for him on Thursday, his 1st ever Cub Scout Meeting last night (Jim got roped into being Den leader:rotfl:, a birthday party today, and his 1st soccer game tomorrow.

Why does all of this have to happen during the 1st week of school :faint:

Hope everyone is well. :hug::hug::hug::hug: to all who need them.

:wave2: 2 everyone else! I miss and love you all.:hug:
 

Good day everyone! I'm catching up on TR's and letting my DH clean this mess of a house up... for once.

Hugs to Kat & Janet! (good to see you Janet!)
 
It's been a great but busy week here. Jimmy started 1st grade on Tuesday and absolutely LOVES it:yay:. We had soccer sign ups on Wedensday night, a therapist appointment for him on Thursday, his 1st ever Cub Scout Meeting last night (Jim got roped into being Den leader:rotfl:, a birthday party today, and his 1st soccer game tomorrow.

Why does all of this have to happen during the 1st week of school :faint:

Wow, that is a lot right now. Craziness!

Glad Jimmy's having fun in first grade!

Let us know how the doctor appointment goes!
 
Hi and welcome! Is this the Dole Whip Meet on May 16th you are talking about? If so you would have met me there as well. :goodvibes Welcome to the Fockers!

I'm Lessa, 26 year old full-time student and part-time emergency operator. I don't get to posting on this thread as much as I would like to but you know how that goes sometimes.

Everybody here is really friendly so don't feel. shy!

Yes I believe it was May 16th at MK. I was with my grandma for her 86th B-day! She had so much fun! Thank you so much for the welcome!:goodvibes

Hi Ingrid, as the others have said we're a very friendly bunch so just join in the chat and tell us some more about you :goodvibes I'm Jo a 36y/o SAHM from England, I'm also an avid golfer so not only do I spell all my words funny I also bore you with golf stuff :rotfl2: Oh I'm also very lucky to be on the Disney World Moms Panel!

WOW a real Moms Panel mom! :cutie: I love your avatar picture, those robes look so comfoy. Well I put in my app on the first day! I wish everyone the best wishes. Being a Moms Panel mom is a dream come true! Congrats!!!!!

:welcome: to WeloveMickey!!!

I'm Mel. I'm a SAHM with two boys, 12 and 16. My dh, NotBob, works for the auto industry here in Michigan. He's NotBob because his name isn't Bob.....

We are leaving for WDW in two weeks (or so...) with a few other members here at TFW. Can't wait!

2 weeks! I am 80 something days away and think of Disney almost every waking min. How you doing with only two weeks away! :laughing: Thanks for the warm welcome!

Welcome Ingrid!

I'm Z, 30 yr old mother to 3 furbabies :cats: and work at a hospital as an admissions clerk for the ER. You'll love it here :goodvibes :grouphug:

Thank you Z. I do LOVE it here already!:hug:

Hi Ingrid! :wave:

I'm T, a SAHM of DD7 and DS5 and my DH is Andy. We live in So. Cal. Welcome to the funky bunch.:goodvibes


Thank you T! I am a SAHM too! I have 3 kids, DS3, DD7 ,and DD11. I am also married to my funny sometimes annoying husband Matt:rolleyes1:laughing:

Hello! I saw your TR title and had to see what it was all about. I subbed but I have to warn you. I am waaaay behind on my TR reading. Well, my name is Debra and I am a mother to 4 wonderful kids and 1 really bad one :rotfl: I am also an engineer for the time being **Warning - see vent below[/COLOR

Hi! I remember when you started your TR! Your title intrigued me too! 5 kids alone at Disney,wow you are the MOM! I am reading your for tips. I know that sooner or later I am going to be taking the kids by myself, cause my husband works. Plus we will have annual passes next year and those are going to burn a hole in my pocket!!!
 
Yes you did !!! Did I give you a Focker Lanyard ?????You will love the Fockers, they are wondeful friends when you need a hug:hug: and very free with the humor !!!:rotfl2: I am glad you joined us !!!!


Hi Rosie! :wave2: You were such a sweetie that night! No I didn't get one but that's okay. We will have plenty of more Disney adventures in the future!

Are there any Focker met ups in Dec. 12/9-12/15 those are the dates we will be there.

Have a magical trip!!
 
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have you guys heard the big news?! Fantasyland is getting a major expansion. It looks totally awesome!

Here's the link the the discussion on the Theme Park boards.


http://disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2282586

overallfantasyland945.jpg


fantasyland_plans250k.jpg
 
Hey Friends----sorry I have been MIA---you all shouldn't have got me addicted to Farmville....even my real goats are upset!:rotfl:

Janet--so glad you are improving--will you eyesight be back to normal?

kat--sorry you are still having troubles. Good luck at the wedding!

Rosie--Happy trip!!

