Teacher Phone Calls

[FlightlessDuck]

Most teachers in the elementary school give out their home numbers.

I've never seen that in my kids' school, and I wouldn't expect it.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

OP- I hate to say it but I think as a parent you have to suck it up and do whatever it takes to be home for that phone call if it is important. It has nothing to do with public/private school. The teacher gave two windows of time and you can't find 15 minutes ever in those windows?
You mentioned that you can't leave your child unattended in a room for 10-15 minutes ever and I can't even imagine how difficult it must be but I have to ask- how do you use the bathroom/shower/do the laundry etc?

 

[MSMomTJ]

I am a former elementary special ed teacher who now teaches regular ed in middle school.

You ask if it is unreasonable to expect the teacher to call you at a time other than what is designated at times she is available, and my answer is yes, it is unreasonable to expect that.

When I have a parent call me, I return the phone call. If I do not reach the parent, I leave a message if possible. It is now up to the parent to call me back, and I do not try again. If I can not leave a message, I will try one more time during my available time. If a parent really wants to reach me, he/she will do what it takes to reach me. Just the same, if I really need to reach a parent, I will do what it takes -- more phone calls, notes, emails, etc.

I tell the parents at the beginning of the year that I will get back to them quickly via email, but if they would like to speak to me on the phone, then I will get back to them within 24 hours. Depending on when they call and what I have gone on that day, I make take the full 24 hours.

Married with children, married without, single with kids, single without -- when I am home, it is MY time, not my students or their parents' time.

My advice is this: You must call and schedule a conference with the teacher, principal, and any other staff who work with your child. You said that you need to talk to them because something will happen that shows that they don't understand some things about your child. They can not be proactive if you do not fully explain your child's situation. Wouldn't it be better for your child if you met with the personnel and thoroughly explain his needs and how they should handle different situations? Then they will be ready to deal with the situations when they happen, not after you manage to get them on the phone after the incident.

In my regular classroom, I had a student who occasionally had seizures at night. He'd never had one at school or even during waking hours. His mom still personally met with me (and all of his others teachers individually) at the beginning of the school year and gave me information on seizures - how they happen, why they happen & how to react when someone has one - and her phone number so that I could call her as soon as I had taken care of him. She did not assume that I understood or had any experience with seizures -- she made sure that I had all the knowledge I did to deal with her child's special issue....and then she never had to worry about whether or not I would take care of her child.

Call the principal and tell him that your child has some special needs, and you feel you need to explain more about those needs because of some things that have happened. Ask if you could please come in and talk to all his teachers (music, library, etc.) and the principal so you can give them some information that will help them take care of your child. (In my school, the principal would set up the meeting for a few days later either right after school or during the school day. The teachers would have time to change their after school schedules, and the principal would take care of covering their classes for a meeting during the day.) In the meeting, tell them that there are times when you may want to discuss an incident before your child comes back to school. Together, you can come up with a plan of action for that.

I guarantee you that the teacher is willing to work with you and will be glad to have all the information you can give her about your child's needs.

 

[MM27]

The teacher is not married and has no kids, as an fyi.

This bothers me. I am not married and I don't have kids, but my time is just as important to me as my colleagues time is to them. The teacher should not be expected to do things that other teachers are not doing just because of her family makeup. I have a dog that I have to get home to. To me, that's just as important.

You have to be willing to work with the teacher and not blame her for not having time when you have time.

I mentioned that I do call parents from my cell phone (I don't openly hand out my number though) and some of them will call me back on that number because I don't block it. I had a parent recently that called me 4 times in one day and left messages at school. The secretary said she was getting nastier each time. The problem? That day I had a prep period in the morning. I didn't get the first message until lunch and I tried to call her on my lunch period, I got her voicemail and left a message saying I was trying to return her call. If I'm teaching, there is no option for me to call or answer a call. I tried again after school, went right to voicemail again. When I got home, I turned my cell phone off. When I turned it back on the next morning there was a voicemail message from the mother from 9:47 the night before and she said, "I guess you don't want to talk to me" Honestly, I really don't at that time.

