Teacher Phone Calls

[nicki.momof3]

Another public school teacher here (special ed) - I have to agree with the other posters that email is the best answer. I can check my email quickly through out the day while my class is doing something quiet however, calling a parent in front of a class is not an option.

She has given you 2 times daily that she is available. If you want to have a phone conversation with her you need to call during her available times. I understand you have a special needs child and I also know from personal experience as a special ed teacher that conversations of such nature can be very lengthy.

I think you are only seeing your side of the situation here. You don't know her situation - she might have other demands at home that also prevent her from talking about your child at home. I personally do not talk to parents from home because I have 3 children in the same school system I teach in and they do not need to hear a conversation about another student.

Also as a parent of a special needs child I am sure you are offered yearly (if not more) one on one meetings (IEPS) with all the eduational professionals involved with your child. This is a great oppertunity for you to have important conversations in a private setting.

My best advise is to work with his teachers not against them. Teachers have lives and families and all the responsibilities you do outside of school. Teaching is not an on call profession. Personally I give 110% to my students everyday and it is demanding. At the end of the day my family deserves the same attention.

 

[princessmom29]

I can't understand a teacher not talking to a parent after school. Our contract states that we are to be at school a certain amount of time per day, for most of us that means at least half an hour after the kids leave. If I couln't get hold of the teacher or she didn't return calls, I'd be calling the principal.

The way I understand it, she is returning calls, just not at a convinent time for the op. Correct me if I am wrong, op. I get the impression that the teacher cannot for whatever reason the teacher cannot call when the op wants her to. There are 2 almost hour long block of time when she can be reached, and I think that is making herself accessible line line with what is expected of teachers. If the op cannot call during those times, she may need to find antoher form of communication that works. I run up against this problem myself when I have first block planning. My planning time ends at 8:30, so many of my parents aren't up. I try to take calls during lunch, but that is only a 20 min window, and after school it is often difficult to reach working parents. I have played phone tag with someone for days before reaching them, not because I wasn't returning calls, but we just kept missing each other.

 

[ShannonMB]

OP here-Yes. Lots of email- its just the times that we need to have a conversation.

In the many years my other children have been in school, the teachers have often called at whatever point in the evening was convenient, not necessarily stayed after.

To other PP-
Unfortunately, I can't rearrange the schedule of having an ill child who wakes up and needs to be taken care of in the a.m. And, if I knew she was going to call I could arrange my work schedule to be by a phone. The problem with that is I have done that for another school person and never got the call- lost work hours and no conversation. And, if he is with me ther eis really nothing I can do about that- he is not a child that can be left unattended while I go in the other room for 10-15 mins to talk on the phone.

I don't mean to sound snarky at all when I say this, but are there really that many times when you need to speak to the teacher and not just do the email thing? I understand a lot of people prefer face to face or voice to voice contact, but if you are really that hard to reach when the teacher is available, email sounds like your only option. .

I'm not a teacher, but I would never expect my child's teacher to call me in the evening so we could talk about my child's schooling. If I need to speak to my child's teacher, I make an appt at the teacher's convenience. Missing work or whatever has to happen so that I can get the answers I'm looking for. That is my responsibility as the parent, not the teacher's. JMHO! I think you might be asking too much of this teacher to want regular ongoing telephoning at times when it simply doesn't work for her. She has (and deserves) a life that has nothing to do with her students.

 

[bumbershoot]

I don't mean to sound snarky at all when I say this, but are there really that many times when you need to speak to the teacher and not just do the email thing? I understand a lot of people prefer face to face or voice to voice contact, but if you are really that hard to reach when the teacher is available, email sounds like your only option. .

She did state at the beginning of the post that she had only had 3 total conversations by phone since the start of the school year. And right now, it sounds like there's something important to talk about, that the AP (assistant principal?) says she needs to talk to the teacher about. She says she needs a *conversation*, and that is hard to do by email, unless both people are sitting there at their desks. Otherwise it becomes a long, drawn-out thing.


OP, is there any way you can get some help during the times that the teacher is available? Someone to do a few of the things you need to do with your youngest?

Or perhaps

 

[disneyjunkie]

I don't mean to sound snarky at all when I say this, but are there really that many times when you need to speak to the teacher and not just do the email thing? I understand a lot of people prefer face to face or voice to voice contact, but if you are really that hard to reach when the teacher is available, email sounds like your only option. .