Jo--my girls are at sleepovers tonite too....normally this is a good thing but Daran is still in Colorado elk hunting...so that leaves me with 12 animals!

....and I didn't have tickets to the VT game so that made for a boring Sat!

But Ab and I did take Max and Bear for a walk around the lake--will try to post some pics if I can find the camera!


Oh--Jen---just say NO YOU CAN"T GO---that's our anniversary and then expect a really big gift! Daran had to go on a work trip this year during on our 19th...but I got a promise of a cruise for next year!

(oh---I booked my cruise BTW---5/16/2010 on Carnival Freedom...just the 2 of us...and we're virgin cruisers so any advice appreciated!.......would have liked the Disney one better but just too much $$ with our Paris trip later on. Looks fun tho!
 
Hi all -

Kat - :hug:

CE - Thanks! Will definitely let you know how the appointment goes.

Ingrid - :wave2: Welcome to the craziness of Focker World. I'm Janet. Mom to Jimmy (6) and my DH Jim. I am a Probation Officer in Philadelphia. Right now I am out of work becasue I got sick while in Disney:sad:, hence all the talk about my eyesight.

Hi TE - According to the doctor eyesight should be fine, it's just going to take a while.

Lessa - Can you send me the Fantasyland info in an email so I can check it out when my eyesight is better? Did you start school? How is it going?

Recap of my test results - According to the specialist 90% of the time they never know what casues Iritis. It's the other 10% that concerns them (Mel correct me if I am wrong!). The 10% things they tested me for include glaucoma (which I believe is the case with you Mel:confused3), lyme disease, lupus, sarcodosis (which anyone who watches House knows its NEVER sarcodosis), syphillis (I would have had some explaining to Jim to do on that one:scared1:). and TB. All of the tests came back negative. The one thing they did discover is that I am anemic..on top of everything else, so I have to take and Iron pill everyday now. They also gave me a chest xray which was completely clear! At this point it's just lots of steroids and atropene )to dialate the eyes). The doctor said it could take up to 8 weeks. I am out of work until at least October 1st, which wouldn't be bad if I could DO something. I can't drive, which is driving me the craziest--having to depend on other people to help me get Jimmy to school, etc. I am very lucky to have great friends and neighbors. My friend Kris who lives in Jersey has been coming over to take me to take me to doctors appointments, and my neighbors have been taking me and Jimmy to school in the mornings (he is still going to his after school program. I have been able to start doing small things..laundry, straightening, etc....but I am still getting tired very easily, so I take a nap everyday :sad. (Are you all sorry you asked)

HAve agood night everyone!
 
Busy weekend here, but wanted to say hi! I don't know if I can wait till 2012 for the new Fantasyland! Wow!

Yes, Janet, I had the same tests. Of course, in my case, it was Glaucoma but I'm really glad yours isn't. Keep doing the steroids as they are the thing that really helps and try to get well. Don't worry about relying on others. You know (and we do too!) that you often return the favor and wouldn't ask if you didn't have to. Friends WANT to do nice things for each other! :goodvibes

Please get well soon.

Everyone else, have a great weekend! Back to watching TV with NOTBOB!

MEL
 
Janet, I'm glad you're not in the 10%! I would go crazy without driving too, but you do have great friends!

TE, I love cruising! You all didn't know that did you? :rolleyes1 No real advice but there is always something to but don't feel like you have to do it all. Reading by the pool or whatever is good too. :thumbsup2 I've never been Carnival, but I'm sure you'll have a great time.

Since Tennessee looked horrible yesterday, I'll be watching real football today. Go Colts and Giants! Then my boyfriend, Rafa Nadal, plays tennis and the Braves still have a slim chance to make the baseball playoffs. I need a sports bar in my sunroom! :rotfl2: Oh yea, laundry too, but my house is finally put back together after my plumbing :cool1: Happy Sunday! :goodvibes
 
TAKE CARE, JANET!
I'M GLAD YOU HAVE SUCH GREAT FRIENDS. :hug:

Busy weekend here, but wanted to say hi! I don't know if I can wait till 2012 for the new Fantasyland! Wow!

Yes, Janet, I had the same tests. Of course, in my case, it was Glaucoma but I'm really glad yours isn't. Keep doing the steroids as they are the thing that really helps and try to get well. Don't worry about relying on others. You know (and we do too!) that you often return the favor and wouldn't ask if you didn't have to. Friends WANT to do nice things for each other! :goodvibes

Please get well soon.

Everyone else, have a great weekend! Back to watching TV with NOTBOB!

MEL

Janet, I'm glad you're not in the 10%! I would go crazy without driving too, but you do have great friends!


