KatGarcia
Just Keep Swimming.
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2006
- Messages
- 5,479
If you don't want to rehash, that's fine, but why are you supposed to change?![]()
I don't mind at all actually. Talking about it helps. We have realized that both of us did things through the course of the almost 5 years. I stayed home and didn't step up to help KC when he really wanted more of a partner and he is at fault for not really expressing that thats what he needed. we both sort of evolved into people we weren't happy with. we both did wrongs. we have brought it all out in the open now, which is good and freeing. He needed more financial support and i needed more emotional support we were just too new at this to do it right.
For me realizing we did these things is a step to making it right. hes stuck in the too little too late mode. He is stubborn too, hes trying not to change his mind because hes come to this and thinks its the way out. he feels the problem is partly me and so he needs to get away from me. I know thats not the case, but he hasn't realized it yet.
The more people talk to him the more he has to think about, which is good because they are all things i would say but he wont hear them coming from me. I need to change and become more of the person i was when we met. I need to be less dependent on him and try to regain some of the old self i was. I know that actions will speak louder to him. i am doing it for me, but also for us. i don't wanna be the person i became as much as he doesn't want to either. I am changing, doing what i have to do, digging deep for strength and I have to believe he will see the changes and realize it was possible, and realize things can be good between us again.
I know that it may take us separating to figure that out, but I'm gonna do everything i can do prevent that. He agreed in therapy this week to give me a few months to save up, thats something. I know hes afraid to stay here even for a bit, in fear his mind will change and he wont stick to his resolve, but I'm hoping thats what happens. Hes afraid of things going back the way they were and things cant ever go back now, too much has changed already.
We are getting along so well, that has to count for something. I have hope because i knwo deep down we are good together and i love this man. He needs time. he's young. he has to figure it all out. I plan to show him i am the woman he feel in love with and we can be happy again.
Sorry you asked? LOL.
OK i have to get dressed and head out to LI for the wedding. Have a great weekend all!