I'm not a teacher, but I would never expect my child's teacher to call me in the evening so we could talk about my child's schooling. If I need to speak to my child's teacher, I make an appt at the teacher's convenience. Missing work or whatever has to happen so that I can get the answers I'm looking for. That is my responsibility as the parent, not the teacher's. JMHO! I think you might be asking too much of this teacher to want regular ongoing telephoning at times when it simply doesn't work for her. She has (and deserves) a life that has nothing to do with her students.

OP, are you married? If so, your husband help with your son or speak to the teacher during the posted times. Are there other family members or friends that can help out?

 

[teacher100]

Teachers have an obligation to all of their students. For this reason they can't and most of the time not allowed to make phone calls when they are supposed to be providing instruction. It sounds like your child's teacher actually has more time for phone calls then some. I get a total of 3- 45 minute planning times a day. We do stay after school for 30 minutes a day, but some school systems the teachers come to school before because that really works better for working parents, because it is easier for them to go into work a little later than leave work the middle of the day. You mentioned you can't leave your son for just a few minutes, the teacher can't leave her students for a second. There are many days I don't even go to the restroom until the kids leave! I don't think she is avoiding you since she has given you two different times to call. Teacher's families have to make a lot of sacrifices. I have missed orientations, PTA programs, award days because they have conflicted with my schools programs. For that reason I am one of those teachers who will not take phone calls at my home. I'm at school until 3:30. My kids go to bed at 8:30 so that is their time. After that I am usually grading papers and doing lessons plans.

On the parent side I feel for you if your work isn't flexible. Some states have a mandatory parent leave time they have to give parents.

 

[J3nn78]

I am a teacher and I am available by phone ONLY during my contracted school hours. I have a a family too and they get my undivided attention after school. I get a precious 3.5 hours with them a day during the week. No one interferes with that.

I think it is your responsibility to make yourself available during her available phone time. I would not expect my child's teachers to rearrange their schedules for me. My little ones are still in preschool, but I take time off when I have to meet the teacher for conferences-since she only holds them during the day.

I also would NEVER give out my home/cell number to parents. I know that 95% would respect that and call only when a true emergency arises, but I also know that at least 5% would call for nonsense reasons at all hours.

 

[notsosnowwhite]

I know I'm repeating what many others have already said, but teachers have to at times set limits in order to take care of their own lives and meet what the school corporation is mandating. In my years of being an elementary homeroom teacher I was very limited with the amount of time I was allowed to take phone calls - we were not allowed to use our cell phones during school hours. We did not have phones in our individual classrooms. I often had lunch duty or meetings during my plans and could not take phone calls during these times. I coached after school and was not available for calls during this time. I had to set severe limits to phone calls to my home due to parents that took advantage of having my home number and would not hesitate to call several times a day, waking up my small children both after bedtime or extremely early in the morning. It's a tough position. That being said, I made communication with parents my first priority - e-mail, handwritten notes, and even home visits if that's what was necessary to meet the needs of the child. I'm sorry you're going through this, but you may need to look at other ways to communicate other than via phone.

 

[palpluto]

I don't mean to sound snarky at all when I say this, but are there really that many times when you need to speak to the teacher and not just do the email thing? I understand a lot of people prefer face to face or voice to voice contact, but if you are really that hard to reach when the teacher is available, email sounds like your only option. .

OP here- to clear up a couple things-As I explained we do use email, and I have had 2 phone conversations this yr, so no it is not a regular occurance. The problem comes when I explain in what I think are clear terms about my son, and he ends up getting harmed because someone does not understand. He has a rare progressive disease. Sometimes explaining by email, when the person can't ask questions is difficult. When something has happened that they clearly did not understand, it shows we need to have a conversation. I have now told her I am available for a conference any day he attends school (scheduled part time due to disease) between 1-2 and am waiting to hear back. The problem is if it is a problem that should have resolution before he returns to school, it is difficult to wait for a planned conference. I will not take off work between 1-2 for a phone call that may happen, and in the past other school staff has said they would call and it did not happen. So, I may be available, but if it may not happen I won't cancel clients for a possible phone call. There is nothing I can do about my son being with me in the a.m. He is ambulatory and can not be left unattended while I go in another rm to talk. No, there is not another adult. I will not discuss his prognosis or disease issues in front of him.
The bottom line question was, when something can't be fully explained by email, is it reasonable to think that a teacher would make a call after school hours if they were unable to reach the parent within a day, so that the childs needs can be met. Or, is it not a reasonable expectation and I should just deal with it and keep my son home until we manage to speak if necessary. He is very complicated and I know the school has not had this before. He is also on grade level, so belongs in a reg class. The teacher is not married and has no kids, as an fyi.

