Team Focker Watch Chat - in the 11th Hour

[jcc0621]

We are thinking about pushing the 2012 trip back to 2013 as well. Not only for financial reasons (school) but also because we want to go once everything is completed.

There is just something not so magical about FL being under construction. For some reason any other construction probably wouldn't matter so much, KWIM?

 

[jcc0621]

OMG my girls will be 15 and 17 then Sounds a great trip though

Good. You can plan a trip for the same time. Jess and Ellie can take Jimmy out and we can have a grown-up night :

Ellie's new friend Ellen's Mum just called and invited her round to play tomorrow, a few things she said though I'm not sure if I'm invited too suppose I'll find out tomorrow

Is this a new school this year, or just a new feiwnd in her class? Play it by ear when you rake her over!

----------------------

Waiting for my boys to get home. Will then make dinner and get them ready for their Cub Scout Meeting. I was going to go, but I am going to do the grown up thing and do some more cleaning. Boy, this being responsible thing really stinks sometimes! I want to get as much as I can tonight becasue we are meeting up with friends tomorrow for playground time (re: tire the kids out day) and then back here for Taco's and beer for dinner (Look away R, yes I use one of those Taco Kits). Thinking we might stop and get wings too. I've had a craving the last few days. AND NO I AM NOT PREGNANT.

 

[Lifelong_Dreamer]

There is just something not so magical about FL being under construction. For some reason any other construction probably wouldn't matter so much, KWIM?

I actually don't think we will see much of the construction going on. The current Fantasyland isn't being altered really other than the moving of Dumbo and the eventual construction of the "wall" and I assume that will be done at the very end so everything will be pretty much business as usual as the construction will all be behind scene.

I was just thinking about the delay as we won't be going for several years so what is what one more year and then we will get to see everything (Pixie Hollow) instead of just the new princess areas.

 

[Disneyland_Mama]

I want to get as much as I can tonight becasue we are meeting up with friends tomorrow for playground time (re: tire the kids out day) and then back here for Taco's and beer for dinner (Look away R, yes I use one of those Taco Kits). Thinking we might stop and get wings too. I've had a craving the last few days. AND NO I AM NOT PREGNANT.

I'm going to assume "R" means "T", since I'm the only brownie 'round these parts lately.

I have a super easy taco recipe that'll knock the socks off your friends if you ever want authentic tacos. Please, please don't tell me you're using ground beef? I think I need to fly out to Philly STAT!

 

[Muffinygood]

T: What do you use? I actually use ground turkey. I made shredded pork in the crock pot yesterday though, and I had tons left over. I also made homemade salsa with all our tomatoes. I was thinking tacos would be delish but wasn't sure how to do that?

MEL

 

[cmp1111]

It's been another tough week. Short version: Leo's having a tough time adjusting to his new situation and work is going through major changes. There's no freaking escape, lol! Remember how I joked about FBing for work? Yeah, well, it's no longer a joke. Most of my day is now spent social networking for work. I think it's part of why I'm not posting more here; I'm burned out on the Internet socializing.

to all.

Aw, hon, I'm sorry you've had a tough week.

Jim and I talked last night and we decided to do the responsible thing. I had already told you all that we weren't doing DIsney next year (I will do a short trip to visit my parents). Last night we sat down with the bills and the budget, etc and came up with what we have dubbed.

GOAL AUGUST 2013​

Yes, we are going to wait 4 years yo go back to muy happy place. Why may you ask? We could afford yo do it next year{WE have been very lucky even during this stinking economy), if we stayed at a value, ate most counter service meals, etc. However...we don't want to (Insert stamping foot so I get my way smiley). Also, with all the construction that's going to be happening at the MK over the next couple of years we want to wait until its all done!

Well, we know I'm a big fan of AKL savannah view. Seriously, it sounds like a great trip.

Ellie's new friend Ellen's Mum just called and invited her round to play tomorrow, a few things she said though I'm not sure if I'm invited too suppose I'll find out tomorrow

I hate when I don't know if I'm supposed to stay or go...

AND NO I AM NOT PREGNANT.

Sure...

I'm going to assume "R" means "T", since I'm the only brownie 'round these parts lately.

Undoubtedly one of her tupos...

Poor Janet.

***************************************************
A few minutes of relative quiet... Our friend came before 4:00. She and D were on call, so we didn't break out drinks until 5:00. They have gone to pick up Chinese food (we were so late last night that we just ate out at Friday's, as it was closest and we couldn't handle the wait of driving something home, getting set up, etc.)

The snacks went over very well! Still wish you all could have joined me, though.

I need to get the table cleared and ready, and so on, but thought I'd check in.