 

[ShannonMB]

This bothers me. I am not married and I don't have kids, but my time is just as important to me as my colleagues time is to them. The teacher should not be expected to do things that other teachers are not doing just because of her family makeup. I have a dog that I have to get home to. To me, that's just as important.

You have to be willing to work with the teacher and not blame her for not having time when you have time.

I mentioned that I do call parents from my cell phone (I don't openly hand out my number though) and some of them will call me back on that number because I don't block it. I had a parent recently that called me 4 times in one day and left messages at school. The secretary said she was getting nastier each time. The problem? That day I had a prep period in the morning. I didn't get the first message until lunch and I tried to call her on my lunch period, I got her voicemail and left a message saying I was trying to return her call. If I'm teaching, there is no option for me to call or answer a call. I tried again after school, went right to voicemail again. When I got home, I turned my cell phone off. When I turned it back on the next morning there was a voicemail message from the mother from 9:47 the night before and she said, "I guess you don't want to talk to me" Honestly, I really don't at that time.

Somehow my name came up as the poster of the quote you referenced, and I just wanted to say that was the OP responding to me. ITA that it doesn't matter if the teacher is married or has kids, her life outside school is her own.

I also wanted to say to the OP that I agree with a couple other posters that she might want to go ahead and schedule a call with THIS teacher between 1 and 2, rearranging clients if necessary. Then if THIS particular teacher blows you off, then you would have a reason to expect something over and above what she's willing to do for you.

I really do wish you the best of luck in getting everything cleared up with the school so your son can have safe and happy days at school! Everyone deserves that! I'm sure you will find a way to get him taken care of while not unfairly infringing on the teacher's time.

 

[gina2000]

You need to schedule an appointment that includes the principal, the child study team, the school nurse, and the teacher. An adjustment needs to be made to your child's 504/IEP plan so that accomodations can be made that meet the needs of the child, whether those needs are physical accomodations or schoolwork related. If your child does not have a 504, this needs to be addressed. At that meeting, your concerns can be addressed.

In the meantime, talk to the principal and the school nurse if you cannot arrange mutually convenient time with the teacher.

 

[deerhart]

You should deal with this issue through your son's IEP. He DOES have an IEP right? Because if he doesn't, he should.

We communicate mostly through emails and notes home with the teachers, but I have had phone calls after school hours from both teachers and the principal/Assistant principal. If it is something immediate that must be addressed without delay, my phone call is either routed to a person who can deal with it (usually the AP) or my call is sent directly to the classroom. I've only had to do that once (son had a bad reaction to medication and we were called and it was my return call)

 

[kellyw8863]

While I did respond that I have on (rare) occasion called parents outside of school hours, I do not think it is fair to expect that this teacher should make accommodations based on the fact that she is single with no children. I also have a child with a rare, progressive disease, so I'm assuming that your child has an IEP? If you feel that the treatment he is receiving in the classroom is detrimental to his health, then I would recommend calling an emergency IEP meeting and make it clear to his liason that he will not be returning to school until it happens. I imagine that the school would move rather quickly to make sure that this happens.

 

[ilovejack02]

Our school system, does not allow phone calls, email or hand written notes concerning students. Any issues must be discussed face to face, they are available several different times during the week for conferences. We also can't set this up with teachers, only the office.

 

[Arabella1978]

Our school system, does not allow phone calls, email or hand written notes concerning students. Any issues must be discussed face to face, they are available several different times during the week for conferences. We also can't set this up with teachers, only the office.

Wow that is really strict! So how do you even schedule a conference then? Can you write a not that says 'we need to have a conference?" Or does that violate the policy? I would think that would be a pain in the rear.