You guys are the best:hug:

Another busy day here. We leave for soccer in about an hour. Jimmy is very excited. I'm sure Jim will bring the camera to take some pics. Then we are running to Michael's so our new Tiger Den Leader:lmao: can pick up some crafts for the kids to do on nights when the weather isn't great. BTW - Michael's has all their kids crafts 5-% off if anyone is interested! Then we have to to run to the grocery store for some staples. After that it should be a fairly quiet day. The Eagles come on at 1:00, but we will probably miss at least the 1st quarter...which I don't watch football, is no great loss.;)

My neighbors who helped me get Jimmy to school this past week are away for their second honeymoon, so Jimmy will be doing before school care for the 1st time. Wish us luck with a new routine. If it goes well, even when I go back to work it will be good to have that as a back up in case I need to go in early for a meeting or something.

Also, I am starting to catch up TR's. please be patient with me. I started with V's last night and it took me almost 2 hours because I have to take a break so often.

Sorry for being so long winded, but I missed talking with you all:hug:
 
(oh---I booked my cruise BTW---5/16/2010 on Carnival Freedom...just the 2 of us...and we're virgin cruisers so any advice appreciated!.......would have liked the Disney one better but just too much $$ with our Paris trip later on. Looks fun tho!

There's a 25% chance we will be on the same cruise! I probably shouldn't have told you so that I could have really scared the crap out of you!!! :rotfl2:
 
OK i have to get dressed and head out to LI for the wedding. Have a great weekend all!
You need to do what's best for you as well as what's best for you and KC and have a good wedding :hug:

That does seem strange... :confused:
I know I thought you'd get to sing at singing classes :rotfl2:

Hi all! ANother check in from me. Getting a bit better. :
I'm so pleased you're getting better Janet :hug:

WOW a real Moms Panel mom! :cutie: I love your avatar picture, those robes look so comfoy. Well I put in my app on the first day! I wish everyone the best wishes. Being a Moms Panel mom is a dream come true! Congrats!!!!!
Good luck with your application and I was lucky enough to be sent one of those robes as a Mothers Day pressie, they're lovely :goodvibes

Are there any Focker met ups in Dec. 12/9-12/15 those are the dates we will be there.
I'm at the GF from 12th to 22nd December but my hubbie may kill me, no he will kill me, if I meet anyone else :rotfl2:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have you guys heard the big news?! Fantasyland is getting a major expansion. It looks totally awesome!

Here's the link the the discussion on the Theme Park boards.
It was all over Twitter, they sound like enormous plans!!!

Hey Friends----sorry I have been MIA---you all shouldn't have got me addicted to Farmville....even my real goats are upset!:rotfl:
:rotfl2: and the cruise sounds nice!

I have been able to start doing small things..laundry, straightening, etc....but I am still getting tired very easily, so I take a nap everyday :sad: (Are you all sorry you asked)
You poor thing, why is it when we want to laze around we can't yet when we're forced too it's horrid :hug:



Got all my ADR's for December :yay: I had the nicest CM called Loretta and she is now recommending the Moms Panel to everyone :rotfl2: Ellie had a good sleepover but between waiting till midday for ADR's and her being tired we've done nothing today :sad2: Jess is in the kitchen making some chocolate creation so she's happy :rotfl2:
 
Weekend update!

Say hello to our new Focker friend - WelovMickey!

11.gif


I live in the Mid-west with my husband and our furkids. I work a weird ‘vampire’ schedule. I try to do these updates every so often to keep everyone up to speed. I just celebrated my 11th anniversary. In 14 days I’ll be at the motherland of magic with my BFF - girls only!

CE figures if some tennis persons who are a little more experienced than her ask her to play, she can’t be all that bad at the game. She admits she likes neighbors who don’t have better housekeeping skills than hers. It makes it much easier to have them over for dinner.

:rotfl2: Let me sign myself up for dinner at your house some time. You are safe with me for sure! Between Doug and the dogs, my house is never completely organized.

I'm glad you don't suck at tennis.


JO had a bad day at golf on Friday. Her DH had a lot to say about it. Ellie doesn’t like singing classes that don’t sing. Ells was having another sleep over and there was going to be more golf with DH.

I sympathize with Ellie. Did David come home with all his balls? :rotfl:

MEL is having trouble adjusting to the school schedule. She is now in laundry heaven. Her washer is working again.

'Yay!' for the washer. The little things do matter. I hope you get your sleep turned around soon.

T is paying for her fun at the department stores. She is out making them happy again with shopping for goodies for the new kitchen. So she can pay bills again next month.

It's a vicious cycle! I nearly fell over when I saw our last credit card bill! Dang Disney!

DEB is so vital to her company that her new boss decided to OK her for full time without really telling her that. She is not happy.

That is not cool! I'm like you, I appreciate my job. I'm thankful that I have one. My family comes first. The companies don't take care of you like they used to do in the past. All I'm working for is $$$$ and my 401K. I doubt there will be any SS. Pensions are a thing of the past. Health care is in a spiraling drain of despair. I guess I'm trying to say - it is just a job to me now.