I hope you all have a great night. I think she's staying the night here, which is good - no one needs to drive once they've gotten the food - and the boys are planning on watching the (undoubtedly horrible) live-action Scooby Doo movie we DVR'ed the other night.

See you tomorrow (likely!)

 

[dlwharp]

Welcome to the new Focker Friends! I'm Jen, a SAHM to two (see my siggie), Like all of you I love Disney, but I also love to scrapbook and bake too!

Tomorrow starts a huge SCRAPFEST 09- a scrapbooking convention put on by the store Archivers.

I'll bet the convension is a blast! I spent all day at the quilt show yesterday - I was in Heaven!

Hi Denise! I recognized your name from my TR! Nice to see you here.

HI T ! CAn't wait to see pictures of your new kitchen

Join in any time and get that post count up. I think your Focker title should be Leader of the Lurkers!

I like it

BTW did you hear about the bomb scare on WDW busses.

Geeze, what's going to happen next

Jim and I talked last night and we decided to do the responsible thing.

Good for you - seems like we've all had to do some of that this last year. But, the trip looks great - and you have a ticker! I always like having a ticker, no matter how far out it is

I have a super easy taco recipe that'll knock the socks off your friends if you ever want authentic tacos. Please, please don't tell me you're using ground beef? I think I need to fly out to Philly STAT!

Yes, PLEASE come to Philly - we can have Taco class at my house
-----------

KAT - I'm not sure what is wrong with your back, but I sure feel for you. You just may get some relief from the yoga. My daughter is currently going through severe back pain due to some herniated discs. Although she's getting cortisone injections, it takes forever to schedule them and her neurologist recommended acupuncture. She tried it (at that point she was ready to try anything) and it worked immediately. She actually had the acupressure done. So, I just wanted to put that out there as an option.

 

[Disneyland_Mama]

T: What do you use? I actually use ground turkey. I made shredded pork in the crock pot yesterday though, and I had tons left over. I also made homemade salsa with all our tomatoes. I was thinking tacos would be delish but wasn't sure how to do that?

MEL

I use the cheapest cut of roast I can find! Throw that into the crockpot with some Adobo seasoning, onion, garlic and leave it there until it's falling apart. Shred it up and throw it in some fried corn tortillas and it's a party in your mouth.

Shredded pork? Even better. Put a little oil in the pan and saute that pork until it's warmed up. Throw that into warm corn tortillas, with a little fresh onion and cilantro, fresh salsa and you've got Carnitas taco al carbon! YUM-O!

Yes, PLEASE come to Philly - we can have Taco class at my house

I'll teach you guys tacos, but you've got to teach me Cheesesteaks and Pierogies (sp?)!

Tonight I'm making green chili enchiladas, fideo, and calabasitas. YUMMY! I feeling very in touch with my browness today! Aiiiiyaaayayaya!!!!! Arribbbbaaa!!!!

 

[mrsksomeday]

Kat- I wanted to say that LL's right. We love you and we will be here for you no matter what. I agree that it's time to think about what your future looks like and prepare for it. I'm so glad that LL said what we didn't know how to say. She's a true girlfriend.

ITA with this. LL said what I was thinking as well. KC is clearly telling you how he feels about the situation, are you really listening to what he is saying or are you just trying to change his mind. I know you are saying you are trying to change, will that really change the outcome in the long run? Even if his friends think he might change his mind it is ultimately up to him how he feels. I want you to be happy, I want both of you to be happy that might be together or it might be apart, I hope you are preparing yourself for both possible outcomes .

 

[Muffinygood]

I use the cheapest cut of roast I can find! Throw that into the crockpot with some Adobo seasoning, onion, garlic and leave it there until it's falling apart. Shred it up and throw it in some fried corn tortillas and it's a party in your mouth.

Shredded pork? Even better. Put a little oil in the pan and saute that pork until it's warmed up. Throw that into warm corn tortillas, with a little fresh onion and cilantro, fresh salsa and you've got Carnitas taco al carbon! YUM-O!


I'll teach you guys tacos, but you've got to teach me Cheesesteaks and Pierogies (sp?)!

Tonight I'm making green chili enchiladas, fideo, and calabasitas. YUMMY! I feeling very in touch with my browness today! Aiiiiyaaayayaya!!!!! Arribbbbaaa!!!!

Yum!!! That all sounds so good. Now I'm craving the *REAL* stuff. Ortega taco kit just doesn't cut it.
I'm going to make tacos with the shredded pork next time!

 

[puggymom]

Well since Janet is showing enough maturity for both of us, I'm going to throw a tantrum because I don't want to go home tomorrow

T - you don't have to worry about this Irish Lass messing up making Tacos, I just go to Taco Bell


Love Ya T!!!

Gotta finish packing and get some sleep.