It has been interesting getting opinions. Unfortunately most of the suggestions have already been attempted.

 

[palpluto]

She did state at the beginning of the post that she had only had 3 total conversations by phone since the start of the school year. And right now, it sounds like there's something important to talk about, that the AP (assistant principal?) says she needs to talk to the teacher about. She says she needs a *conversation*, and that is hard to do by email, unless both people are sitting there at their desks. Otherwise it becomes a long, drawn-out thing.


OP, is there any way you can get some help during the times that the teacher is available? Someone to do a few of the things you need to do with your youngest?

OP here-
Thanks- actually it is the same child who is with me and the student.

I have tried calling during those hrs and they may not have found her, which is why I am talking about her making calls and it is not planned. I know school is a big building and often they can't find someone right away. I would never call her at home, other teachers in the 16 yrs I have had a child in school have on ocassion called me at home after school when we were unable to connect.

 

[disneyjunkie]

I don't mean to sound snarky at all when I say this, but are there really that many times when you need to speak to the teacher and not just do the email thing? I understand a lot of people prefer face to face or voice to voice contact, but if you are really that hard to reach when the teacher is available, email sounds like your only option. .

OP here- to clear up a couple things-As I explained we do use email, and I have had 2 phone conversations this yr, so no it is not a regular occurance. The problem comes when I explain in what I think are clear terms about my son, and he ends up getting harmed because someone does not understand. He has a rare progressive disease. Sometimes explaining by email, when the person can't ask questions is difficult. When something has happened that they clearly did not understand, it shows we need to have a conversation. I have now told her I am available for a conference any day he attends school (scheduled part time due to disease) between 1-2 and am waiting to hear back. The problem is if it is a problem that should have resolution before he returns to school, it is difficult to wait for a planned conference. I will not take off work between 1-2 for a phone call that may happen, and in the past other school staff has said they would call and it did not happen. So, I may be available, but if it may not happen I won't cancel clients for a possible phone call. There is nothing I can do about my son being with me in the a.m. He is ambulatory and can not be left unattended while I go in another rm to talk. No, there is not another adult. I will not discuss his prognosis or disease issues in front of him.
The bottom line question was, when something can't be fully explained by email, is it reasonable to think that a teacher would make a call after school hours if they were unable to reach the parent within a day, so that the childs needs can be met. Or, is it not a reasonable expectation and I should just deal with it and keep my son home until we manage to speak if necessary. He is very complicated and I know the school has not had this before. He is also on grade level, so belongs in a reg class. The teacher is not married and has no kids, as an fyi.

Just as you aren't willing to change your schedule for a phone call the may occur, the teacher may feel the same way.

I can't tell you how many times I've gone in early or stayed late to meet with a parent only to have the person not show up. If this happens to you enough times,you stop doing it.


The teacher may have a second job or she could be caring for elderly parents.

 

[HappyDznyCamper]

It sounds like you really need to call the school and schedule a face to face conference with the teacher and other pertinent school personnel, because it seems a phone call is just not going to be enough in a time easy for both of you. This may mean the school has to get someone to sit in the teachers room while she is in the meeting, and you may need to find someone to be with you child if he is not already in class. Call Monday and speak with the principal and see what you can work out, but remember it will need to be a compromise on your part too.

PS Just because she is single with no kids doesn't mean she doesn't have a life outside of school that makes communication after school hours near impossible. My daughter had a 4th grade teacher who worked as a waitress after school hours so unless you wanted that call after 10pm you needed to get in done on school planning time.

 

[r4blessings]

OP, I think you are in a tough spot, b/c obviously you are concerned for your son's safety and don't feel comfortable sending him to school until the staff understand your son's needs. If need be, I would email the teacher and let her know that some issues have come up that concern you regarding your son's safety and that you need to speak with her before he returns to school. I would let her know that you are expecting a call from her between 1-2 (the hours she has said she is available) to resolve these issues so that your son can return to school. Then I would make myself available for that phone conference. If the teacher fails to contact you at that time, then I feel like you can certainly put a call in to the principal and/or nurse (since this seems like it might be a medical issue that she should be made aware of as well). If you have to contact the principal that you can honestly say that you made yourself available to phone conference with the teacher to discuss your son's medical needs and that she failed to contact you. But, as others have said, you will have to be available during that hour initially.

Also, just because a teacher is not married or does not have children does not mean they do not have afternoon/evening obligations outside of the school day that prevents them from calling you. When DH and I were first married, he was teaching all day, coaching out on the football field until 5:30 and then heading up to the college where he was completing his masters. Often times he was at school until after 10pm or so. And it was quite a challenge to get his grading/plans done while he was working so hard.