LESSA’s first week in school went well. Now she gets to deal with partying fools all weekend at the university job. She says Fantasyland is getting an expansion.

Glad your first week went well! I hope things don’t get too out of hand this weekend.

Hey that is great news for Fantasyland. The Dumbo expansion alone has been so needed.


KAT says KC is giving marriage advice. Which she thinks is helping him too. They had a wedding to go to on Saturday.

I admire your strength and courage. As long as you both know that change has to happen, I think that is a good thing. It takes 2 to screw it up. It will take both of you to fix it!

Z was vegging.

ROSIE headed to WDW this morning!

:woohoo:

JV has a forgetful DH when it comes to anniversaries. She is getting a kid break 3 times a week since Tink will be in PreK.

You poor thing. I make sure Doug doesn't forget. He likes to eat too much anyways.

It will be nice for you to have those weekly breaks now.


DREAMIN’ did a fly-by.

JANET and Jim have had a busy week with all of Jimmy’s activities. She is still having a problem with brightness but she thinks she will be able to talk with us on a more regular basis now. She has another appointment with the specialist on Tuesday. She has some great friends and neighbors helping her out.

Tell Jimmy I wish him good luck with this new school year!


TE says she is addicted to Farmville. Her real goats are jealous. She will be sailing with Carnival on May 16th.

Those poor goats. Congrats on the cruise!

ANGELA needs a ‘woman cave’ for her sports watching.

That could be a cool concept from a woman's point of view!

SLATE may be cruising at the same time as TE….on the same boat.

:yay:



My personal update in the next post.
 
I posted this on Enchanted. It's my anniversary report.

#1 - The Uber-Grill: accessory or need?
Anniversary2009001-2.jpg


It was the first thing that Doogles hit me up with when the patio was finished. We had a grill. He wanted a GRILL. Not just a grill but a smoker too! $$250$$$!!

OMG! Are you kidding me? I'm thinking some benches, some flower pots, a fire pit, some storage stuff etc, etc,.............. He says, "Think of it as our first accessory for the patio. Oh and it's on sale for $150!"

"No", says me. Maybe next year when I know whether or not I will still have a job. (Stay tuned on that one folks.) Besides there are so many other things we NEED to get done.

So like most good wives that I know, a week later I secretly purchased it and hid it at his mother's until last week. It was his anniversary gift. Yes he was surprised and very happy!!! I won't go into details on how happy. OHHHHHHH SMOKIN'!!!!!!!!! ;) TMI???:rotfl2:

#2 - Oh and he surprised me with a rock!!!!!

OK, before you get too excited.....


It is an actual rock.
Anniversary2009002-1.jpg


It is cute and at $30, quite a steal, I think. Yeah, he left the price on it. :rolleyes: I am incorporating it into the "water-feature" of tomorrow.



That brings us to our actual celebration day, Sept. 12th!
We celebrated at our all-time favorite restaurant: Maple Corner.
Anniversary2009001.jpg


It's located in Covington, In off I-74. I've been a patron for too many years to say. It was established a long, long, time ago in a galax........oops! You know what I mean.

It's quaint, homey, not too fancy but nice. The food has always, always been excellent. Let us view some pictures, shall we.

Our table and Doogles. Full of cheer as usual when he sees the camera!
Anniversary2009003.jpg


My view of the room behind Doogles
Anniversary2009004.jpg

Anniversary2009007.jpg


Doogles - dressed to the nines as usual. :rolleyes1
Anniversary2009005.jpg


Me - trying to look sexy and failing miserably! J/K Do I look drunk? stoned? I swear on my grandma's grave - I am not!
Anniversary2009010.jpg


The large dining area. It was set up for a bank party tonight.
Anniversary2009006.jpg


This is the room next to us.
Anniversary2009009.jpg


Now what you have been waiting for.....oh yes I did!
FOOD PORN!!!!!
Anniversary2009011.jpg

This fondue is 'to die for'!

Homemade bread
Anniversary2009012.jpg


My dinner: Filet with green beans. The filet was a perfect medium and soooooo tender.
Anniversary2009013.jpg

The brown liquid is dipping juice. Very good stuff!

I didn't take a picture of Doogle's plate. He had a sirloin with some fried shrimp.

We didn't have dessert. I looked at Doogles when the bill came and said, "It still ain't Disney - no free champagne - no free dessert......." He chuckled. I can get him to do that once in a while.

Total with tip - $69 Not too shabby for these parts!

And to think it is only 45 minutes from the house!

It is worth it though, obviously!

Well that wraps up my anni. celebration.

I hope you enjoyed looking at the pictures.:)
 
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