Night Fockers!

 

[sorul82?]

Carnitas taco al carbon!


enchiladas, fideo, and calabasitas. Aiiiiyaaayayaya!!!!! Arribbbbaaa!!!!

Dude, that's a lot of espanol.....how much you been drinking?

 

[lazydoxy66]

Howdy again!

Kristel - I hope everything works out for all. My 2cents regarding ROcky's Mom. After what I went through with my Dad, she may need this trip mentally and getting away is the best thing. You are a great friend for caring so much.

BTW did you hear about the bomb scare on WDW busses. The whole system was shut down for a time yesterday. And this is why I rent a car, well that and I'm a control freak

Bye for now!

You and 2 others on Enchanted have hit it on the head. She basically told me this today.

JO’s decking was delivered early. She and David went for a walk.

Do you think you'll do OK at WDW?

MEL says she and SD have the sniffles. She went to work out today.

OMG, can any of us Fockers leave for or have a WDW trip without the drama!
How'd you do at the gym?

JANET said that US handled the whole sick situation like pros. Jim had no trouble with tickets or check-in and even got an upgrade! She thinks typing CLEAN in caps will get it done. She says they will not return to WDW until Aug. 2013. She has more pics at #3552.

UM, can you wait until 2014? J/K Besides my 15th anni will be on the 12th of Sept. that year. Kids will be in school. We're doing AKL also.

I absoluetly love Jimmy's expressions!

DENISE says she is working on a family cookbook. She loves that her older ‘kids’ still like to hang with them. She isn’t good with their packing/unpacking skills though.

You know, they do share recipes here.

TE is getting picked on a lot.

I'm sorry TE. They're behavior is disgusting. I do think that the perfect outfit for your shoes is pictured in a couple of TR's from certain Focker's. Something about Barbie at WDW?

CE is looking at cars. They have a friend that was showing up today and CE is not sure what they are going to do. She does know she is not cooking. She did get wine!

I can be there in 4 hours if I take Delta. You still have wine left, right?

ANGELA was getting’ her sexy on today.

Oh yeah, Marvin. Do you have some Barry White?

LL gave Kat an honest assessment of what she thinks of the problems with Kat and KC.
#3536

Bravo. Nicely done. The want and need thing was a huge message that I gave Doug in our second year of marriage when a certain issue arose. (Not infidelity related.) I told him that I was fine on my own when I met him, I would be fine without him. That might make me a b____h. I’m OK with that. Let’s just say I have never had to tell him that again.


V will do most anything for a Snickers ice cream bar. She is FBing for work. Then she doesn’t feel like being on the computer when she is home!

We miss you V!!!! for Leo too!

DAWN’s friend had a baby!



LESSA wants to go back to WDW in 2012 or 2013.

See above.

T gave us all a taco lesson. She wants to know about Cheesesteaks and perogis.

I’ve actually used ground deer in my enchiladas. Gotta love us Midwest Rednecks – We don’t need no stinkin’ beef!

MO doesn’t want to leave Florida.

You'll be back at WDW before you know it.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Enchanters can skip this first part.

Rockie’s mom was actually talking to and looking at us today. It takes a lot of effort on her part but she is doing it. She said she is ready to get out of the hospital. She wants everyone to quit messing with her and she has had a few choice words for the staff. The latter is always in making fun and not serious. That tells us she is definitely doing better. She is still in the critical care unit. The doctor says it is very encouraging but do remember things could go the other way. It’s just nice to see her acknowledging that we are there. That’s what you really want them to know!

I let her know there were a lot of people she didn’t even know pulling for her and she nodded. So keep it up, please!

I actually got Rockie to come out of the hospital for dinner. She, A and C joined me and Doug at the Golden Trough, oh, I mean the Golden Corral. It was good - Both the food and the getting out.


I just want to say we have some very caring, smart, powerful women on here. I appreciate knowing all of you. It's great to have a place like this to chat on. I know I will get honesty and help with any situation.

Well, I am continuing the countdown to the trip. I missed the start of my single digit days.

8 days left!!!

 

[KatGarcia]

First off LL I truly appreciate you taking the time to be honest with me and be a true friend, i truly am lucky to have you, and all the rest of you wonderful ladies in my life for support. That being said....

Kat…I haven’t been posting much as I really don’t have the time these days, but I feel for ya. Honestly though, as much as you love KC, I think it’s time you started getting tough and looking out for yourself. I admire the fact that you’re going to therapy (well, I saw you guys cancelled, so not sure if you’re done with it or not), but I need to say something and it’s NOT meant to be hurtful. I see that you love KC and want to change and keep him. Being sneaky about paying the rent in advance to keep him there isn’t the way to do it though. You guys need to be really honest with each other and if you’re stripping yourselves down to bare bones feelings and trying to get back what you had to begin with, Kat…this is not the way to go about it.

