Teachers have any of you had bad PARENTS?

[princessmom29]

OMG, this is too good not to quote.

and you have never, ever made a typo on a TINY touchscreen phone keyboard? EVER? I cannot believe a grownup would be that petty. From a 16 year old, I might expect that kind of behavior.

Couple the tiny keyboad with the fact that I am dyslexic and, it happens. So shoot me. OMG, I made a typo. Whatever shall I do? Should I have my teaching cert pulled now, or would you like to do it for me?

I still want to know why it is fine and dandy to bash teachers, but let the shoe be on the other foot and suddenly the thread should be immediately closed.

 

[Coconut36]

Really? I've got two straight A students, and I've had no communication at all with several teachers. My older dd won the junior high school award for all around scholarship and community involvement last year. I never talked to three quarters of her teachers. There really was no need. Does that make me a horrible parent?

My dh, who is a public high school teacher didn't feel the need to contact her teachers, either.

As a pp pointed out it is most likely the poster you quoted was talking about situations where the parents should be in contact but are not. Where the kid is obviously struggling or obviously needs additional assistance but is not getting it outside of school. Situations where the teacher reaches out with concerns or questions and receives no response back or has a parent that clearly is not interested in being remotely involved or helping their child.

Not where the child is doing wonderfully and there is no need for parents/teachers to really speak.

 

[HsvTeacher]

My comments in red.

Originally Posted by HsvTeacher

My comments are in blue:

Hardly a fair comparison...Perfectly fair. She has an issue with whom she serves. It certainly is something to consider when one chooses their profession. Unless there are teachers who NEVER have to deal with parents. It is something to consider, but many parents are becoming harder to deal with as the years pass. I have 16 years as a teacher to back up this claim, 19 if you want to count up the years I was an aide. (And my students and their educations are my priority, not making parents love me.)

I'm sure she gives a lot of parents the "benefit of the doubt,"Really? Has she spoken with the kids or the parents to see how they might treat their pets? as you told me you give teachers the benefit of the doubt (most of the time) in another thread.Sure--I also don't go around saying MOST TEACHERS I KNOW....and then say something bad. Blanket statements like that are nothing more than hyperbole. And parents here on the DIS don't make broad, sweeping generalizations about teachers? On the other hand, how do you know the OP doesn't work in a bad area? I didn't dispute that--I would say "unless"...and I am sure if that was important, she would have mentioned it. She wants to parent bash and nothing more.When I first started teaching, I worked in one of the worst schools in the city, and no, I wouldn't have wanted those parents to watch my dogs, either.I have had friends who have taught in such areas. They didn't parent bash. They had compassion for the children and understood that some areas are just rough. But you wouldn't ever hear them say "I wouldn't trust them to watch a dog..." Well, let's see, I've had parents that couldn't be bothered to take care of their kids because they were either too stoned, strung out, or drunk. No, I wouldn't want those people around anything I loved. Did I treat my students with anything other than love and understanding? Absolutely not! It's not their fault that their parents are idiots.

If I recall correctly, you homeschool, right? What if every teacher on the DIS started bashing homeschooling parents by starting threads on pretty much a daily basis? After awhile, would it wear you down?Nope. Because I would know that statistics doesn't back up their ignorance if they chose to generalize in that manner. I also don't play homeschooling martyr and get irritated with those who do.

I usually either skip the teacher threads, however, today has been one of those days when I did have to deal with an irrational parent. That is fine--I never said that people don't have moments where they encounter irrational people. It is when you use that irrational moment to characterize an entire group that would make one wonder why (general) you remains in a profession that causes such grief. I remain in teaching because I love what I do: teaching kids. I just don't like dealing with irrational parents. He decided that because my principal made a safety-related decision regarding a field trip that he had the right to call our secretary and me every name in the book. He was nasty and belligerent, but because he was a parent, he got a pass on his behavior. If I had acted as he did, I would have been fired.I know that folks don't like education to be termed like a business, but this is one of those "customer is always right" moments. They may be totally in the wrong. As the professional, your boss holds you to a higher standard. In retail, I would not be permitted either. However, if the behavior was abusive, we could at least kick them out of the store. I'm, not sure why he gets a "pass" though. Do you mean that he gets a "pass" because you can't rebut, or he gets a "pass" because the school lets him dish while you must take it until he is finished dishing? I consider my business to be educating students. However, I don't always believe the customer is always right. I can't tell you how many times I've had to listen to a parent berate me, humiliate me, etc. only for them to come back later and tell me that I was completely right and knew what I was doing. It doesn't make it hurt any less, though. And no, parents don't get kicked out for being abusive toward teachers. They have to threaten to hurt us or kills us before anything is done. (We don't want to upset our stakeholders.) We're expecting to stand there and take it, which I did today. That is what I meant by his getting a pass.

