Teachers: Lying?

[Eeyores Butterfly]

The last two weeks I have had a huge problem in my room with lying. In particular, telling stories that are not true. I've had kids tell me everything from their mom worked to Disney, to their dad is in jail, to their grandfather is dead. I've also had a huge increase in lying to get other people in trouble, or themselves out of trouble. I'm sure I know the cause. I have a new student in my room that has a tendency to tell some real whoppers, and now the others are following suit.

I'm going to be doing some life skills lessons on lying vs. the truth and have wondered what has worked well for teachers in the past.

One lesson we're doing tomorrow is practicing telling stories that are true. We are going to talk about hte difference between real and make believe. Then we're going to practice going around the circle and telling a true story. We are also goign to talk about the consequences of lying.

On another lesson, the kids will have a chance to practice their conversation skills with each other and with a teacher. We will be making sure that they are telling stories that are true. I've informed the paras that if we start hearing a story that we know is not true, we will gently say, "I'm sorry, but I won't listen to stories." The worst offender will have a behavior sheet.

Any other ideas or suggestions? I really want to nip this in the bud, it's gotten to the point that I only have one student that I can believe. Thanks in advance.

 

[nskjerven]

could you maybe spin this is other way? How about telling Whopper stories and make them so funny that the kids laugh and learn.

I just don't love the idea of negitive reinforcement of dinging those that lie

FWIW I really hate it when kids lie too, big pet peeve of mine but it is an age related issue most of the time (unless they don't out grow it)

Good luck

 

[Mickey's Minion]

The last two weeks I have had a huge problem in my room with lying. In particular, telling stories that are not true. I've had kids tell me everything from their mom worked to Disney, to their dad is in jail, to their grandfather is dead. I've also had a huge increase in lying to get other people in trouble, or themselves out of trouble. I'm sure I know the cause. I have a new student in my room that has a tendency to tell some real whoppers, and now the others are following suit.

I'm going to be doing some life skills lessons on lying vs. the truth and have wondered what has worked well for teachers in the past.

One lesson we're doing tomorrow is practicing telling stories that are true. We are going to talk about hte difference between real and make believe. Then we're going to practice going around the circle and telling a true story. We are also goign to talk about the consequences of lying.

On another lesson, the kids will have a chance to practice their conversation skills with each other and with a teacher. We will be making sure that they are telling stories that are true. I've informed the paras that if we start hearing a story that we know is not true, we will gently say, "I'm sorry, but I won't listen to stories." The worst offender will have a behavior sheet.

Any other ideas or suggestions? I really want to nip this in the bud, it's gotten to the point that I only have one student that I can believe. Thanks in advance.

Before you accuse the child of lying, I would definitely do everything to check to see if it really is a whopper. I wouldn't just assume, just because it doesn't seem plausible, that it really is a lie.

I know of a child who told a story about what they did over spring break. It was so over the top for the dynamics of the neighborhood that the teacher accused this child of lying. She called the parents in to discuss his lying and lo-and-behold, it actually did happen.

The parents were pissed that their child had been falsely accused and the teacher had egg on her face for not doing her research. So, no matter how bizarre the story, there is always the possibility it is true.

 

[happygirl]

Before you accuse the child of lying, I would definitely do everything to check to see if it really is a whopper. I wouldn't just assume, just because it doesn't seem plausible, that it really is a lie.

I know of a child who told a story about what they did over spring break. It was so over the top for the dynamics of the neighborhood that the teacher accused this child of lying. She called the parents in to discuss his lying and lo-and-behold, it actually did happen.

The parents were pissed that their child had been falsely accused and the teacher had egg on her face for not doing her research. So, no matter how bizarre the story, there is always the possibility it is true.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

I definitely give the kids the benefit of the doubt, but trust me when I say that nine times out of ten we know it is a lie. We know our families and students very well. If there is any doubt I will fact check before doing anything. But please trust me when I say that we know that this has become a huge issue and that one student in particular has had a huge problem with this.

ETA: Some examples:
-kid says mom is a cop- mom is unemployed and has told us this herself. At no point has she ever been a cop (again, straight from the mom).
-kid says dad is in jail. I called the mom to get the story, the dad was sitting right across from her. They were very surprised to get that call.
-kid says that grandpa is dead. Told this to my paras Friday. Today he and I talked. I asked him if anybody in his family had died. Answer was no. I asked if grandpa was okay. He said, "Oh, my dad's grandpa? My brother (a 2 year old) told me he died." I asked him if his parents told him .Answer was no. I asked him if he asked them about it. Answer was no. I asked him if he believed it. Answer was no.

We've had kids flat out lying about incidents that we have observed with our own eyes. We are only addressing it when we know for a fact it is a lie.