We only cancelled therapy because we have been running around a lot lately and both were sick last week so we just needed a night off to sit still and not run around. We are def going back again, the plan we have is super cheap and I am taking advantage of it even if he doesn't continue to go. But it looks like he is ready and willing to go.

I definatly didn't sneak paying the rent, I just meant I was the one who put the check in the mail. He is more aware of the finances than before, it's something we both are aware of more.

We have let EVERYTHING out on the table. We have said everything we can ever possible say to each other pertaining to the past and how we have been with each other. The communication is def open now more than ever before.

And I’m concerned about your self-esteem, Kat. I worry about you. Knowing the one you want doesn’t want to be there, but don’t lower yourself and try to change everything about yourself in the hopes that he’ll stay. Eventually you’ll end up resenting him, and maybe even yourself some day, and then no one will be happy.

I get that, i do. I am working on me right now for me, and ultimately for he and I as well but for me mostly. I didn't like the person I became over these years either, just as he feels he doesn't like the person he has become. We are financially stuck at the moment and have made the decision to stay here, together, so we can both get on our feet whatever the outcome is.

I also saw, and again, not meaning to be hurtful, but being honest, as I would hope that my friends would be with me if I were in your situation, that you had some issues with work and you’ve been calling in (despite the reasons you may have had) and just spending the days in bed, on the couch or wandering around the city and maybe shopping. Sweetie…wasn’t that one of KC’s biggest issues and reasons for wanting to leave was that you weren’t pulling your own weight and earning money to help out?? One week you’re going to change, then you don’t care about your job. Kat honey – this is not sending a good message to KC – consciously or subconsciously. And despite the fact that you may absolutely HATE the WOD job, it should be ending soon, no?

I am def not trying to F up at the job. Honestly I took it just to have a job because it was Disney. I really should have held out for a more suitable job for myself doing something less physical. It's not even a matter of me showing up for scheduled shifts, its the call-ins that are killing me. I am getting up at the crack of dawn and making the little bit of money they pay me. I won't leave one job without another, thats for sure too.

I remember seeing that you had the option of moving to Florida. Whether or not you end up doing that, Disney would be a great reference to have and could really help you get a job with them somewhere else or just retail in general. This is where I think you need to prepare yourself for the future. In case things don’t work out, you’re going to have to support yourself. At least you could have WOD on your resume and hopefully get a good reference out of it.

And will you be able to pull a full time shift? I realize it’s a different kind of work, but I know that physically and mentally a part time job is hard on you now. Don’t take on more than you can handle – you don’t need the added stress on the body or the mind. BUT you need prepare yourself Kat…for whatever comes next.

I am going to use Disney as a reference, nothing that has been done is irreversible, actually the call outs are erased after a 4 month period, which is up in Nov. I am sure the reference will be good, i have made several great contacts. And sadly the shifts are what they are, 5 hours only, since I am considered seasonal and part time. I'm taking it where i can get it but the pickings are slim at the moment.

Are you putting money aside for yourself? Are you planning for the near future? Buying a more expensive, more fun cell phone is not the way to look out for yourself – it’s bordering on denial. Can you afford your apartment if KC were to walk out the door tomorrow? Regardless of whether or not you paid the rent for the next month so he “can’t” leave? What if he does Kat?? Can you keep a roof over head? Can you keep the electricity on? Can you keep food in the house?

I am def planning for the future. I am making plans for the "just in case", a lot in fact. I have a few friends who i plan to move in with in or around January, if thats what things come to. I am all over getting a new job, hopefully the security job, but I also have been sending out resumes elsewhere. I also know for a fact he is not going to leave me high and dry, he has told me so. We have talked about him staying with his parents more in the coming few months, but he wont leave me. He offered me the $ in the savings account but I don't want to take it if i don't have to. The phone is a hand me down, it is KCs old phone, he bought himself a new one. It's actually part of the thinking ahead process because its one of the things i'd need if we aren't together in the end.

If I were there, I’d give you a big hug. And then I’d give you a good shaking. There’s NO way to keep him indefinitely Kat. You need to pick yourself up, splash some cold water on your face and say, “Ok, now what?” And come up with a plan. You can not rely on someone else to take care of you. And no one should really. Women should be prepared, happy marriage or not, to take care of themselves if they have to. Not just in the event of a divorce, but also a death.