 

[deerhart]

it would also never survive an IEP. There is no reason for a face to face meeting with a teacher to discuss if there has been any change in behavior in the classroom during medication trials etc.. Its a waste of both the parents and teachers time, when a simple note home will suffice.

I understand the REASONING behind the rule (to protect student privacy), but the school would grow REAL tired of my family very quickly! (we see notes DAILY on my youngests behavior)

 

[palpluto]

You know when you can speak with her so why don't you get a sitter to stay with your son while you are on the phone? Or his father? neighbor? No one ever relieves you other times?

You can't rearrange your clients by 15 minutes one day? but you want her to have the school find and pay for a sub so she can meet with you during the school day? As a tax payer I don't like that.

It also sounds like you are already blaming her for something that she hasn't done yet. You said other people at the school have said they would call and didn't-Has she ever done that?, you can't blame her for others actions.

I'm sorry but you do have some responsibility to arrange care so you can speak to her just as you would if you had a baby at home and needed to meet with the teacher.

OP here- In response to this and others- this ? seems to have taken on a life of its own. It would have taken pages to explain all the details and what has been tried.
The question was..
as a parent- if you had a concern and the teacher and you were unable to connect before the end of the school day would you think a teacher would, in certain circumstances make a call outside of school hours?
to a teacher- if you and a child with multiple complicated needs were unable to connect, would you make a phone call after school hrs?
A Couple clarifications-
I attempted to call her during those hours, she was unavailable. That is why the discussion is her calling me. I would never call her at home. No, there is no husband, neighbor etc, unfortunately. Which is why when I can only work when he attends school whioch is scattered, taking off is difficult for something that may happen. I take off all the time for meetings and have stated I am available any day ds is in school for a conference at 1. Then I know it will happen. Conferences sometimes take days/weeks to schedule and are a bit overkill for something that can happen in a 10 min conversation. And, there will probably be another need for a conversation this yr at some time. Yes, with my typical babies, I could leave them with someone else if need be, not DS. There is nothing I can do about the A.M. when I am with him, and it is possible only another parent of a special needs child who needs supervision every minute can get that. Email is the general mode of communication and has been all yr. The administration is who told me to talk to the teacher not the nurse about concerns in the class. I do talk to the nurse, who is available and genuinely cares about DS.
I'm sure I have missed some points but those are a few to demonstrate the impossibility of giving all the details here.
So, it seems the answer is, it really depends on the teacher if they would take that 10 mins out of their private life in order to have a conversation when email, talking to other staff, attempting phone calls, etc did not work. ( What makes me consistently available whenever a phone call were to come in the evening is that I have older children who are home that can watch him for 10 mins) My question was not looking for advice, although one PP made a good suggestion I will try, but out of curiosity-
Are the teachers this year typical or have the other 14 yrs I have had children in school (most private) been typical? I have never had this before. Although, I will say, in private school there was never a time that I felt like my child was just a number and that has been often these last 3 years in public. Unfortunately, private is no longer an option due to circumstances.

 

[ilovejack02]

Wow that is really strict! So how do you even schedule a conference then? Can you write a not that says 'we need to have a conference?" Or does that violate the policy? I would think that would be a pain in the rear.

I have to call the school office and request conference, the secretaries have the teachers schedules and will make appt right away. The teachers will send a note home requesting a meeting if need be.

I was not a happy camper about it at first, but have since gotten with the program ; ), nothing else I can do.

 

[ilovejack02]

it would also never survive an IEP. There is no reason for a face to face meeting with a teacher to discuss if there has been any change in behavior in the classroom during medication trials etc.. Its a waste of both the parents and teachers time, when a simple note home will suffice.

I understand the REASONING behind the rule (to protect student privacy), but the school would grow REAL tired of my family very quickly! (we see notes DAILY on my youngests behavior)

We have plenty of children with IEPs.. so they may make concessions for this type of situation. It is clearly spelled out in our handbook how we have to speak with the teachers.