I guess we'll have to agree to disagree. As far as I know, you've never been in my profession so I don't know why I should expect you to understand my point of view and thoughts on the matter.

 

[princessmom29]

As a pp pointed out it is most likely the poster you quoted was talking about situations where the parents should be in contact but are not. Where the kid is obviously struggling or obviously needs additional assistance but is not getting it outside of school. Situations where the teacher reaches out with concerns or questions and receives no response back or has a parent that clearly is not interested in being remotely involved or helping their child.

Not where the child is doing wonderfully and there is no need for parents/teachers to really speak.

I think this is the situation that the PPwas commenting on as well. I have several parents every year that put down false phone numbers on thier enrollment materials so that the school has no means to contact them when thier child is in trouble or having difficulties with the material. Ibelieve this is the kind of thing that the PP was addressing, not a parent whose child is doing well.

 

[poohs_hunny]

Does the one who kept me after school for an hour long conference on a Friday because her son got an 89 on a report card count?

Ooh, I can beat that!

On the last day of school last June, I sent home report cards as usual (3rd grade). Fast forward to this September. The day after Open House, my principal (new to the job this year) sends me an e-mail that one of my students' mothers from LAST YEAR wondered why her daughter's grade had gone from an A to a B-. He didn't even know in what subject. So I pull out my trusty grade book from last year and a copy of the student's report card. I discover that the grade in question was in science and did not go from an A to a B-, but from an A- to a B+. What's the difference between an A- and a B+? ONE POINT. I tell my principal all of this, and he says he'll call the mother but we may have to set up a meeting to discuss it. Um, to discuss what?? This grade was from 3 months ago, that child is not my student anymore, and she EARNED that grade. Luckily, no meeting was ever necessary. Now, to be fair, this mother was not nasty or rude, but really, 3 months later for one point?

 

[DawnM]

The best assignments I have ever had were Federal Grant positions. One was a program to help students who were potential first generation college bound students. The other was a program called Beyond the Bell, overseeing students who were performing in the lowest 20% of standardized testing.

Not only were those two jobs the most rewarding but the parents were so thankful and grateful for the services provided that I almost never ran into demanding or angry parents.

 

[princessmom29]

My comments in red.

The big difference between school and a retail setting is we have NO ability to "kick them out of the store". As teachers, unless a parent becomes violent or makes threats, we have to take whatever it is they choose to dish out with a smile on our face and a professional response. It doesn't matter how irrational or nasty they get. In some schools it also means that you end up having to cave to thier demands if they cannot be pacified. Fortunately, in my school policy is policy, and they are told to take it up with the school baord if they do not like the resolution on a school level. Not all schools are like that. In some places, especially with new, untenured administration, these parents can get what they want if they make enough of a fuss. That is why it continues to happen.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Originally Posted by HsvTeacher

My comments are in blue:

Hardly a fair comparison...Perfectly fair. She has an issue with whom she serves. It certainly is something to consider when one chooses their profession. Unless there are teachers who NEVER have to deal with parents. It is something to consider, but many parents are becoming harder to deal with as the years pass. I have 16 years as a teacher to back up this claim, 19 if you want to count up the years I was an aide. (And my students and their educations are my priority, not making parents love me.) Some time ago, pre-children...I had considered going into teaching by pursuing the Master's program (I think--one where you already have a Bachelor's but want to go into education). Anyway, I had met someone who was a 4th grade teacher. She ended up leaving the profession and becoming a flight attendant and many of her comments made it clear that it probably wasn't a good career choice for me.