I wouldn’t wish your current marital situation on anyone and I’ll admit I don’t quite understand all of what I’ve been reading. If my husband came out and said he doesn’t have feelings for me, had feelings for someone else, whatever the case…I think the last thing I could do is live in the same place with him, let alone spend every minute of the day with him. But I also admire that you can say you’re getting along better than ever. I don’t understand how, but more power to ya girlfriend. If it were me, I’d be too hurt and angry and probably have thrown him and his crap out on the street by now.

Things are odd between us, because we get along so well. We have gotten it all out now tho, all the things he wanted to say have been said. I just truly don't believe that he really wants to elave me. He wants to leave the situation. He has not idea what else to do to change thigns but leave. He is stubborn. he has to realize things can go back to good, that i can be the person i want to be and the person who can make him happy. he has to come to that on his own. im not going to push him. if he truly doesn't want to be with me then thats how it is, but i am very sure thats not the case. we wouldn't be as good together as we currently are if that was really the case.

Have you guys considered that maybe you’re better off as friends? Or that all of the anger/hostility KC’s been apparently harboring – now that it’s out in the open – is the reason you can get along better now? I’m at a loss. I learned a saying a long time ago, “You’re here because I WANT you here…NOT because I NEED you here”. Do you want someone who doesn’t want you, or is it that you think you need him in your life? Think about it Kat.

I really believe, in my heart, that he wants to be here. He just doesn't want things to be as they were and hes afraid of going back that way. he had tried to tell me he was unhappy with the situation before but did a crap job expressing it. he has issues expressing himself. He is afraid of becoming like his dad, who is the only one who works and his mom stays home. i get that now, and all i can do is make sure that i don't let it get back the way it was, no matter what the outcome turns out to be.

I really hope that however this works out though, that you can keep your head held high and realize that you’ll be fine, with or without, a man in your life. The most important thing is that some day you are able to look yourself in the mirror each day and be ok with what you see. No – not just be ok with what you see, but in the end, be happy with what you see. You need to love yourself before anyone else can truly love you, or you can truly love someone else either. Maybe it won’t happen right away, but it will.

You are absolutely right. I am working on myself now. I am hoping the changes will help us as a couple but i want to be able to stand on my own. I plan to save my own money and make my own way, if thats what it comes to. I am holding onto hope because i really believe he and i have something special and real. yes we screwed it up and we need to work on things, but i believe they can be fixed. at the same time i am preparing in case things go badly. Moving to Florida is not an option for me, i want to stay where my friends are because they are pretty much my family.

So I’m sure I will be of the unpopular opinion, I’m not encouraging you to do whatever it takes to keep your man. Especially if he no longer wants to be kept. I’ll be flamed brutally and the object of other’s anger and possible hatred here, but if I came to my friends with a problem such as yours, I would want them to be brutally honest with me and tell me the things I don’t want to hear. I’d probably want them to enable me and tell me everything’s going to be right and to do whatever it takes to keep my man, but in the long run, I’d want to be encouraged, however harsh it may seem on the surface.

I will offer you hugs and encouragement, but give you a firm “get yourself together woman” as only another woman can. And if KC no longer wants to be with you, then it’s HIS loss, Kat. It’ll feel like your loss for awhile, but in the long run you’ll hopefully get your self respect and self esteem back and figure out that you’ll be fine in the end. With or without KC.

I apologize, I am not here with the brutal intent of hurting your feelings, but trying to give you some food for thought. And to encourage you to start preparing for what’s next. No one that truly loves you and your soul and your spirit, would want you to change. And you should not try to turn yourself inside and out to make someone want to be with you.

You do not need to apologize and you will not get flamed by me! I really appreciate the honesty. I am making changes because I need to make them, because I want to be a better person, be more the person i have wanted to be but lost. For me. I also think that those changes will make all the difference in the way KC sees me. And ultimately he will remember why we were together in the first place.

But, in KC’s defense, and only because I have been there, a marriage is a partnership. And although the luxury of staying home and being a happy housewife would be great. Not everyone can do it. Some not at all. Some not indefinitely. And if he has been asking for your help, as his partner, and as his equal, I’m sure it wasn’t easy for him as a man to admit he needs help. And maybe you’ve been missing subtle hints he’s been trying give you. Maybe they haven’t been so subtle and you haven’t noticed.

But I seem to recall that this isn’t the first time KC’s had this issue and you say you’re going to change, you’re going to pitch in and do your part, and then you’re back to the point of him saying he can’t do this anymore

It’s exhausting, physically and mentally, to be the one supporting the household. And it’s frustrating, infuriating and hurtful when your spouse not only doesn’t seem to care or acknowledge this, but does nothing to help bail out a sinking ship. Again Kat, believe me, I’ve been there. I’ve been the one working and paying the bills and staying up at night trying to figure out where the next mortgage payment is coming from and how I’m going to feed my child while my husband didn’t give a crap.