 

[SOnotLayuh]

I may have just totally glazed over this, but what level of kids do you teach?

 

[LuvOrlando]

Some kids just like to make a story more interesting. My DS used to do this but instead of telling him I thought he was a liar I did something different. I told him that while I love his stories it is very important for a story teller to let the listener know the story has moved from real to pretend. This is important because otherwise his friends will stop listening to a really good story and just call him a liar. I gave my DS a canned segue for this sort of thing. AS he's telling the real story he could interject with , "and then I thought it would have been so much cooler if xxxxx had picked up a yyyyyyyyyy and zzzzzzzzzz" or "I wish aaaaaaa and bbbbbbbb did ---------------. Tada! Good story goes south into boring but is saved with a lively imagination.

 

[Sinderelli]

My 1st graders have a tendency to tell stories, also. I use the story of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf"- we discuss why no one believed the boy and the ramifications of lying. This worked well with my DS when he was going through his lying phase.

 

[funkychunkymonkey]

subbing. I teach preschooler and were having this same problem lately. Half my kids went to disney last night....

 

[MM27]

Many kids do it just for the attention. They haven't discovered yet that people will be able to see through the lies, especially if they do it a lot. I had a girl one year that had something to tell me every time we had a class discussion. It got to the point that the other kids would get annoyed whenever I called on her because they knew what was coming.

This year I have a boy that lies, but I can read him like a book. If you ask him if he is being honest, and he's not, he avoids eye contact. Told me one day that his older brother died. He swore up and down as I questioned him. I explained to him that during my lunch period I was going to call his mother to offer my sympathies. I asked him one more time if he was being honest by saying, "Will your mother know what I'm talking about?" There is no brother. He is the only boy out of 5 children.

 

[debbi801]

Before you accuse the child of lying, I would definitely do everything to check to see if it really is a whopper. I wouldn't just assume, just because it doesn't seem plausible, that it really is a lie.

I know of a child who told a story about what they did over spring break. It was so over the top for the dynamics of the neighborhood that the teacher accused this child of lying. She called the parents in to discuss his lying and lo-and-behold, it actually did happen.

The parents were pissed that their child had been falsely accused and the teacher had egg on her face for not doing her research. So, no matter how bizarre the story, there is always the possibility it is true.

This. My kids were related (by marriage) to someone big in the music industry and my son mentioned it in class. He got in trouble and the teacher called us in for a conference about his lying. She was mortified to find out that he had been telling the truth.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

Like I said, we know that these kids are lying. Several parents even brought it up as a concern at conferences. As much as I can I give them the benefit of the doubt, but when we know without a doubt it is a lie, we want to address it.

I really like the idea of reading the boy who cried wolf. I think that sounds like a great way to get the point across. Another thing I was thinking about is giving them some time in the mornings to come and talk to one of the adults and tell us how their day/weekend/break went. (We do this informally, but maybe make it formal.) That way they are still getting our attention, but hopefully without the story.

We are also doing some life skills lessons in problem solving based on a pd we had at school yesterday. I definitely see a lot of it in situations when the kid is in trouble as a tactic for deflecting or getting out of it. I even had a teacher approach me yesterday about one of my students lying to her in after school about a threat made to other students (there were many witnesses).

I just want to reiterate, we always give the kids hte benefit of the doubt. When I had the issue of one of my students threatening another student, I went to our behavior interventionist to ask him who he would believe since we were getting two different stories. Even though my student had lied to me in the past, I didn't want to accuse him if he was being truthful. Eventually the truth came out and he admitted to lying to us about the incident. There have been many times I have suspected they are lying but have not said anything because I do not want to accuse them if they are not.

 

[turkeymama]

My DD is in 3rd grade with a late birthday. She has told some real doozies this year, enough that the teacher called to let me know it was happening. I bought her a journal and gave her free-reign to write whatever she wants in there. The only exception is that she can't write blatantly mean things about people in there. It seems to be working for her.

Maybe the class needs a few creative writing assignments that are just for fun?

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

That might work with some of my older students. Unfortunatley I only have two students who could even consider a journal. (most of my kids are in the prewriting stage.)

 

[mickeyboat]

Personally I would read the boy who cried wolf story, talk about it for a short time, and then let it go. These seem like pretty young kids, and I am pretty sure this is a normal developmental stage. I am not sure it is worth making a huge deal out of it. If a kid is looking for attention by telling a fish story, even negative attention is a reward. It seems like ignoring it would be a more effective strategy than punishment.

Maybe when someone tells a whopper that you know is not true, say "that's nice" and move on. When someone tells a story that you believe to be true, ask questions about it and give them some positive attention. It won't take long for the kids to understand that telling these kinds of lies is not going to get them anywhere.