I'm sure she gives a lot of parents the "benefit of the doubt,"Really? Has she spoken with the kids or the parents to see how they might treat their pets? as you told me you give teachers the benefit of the doubt (most of the time) in another thread.Sure--I also don't go around saying MOST TEACHERS I KNOW....and then say something bad. Blanket statements like that are nothing more than hyperbole. And parents here on the DIS don't make broad, sweeping generalizations about teachers? On the other hand, how do you know the OP doesn't work in a bad area? I didn't dispute that--I would say "unless"...and I am sure if that was important, she would have mentioned it. She wants to parent bash and nothing more.When I first started teaching, I worked in one of the worst schools in the city, and no, I wouldn't have wanted those parents to watch my dogs, either.I have had friends who have taught in such areas. They didn't parent bash. They had compassion for the children and understood that some areas are just rough. But you wouldn't ever hear them say "I wouldn't trust them to watch a dog..." Well, let's see, I've had parents that couldn't be bothered to take care of their kids because they were either too stoned, strung out, or drunk. No, I wouldn't want those people around anything I loved. Did I treat my students with anything other than love and understanding? Absolutely not! It's not their fault that their parents are idiots.Fair enough. But do you characterize all parents as potential drunks/druggies? That was my point.

If I recall correctly, you homeschool, right? What if every teacher on the DIS started bashing homeschooling parents by starting threads on pretty much a daily basis? After awhile, would it wear you down?Nope. Because I would know that statistics doesn't back up their ignorance if they chose to generalize in that manner. I also don't play homeschooling martyr and get irritated with those who do.

I usually either skip the teacher threads, however, today has been one of those days when I did have to deal with an irrational parent. That is fine--I never said that people don't have moments where they encounter irrational people. It is when you use that irrational moment to characterize an entire group that would make one wonder why (general) you remains in a profession that causes such grief. I remain in teaching because I love what I do: teaching kids. I just don't like dealing with irrational parents. He decided that because my principal made a safety-related decision regarding a field trip that he had the right to call our secretary and me every name in the book. He was nasty and belligerent, but because he was a parent, he got a pass on his behavior. If I had acted as he did, I would have been fired.I know that folks don't like education to be termed like a business, but this is one of those "customer is always right" moments. They may be totally in the wrong. As the professional, your boss holds you to a higher standard. In retail, I would not be permitted either. However, if the behavior was abusive, we could at least kick them out of the store. I'm, not sure why he gets a "pass" though. Do you mean that he gets a "pass" because you can't rebut, or he gets a "pass" because the school lets him dish while you must take it until he is finished dishing? I consider my business to be educating students. However, I don't always believe the customer is always right. I can't tell you how many times I've had to listen to a parent berate me, humiliate me, etc. only for them to come back later and tell me that I was completely right and knew what I was doing. It doesn't make it hurt any less, though. And no, parents don't get kicked out for being abusive toward teachers. They have to threaten to hurt us or kills us before anything is done. (We don't want to upset our stakeholders.) We're expecting to stand there and take it, which I did today. That is what I meant by his getting a pass. Neither do I--but I was referring to what your superiors expect. Sucks if they can be verbally abusive and you just have to listen to it. I would not have the patience for that. Are you working in a private school. (stakeholders?)

I guess we'll have to agree to disagree. As far as I know, you've never been in my profession so I don't know why I should expect you to understand my point of view and thoughts on the matter.No, but to an extent, I am in the population which your POV is talking about. Teachers/teacher supporters get bothered when parents are upset by something. They assume--at least on the "teacher" threads on the DIS that the poster is automatically being irrational because they are a parent and blah blah blah. You will get a few teachers that acknowledge that the OP might have the case. Regardless, a rebuttal parent bashing thread pops up.

One last thing I will ask--do you ever acknowledge on ANY of the "teacher bashing threads" that the OP might actually have a legitimate issue? Or are you one of the posters who will post something along the lines of "teacher jobs would be easier if..."

I get the vibe on these rebuttal "not bashing, even though I am bashing" parent threads that it is "us" against "them". And that, I will never truly understand. (And this is pretty much regarding any profession.)

 

[Disney Doll]

Oh please, that is exactly what you are doing. I feel sorry for the children you teach if you hold this much animosity towards the parents.

I feel the mods should just close this thread immediately, no good can come of it.

And yet I never recall you immediately requesting the shutting down of the myriad of teacher-bashing threads that appear on the DIS on a weeekly basis.

I find that rather interesting.

And no, I'm not a teacher. I'm a nurse.

 

[sparklynails23]

Don't the online grade programs make it easier for parents to keep track of their kids grades and understand why and when there are problems? Or do the online systems just give more opportunities for needed explanations, e.g., instead of every quarter seeing a grade, the parents see them every day?