I probably never mentioned this but Tony and I were very near divorce a few years ago. I was busting my butt for 12 to 15 hours a day and he’d spend the day either sitting on his butt on the couch watching TV all day, or out playing golf or buying tools with money that we didn’t have and not help out at all – either financially or around the house – and it tore us apart. To this day I’m surprised we are where we are. But we had a knock-down, drag out, 2 day fight to get both of our points across and have had to work on our marriage on a daily basis since then. It’s not easy.

I remember being so angry that he cared so little about me, my feelings and whether or not we could keep the utilities on, and despite having told him on numerous occasions “we have no money”, “I had to drain the 401K”, “The credit cards are maxed out – I used them to buy groceries, pay the bills”…he wasn’t hearing it. He was doing what he wanted and paid no attention to me.

Maybe that’s how KC’s been feeling, but it’s legitimate and it’s enough to make someone want out. And fall out of love. Be careful Kat

It's def how he has been feeling. he is at fault for not really expressing how he felt about things. he owns that now. he is working on expressing his feelings more openly. we really are communicating better. i know him so well, and have been reaffirmed in my thinking every time i speak to one of his friends, that he loves me but hates the situation and is unsure what to do but leave. he is also very young (24) and is scared the rest of his life would have been spent being the only one doing anything to hold the family together.

Right now I am doing what I need to do for myself. I am trying to enjoy his company and just have a good time getting along with him. these are all things that i think are going to benefit us in the long run. i want him to see how well we get along.

The only other thing i want to address is the spending days in bed and stuff. I am not depressed. I will not allow myself to be depressed. thats not the kind of person i want to be. i am out and about during the day during the week, staying busy, so i don't sit around and wallow. If days are spent relaxing it's with KC. I am making a huge effort to be more productive in general, to be more social as well. He keeps inviting me places and asking me to do things, after I have specifically expressed he doesn't have to.

I am willing to answer or clear up anything else you or anyone else wants to know. I am glad to have a place to vent all this out. I have been talking up a storm to anyone who will listen , to keep letting things out, aside from the therapist.

LL, no flames here. It took alot of courage to say what I (though I can't speak for any of the other Fockers) was thinking. I love Kat too and I've kept my opinion *Mostly* to myself. (Except about the trampoling...)

You are a good friend for saying the things that she needs to hear. Talking about problems in your marriage is hard for anyone. But, refusing to face reality is going to be WAY harder in the long run for Kat.

Kat: We all LOVE you. We feel for you. We hope for the best. However...I'd like to add something to LL's comments. Sleeping all day (and generally wandering about doing NOTHING all day) is a classic hallmark of depression. I know, I've been there. I realize you don't have insurance but you need to find a therapist (there are lots that do it on a volunteer basis, you just need to find one) and get some help. Whether that help is talk therapy or medicine, I think if you could feel BETTER (about yourself and in general) you'd find this transition easier.

JMHO.

Thanks LL. I've been wanting to say that for a while. You're a really good friend to be so honest.

MEL

I actually really like my therapist. I go in for the first half of the sessions and then KC comes in with me. It's def helping. I may need more therapy if things end up bad but now going there once a week is doing me a lot of good. talking to people is helping too, and its something i am not always good at, and have been making a lot of effort to do- to ask for ears to listen to me.

Kat - You are loved here. And I think we're all generally concerned for you, your physical health and your mental health. We all want to "mama" you, but still "girl-friend" you, KWIM?

I completely agree with LL and Mel. I've been thinking about you for days and really wanting to give you some sound advice. Thanks LL for being so honest. There is NOTHING more important than the power of girlfriends. Honest to goodness, GIRLFRIENDS! Girlfriends who'll hug you when you're down and then give you a good kick into reality. Those are true girlfriends.

Darn tootin!

Kat, LL's killing me with all the fonts, colors and sizes in this thing (LY LL!), but I wanted to pull this out:

THIS is what I tried to say to you initially, but - well - I'm going through some stuff myself right now and I just couldn't get the right words together at the time. Thanks LL, because I really, really think this is critical. Kat, I'm the poster child for this message. When my ex left - and I had NO lead-up, he just was there one day and gone the next - I was left with most of the assets (thank goodness), most of the debt, a part time job, and an 8 month old with pneumonia. I was utterly unprepared to take care of myself, let alone Leo. I plain got lucky with friends and family who helped me financially and a job that happily put me full-time immediately. I can't imagine what would have happened otherwise, and I will NEVER put myself in a position of being completely reliant on another again.

I know I'm not around much lately, but I am thinking of you. Hang in there and take care of YOU.


What I wouldn't do for one of those right now!