Now I will say that after a rough few weeks in kindergarten the principal and I had a phone conversation on how to handle DS, but any contact with teacher was done in person.

 

[Arabella1978]

I have to call the school office and request conference, the secretaries have the teachers schedules and will make appt right away. The teachers will send a note home requesting a meeting if need be.

I was not a happy camper about it at first, but have since gotten with the program ; ), nothing else I can do.

You know I totally could go along with this though...I think some teachers abuse the phone calling thing. For instance, this year, my son who is normally almost a straight A student (except for spelling hehe,), Only got 5 out of 12 spelling words right on a test day. (he's 8), and the teacher decided if she could humiliate him by making him CALL me on the CLASSROOM PHONE in FRONT OF THE ENTIRE CLASS and have him TELL ME that he failed his test, he might take studying for spelling more seriously. Well I wasn't home, but when I got home and got the message in which he was sobbing from humiliation and in which I could hear his classmates laughing at him in the background, well I was FURIOUS!! Good thing I had that recording though. The principal and counselor listened to it, and now there is a new rule that classroom phones cannot be used while school is in session unless it's a quick call home to ask mom or dad to bring lunch money etc..

So yeah, I can see how a policy like your school's would actually be okay..

 

[FlightlessDuck]

as a parent- if you had a concern and the teacher and you were unable to connect before the end of the school day would you think a teacher would, in certain circumstances make a call outside of school hours?

No.

I have had teachers talk to us after school via email. Heck, my daughter's band director drove her home during a football game because she was having an asthma attack. And he has delivered an instrument to her at home. Of course, he lives three houses down...

One of our teachers has a blog where the kids can ask for homework help after hours.

But I wouldn't expect our teachers to do those things.

 

[ShannonMB]

OP here- In response to this and others- this ? seems to have taken on a life of its own. It would have taken pages to explain all the details and what has been tried.
The question was..
as a parent- if you had a concern and the teacher and you were unable to connect before the end of the school day would you think a teacher would, in certain circumstances make a call outside of school hours?
to a teacher- if you and a child with multiple complicated needs were unable to connect, would you make a phone call after school hrs?

I guess you've gotten the answer to that, then. Sounds like most people feel like it's not something a teacher should have to do. It sounds heartless to think that a teacher would not take 10 minutes out of her private life to tend to you and your son's needs. But perhaps it would just set a bad precedent for the teacher. If she makes private calls to you in the evenings, should she do that for every student? If she agrees to call you *just this once* under these circumstances, is she leading you to believe that she will be at your beck and call any time you feel you need to tell her something about your child? This is what I would be asking myself if I were the teacher, which is probably why a lot of them have a very strict "no call after school hours" policy.

I'm really sorry you feel like your son is just a number in the public schools. A lot of us entrust the most precious people in our lives to the schools, and we all want to feel like the people teaching them actually care about them!!! It sounds like you were really happy at the private school your older kids went to, and I'm sorry you can't send your youngest there, too. But I think it's probably comparing apples to oranges and best to just move forward and not think about the good ol' days. Again, best of luck!!

 

[Zeebs]