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

The big difference between school and a retail setting is we have NO ability to "kick them out of the store". As teachers, unless a parent becomes violent or makes threats, we have to take whatever it is they choose to dish out with a smile on our face and a professional response. It doesn't matter how irrational or nasty they get. In some schools it also means that you end up having to cave to thier demands if they cannot be pacified. Fortunately, in my school policy is policy, and they are told to take it up with the school baord if they do not like the resolution on a school level. Not all schools are like that. In some places, especially with new, untenured administration, these parents can get what they want if they make enough of a fuss. That is why it continues to happen.

True, but in the original quote, she said she couldn't respond back. In retail, we aren't allowed to either. We have to have a professional response as well. And we can't just kick them out--but it is a blessing that if it does elevate, management will.

But have you ever seen in ANY profession where someone is "dishing it" that the professional was permitted to "dish it" back? Someone unhappy with the return policy at Christmas cusses out the cashier at Target.

Have you ever seen where an employee would get away with reciprocating that conduct?

Teachers aren't the only one who have to remain professional in their professions.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

And yet I never recall you immediately requesting the shutting down of the myriad of teacher-bashing threads that appear on the DIS on a weeekly basis.

I find that rather interesting.

And no, I'm not a teacher. I'm a nurse.

Where are the "Parents--tell us about your BAD teacher" threads that pop up weekly?

And I don't count where someone posts a SPECIFIC issue over a SPECIFIC incident.

 

[Boston Tea Party]

Ooh, I can beat that!

On the last day of school last June, I sent home report cards as usual (3rd grade). Fast forward to this September. The day after Open House, my principal (new to the job this year) sends me an e-mail that one of my students' mothers from LAST YEAR wondered why her daughter's grade had gone from an A to a B-. He didn't even know in what subject. So I pull out my trusty grade book from last year and a copy of the student's report card. I discover that the grade in question was in science and did not go from an A to a B-, but from an A- to a B+. What's the difference between an A- and a B+? ONE POINT. I tell my principal all of this, and he says he'll call the mother but we may have to set up a meeting to discuss it. Um, to discuss what?? This grade was from 3 months ago, that child is not my student anymore, and she EARNED that grade. Luckily, no meeting was ever necessary. Now, to be fair, this mother was not nasty or rude, but really, 3 months later for one point?

You win!

 

[Coconut36]

Don't the online grade programs make it easier for parents to keep track of their kids grades and understand why and when there are problems? Or do the online systems just give more opportunities for needed explanations, e.g., instead of every quarter seeing a grade, the parents see them every day?

Yes and no. If they actually utilize them they can really help a parent be aware of what is going on (as needed)..but they can also lead to a phone call or email every time the teacher enters a grade demanding a detailed explanation as to why Susie got a 75 and not a 100..so it is both a help and hindrance depending on the parent and how the utilize the data.

 

[sparklynails23]

Yes and no. If they actually utilize them they can really help a parent be aware of what is going on (as needed)..but they can also lead to a phone call or email every time the teacher enters a grade demanding a detailed explanation as to why Susie got a 75 and not a 100..so it is both a help and hindrance depending on the parent and how the utilize the data.

"They" utilize the data. We don't want to have to take away your teaching cert. J/K. Do you think the online stuff is more a help than a hindrance? I don't know either of my kids' teachers' phone numbers. I might have half of the e-mail addresses, but I would hesitate to even try to contact the rest. Maybe you (or someone else) could tell me how to use the "Classroll" system to contact teachers. I could e-mail either compliments or criticisms each day, depending on the grades.

 

[Coconut36]

"They" utilize the data. We don't want to have to take away your teaching cert. J/K. Do you think the online stuff is more a help than a hindrance? I don't know either of my kids' teachers' phone numbers. I might have half of the e-mail addresses, but I would hesitate to even try to contact the rest. Maybe you (or someone else) could tell me how to use the "Classroll" system to contact teachers. I could e-mail either compliments or criticisms each day, depending on the grades.

Feel free..I'm not a teacher I am simply the wife and child of teachers. I also consider message board writings quite casual and rarely proofread my text.

I really think it just depends on how parents use it and what they hope to get out of it.

Our system is different but for each class it lists the teacher's name and is a hyperlink you can click on that will generate and email form so you can contact them. Our school (and district) has a list online of all teachers names, emails and phone numbers so parents can contact them if necessary (and most send home a "welcome" form at the start of the year with phone and email info).