I have been offered help by KC and a friend of ours as well but I am set on doing things for myself. The security job is about 95% good and as soon as I get in I am going to start saving. KC offered $ already but I want to know I took care of myself. I don't like that i got so reliant on him, i have never been this way with any other guy before. I plan to fix that tho.

KAT - I'm not sure what is wrong with your back, but I sure feel for you. You just may get some relief from the yoga. My daughter is currently going through severe back pain due to some herniated discs. Although she's getting cortisone injections, it takes forever to schedule them and her neurologist recommended acupuncture. She tried it (at that point she was ready to try anything) and it worked immediately. She actually had the acupressure done. So, I just wanted to put that out there as an option.

I have sciatica and a herniated disk. I am looking fwd to starting the yoga because the teacher(also a friend) has a lot of stretches specifically for me and my back issues.

ITA with this. LL said what I was thinking as well. KC is clearly telling you how he feels about the situation, are you really listening to what he is saying or are you just trying to change his mind. I know you are saying you are trying to change, will that really change the outcome in the long run? Even if his friends think he might change his mind it is ultimately up to him how he feels. I want you to be happy, I want both of you to be happy that might be together or it might be apart, I hope you are preparing yourself for both possible outcomes .

I am def hearing what he is saying. he really believes this is how he feels, but i know deep down its the situation he is unhappy with, not me. if he really wanted to leave he'd have done more to do so. I know him and know he just needs time to see that things can really change and can really becomes better. I need to make the changes regardless of what ends up happening, and i am going full speed ahead with them. I need to know I did the right things for myself, and hopefully ultimately for KC and I as a couple. I am def preparing for both outcomes but holding on to hope that it ends well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I really do love you all, and appreciate the support and love and caring. it truly means the world to me. One way or another I will be ok, I am digging strength out of places I never knew I had. I'll survive one way or another, and it is in part because of my wonderful friends.

Today was a long day. We went to our first yoga class. it was fun, i had to watch but i am looking fwd to the next class. Then we went out to eat. Tomorrow I am headed to a morning shift at work. My BFF comes in just 5 days! There is a lot of prepping to do for that over the next few days, getting the house ready and food bought and what not. And on that note, after this very long winded post I am going to bed! Night all!

 

[CelticBelle]

I think that needs to be the OFFICIAL FOCKER MOTTO!

I agree!

Undoubtedly one of her tupos...
Poor Janet.

I use the cheapest cut of roast I can find! Throw that into the crockpot with some Adobo seasoning, onion, garlic and leave it there until it's falling apart. Shred it up and throw it in some fried corn tortillas and it's a party in your mouth.

Shredded pork? Even better. Put a little oil in the pan and saute that pork until it's warmed up. Throw that into warm corn tortillas, with a little fresh onion and cilantro, fresh salsa and you've got Carnitas taco al carbon! YUM-O!


I'll teach you guys tacos, but you've got to teach me Cheesesteaks and Pierogies (sp?)!

yum... Thanks for the lesson! My families favorite is Chicken Broccolli casserole. Thats one of my only specialties i can think of at the moment. I LOVE new recipes though.

T - you don't have to worry about this Irish Lass messing up making Tacos, I just go to Taco Bell

That was EXACTLY what I was thinking just before I read this. lol Great minds think alike!


Kat- I just wanted you to know I'm here to support you too. May not have any words of wisdom, but your in my thoughts everyday.

I have sciatica and a herniated disk.

I just discovered that I may have sciatica the other day. The past week my leg has just been agonizing. Cant even sleep. Yuk! Any advice?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So tonight Marc and I went to see 9. It was good, but I've never been in a theater with such an annoying crowd! Kids talking in the beginning, then a group came in talking looking fro seats. mumbling throughout the audiance in general. Then a group of teenagers came in 20 minutes late, but half couldnt sit together. The other half walked around to the other side and other set of stairs where it was completely open. Then they turned their phones on and waved at each other to get their attention...right in front of our faces. The kept turning around to get their friends attention and had their arms right in front of marcs legs. Halfway through i swear half the people got up to get popcorn. then 10 minutes later came back. Nothing too major, but soo annoying!

After the movie we walked around frys and then went to panera bread. We got to just sit and talk for a while and that was really nice and relaxing. Walked over to Barnes and Noble and got a few new books. Altogether the night was really fun.

Still trying to decide what to do for my birthday...so far i've proposed a wdw trip and its a maybe. I'm not concerned with planning far ahead since I get my cm discounts. I might be able to get a 50% off dining plan, which is undoubtable worth it. The only breaker is airfare. It adds up to over half the total cost. yuk!

 

[debraW76]

Morning Strangers!!

 

[DisneyJo]

Is this a new school this year, or just a new feiwnd in her class? Play it by ear when you rake her over!