OP here- In response to this and others- this ? seems to have taken on a life of its own. It would have taken pages to explain all the details and what has been tried.
The question was..
as a parent- if you had a concern and the teacher and you were unable to connect before the end of the school day would you think a teacher would, in certain circumstances make a call outside of school hours?
to a teacher- if you and a child with multiple complicated needs were unable to connect, would you make a phone call after school hrs?
A Couple clarifications-
I attempted to call her during those hours, she was unavailable. That is why the discussion is her calling me. I would never call her at home. No, there is no husband, neighbor etc, unfortunately. Which is why when I can only work when he attends school whioch is scattered, taking off is difficult for something that may happen. I take off all the time for meetings and have stated I am available any day ds is in school for a conference at 1. Then I know it will happen. Conferences sometimes take days/weeks to schedule and are a bit overkill for something that can happen in a 10 min conversation. And, there will probably be another need for a conversation this yr at some time. Yes, with my typical babies, I could leave them with someone else if need be, not DS. There is nothing I can do about the A.M. when I am with him, and it is possible only another parent of a special needs child who needs supervision every minute can get that. Email is the general mode of communication and has been all yr. The administration is who told me to talk to the teacher not the nurse about concerns in the class. I do talk to the nurse, who is available and genuinely cares about DS.
I'm sure I have missed some points but those are a few to demonstrate the impossibility of giving all the details here.
So, it seems the answer is, it really depends on the teacher if they would take that 10 mins out of their private life in order to have a conversation when email, talking to other staff, attempting phone calls, etc did not work. ( What makes me consistently available whenever a phone call were to come in the evening is that I have older children who are home that can watch him for 10 mins) My question was not looking for advice, although one PP made a good suggestion I will try, but out of curiosity-
Are the teachers this year typical or have the other 14 yrs I have had children in school (most private) been typical? I have never had this before. Although, I will say, in private school there was never a time that I felt like my child was just a number and that has been often these last 3 years in public. Unfortunately, private is no longer an option due to circumstances.

Answer to the first question NO I would not expect a teacher to accommodate my needs outside of school hours.

With regards to the red statement - how is the safety of your child overkill?

My advice would be, if you don't want to arrange a conference with the teacher, is to send and email, explaining your situation and the difficulty of contacting her, then ask her to supply a set time eg 1.10 pm when she will be available for you to call her (after making it clear that you will be taking time off work to speak to her) I can't imagine if you set up a particular time she will not available.

If she doesn't take the call then you will have to just arrange a conference to meet in person.

Kirsten

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

Wow, we must be really lucky. Our teachers often call in the evenings, even on Saturdays, just to touch base and let me know how my boys are doing. Our teachers very often give their home # and address too. I wouldn't call them at home but have sent holiday and thank you cards. I'm not sure that they've done it every year but many, many years they have.

My little ds's 1st grade teacher would call me on a Sat to discuss ds (not just negatives, some positives too), we'd end up chatting about Disney, Disney cruises, what to do to keep up his reading & math skills while on the cruise such as miles sailed, show him distance traveling on a world map, etc. While on the phone, I can hear her kids inquire who she's talking to and she'd tell them "________'s mom". Her kids would say, "Oohhh! Let me talk to _________!" (her kids went to after school care with __________ so they do know him.) Once our conversation was done our kids would chat a while.

I can't imagine having to have a face to face meeting for everything b/c a teacher isn't sure he/she is really speaking to me.

Both have ADHD, one very mild, other severe and has an IEP. Many times, esp for the annual IEP review, we have our conference by phone when I can't get off work. (I work in a hospital so limited # of staff can be off at same time. Dh is not good at dealing with this stuff as he should have had an IEP himself but instead was beaten daily by nuns; that's another story.) My boss knows ahead of time that I will be 'off the floor' once I get the phone call. The meeting time is planned ahead and though they try to stick to a schedule, it's not always exact. Our CST has day after day of IEP annual meetings and they have it down pat. Some members are there in the meeting room all day, others come and go such as reg teachers, sped teachers, speech, OT etc. depending on the needs of each child. Once they're all assembled, they call my work and put me on speaker phone.

OP: Maybe by email, you and your son's teacher could set a very specific date and time to have a phone call. Just b/c others have stood you up, don't assume this teacher will also. This way you don't cancel work plans unless you both agree to have this phone call at the specified time. You should also have a firm plan as to who is going to initiate the call and you're both in agreement that the other person will be ready to receive the call.
Good luck!

 

[HappyDznyCamper]

Not trying to be nosy(really I'm not), but does your son have an IEP or 504 plan? Could part of those plans be that you and the teacher have a regularly scheduled phone or face to face conversation once a month to touch bases. Again, the timing of that will require compromise on both parts, but teaching is a partnership with the family and school, it should never be one sided.