 

[lisateaches]

How is this? I've called a parent over 30 times this year, including at work. His son is reading on a beginning first grade level- he's in fourth. He has stolen things from me and bullies others. I even talked to the dad's boss about having him get a hold of me. He FINALLY called me and set up a meeting after school on a Friday. I'm still waiting. He never showed. He didn't show up for parent conferences either.

On the other hand, at conferences I had a parent show up that, in my opinion, was clearly a meth user. She had black holes in her teeth and sores all up and down her arms. I was afraid to breath and blow her over, she was so thin. BUT I thought, you know what? She is HERE at her son's conference. Maybe this is or isn't a meth problem, but she's here.

She came up to school yesterday because she heard we will feed the parents free breakfast. My heart broke.

 

[dogluva]

I don't understand the point of this post. OP, you know as a teacher that there are good parents and good teachers. There are also bad teachers and bad parents. Why start a thread over it? It is just like in any profession. I agree, it may be just to stir things up.

 

[olwyngdh]

I *wish* our new school district had Ed-line! I swear I got spoiled in VA! I could look at the grades when the teacher loaded them, see what my child was missing/dropping in/excelling in, and work on it with her at home or reward her for doing better in something she had had problems with in the past. It was wonderful! I miss that.

I also miss grades--they have a 1-5 thing here that "doesn't corrospond to traditional letter grades" and I don't understand it at all! I guess if it were what you were used to, it would make sense, but having had years of experience with traditional letter grades, I am lost trying to figure this out. Do any of you use this system? Can you explain it? Can you explain how I, as a parent, am supposed to use it to reward, encourage, assist in my childs education and development? The handout they have in line says that if they go down a number from one grading period to the next doesn't mean that they are doing worse, if they go up it doesn't mean they are doing better--and I am completely lost. Communication between school and parents here isn't as good as it was in VA (I actually got an robo-call from the principal of a different elementary school last night about something at that school, but I have got no calls from my daughter's school--I will be calling Monday morning to get that straightened out), and as a parent that has been encouraged to have an active involvement in my child's education, I am at a complete loss here. Please, teachers, help me!

 

[HsvTeacher]

One last thing I will ask--do you ever acknowledge on ANY of the "teacher bashing threads" that the OP might actually have a legitimate issue? Or are you one of the posters who will post something along the lines of "teacher jobs would be easier if..."

I get the vibe on these rebuttal "not bashing, even though I am bashing" parent threads that it is "us" against "them". And that, I will never truly understand. (And this is pretty much regarding any profession.)

No, I acknowledge that there are times when teachers handle situations in the wrong way. It happens all the time because we are human. (By the way, since you asked, I teach in a public school. My DH is part of administration in a public school, as well.)

However, on the DIS, there seems to be an abundance of parents who are oversensitive when it comes to their children and think the world is out to get them. The vast majority of teachers are teachers because they love children and want to help them and educate them. It just gets very frustrating when almost every day there is a new thread about how a teacher did little Johnny wrong.

True, but in the original quote, she said she couldn't respond back. In retail, we aren't allowed to either. We have to have a professional response as well. And we can't just kick them out--but it is a blessing that if it does elevate, management will.

But have you ever seen in ANY profession where someone is "dishing it" that the professional was permitted to "dish it" back? Someone unhappy with the return policy at Christmas cusses out the cashier at Target.

Have you ever seen where an employee would get away with reciprocating that conduct?

Teachers aren't the only one who have to remain professional in their professions.

I worked retail for several years while I was going to college, and I was never treated the way I am now. If a customer became belligerent, we could ask them to leave, and if that didn't work, security would escort them out of the store. It doesn't work that way in a school.

Like I said earlier, as well as another poster, we can call the police if they threaten us or become violent with us. They are also still allowed to be around us after that because their child is still in our school.

Only once in my career have I ever seen a parent banned from the school. He hit a female teacher, as well as a female principal. He also threatened to blow up the entire school so we'd all be killed.

Where are the "Parents--tell us about your BAD teacher" threads that pop up weekly?

And I don't count where someone posts a SPECIFIC issue over a SPECIFIC incident.

Funny, I read threads pretty much on a daily basis that turn into teacher-bashing threads. Hmmm...the one that a poster called for a teacher's dismissal comes to mind, and I know you know about that one. Even the "tell me how great your teachers were" threads turn negative. I don't see that happening for any other profession, and I'm not sure why you wouldn't count those threads that aren't about SPECIFIC incidents.