New friend in new class in new school and I don't think her Mum would like it if I raked her over I'm sorry Janet but it makes a nice change for someone else to be picked on

The snacks went over very well! Still wish you all could have joined me, though.

So did you have fun?

Well since Janet is showing enough maturity for both of us, I'm going to throw a tantrum because I don't want to go home tomorrow

Awwww Safe journey home!

Do you think you'll do OK at WDW?

What with walking the 5K? I walk loads every week, our average walk is about 4 miles plus I walk tons on the golf course

I let her know there were a lot of people she didn’t even know pulling for her and she nodded. So keep it up, please!

That's good to hear

I really do love you all, and appreciate the support and love and caring. it truly means the world to me. One way or another I will be ok, I am digging strength out of places I never knew I had. I'll survive one way or another, and it is in part because of my wonderful friends.

Sounds as though you're going in the right direction Kat

So tonight Marc and I went to see 9. It was good, but I've never been in a theater with such an annoying crowd!

Sounds like a nightmare! Did you ever hear about the CM job????

Morning Strangers!!

Hey you I was wondering where you'd been


I had an email a little while ago from my friend and neighbour, her Dad died suddenly yesterday, he was only in his 60's and was found dead on the sofa watching TV She is devastated as it was so sudden and the fact the police didn't tell her Her hubbie is a policeman and is not impressed!

On better news TSM for the Wii just arrived bad news is the girls hadn't charged the remotes so we can't play yet Oh and I'm bagsying first go

 

[sorul82?]

Kat and everyone else....especially those of us who are SAHM or work very little:

Do you have life insurance? If you don't, get it now...not I'll get to it, or it's too expensive, or whatever reason. I'm guilty of procrastinating as well. We just got a term life policy for my 36 year old non smoking DH for $34 per month and $53 per month for me, 38 and non smoking. Both policies are $500,000 and 20 year term. There are lots of other options.

 

[Lauralee131]

Tonight I'm making green chili enchiladas, fideo, and calabasitas. YUMMY! I feeling very in touch with my browness today! Aiiiiyaaayayaya!!!!! Arribbbbaaa!!!!

Ooh Tish...you spoke...Spanish!!

I loved the Adams Family

Dude, that's a lot of espanol.....how much you been drinking?

Oh and I'm bagsying first go

Ummm....Jo? I'll bite. What the heck is bagsying??


And Kat:

 

[HomeschoolMama]

OMGosh! I LOVE him!!!

Morning Strangers!!

We've missed you!

So tonight Marc and I went to see 9. It was good, but I've never been in a theater with such an annoying crowd! Kids talking in the beginning, then a group came in talking looking fro seats. mumbling throughout the audiance in general. Then a group of teenagers came in 20 minutes late, but half couldnt sit together. The other half walked around to the other side and other set of stairs where it was completely open. Then they turned their phones on and waved at each other to get their attention...right in front of our faces. The kept turning around to get their friends attention and had their arms right in front of marcs legs. Halfway through i swear half the people got up to get popcorn. then 10 minutes later came back. Nothing too major, but soo annoying!

After the movie we walked around frys and then went to panera bread. We got to just sit and talk for a while and that was really nice and relaxing. Walked over to Barnes and Noble and got a few new books. Altogether the night was really fun.

Sorry about the bad manners at the movies. I'm glad you had a nice night, though. That's what I'm looking forward to on our trip- a little time alone.

On better news TSM for the Wii just arrived bad news is the girls hadn't charged the remotes so we can't play yet Oh and I'm bagsying first go

What the heck does that mean?!

Kat and everyone else....especially those of us who are SAHM or work very little:

Do you have life insurance? If you don't, get it now...not I'll get to it, or it's too expensive, or whatever reason. I'm guilty of procrastinating as well. We just got a term life policy for my 36 year old non smoking DH for $34 per month and $53 per month for me, 38 and non smoking. Both policies are $500,000 and 20 year term. There are lots of other options.

You're so right. It's something I've put off since I started staying home.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Man, there's so much to do this weekend, I hope I can get to Monday morning without any more grey hairs! We need to talk about our trip and figure a few things out & pack. We also need to get the chores done so we can come home to a clean house. A has his first soccer game this afternoon too.

B has a couple of squad practices she could go to, but she twisted her ankle this week and I'm making her stay off it. She's not happy about it, but I'm thinking of her long term wellness, so she'll have to get over it.

My friend's baby is happy and healthy. He's so perfectly round and pink. I have meals set up for her until we get back, so at least that's done.

Now I get to try and get K up. He thinks the weekends are for sleeping until 10 while the kids and I wonder if he'll ever get up. We have too much to do this weekend for sleeping, soldier!