Now that we are married and I stay home with our children, he still coaches until 6 or 7pm and often times goes to the library or a child's home for home tutoring. Usually he does not get home until after 8pm and then he has his own children to spend time with.

I think the real issue here though, is that you feel that the teacher is not creating a safe environment for your child and is doing little to discuss with you. Try reaching out to her and letting her know that you are willing to take an hour off work to discuss with her, as long as she promises to call you this way you are not taking an hour off for nothing. And I know you said that another staff member never called you once before, but give the teacher her own chance. Good luck, and I hope you are able to connect.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Since your student is medically fragile, shouldn't you be talking to the principal or someone on the special ed staff? Perhaps you need to have an actual meeting. Your child should probably have a medical IEP (504 plan).

 

[FlightlessDuck]

son, and he ends up getting harmed because someone does not understand.

It seems apparent to me that your child probably should NOT be in a regular kindergarten classroom.

Your student has special needs that must, by law, be addressed by the district. A regular kindergarten teacher is probably not trained in these needs. You need to talk with the principal and special ed teacher.

 

[michellev]

Another teacher chiming in. I think you really need to schedule a face to face interview with the teacher. Make an appointment and schedule time off of work.

I do not make parent phone calls from home and I would never in a million years give out my private phone number to a parent. My number is unlisted. Several teachers at my school have gotten phone calls from parents late or in the middle of the night.

I make parent phone calls during the day and immediately after school. The latest I can stay at school to meet with parents is 4pm. Outside of that time I have my own life and own responsibilities. I think it is unreasonable to expect this teacher to be available at your convenience.

 

[Go Saints!]

I am a teacher as well. I arrive at school an hour early every morning, and this may be when I try to contact you. Our school only allows conferences in the morning before school starts. (Other than Parent Teacher Conferences for Report Cards.) I respond to most parents via email. My planning period is at the end of the day, so if I need to make a phone call that is when I may also try and call. Once school is over I am ready to head home. I also have a young child and want to spend time with him. I have to be home at a certain time to get him off of the bus. I have my own routines that I do not want to disturb just as you have. I also do not make calls from home and do not give out my private number for the same reasons as stated in other posts. I have also had coworkers whose students have gotten a hold of their numbers and crank called them in the middle of the night. I will say though, that if it is something that needs to be addressed I will try and accomodate a parent under certain circumstances, and make arrangements for someone to be there for my son. I do understand that some parents are just not available to be there at the times I can discuss the problem, but you may want to try and help accomodate the teacher too. She also has a life outside of work.

 

[java]

Most teachers in the elementary school give out their home numbers. I would send in a note expressing that you need to speak with her and here is your number you are available these times- giving her the option of when to call you that also fits into your schedule.

We had one teacher through the years say I am available during 8-8:15. She was giving you a 15 minute window- when the buses all come at that time. So nobody would be home to do that time frame phone call. I had an issue- I emailed her and we discovered that email worked best for us.

Why do you have to talk it out? Email may be a better option. Having things in WRITING is always a good thing.

 

[Hannathy]

You know when you can speak with her so why don't you get a sitter to stay with your son while you are on the phone? Or his father? neighbor? No one ever relieves you other times?

You can't rearrange your clients by 15 minutes one day? but you want her to have the school find and pay for a sub so she can meet with you during the school day? As a tax payer I don't like that.

It also sounds like you are already blaming her for something that she hasn't done yet. You said other people at the school have said they would call and didn't-Has she ever done that?, you can't blame her for others actions.

I'm sorry but you do have some responsibility to arrange care so you can speak to her just as you would if you had a baby at home and needed to meet with the teacher.

 

[mjkacmom]

Most teachers in the elementary school give out their home numbers. I would send in a note expressing that you need to speak with her and here is your number you are available these times- giving her the option of when to call you that also fits into your schedule.

We had one teacher through the years say I am available during 8-8:15. She was giving you a 15 minute window- when the buses all come at that time. So nobody would be home to do that time frame phone call. I had an issue- I emailed her and we discovered that email worked best for us.

Why do you have to talk it out? Email may be a better option. Having things in WRITING is always a good thing.

I have 5 children in public school, and teachers will NEVER give out their home numbers - they don't even have listed numbers for this reason. My gf teaches 6th grade, and she does give out her cellphone number. I've never met another teacher that gives out a cellphone number, and even the emails are through the school (you don't get their personal email address).